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12 Reasons You Shouldn’t Be Too Serious About Love In Your 20s

12 Reasons You Shouldn’t Be Too Serious About Love In Your 20s

Your twenties are meant to be one of the most exciting decades of your life. Above all, it is a time to learn. It is supposed to be an incredible time characterized by self-discovery and experimentation. It is not a time to limit yourself by rushing to serious decisions that could impact the rest of your life. More specifically, it is not a time to focus on love or finding “the one”.

With the case of love, your twenties should be a time to explore both yourself and your preferences in specific types of partners. Ultimately, your twenties are a period of immense trial and error. Your twenties are a key stage that prepare you for your 30’s and 40’s, the time when you are mature enough to truly prosper.

Here are 12 reasons why you shouldn’t be too serious about love in your 20’s:

1. Love requires patience. This comes after your twenties

In your twenties, you have all the time in the world. However, one thing all young adults seem to lack in their twenties is patience. It’s a product of growing up in the Information Age. We don’t want to wait. We want it right now.

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Unfortunately, love doesn’t work this way. It takes time for a relationship to grow and for chemistry to develop. Love is all about mutual growth and chemistry. The only way you can experience this is through patience.

2. Love requires dedication

When you seriously love someone, you need to be all in. This requires responsibility and dedication for both partners. If we’re being honest here, your twenties are a time for you to have fun and explore.

Who wants to cut the fun in their twenties short? Some people do that and often find themselves unhappy and wondering “what if”.

3. Love often finds you

They say that love tends to come from unexpected places. If this is the case, why not just live life to the fullest and worry about love later?

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4. Love materializes when you are ready

We’ve already established that love requires patience and dedication. We’ve also established that these often develop after your twenties. Therefore, it’s safe to say that you are simply not ready for love in your twenties. Be patient it will find you when it finds you.

5. Your twenties are a time to find yourself

Living life to the fullest and learning as much as possible requires an enormous commitment to yourself. Quite frankly, you need to be selfish if you want to find yourself. This is an enormous trade off because selfishness has no place in the dynamic of love. You and your partner must be selfless.

6. Your twenties are a time to explore

How can you know if your partner is what’s best for you if you settled down with them too soon? You can’t. If you choose to take love too seriously and settle down with one partner in your twenties, you are essentially rolling the dice. Maybe your partner is a great match. But maybe not.

Why not spend time exploring and wait so that you can make better long-term decisions on your love life a few years down the road?

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7. Your twenties are a time to go all out and live life to the fullest

Your twenties are a time when your youthful energy and health are at an all time high. This is the time to live it up. Try new things. Be adventurous. Go out and see the world. This is the time to do it. You don’t want to become another one of those stories of someone who wakes up at age 35 and realizes that they settled down too soon.

8. Love requires time

You are supposed to be living your life in your twenties. There simply isn’t time to fully dedicate yourself to someone if you are busy seeing the world and doing the things you want to do. For instance, how can you build a relationship if you want to take time to find yourself and also travel the world? You can’t.

9. Love is serious business

Love is a serious thing. However, your twenties are a time to let loose and have fun. The time to make serious love decisions should be saved for when you are fully matured. For instance, would it be fair to have someone commit to you if you yourself were not all in? No, it would not be fair.

10. You will be “better” later on in life

All of the experiences and self-discovery during your twenties will pay off because they will translate in to a better individual in later decades. You will be more experienced because you will be seasoned by life.

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Ultimately, you will be better and will truly be able to offer something special to that lucky someone.

11. If you take the time to enjoy your twenties, you will be more stable later on in life

Let’s compare two people. Person A lived life to the fullest in their twenties. Eventually, they settled down with someone in their thirties. Person B decided to settle down with someone right away. We can probably assume that Person A is satisfied because they see themselves as having lived a full life and are stable. In contrast, we can probably assume that Person B might have some questions might still have that desire to go out and see the world.

12. Life is not a sprint. It’s a marathon

You should not be in any rush to go through the various stages in life, especially love. You will meet someone when you are ready and this often means when you are at your best and are on your life’s path.

Featured photo credit: Rose/podmorelarry via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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