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12 Signs You’re a Mom of Young Kids

12 Signs You’re a Mom of Young Kids

Every day is a new adventure when you’re a mom of little kids. My husband and I had 3 kids within 19 months, so I know firsthand the mass chaos, laughs, and struggles involved in having a house full of young children.

While every mom’s journey is different, here are some signs you’re definitely a mom of young kids:

Getting dressed up means changing out of your yoga pants.

You discover you love yoga wear, even though you haven’t made time for yoga in months. When you’re a mom of little kids, you love to wear yoga clothes pretty much every single day. Changing out of your yoga pants into something else – like jeans – is definitely considered dressing up when you’re a mom of young kids.

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    !

    You have experienced the severe pain of stepping on a Lego.

    You’ve cursed a time or two when they’ve been embedded into your foot.

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      You always have visitors in the bathroom.

      If you really want your young kids’ attention, talk on your phone or go to the bathroom. I guarantee they will give you your undivided attention when you do those things. You’ll have a little friend who plays next to you at the bathroom counter, like this little guy:

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        Even if you lock the bathroom door for 30 seconds to eat dessert in peace and quiet, their little hands will come under the door and they’ll be begging for you to come out.

        You secretly love your minivan.

        You swore you’d never own one, but now you’re in love with yours.

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          Cleaning your windows could be a full-time job.

          For some reason, kids are naturally drawn to sucking on glass windows and doors. If you have little kids, I guarantee you have seen this at your home:

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            I’m not quite sure what entices kids to lick windows, or what keeps them coming back for more. Once they discover this maneuver, they’ll be daily visitors to the glass.

            You are gradually accumulating little critters as pets.

            It starts with a little cage for cool bugs, and progresses to fish, frogs and toads, hamsters and guinea pigs. Or, you skip all the little critters and get a kitty or puppy.

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              You have a never-ending ‘to-do’ list.

              You are the queen of multi-tasking, and have become incredibly efficient, but you still have a never-ending list of things to do.

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                You feel like this in the morning…

                You feel strong, capable, and ready to take on the world!

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                  …and this by bedtime routine.

                  You’re absolutely exhausted.

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                    You live in a time warp. You wonder how bedtime routine lasts forever yet the months and years are seriously flying by.

                    Seriously, how does that work?

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                      A trip to Target alone feels like a mini-vacation.

                      If you haven’t felt like walking the aisles in Target alone is like a vacation, just wait – you will.

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                        You get paid in snuggles and “I love yous.”

                        When you’re a mom of young kids, you know there’s no better feeling than their snuggles and their little arms wrapped around your neck. And at the end of the long day, the best sound is to hear their sweet little voices say, “Mommy, I love you.”

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                          Being a mom of little kids is a tough job, but so awesome – and if you feel like I do, I bet you wouldn’t trade it for the world. As crazy and chaotic as life with young kids is, it’s so much fun experiencing the daily adventures of motherhood. It really does go by quickly, and someday we’ll all look back at these sleepless, exhausting times and wish they hadn’t flown by so fast.

                          Featured photo credit: Elvert Barnes/01a.Lululemon.1461P.NW.WDC.19November2012, Sarah Stambaugh-asleep on couch/Mike Burns,Dark muscle woman/Rikard Elofsson,128/365/David D,Petit Grenouille/Webhamster,Udo’s First Shave, Tastes Great. Less Filling/Juhan Sonin, _MG_6229/Valentina Yachichurova, Like a Baby/Sky Captain Two, NASCAR Layout/Mike, To-Do List/Jayel Aheram, via flickr.com

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                          Dr. Kerry Petsinger

                          Entrepreneur, Mindset & Performance Coach, & Doctor of Physical Therapy

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                          Published on January 30, 2019

                          How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

                          How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

                          In roughly 60 percent of two-parent households with children under the age of 18, both parents work full time. But who takes time off work when the kids are sick in your house? And if you are a manager, how do you react when a man says he needs time to take his baby to the pediatrician?

                          The sad truth is, the default in many companies and families is to value the man’s work over the woman’s—even when there is no significant difference in their professional obligations or compensation. This translates into stereotypes in the workplace that women are the primary caregivers, which can negatively impact women’s success on the job and their upward mobility.

                          According to a Pew Research Center analysis of long-term time-use data (1965–2011), fathers in dual-income couples devote significantly less time than mothers do to child care.[1] Dads are doing more than twice as much housework as they used to (from an average of about four hours per week to about 10 hours), but there is still a significant imbalance.

                          This is not just an issue between spouses; it’s a workplace culture issue. In many offices, it is still taboo for dads to openly express that they have family obligations that need their attention. In contrast, the assumption that moms will be on the front lines of any family crisis is one that runs deep.

                          Consider an example from my company. A few years back, one of our team members joined us for an off-site meeting soon after returning from maternity leave. Not even two hours into her trip, her husband called to say that the baby had been crying nonstop. While there was little our colleague could practically do to help with the situation, this call was clearly unsettling, and the result was that her attention was divided for the rest of an important business dinner.

                          This was her first night away since the baby’s birth, and I know that her spouse had already been on several business trips before this event. Yet, I doubt she called him during his conferences to ask child-care questions. Like so many moms everywhere, she was expected to figure things out on her own.

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                          The numbers show that this story is far from the exception. In another Pew survey, 47 percent of dual-income parents agreed that the moms take on more of the work when a child gets sick.[2] In addition, 39 percent of working mothers said they had taken a significant amount of time off from work to care for their child compared to just 24 percent of working fathers. Mothers are also more likely than fathers (27 percent to 10 percent) to say they had quit their job at some point for family reasons.

                          Before any amazing stay-at-home-dads post an angry rebuttal comment, I want to be very clear that I am not judging how families choose to divide and conquer their personal and professional responsibilities; that’s 100 percent their prerogative. Rather, I am taking aim at the culture of inequity that persists even when spouses have similar or identical professional responsibilities. This is an important issue for all of us because we are leaving untapped business and human potential on the table.

                          What’s more, I think my fellow men can do a lot about this. For those out there who still privately think that being a good dad just means helping out mom, it’s time to man up. Stop expecting working partners—who have similar professional responsibilities—to bear the majority of the child-care responsibilities as well.

                          Consider these ways to support your working spouse:

                          1. Have higher expectations for yourself as a father; you are a parent, not a babysitter.

                          Know who your pediatrician is and how to reach him or her. Have a back-up plan for transportation and emergency coverage.

                          Don’t simply expect your partner to manage all these invisible tasks on her own. Parenting takes effort and preparation for the unexpected.

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                          As in other areas of life, the way to build confidence is to learn by doing. Moms aren’t born knowing how to do this stuff any more than dads are.

                          2. Treat your partner the way you’d want to be treated.

                          I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard a man on a business trip say to his wife on a call something to the effect of, “I am in the middle of a meeting. What do you want me to do about it?”

                          However, when the tables are turned, men often make that same call at the first sign of trouble.

                          Distractions like this make it difficult to focus and engage with work, which perpetuates the stereotype that working moms aren’t sufficiently committed.

                          When you’re in charge of the kids, do what she would do: Figure it out.

                          3. When you need to take care of your kids, don’t make an excuse that revolves around your partner’s availability.

                          This implies that the children are her first priority and your second.

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                          I admit I have been guilty in the past of telling clients, “I have the kids today because my wife had something she could not move.” What I should have said was, “I’m taking care of my kids today.”

                          Why is it so hard for men to admit they have personal responsibilities? Remember that you are setting an example for your sons and daughters, and do the right thing.

                          4. As a manager, be supportive of both your male and female colleagues when unexpected situations arise at home.

                          No one likes or wants disruptions, but life happens, and everyone will face a day when the troubling phone call comes from his sitter, her school nurse, or even elderly parents.

                          Accommodating personal needs is not a sign of weakness as a leader. Employees will be more likely to do great work if they know that you care about their personal obligations and family—and show them that you care about your own.

                          5. Don’t keep score or track time.

                          At home, it’s juvenile to get into debates about who last changed a diaper or did the dishes; everyone needs to contribute, but the big picture is what matters. Is everyone healthy and getting enough sleep? Are you enjoying each other’s company?

                          In business, too, avoid the trap of punching a clock. The focus should be on outcomes and performance rather than effort and inputs. That’s the way to maintain momentum toward overall goals.

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                          The Bottom Line

                          To be clear, I recognize that a great many working dads are doing a terrific job both on the home front and in their professional lives. My concern is that these standouts often aren’t visible to their colleagues; they intentionally or inadvertently let their work as parents fly under the radar. Dads need to be open and honest about family responsibilities to change perceptions in the workplace.

                          The question “How do you balance it all?” should not be something that’s just asked of women. Frankly, no one can answer that question. Juggling a career and parental responsibilities is tough. At times, really tough.

                          But it’s something that more parents should be doing together, as a team. This can be a real bonus for the couple relationship as well, because nothing gets in the way of good partnership faster than feelings of inequity.

                          On the plus side, I can tell you that parenting skills really do get better with practice—and that’s great for people of both sexes. I think our cultural expectations that women are the “nurturers” and men are the “providers” needs to evolve. Expanding these definitions will open the doors to richer contributions from everyone, because women can and should be both—and so should men.

                          Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

                          Reference

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