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You Can Understand Yourself From These 8 Kinds Of Relationships

You Can Understand Yourself From These 8 Kinds Of Relationships

Life is confusing and messy and sometimes you just feel lost in all the mess and confusion. When this happens, it’s hard to remember who you are,how you got where you are now, what you want and what to do next. Examining the eight kinds of relationships discussed in this article can give you a great place to start in finding yourself again so that you know who you are,what you want and where you want your life to go.

Your relationship with yourself

Man Using Perspective To Stand On Top Of Beer Can

    How are you doing your relationship with yourself? You teach people how to treat you by the way you treat yourself. It is important that you get into a great relationship with yourself so that you know who you are and what you stand for. When you have a good relationship with yourself you know your strengths and also your weaknesses. You know your likes, your dislikes, your hobbies, interests and passions and create time for them. You embrace who you are fully and learn how to love yourself unconditionally so that you give yourself permission to be you and do what is right for you. Because after all is said and done, no one will love you and value you more than you value yourself.

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    Your relationship with your family

    Grandmaother And Childs Hands About To Touch

      When my son was born, I was scared that I would have to transition into motherhood alone with little or no support. But my family turned out to be my biggest support system. My sister flew across the world to spend two weeks with me and the newborn baby. My mother and the rest of my family all showed their love and support by calling and checking in on me constantly because they could not be there to physically take care of me. I was surrounded by so much love which reminded me that I was special, loved and that I mattered. Sometimes when you’re feeling lost, all you need is to surround  yourself with family and people who love you for who you are so that you are reminded of your value and worth in this world.

      Your relationship with money

      We all have a unique relationship with money. You may ignore it, abuse it, deny that your relationship exists but you are still involved. Your involvement in your relationship with money occurs with every decision you make that money plays a role. You are either in control of your money or your money controls you. Examining your relationship with money can give you and others insight into who you are because how you handle your money is a clear reflection of who you are. Because you can’t have everything you want all at once, you have to pick and choose what you spend your money on and you will always pick what you feel is important and valuable to you. Looking at how you spend and handle money can tell you who you are and what is really important to you.

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      Your relationship with the past

      There are many ways our past determines our present and it is easy to fall in the trap of living in the past. Spending time thinking about the past and wishing things would have been different or better does no one any good. The past is gone and done with. You can’t change it. Continuing to have a relationship with what is already done prevents you from moving forward and enjoying the present. Looking at your past experiences and learning from them without judgement and shame can help you understand who you are and why you do things the way you do them.

      Your romantic relationships

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        Romantically, we tend to attract people who share similar values and interests. By looking at your past and present romantic relationships, you can gain some knowledge about who you are by looking at the type of partner and romantic interests you attract.

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        Your relationship with your friends

        Show me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are. Like attracts like and your friends are a great indication of the type of person you are.

        Your relationship with the present

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          You are who you are now, not who you were five years ago or who you wish you could be. Being able to enjoy what is happening in your life in the presents makes your life more enjoyable and meaningful. That tells you and other people the kind of person you are,one who is living life to the fullest.

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          Your relationship with the future

          You may not like your past or present situation but you have the opportunity to change what your future looks like. How do you want the future to be? Who do you want to be? Knowing what you want your life to look like in the future allows you to start preparing yourself and working towards becoming the person you want to be. Having a relationship with the future does not mean obsessing and stressing about what you want to happen, but being a co-creator in how your future turns out.

          Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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          Last Updated on August 4, 2020

          The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

          The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

          No!

          It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

          But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

          What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

          But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to master the Gentle Art of Saying No:

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          1. Value Your Time

          Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”

          2. Know Your Priorities

          Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

          For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.

          3. Practice Saying No

          Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

          4. Don’t Apologize

          A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.

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          5. Stop Being Nice

          Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets.

          Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

          6. Say No to Your Boss

          Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no,” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning.

          But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

          7. Pre-Empting

          It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

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          “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

          8. Get Back to You

          Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them:

          “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

          At least you gave it some consideration.

          9. Maybe Later

          If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

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          “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

          Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.

          10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

          This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

          Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

          More Tips for a Less Stressful Life

          Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

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