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10 Things Will Happen When You Stop Limiting Yourself

10 Things Will Happen When You Stop Limiting Yourself

Too often do people limit themselves by not being sure of their success.

I know many great individuals with huge potential who just don’t try new things because they fear failure, who don’t feel comfortable in their own skin and as a result don’t approach new people or speak up. That’s an awful way to live life. Because — we’re all equally gifted and it’s all a matter of choice and initiative whether we’ll become the best version of ourselves or live an average life. But if you stop limiting yourself, big transformations will start happening in every area of your life right away.

Here are the most important transformations you’ll experience once you stop limiting yourself:

1. You’ll have bigger goals.

People who always think they can’t succeed are scared to dream big. They don’t dare to set big goals and share them with others. And that’s why they never achieve anything better in life. But if you let go of the limitations you set to yourself, you’ll know you can reach anything you dream about. And so can everyone else.

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So define your deepest desires and ideal lifestyle today, believe you can get there. And write down the things you need to do, think of the person you need to become and the changes you’ll need to make to get closer to your goals.

2. You’ll improve your skills.

As a result of believing in yourself and your abilities more, you’ll work on fighting your weaknesses and improving your strengths. You’ll gain knowledge and experience in new areas, may even master a skill after some time. That will change your perspective of life and you’ll aim even higher after that.

3. You’ll overcome shyness.

Social anxiety can be a result of the lack of self-esteem. But once you stop limiting yourself, there won’t be anything to stop you from communicating with people freely and confidently. A great way to start is by approaching one new person daily, no matter how uncomfortable or scary it may feel. Once you do that, you’ll see it’s nothing impossible. Even if it’s awkward the first few times, you’ll soon feel better around new people and will think of stuff to talk about more easily.

4. You’ll get things done.

Limiting yourself also ruins your productivity. But once you let go of that, you’ll actually get to work more often and will be more focused (instead of procrastinating, thinking you’ll fail, or having doubts). The results will be great too and soon other people will start noticing it.

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5. You’ll be present.

Another way we usually limit ourselves is by living in the past and dreaming of the future, while ignoring the present. We constantly get back to what was before, compare it to what is now and have regrets. We also fear the future, try to predict what might happen or imagine the worst case scenario.

But life happens here in the present moment. And once you realize that, you’ll be able to be more mindful of what’s currently happening.

6. You’ll enjoy life more.

Living in the present has another huge benefit – you truly experience every day, find happiness and contentment, and appreciate the things you have much more.

7. You’ll generate ideas.

Once you’re confident and free from limitations and mental barriers, you’ll also get your creative juices flowing. You’ll start coming up with new ideas, will handle daily problems more easily, and will start working on new projects all the time.

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8. You won’t get depressed.

Depression is often a result of the stress and unhappiness we bring to ourselves by not following our path in life, not doing things we enjoy, not being social or expecting the best to happen. But when you stop limiting yourself you’ll always be doing something – either spending quality time with loved ones and new friends, being focused on your current activity and doing productive work, or working on your goals and dreams.

So there won’t really be any time and reason to get depressed.

9. You’ll take action more often.

Another great benefit of not limiting yourself is that you’ll become action-oriented. Most people have too many doubts and insecurities, fear of failure and distractions get in the way too. But once you have peace of mind and the right amount of confidence, you’ll also take initiative, act upon your goals and turn ideas into reality.

You’ll do many other little things like asking a question when you want to know something, not waiting for the perfect timing and conditions to do something, expressing your opinion and thus simplifying communication. And much more.

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It all starts with doing something right away instead of overthinking it.

10. You’ll become a role model.

One of the best ways to inspire others is to do something great with your life. And if you’re purpose-oriented, know what you want and are going after it, don’t waste time but work hard on what you believe in, and have fun at the same time and are grateful, then you’ll be a great role model.

People will look up to you. You’ll motivate them to do the same without saying anything or making them do so, but simply by following your path and letting them see your progress. So that’s how the life of someone who’s not limiting himself looks like. And you can have the same very soon if you simply decide that you want more out of life and are ready to fight for it.

So what can you do today to stop limiting yourself and start living the life you deserve?

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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