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5 Steps To Overcome Your Fear And Achieve Greatness

5 Steps To Overcome Your Fear And Achieve Greatness

What’s stopping you from achieving your dreams? Who has been dragging you away from the steps you need to take to achieve your goals?

You may argue that the answer is circumstances. You may point your finger to other people. You may even blame it on your luck. It is so much easier to put the responsibilities of your circumstances and situations elsewhere. But you should understand that, in order to achieve greatness, you need to take responsibility for your situation. By taking charge of what is going on in your life, you get to be in control.

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Stop getting in your own way

We have all heard motivational speeches, read self-help books, encountered endless amounts of motivational posts on the internet. Most of us understand the messages and wisdom we read and hear, but yet, we are still not at where we want to be in life. What is it that is actually missing?

The problem

News flash — your fear is what’s stopping you. You don’t see it, or refuse to see it subconsciously, because it makes you vulnerable. You are afraid of having to deal with the setbacks from your own failures. You think you are afraid of how others might react to your failure, but the truth is that you are afraid of how you will deal with your own failure.

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How can you overcome your fear?

  1. Acknowledge your fear — By acknowledging that you are human and that it is okay to be afraid, you are opening up yourself to accepting the unknown by taking chances. That is the first step in facing your fear.
  2. Identify your fear — By identifying your fear, you are one step closer to overcoming. With that noted, you can then start looking at the true source of your fear.
  3. Write down the consequences of giving in to your fear — What happens when you surrender to your fear? How does it feel? What will you lose? Is giving in to your fear worth giving up on your dreams?
  4. Write down what you will gain from overcoming your fear — How would it feel like to just go right ahead and pursue your goals and dreams? What will you gain from accomplishing your goals and achieving your dreams? What if mistakes and setbacks are the essential steps to get you to your destination?
  5. Use your past success experience as your reference  Remember a time that you succeeded. What did you do to achieve your goal? What approaches did you use? Who might have helped you along the way? How did it feel when you achieved your goal?

Take baby steps

Have you ever observed a baby who was learning to walk? Did the baby ever worry about falling when he or she attempted to walk?

Babies are not afraid to walk, even though they have never done it before. They will fall, but they get back up and try again. They simply continue doing so until they master walking. It just never crosses their minds that falling is something they should be afraid of. That is why you never see a baby who refuses to walk after a few falls.

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Today’s society and our environment has made us slaves to our own egos. We refuse to accept failure because we are afraid of being judged. We weren’t born this way. We can choose to focus our minds and bodies to experience diversity and grow into stronger, tougher individuals.

Take a baby step at a time. As long as you are not quitting, you are still proceeding. And as long as you are still proceeding, you will eventually get to where you want to go. Things won’t always go smoothly, but those challenges will take you to your ultimate destination. Don’t pull back and give in to your fear. Remember that the sky will be clear again after the heavy rain.

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Conquer your fear with courage

The only way to conquer your fear is by having the courage to continue pursuing. Stay in action endlessly until your fear subsides. Fear vanishes when you no longer worry about it, and the only way to not worry about it is to push through.

Reflect to yourself when fear is crippling

You can come out with a million reasons and excuses for why something didn’t work out in your life. There’s always a convenient excuse. But if you give in to your fear, what will you gain at the end of the day? Are you achieving what you wanted in your life? Or are you just going to be the victim of your circumstances because you refuse to take charge?

If you must choose to fear, know that the only thing you really should be afraid of is fear itself.

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Crystie Lim

Life Coach

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Last Updated on October 14, 2020

Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

Today didn’t turn out as you planned, but it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It simply means that you’re human, and you’re not bad just because you had a bad day.

“Not everyday is a good day but there is something good in every day.” -Alice Morse Earle

It’s not the end of the world when you find yourself thinking “I had a bad day,” but it can feel like it. You may have had plans that fell apart, experiences that set you back, and interactions that only did harm.

You may have started the day thinking you could take on it all, only to find you could hardly get out of bed. When you have a bad day, you can forget to look at the good.

Sometimes, self-care helps us to remember why we are worth it. It helps us to recharge and reset our mindset. It helps us to know that there are still options and that the day isn’t over yet.

Love yourself today, no matter how hard it’s been. That’s the way to find yourself amidst the hardships you have. That’s how you center yourself and regain focus and live a more meaningful life. Give yourself some credit and compassion.

Here are 7 ways to rebound from a bad day using self-compassion as a tool. If you had a bad day, these are for you!

1. Make a Gratitude List

In a study on gratitude, psychologists Dr. Robert A Emmons and Dr. Michael E. McCullough conducted an experiment where one group of people wrote out gratitude lists for ten weeks while another group wrote about irritations. The study found that the group that wrote about gratitude reported more optimistic mindsets in their lives[1].

Overall, having a gratitude list improved well-being and made one truly grateful by counting the blessings in their lives.

Write a list of what you are grateful for if you had a bad day. Make it as long as you like, but also remember to note why you’re grateful for each thing you write.

What has given you the most joy? What has set you up for better days? Keep a tally of triumphs in mind, especially when you do have the bad days.

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The day doesn’t define you, and you still have things of value that surround you. These could be material things, spiritual connections and experiences, relationships, basic needs, emotional and mental well-being, physical health, progress towards hopes and dreams, or simply being alive.

Here are some other simple ways to practice gratitude.

2. Write in a Journal

Journaling affects your overall mental health, which also affects physical health and aids in the management of stress, depression, anxiety, and more[2].

All you need is a pen and paper, or you could do an online, password-protected journal such as Penzu. The key is to get started and not pressure yourself on how polished or perfect it is. You don’t need to have prior experience to start journal writing. Just start.

Write out everything that is bothering you for 15 minutes. This helps with rumination, processing problems, and can even aid with brainstorming solutions.

However you approach it, you can find patterns of thinking that no longer serve you and start to transform your overall mental state. This will impact all areas of your life and is a great coping skill.

3. Meditate

Meditation can help you overcome negative thought patterns, worrying about the future, dwelling on the past, or struggling to overcome a bad day[3]. It shifts your mentality and helps you focus on the present or any one thing you truly want to focus on.

Here is an example of a meditation you can do:

Get into a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Rest your body, release tension, and unclench your jaw. Tighten and release each muscle group in a body scan for progressive muscle relaxation.

Focus on your breath, taking a few deep breaths. Let your belly expand when you breathe in for diaphragmatic breathing. Empty yourself completely of air, then return to normal breathing.

Next, focus on the idea of self-love and let it erase negative thoughts. Think about the ways you’ve been judging yourself, with the narratives coming up that your mind may create.

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Give yourself unconditional love and release judgment. Take your time meditating on this because you matter. This is particularly important if you had a bad day.

Check out this article for more on how to get started with a meditation practice.

4. Do Child’s Pose

Yoga Outlet says:

“Child’s Pose is a simple way to calm your mind, slow your breath, and restore a feeling of peace and safety. Practicing the pose before bedtime can help to release the worries of the day. Practicing in the morning can you help transition from sleeping to waking.”[4]

When you do Child’s Pose, it can be between difficult positions in yoga, or it can be anytime you feel you need a rest. It helps you recover from difficulties and relax the mind.

It also has the physical health benefits of elongating your back, opening your hips, and helping with digestion[5].

To do Child’s Pose, rest your buttocks back on your feet, knees on the floor. Elongate your body over your knees with both arms extended or tucked back, with head and neck resting on the floor[6].

Had a bad day? Try Child's Pose.

     

    Do this pose as a gift to yourself. You are allowing yourself to heal, rest, get time for yourself, recover, and recharge. When you’ve had a bad day, it’s there waiting for you.

    5. Try Positive Self-Talk

    Engage in positive self-talk. This is essentially choosing your thoughts.

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    When you have a negative thought, such as “I can’t do this,” replace it consciously with the thought “I can do this.” Give yourself positive affirmations to help with this.

    Negative self-talk fits into four general categories: personalizing or blaming yourself, magnifying or only focusing on the negative, catastrophizing or expecting the worst to happen, and polarizing or only seeing back and white[7].

    When you stop blaming yourself for everything and start focusing on the positive, expecting things to work out, and seeing the areas of grey in life, you reverse these negative mindsets and engage in positive self-talk.

    When you speak words of kindness to yourself, your brain responds with a more positive attitude. That attitude will affect everything you do. It’s how you take care of yourself if you had a bad day.

    Check in with yourself to know when you are having negative self-talk. Are you seeing patterns? When did they start to become a problem? Are you able to turn these thoughts around?

    6. Use Coping Skills and Take a Break

    Use your coping skills. This means not letting your thoughts take control of yourself.

    You can distract yourself and escape a bit. Do things you love. You can exercise, listen to music, dance, volunteer or help someone, be in nature, or read a book.

    It isn’t about repression. It’s about redirection. You can’t stay in thoughts that are no longer working for you.

    Sometimes, it’s okay to get out of your own way. Give yourself a break from the things going on in your head. You can always come back to a problem later. This may even help you figure out the best course of action as sometimes stepping away is the only way to see the solution.

    If you had a bad day, you may not feel like addressing what went wrong. You may need a break, so take one.

    7. If a Bad Day Turns Into Bad Days

    “I believe depression is legitimate. But I also believe that if you don’t exercise, eat nutritious food, get sunlight, get enough sleep, consume positive material, surround yourself with support, then you aren’t giving yourself a fighting chance.” –Jim Carrey

    If you’ve been feeling out of control, depressed, or unstable for more than a few weeks, it’s time to call a mental health professional. This is not because you have failed in any way. It’s because you are human, and you simply need help.

    You may not be able to quickly rebound from a bad day, and that’s fine. Feel what you feel, but don’t let it consume you.

    When you talk to a professional, share the techniques that you have already tried here and whether they were helpful. They may tell you additional ideas or gain insights from your struggles of not being able to rebound from a series of bad days.

    If you’re having more than just a bad day, they will want to know. If you don’t have the answers, that’s okay, too. You just need to try these tools and figure out how you’re feeling. That’s all that’s required of you.

    Keep taking care of yourself. Any progress is progress, no matter how small. Give yourself a chance to get better by reaching out.

    Final Thoughts

    If you had a bad day, don’t let it stop you.

    Know this: It’s okay not to be okay. You have a right to feel what you feel. But there is something you can do about it.

    You can invest in yourself via self-care.

    You are not alone in this. Everyone has bad days from time to time. You just need to know that you are the positive things you tell yourself.

    More Things You Can Do If You Had a Bad Day

    Featured photo credit: Anthony Tran via unsplash.com

    Reference

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