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7 Things To Remember If You Don’t Want To Die With Any Regrets

7 Things To Remember If You Don’t Want To Die With Any Regrets

There are many statements and pieces of advice that can be said about what it is to live so fully that you won’t have any regret when you die. There is one element that encompasses a full life, and that’s following your truths. It’s being true to yourself about what you want and not deviating from those desires. This is solely what negates the sting of regret. Think hard about these tips so that one day, when it’s time for you to leave this earth, you won’t have any regret when you die.

Don’t Ever Leave Without Saying I Love You

Honestly, this is really important. My mom died last year and I can still feel the amount of love she had for me in her last “I love you.” I, of course, told her I loved, her but it was almost a distracted comment at the time. She knew it would be our last goodbye and last “I love you,” so with the power she had left, she said it with so much passion that it still makes me feel warm today.

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Don’t Take Those You Love For Granted

You will probably notice this throughout your life. A relationship ends and you remember all the reasons you loved them. Your children fly the coup and you fondly remember the house filled with laughter. When you reach the end of your life, you will probably contemplate a lot about people that meant something to you. Every time you have a beautiful memory, it might be tainted with the fact you weren’t really giving that person your full attention. Look into the eyes of the people you love, listen to them, feel their presence in your life. Don’t take one minute of it for granted, as love really is the primary purpose of our existence.

Beat To Your Own Drum

That’s right. Be weird, be silly. Be whatever makes you happy. Date a hippy, date a stock broker. Whatever it is that makes you feel happy, do that. Life should be yours, it should be fulfilling. This is a biggie to prevent regret when you die. Doing what was always a part of your true nature. It may not make you rich or famous, but those things won’t really matter when you live out your personal dreams.

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Do Good Things

Have you ever had the opportunity to be compassionate towards someone and walked away instead? I remember seeing a girl I sort-of knew from high school and she was crying. I really felt compelled to put my arms around her and give her a hug but I was too shy. This happened well over ten years ago and I still remember that moment. I should have tried to make her feel better, let her know that someone cared at that exact moment. Don’t let moments like these pass you by. We were put here to care for one another when necessary.

Do Charitable Deeds

When you are coming to the end of your life, you’ll likely wish you could have done more in this world. There is no truer legacy than leaving others less fortunate with something. Those people will never forget you, and it’s likely you changed their life in bigger ways than you realize. While it’s not about being remembered, it’s in us as humans to reach out to others and be helpful.

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Live YOUR Dreams

This is a big one. In past generations, there was little option to live out your own dreams. Society had a black and white idea on what a man should be and what a woman should be. It’s simply not the case anymore, so cut out the voices from generations before you and really live out your true dreams. No matter how silly or irrational it seems to others, this is your life alone. This brings you immeasurable joy in your life and you likely did it even though you were afraid.

Be Bold

Magic happens out of your comfort zone, and what you desire in life could be challenged by your own fears. My advice is to do the things that you’re afraid to do. Even if there’s no reward at the end of the rainbow, realizing that your fear was unfounded brings boldness. I guess that’s why we feel the adrenaline when we see videos of adrenaline junkies. While I’m not suggesting that you jump out of a plane, face your fears with the same gusto. When you are at the end of your life, that’s one less thing to regret when you die. You confronted what you were most afraid of and you won.

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Loraine Couturier

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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