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You Can Understand Yourself From These 8 Kinds Of Relationships

You Can Understand Yourself From These 8 Kinds Of Relationships

Life is confusing and messy and sometimes you just feel lost in all the mess and confusion. When this happens, it’s hard to remember who you are,how you got where you are now, what you want and what to do next. Examining the eight kinds of relationships discussed in this article can give you a great place to start in finding yourself again so that you know who you are,what you want and where you want your life to go.

Your relationship with yourself

Man Using Perspective To Stand On Top Of Beer Can

    How are you doing your relationship with yourself? You teach people how to treat you by the way you treat yourself. It is important that you get into a great relationship with yourself so that you know who you are and what you stand for. When you have a good relationship with yourself you know your strengths and also your weaknesses. You know your likes, your dislikes, your hobbies, interests and passions and create time for them. You embrace who you are fully and learn how to love yourself unconditionally so that you give yourself permission to be you and do what is right for you. Because after all is said and done, no one will love you and value you more than you value yourself.

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    Your relationship with your family

    Grandmaother And Childs Hands About To Touch

      When my son was born, I was scared that I would have to transition into motherhood alone with little or no support. But my family turned out to be my biggest support system. My sister flew across the world to spend two weeks with me and the newborn baby. My mother and the rest of my family all showed their love and support by calling and checking in on me constantly because they could not be there to physically take care of me. I was surrounded by so much love which reminded me that I was special, loved and that I mattered. Sometimes when you’re feeling lost, all you need is to surround  yourself with family and people who love you for who you are so that you are reminded of your value and worth in this world.

      Your relationship with money

      We all have a unique relationship with money. You may ignore it, abuse it, deny that your relationship exists but you are still involved. Your involvement in your relationship with money occurs with every decision you make that money plays a role. You are either in control of your money or your money controls you. Examining your relationship with money can give you and others insight into who you are because how you handle your money is a clear reflection of who you are. Because you can’t have everything you want all at once, you have to pick and choose what you spend your money on and you will always pick what you feel is important and valuable to you. Looking at how you spend and handle money can tell you who you are and what is really important to you.

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      Your relationship with the past

      There are many ways our past determines our present and it is easy to fall in the trap of living in the past. Spending time thinking about the past and wishing things would have been different or better does no one any good. The past is gone and done with. You can’t change it. Continuing to have a relationship with what is already done prevents you from moving forward and enjoying the present. Looking at your past experiences and learning from them without judgement and shame can help you understand who you are and why you do things the way you do them.

      Your romantic relationships

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        Romantically, we tend to attract people who share similar values and interests. By looking at your past and present romantic relationships, you can gain some knowledge about who you are by looking at the type of partner and romantic interests you attract.

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        Your relationship with your friends

        Show me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are. Like attracts like and your friends are a great indication of the type of person you are.

        Your relationship with the present

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          You are who you are now, not who you were five years ago or who you wish you could be. Being able to enjoy what is happening in your life in the presents makes your life more enjoyable and meaningful. That tells you and other people the kind of person you are,one who is living life to the fullest.

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          Your relationship with the future

          You may not like your past or present situation but you have the opportunity to change what your future looks like. How do you want the future to be? Who do you want to be? Knowing what you want your life to look like in the future allows you to start preparing yourself and working towards becoming the person you want to be. Having a relationship with the future does not mean obsessing and stressing about what you want to happen, but being a co-creator in how your future turns out.

          Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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          Last Updated on June 19, 2019

          6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

          6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

          I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

          Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

          It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

          1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

          It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

          Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

          When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

          2. Trust the Muse

          Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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          When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

          “The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

          The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

          If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

          The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

          Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

          3. Remember to Be Authentic

          Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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          How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

          For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

          One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

          Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

          Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

          4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

          I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

          One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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          Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

          A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

          Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

          5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

          It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

          We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

          If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

          You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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          6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

          As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

          The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

          Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

          Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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          Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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