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7 Things To Remember If You Don’t Want To Die With Any Regrets

7 Things To Remember If You Don’t Want To Die With Any Regrets

There are many statements and pieces of advice that can be said about what it is to live so fully that you won’t have any regret when you die. There is one element that encompasses a full life, and that’s following your truths. It’s being true to yourself about what you want and not deviating from those desires. This is solely what negates the sting of regret. Think hard about these tips so that one day, when it’s time for you to leave this earth, you won’t have any regret when you die.

Don’t Ever Leave Without Saying I Love You

Honestly, this is really important. My mom died last year and I can still feel the amount of love she had for me in her last “I love you.” I, of course, told her I loved, her but it was almost a distracted comment at the time. She knew it would be our last goodbye and last “I love you,” so with the power she had left, she said it with so much passion that it still makes me feel warm today.

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Don’t Take Those You Love For Granted

You will probably notice this throughout your life. A relationship ends and you remember all the reasons you loved them. Your children fly the coup and you fondly remember the house filled with laughter. When you reach the end of your life, you will probably contemplate a lot about people that meant something to you. Every time you have a beautiful memory, it might be tainted with the fact you weren’t really giving that person your full attention. Look into the eyes of the people you love, listen to them, feel their presence in your life. Don’t take one minute of it for granted, as love really is the primary purpose of our existence.

Beat To Your Own Drum

That’s right. Be weird, be silly. Be whatever makes you happy. Date a hippy, date a stock broker. Whatever it is that makes you feel happy, do that. Life should be yours, it should be fulfilling. This is a biggie to prevent regret when you die. Doing what was always a part of your true nature. It may not make you rich or famous, but those things won’t really matter when you live out your personal dreams.

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Do Good Things

Have you ever had the opportunity to be compassionate towards someone and walked away instead? I remember seeing a girl I sort-of knew from high school and she was crying. I really felt compelled to put my arms around her and give her a hug but I was too shy. This happened well over ten years ago and I still remember that moment. I should have tried to make her feel better, let her know that someone cared at that exact moment. Don’t let moments like these pass you by. We were put here to care for one another when necessary.

Do Charitable Deeds

When you are coming to the end of your life, you’ll likely wish you could have done more in this world. There is no truer legacy than leaving others less fortunate with something. Those people will never forget you, and it’s likely you changed their life in bigger ways than you realize. While it’s not about being remembered, it’s in us as humans to reach out to others and be helpful.

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Live YOUR Dreams

This is a big one. In past generations, there was little option to live out your own dreams. Society had a black and white idea on what a man should be and what a woman should be. It’s simply not the case anymore, so cut out the voices from generations before you and really live out your true dreams. No matter how silly or irrational it seems to others, this is your life alone. This brings you immeasurable joy in your life and you likely did it even though you were afraid.

Be Bold

Magic happens out of your comfort zone, and what you desire in life could be challenged by your own fears. My advice is to do the things that you’re afraid to do. Even if there’s no reward at the end of the rainbow, realizing that your fear was unfounded brings boldness. I guess that’s why we feel the adrenaline when we see videos of adrenaline junkies. While I’m not suggesting that you jump out of a plane, face your fears with the same gusto. When you are at the end of your life, that’s one less thing to regret when you die. You confronted what you were most afraid of and you won.

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Loraine Couturier

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Published on October 7, 2019

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.

In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.

Signs of Toxic People

To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.

Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind

Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.

Inhuman And Merciless in Nature

We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.

Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.

Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature

Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.

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Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses

Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.

We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.

Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It

Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.

Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.

Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.

4 Types of Toxic People

To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.

1. Conversational Narcissist

There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.

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2. Emotional Vampires

These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.

3. Monsters with Green eyes

As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.

4. Black-Eyed Cats

These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.

If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.

How to Deal with Toxic People

Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.

However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.

Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement

We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.

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B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.

Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.

You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.

Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons

Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.

If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.

Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps

Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.

Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.

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Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead

Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.

We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.

Don’t Suppress Yourself

Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.

Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.

Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior.[1] If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.

So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.

Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Tips for Grooming: Change Your Fixed Negative Belief

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