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Trust Yourself: Love Will Come Back, When You’re Really Ready

Trust Yourself: Love Will Come Back, When You’re Really Ready

Falling out of love is one of the hardest things we as intelligent humans can go through. When we lose the person we thought we would love forever, we have a hard time imagining ourselves ever feeling love again. It’s important to realize that just because we may never regain the feelings we once had, it does not mean we won’t ever regain the ability to love in some capacity or another. While your life may never be the same after falling out of love, that doesn’t mean it will always be worse.

Love will come back when you’re ready to move forward

Perhaps the most difficult thing to do after losing the one you love is to move on with your life. You’ll feel as if the rug has been pulled out from under you, and will have an incredibly tough time getting back on your feet. But sitting around and wasting time wondering “what might have been” won’t get you anywhere. No matter how hard it may be, it’s imperative that you stand up, dust yourself off, and move forward with your life.

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Just because relationships end, it doesn’t mean they were complete failures. There are always lessons to be learned from your past experiences, no matter how traumatic they may have been. In fact, we should squeeze as many lessons as we can out of these traumatic experiences in order to make them useful somehow. If you don’t learn anything from the loss of a past relationship, you’re going to move forward only to make the same mistakes later on in life.

Love will come back when you change your expectations

I’m sure you already know this, but no relationship you have in the future will be exactly like the one you’ve recently come out of. Even if you happen to reconcile with the same person, things will have changed, and the relationship will be different. This is not necessarily a bad thing.

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Think about what you expected from your last relationship, as well as what your partner expected. Perhaps your expectations of each other were largely what led to your break up. Perhaps one of you expected too much, while the other put in too little effort. Maybe you expected things would always work out. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.

Again, learn from your past experiences with love. Maybe your former partner didn’t give the love you expected. Maybe the next person you meet will. Maybe you’ll never experience the same feelings you felt in your last relationship. Maybe you will. Just don’t expect it, because you’ll spend all your time comparing possible future relationships to your last one; that’ll only guarantee you never feel love again.

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Love will come back when you regain your passion for life

Being in love is great and all, but it’s only one of the literally millions of experiences you can possibly have in life. If you’ve recently had your heart broken, it can be hard to see everything else laid out in front of you, but believe me: it’s there.

Instead of spending all your time missing the way things used to be, create new memories on your own. Do some of the things you’ve always wanted to do. Travel. Learn to cook a new recipe. Check out a museum. Whatever comes to mind, don’t sit around wishing you could do it with the person you used to love; just do it.

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As I’ve said, you’ll never meet someone exactly like your former love, but that’s okay. It wouldn’t be good if you did. But when you start to regain your passion for other parts of life, you’ll put yourself in a position to meet others who share the same interests. Doing the things you love allows you to meet people who may simply become new friends, but you also might meet someone who completely changes your life.

Love will come back when you don’t need it to survive

I don’t want to say that you get “used to” being in love, because when you’re truly in love you cherish every single moment you spend with your significant other. But when you’ve been with someone for quite some time, it’s easy to forget what life was like before you met them. Reclaiming your identity as an individual might be one of the toughest parts of breaking up with a partner. But it needs to be done if you want to move forward with your life.

Not only should you actively reclaim your passion for life after a breakup, but you should also focus on simply living. A lot of people, after a breakup, look for love from anyone they can find because they are afraid they won’t be able to make it on their own. Don’t do this. Not only is it not fair to the other person, but it’s also not fair to yourself.

Have faith that you can live as an individual. If you have to prove it to yourself in some way, do it. Reclaim yourself as an individual before looking for love again. If you’re going to look for it anywhere, start with yourself.

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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