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Do These 10 Things Everyday To Gradually Become Mentally Stronger

Do These 10 Things Everyday To Gradually Become Mentally Stronger

To continue to be mentally strong in today’s society is a challenge in itself. We all carry emotional scars and if they’re not healed we can inflict our insecurities, biases, frustration and pain onto others. However, everyone has the potential to heal, change and become better than they were. Although, it will take a lot of work on your part.

In order to be mentally stronger every day, there are a few things you should incorporate in your daily agenda.

1. Be thankful and show gratitude

I like to start my day off with being thankful. I wake up and I say a few word of thanks to my creator for the simple things in life. It doesn’t matter if you have a religion or not, you can still be thankful for things that you have in your life. Why wait till Thanksgiving every year to be thankful? There are so many things to be thankful for every day.

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Every day you wake up gives you a new day to start over and claim the life you desire and deserve. It’s important for you to learn to be thankful, in order for you to become mentally stronger daily. Life will deal you some hard times but in order for you to champion through it, you must learn to be thankful for the little things in life. It’s like looking at the glass and feeling that it is half full: be optimistic. Showing gratitude to others is about showing some form of appreciation. You can say your grateful but showing someone you are grateful can go a really long way. For example, why do you think it is suggested to send a thank you card after an interview? This is because as a visual element it sticks a little bit better in the mind than quick fleeting words of thanks. It doesn’t mean that the person expects something in return when they do something, sometimes it just lifts your spirits to know you are appreciated. A simple handmade card or letter with genuinely expressed gratitude, detailing why you are grateful, could make a huge impact.

2. Meditate

Yes, I know! You have probably heard about meditating a million times by now. Meditation is said to improve focus, mental clarity and reduce or eliminate stress. That is how meditation can make you mentally stronger every day. It can also give you peace, which I feel is desperately needed in today’s society. As a beginner, you will possibly notice how busy your mind is zipping about with your to-do lists, ideas, worries and more. Don’t worry, over time your mind will quite down with continued practice.

3. Exercise

Release those endorphins. That’s right! Working out is, of course, important to be mentally stronger every day. You can pick the fitness activity of your choice soccer, hiking, skating, tennis, or whatever you choose. I would encourage you to make it fun and include someone as your workout partner if you don’t prefer to exercise alone.

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4. Eat healthy

Fueling your cells with the proper energy (healthy food) is vital for being mentally stronger every day. I’m aware that some of you out there may not like fruits or vegetables. However, can you truly say you have tried every fruit or vegetable? Probably not! There are so many different types of fruits and veggies and they can be prepared in so many different ways. Every fruit and vegetable has its own unique nutritious purpose that it can provide to our bodies. I think it’s worth the effort to try to find some creative ways to cook or juice them to your desired taste. If you have a special diet where you don’t eat certain foods or drinks make sure you are not missing out on nutrition through finding other healthy sources for what you need. Whole wheat, vegetables, fruit, grains, nuts, and legumes are some of the things you could incorporate into your diet.

5. Create a Healthy Environment

In order for you to be mentally stronger every day your environment needs to be a healthy one. If your environment lacks structure or organization it can affect your mental strength. You can become quite overwhelmed when your home and bedroom area lacks organization. Create an environment that relaxes you and makes you happy, and include plants for healthy filtered air inside your home. Decorate your bedroom or home with things that will make you feel relaxed, comfortable and happy when you look around.

6. Smile and Show Compassion

You never know what the power of a smile can do for someone. In life, we pass each other and never really know the burdens or struggles life is dealing others and ourselves from moment to moment. It helps to smile and show a little compassion towards others, you may need it yourself one day later in life. When you’re going through something it’s good to smile your way through it and force yourself to think of anything positive that could come from the situation. To be a mentally stronger person every day make smiling, laughter (not at someone else’s expense), joy, and compassion a part of your daily life.

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7. Take Responsibility

Take responsibility for your actions, apologize (genuinely) and move on (even if society does not). Being in denial or lying can hold you back from growing stronger mentally every day. It can also destroy relationships with business partners, friends, family, and spouses.

8. Write in a Journal Daily

Writing in a journal daily is also a way to help you become mentally stronger every day. Journal writing allows you to reflect on your activities for the day. It can include what you have experienced, your feelings, concerns or anything you wish. It could be therapeutic, sometimes we hold our feelings inside and that is not healthy. I use my journal to write daily what I am thankful for, things I achieved that day and other topics. Journals can allow you to see your development over a period of time as a person and appreciate your journey.

9. Power Off Before Bed

In today’s society, some of us are glued to our phones, computers, and other devices. Before you go to sleep you should power them off. Your bedroom should be for sleeping, but so many of us turn our beds into an office. We do this by using our laptops in our bed and taking business calls from our bed at night as well. I understand that with some professions you are always on call. However, your sleep time is precious and your body needs it in order to replenish its own power. Powering off your devices will help you be mentally stronger every day.

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10. Know Yourself and Be a Better Version of Yourself

You are not very likely to be a mentally stronger person if you live your life trying to imitate or be someone else. We are all made different and have different journeys for a reason. The sooner you discover the gifts and beauty you were created to offer the world, the more beautiful you will be to the world because you will be more confident and happy.

Plus, it is really unhealthy to live your life and model it obsessively after someone else; it may create envy and jealousy within you towards that person. So if you find yourself constantly thinking about what someone else has and what you don’t, you should evaluate why it matters so much to you. Are you possibly insecure? Everybody has problems, even the Joneses, so why would you try to keep up with them? Get to know yourself and become a better version of yourself, it will make you mentally stronger every day.

Featured photo credit: Man Celebrating Freedom In nature With Glacier/Dan cooper via imcreator.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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