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5 Steps To Overcome Your Fear And Achieve Greatness

5 Steps To Overcome Your Fear And Achieve Greatness

What’s stopping you from achieving your dreams? Who has been dragging you away from the steps you need to take to achieve your goals?

You may argue that the answer is circumstances. You may point your finger to other people. You may even blame it on your luck. It is so much easier to put the responsibilities of your circumstances and situations elsewhere. But you should understand that, in order to achieve greatness, you need to take responsibility for your situation. By taking charge of what is going on in your life, you get to be in control.

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Stop getting in your own way

We have all heard motivational speeches, read self-help books, encountered endless amounts of motivational posts on the internet. Most of us understand the messages and wisdom we read and hear, but yet, we are still not at where we want to be in life. What is it that is actually missing?

The problem

News flash — your fear is what’s stopping you. You don’t see it, or refuse to see it subconsciously, because it makes you vulnerable. You are afraid of having to deal with the setbacks from your own failures. You think you are afraid of how others might react to your failure, but the truth is that you are afraid of how you will deal with your own failure.

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How can you overcome your fear?

  1. Acknowledge your fear — By acknowledging that you are human and that it is okay to be afraid, you are opening up yourself to accepting the unknown by taking chances. That is the first step in facing your fear.
  2. Identify your fear — By identifying your fear, you are one step closer to overcoming. With that noted, you can then start looking at the true source of your fear.
  3. Write down the consequences of giving in to your fear — What happens when you surrender to your fear? How does it feel? What will you lose? Is giving in to your fear worth giving up on your dreams?
  4. Write down what you will gain from overcoming your fear — How would it feel like to just go right ahead and pursue your goals and dreams? What will you gain from accomplishing your goals and achieving your dreams? What if mistakes and setbacks are the essential steps to get you to your destination?
  5. Use your past success experience as your reference  Remember a time that you succeeded. What did you do to achieve your goal? What approaches did you use? Who might have helped you along the way? How did it feel when you achieved your goal?

Take baby steps

Have you ever observed a baby who was learning to walk? Did the baby ever worry about falling when he or she attempted to walk?

Babies are not afraid to walk, even though they have never done it before. They will fall, but they get back up and try again. They simply continue doing so until they master walking. It just never crosses their minds that falling is something they should be afraid of. That is why you never see a baby who refuses to walk after a few falls.

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Today’s society and our environment has made us slaves to our own egos. We refuse to accept failure because we are afraid of being judged. We weren’t born this way. We can choose to focus our minds and bodies to experience diversity and grow into stronger, tougher individuals.

Take a baby step at a time. As long as you are not quitting, you are still proceeding. And as long as you are still proceeding, you will eventually get to where you want to go. Things won’t always go smoothly, but those challenges will take you to your ultimate destination. Don’t pull back and give in to your fear. Remember that the sky will be clear again after the heavy rain.

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Conquer your fear with courage

The only way to conquer your fear is by having the courage to continue pursuing. Stay in action endlessly until your fear subsides. Fear vanishes when you no longer worry about it, and the only way to not worry about it is to push through.

Reflect to yourself when fear is crippling

You can come out with a million reasons and excuses for why something didn’t work out in your life. There’s always a convenient excuse. But if you give in to your fear, what will you gain at the end of the day? Are you achieving what you wanted in your life? Or are you just going to be the victim of your circumstances because you refuse to take charge?

If you must choose to fear, know that the only thing you really should be afraid of is fear itself.

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Crystie Lim

Life Coach

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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