Advertising
Advertising

Live In A Pressure Cooker? Then Turn Down The Heat.

Live In A Pressure Cooker? Then Turn Down The Heat.
We all have our pressure moments but many people experience feelings of being under pressure every day. These people feel they live in a pressure cooker.
Take The Pressure Cooker Inventory and you’ll gain some perspective on why you always feel pressure.  Then read the recommendations on how to feel pressure-less.  Give yourself 1 (low) to 9 (high) points based on how you rate your position on the following items:
  • Frequently feel you are on alert
  • Feel you have to please others
  • Always feeling you have to produce results
  • Question your capabilities
  • Fear negative consequences if not successful
  • Feel others are counting on you; Worry about rejection from others
  • Competitive with others; Keep your feelings to yourself
  • Feel you can’t put down the load you are carrying

Scoring Parameters

80 -100—People in this range typically feel there is no relief from pressure, that they always “have to be on”, and can’t take a break. They feel burdened daily, and are always thinking about what they have to do the next day and yet are tired of “carrying the load.” They are concerned about their future at night and wake up, wondering if they will achieve their goals. Much of their working day is devoted to wondering if their boss and clients thinks well of them. They rarely feel they have job security.

Underlying these feelings are inherent pressure inducers that we all experience, but for those in this category, they are intensified because of their psychological make-up. These include their competitive nature –they always feel they have to be # 1 and “beat the other guy” or else be “weeded out” so their is always relentless pressure on them to perform better and better; their need to be accepted by others and fear of being rejected by others so they are always under the pressure of feeling they have to please others, and feeling responsible for others that often causes them to feel burdened..

Look at your responses for each item and reflect upon your reasons for your high rating.  You’ll get some revelations into how the aforementioned factors influence your feelings of pressure.

Advertising

40-70- –People in this range are like the above but to a lesser degree. They feel they always have something to do, they rarely take extended times to relax, worry about the future, and often feel they are behind the eight ball.

10-30: you feel in control of your life. They feel pressure in particular moments when they have to deliver the goods but do not experience daily burdensome feelings of pressure.

If you were to come to my office, I would give you five actions you can take to reduce the feelings of pressure you experience that you could do in just a few minutes. Here are a few of the things
I would prescribe to you:

Advertising

Focus on how good you are at something, not your ranking.  Competition is a natural pressure inducer because it encourages us to try to be better than others. The tradeoff is a constant feeling that “you have to be the best,” which can create unrealistic expectations and a sense that you don’t measure up. Focusing on your own excellence, rather than beating out the other person, puts you in control of your destiny. It promotes feelings of confidence, rather than pressure anxiety

Let your values and personal expectations guide you.  Literature, films and television shows are rich in story lines in which a characters feels enormous pressure to live up to the expectations of others and we relate to them because it’s such a common pressure.

Whether because of a fear of rejection or the need to be accepted, attempting to perform to meet the expectations of others helps to exacerbate pressure. It can force you to navigate a different course than you would otherwise.

Advertising

Staying true to your values and honoring the goals and expectations you set for yourself are more likely to reduce the feelings of pressure you experience and free yourself from feeling you always have to be pleasing others.

Focus on meaningful purpose, not incentives.  Those who pursue their passions, develop their interest and achieving a sense of purpose and meaning from their work are much more likely to experience positive emotions at work than those who focus on attaining incentives 
such as salaries bonuses and promotions. Paradoxically, those who focus excessively on attaining incentives or losing them are more likely to feel stress, anxiety, and fear— emotions that intensify feelings of pressure that, ironically, inhibit their capabilities to attain the very incentives they desire don’t, as well as greater productivity.

If you are starting out in the work world, follow your genuine interests— any pressure you experience will be buffered by the feelings of curiosity and fulfillment
that come from following your passions. If you’ve been in the work world for a while, try to rekindle your purpose.

Advertising

Appreciate what you “have,” not what you “have not.” Experiencing joy is a great minimizer of pressure. Appreciate the people, events, opportunities, and achievements that enrich your life, but which so many of us often take for granted. Focusing on what you
 don’t have will likely increase your feelings of pressure. To feel pressure-less, take a few minutes each day to appreciate what you have. You’ll actually be stimulating the reward center in your brain which creates pleasurable feelings so you’ll will feel calmer, happier, and more relaxed.

We all live in the Age of Pressure but you don’t have to let it cook you —you can depressurize!

More by this author

The DNA of Success: 4 Attributes We All Need Live In A Pressure Cooker? Then Turn Down The Heat. The Art Of Taking Criticism: Get Curious? Helping Your Kids Handle Pressure Under Pressure? 6 Ways to Stay Cool, Calm, and Collected

Trending in Lifestyle

1 The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want 2 Becoming Self-Taught (The How-To Guide) 3 5 Steps To Move Out Of Stagnancy In Life 4 How Many Hours of Sleep Do I Need? (What the Science Says) 5 How to Learn Yoga (The Beginner’s Guide)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 21, 2020

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

    Why You Need a Vision

    Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

    Advertising

    How to Create Your Life Vision

    Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

    What Do You Want?

    The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

    It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

    Advertising

    Some tips to guide you:

    • Remember to ask why you want certain things
    • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
    • Give yourself permission to dream.
    • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
    • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

    Some questions to start your exploration:

    • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
    • What would you like to have more of in your life?
    • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
    • What are your secret passions and dreams?
    • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
    • What do you want your relationships to be like?
    • What qualities would you like to develop?
    • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
    • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
    • What would you most like to accomplish?
    • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

    It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

    Advertising

    What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

    Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

    A few prompts to get you started:

    • What will you have accomplished already?
    • How will you feel about yourself?
    • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
    • What does your ideal day look like?
    • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
    • What would you be doing?
    • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
    • How are you dressed?
    • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
    • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
    • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

    It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

    Advertising

    Plan Backwards

    It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

    • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
    • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
    • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
    • What important actions would you have had to take?
    • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
    • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
    • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
    • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
    • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

    Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

    It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

    Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

    Read Next