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Trust Yourself: Love Will Come Back, When You’re Really Ready

Trust Yourself: Love Will Come Back, When You’re Really Ready

Falling out of love is one of the hardest things we as intelligent humans can go through. When we lose the person we thought we would love forever, we have a hard time imagining ourselves ever feeling love again. It’s important to realize that just because we may never regain the feelings we once had, it does not mean we won’t ever regain the ability to love in some capacity or another. While your life may never be the same after falling out of love, that doesn’t mean it will always be worse.

Love will come back when you’re ready to move forward

Perhaps the most difficult thing to do after losing the one you love is to move on with your life. You’ll feel as if the rug has been pulled out from under you, and will have an incredibly tough time getting back on your feet. But sitting around and wasting time wondering “what might have been” won’t get you anywhere. No matter how hard it may be, it’s imperative that you stand up, dust yourself off, and move forward with your life.

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Just because relationships end, it doesn’t mean they were complete failures. There are always lessons to be learned from your past experiences, no matter how traumatic they may have been. In fact, we should squeeze as many lessons as we can out of these traumatic experiences in order to make them useful somehow. If you don’t learn anything from the loss of a past relationship, you’re going to move forward only to make the same mistakes later on in life.

Love will come back when you change your expectations

I’m sure you already know this, but no relationship you have in the future will be exactly like the one you’ve recently come out of. Even if you happen to reconcile with the same person, things will have changed, and the relationship will be different. This is not necessarily a bad thing.

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Think about what you expected from your last relationship, as well as what your partner expected. Perhaps your expectations of each other were largely what led to your break up. Perhaps one of you expected too much, while the other put in too little effort. Maybe you expected things would always work out. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.

Again, learn from your past experiences with love. Maybe your former partner didn’t give the love you expected. Maybe the next person you meet will. Maybe you’ll never experience the same feelings you felt in your last relationship. Maybe you will. Just don’t expect it, because you’ll spend all your time comparing possible future relationships to your last one; that’ll only guarantee you never feel love again.

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Love will come back when you regain your passion for life

Being in love is great and all, but it’s only one of the literally millions of experiences you can possibly have in life. If you’ve recently had your heart broken, it can be hard to see everything else laid out in front of you, but believe me: it’s there.

Instead of spending all your time missing the way things used to be, create new memories on your own. Do some of the things you’ve always wanted to do. Travel. Learn to cook a new recipe. Check out a museum. Whatever comes to mind, don’t sit around wishing you could do it with the person you used to love; just do it.

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As I’ve said, you’ll never meet someone exactly like your former love, but that’s okay. It wouldn’t be good if you did. But when you start to regain your passion for other parts of life, you’ll put yourself in a position to meet others who share the same interests. Doing the things you love allows you to meet people who may simply become new friends, but you also might meet someone who completely changes your life.

Love will come back when you don’t need it to survive

I don’t want to say that you get “used to” being in love, because when you’re truly in love you cherish every single moment you spend with your significant other. But when you’ve been with someone for quite some time, it’s easy to forget what life was like before you met them. Reclaiming your identity as an individual might be one of the toughest parts of breaking up with a partner. But it needs to be done if you want to move forward with your life.

Not only should you actively reclaim your passion for life after a breakup, but you should also focus on simply living. A lot of people, after a breakup, look for love from anyone they can find because they are afraid they won’t be able to make it on their own. Don’t do this. Not only is it not fair to the other person, but it’s also not fair to yourself.

Have faith that you can live as an individual. If you have to prove it to yourself in some way, do it. Reclaim yourself as an individual before looking for love again. If you’re going to look for it anywhere, start with yourself.

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Last Updated on June 3, 2020

19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

What is success?

Is it wealth? Is it happiness? Is it fame?

The late Zig Ziglar was one of the most respected modern day experts on success, motivation, and leading a balanced life. In his book Born to Win!, he argues that success cannot be defined in one sentence, but instead it is comprised of many things. One could argue that the definition depends on the individual and that one size does not fit all[1].

Here are 19 different definitions of success. Not all of these will resonate with you, but chances are at least a few of them will. Use these or find inspiration here to create your own definition of success that can be applied to your unique life.

1. Success is always doing your best.

Success can be achieved when you try your best in all aspects of everything you do, even if that doesn’t lead to big results. If you’ve done your best, you should feel proud of your efforts.

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2. Success is properly setting concrete goals.

Be realistic and concrete when setting goals. Success does not come from setting abstract goals. If you know where you’re heading, that is a success in itself, even if you don’t ultimately arrive to the planned destination.

3. Success is having a place to call home.

Home is where your heart soars. You are always successful when you can call a place home. Home doesn’t have to be a specific structure. It can be a country, a city, or even a person. If you have a place you feel comfortable and safe, you’re already achieving something great.

4. Success is understanding the difference between need and want.

If you can meet your monthly obligations and fulfill your basic needs, you are successful. Being able to identify when you absolutely need something and when you can do without it often leads to financial stability and is a great way to succeed.

5. Success is believing you can.

If you believe you can, you will succeed. Self-belief doesn’t come naturally to everyone, so if you’re able to tell yourself that you can achieve the goals in your plans, you’re doing great.

6. Success is remembering to balance work with passion.

Work without passion creates undue stress and empty achievements. Focus on what excites you. If you’re happy at your job, that’s great. However, even if you aren’t, you can balance your formal job with hobbies or volunteer work you’re passionate about.

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7. Success is taking care of your needs.

Remember to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Self-care is essential if you want to have any meaningful impact on the world around you.

8. Success is learning that you sometimes have to say no.

Success only comes with a balanced life. Part of balance is learning to say no. Saying no doesn’t mean you are selfish; it simply means you have priorities and know what you need to give your attention to at any given time.

9. Success is knowing your life is filled with abundance.

Love, health, friends, family…life is filled with abundance. Recognizing this is an important step to feeling grateful for all life has given you. If you can feel this, you are already experiencing success.

10. Success is understanding you cannot keep what you don’t give away.

You will only succeed if you help others succeed. Learning to give instead of always take is part of creating a world we all want to live in. When you help others, you will also create an environment where others want to help you.

11. Success is overcoming fear.

Conquering a fear makes you feel invincible. Even if it’s confronting just one small fear each week, that is certainly something to feel proud of. The bigger fears will take more time, but any work you do to overcome fear will lead to success.

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12. Success is learning something new each day.

Successful people understand that learning never stops. Take time each day to converse with someone with opposing views, read an interesting article on a topic you know little about, or watch a TED talk on new research. It doesn’t take long to learn, so get started now.

13. Success is learning that losing a few battles can help you win a war.

Successful people choose their battles wisely. When you know which battles will ultimately help you achieve your goals, you will be successful.

14. Success is loving and being loved back.

Opening your heart to others is difficult and can produce fear. Having the courage to love and accept love from others is a step toward a fulfilling life and great success.

15. Success is standing your ground when you believe in something.

Successful people never give up on things they believe with all their heart. You may hold views that many people disagree with, but if you’ve done your research and know that it’s the right belief for you, you shouldn’t let it go without a fight.

16. Success is not giving up.

Perseverance creates grit, and grit achieves success. Even if it takes years to achieve a goal, persisting is key if you want success.

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17. Success is celebrating small victories.

Anytime a goal is reached or an obstacle is overcome, take time to celebrate, even if it’s something small. All goals require smaller objectives to be achieved first, so each time you complete one, take time to appreciate the work you put into it.

18. Success is never letting a disability hold you back.

Disabilities do not define a person’s success. The body and mind will compensate. Just because you can’t do absolutely everything doesn’t mean you can’t do something. Do what your body and mind allow and always push yourself. That is true success.

19. Success is understanding that you control your destiny.

Your destiny is controlled by you and you alone. Take responsibility for your actions and their consequences and you’ll find that you naturally become more successful.

The Bottom Line

Success can be defined in many ways. If you are experiencing happiness, love, or adventure in this moment, you’ve already found success. Keep it up.

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Featured photo credit: Dino Reichmuth via unsplash.com

Reference

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