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11 Traits Resilient People Use To Reach Their Goals

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11 Traits Resilient People Use To Reach Their Goals

Being resilient is one of the most important qualities that leads to success. The definition of resilient is being able to become strong, healthy or successful again after something bad has happened.

Resiliency is a mindset and one that you thoughtfully choose each day. It requires that you have great focus, determination and dedication. A great willingness and need to experience joy in your life once again. You know that you will succeed. You believe this with your whole being. There is nothing more important to success in life than being resilient. You understand this with your heart and soul.

1. They will always display mastery over their emotions

Resilient people feel strong emotions just like everyone else, but they will always take a moment or two and take a breath. They make a conscious decision to either allow this emotion to push them forward towards their goals or to allow the emotion to just blow over. This is a decision that they make with great thought and care.

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2. They consistently exhibit behavior that is in sync with what they say

Resilient people will say they are going to do something and they do it, every single time. This is because their word is everything to them. They can always rely upon themselves, they know this and this is why they are resilient.

3. They are always ready for the future

Resilient people are dedicated to developing their skills. They live their lives as though the world is their classroom and it is qualifying them for their next challenge. Because of this, they are always prepared and they can accommodate quickly if needed.

4. They welcome failure and learn from it

Resilient people don’t have a fondness for failure, but they don’t run from it either. Quite the opposite, they understand that failure is there to teach them what works in life and what doesn’t. It is nothing to be feared, but something to welcome with an open mind and a willingness to learn from.

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5. They are pragmatic

Resilient people are realistic. They understand and accept that nothing is guaranteed in life; employment, information, relationships, health and definitely not their future. They have no fantasy of security and will always take action no matter what.

6. They take criticism with a grain of salt

Resilient people listen attentively to criticism, then they decide if it is credible and if it is, they will take the necessary actions.

7. They focus on their process, understanding what their goals are and keeping them in sight

Resilient people are completely focused on their goals, but they stay grounded and in control. They are in the moment and this enables them to adapt and overcome difficulties.

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8. They recognize the value of strong and meaningful relationships

Resilient people know that the support of their family and friends is essential in living a powerful life and in turn, they can always be counted on to support their loved ones.

9. They pat themselves on the back for each triumph they experience

Resilient people value themselves. They are delighted by all their accomplishments, no matter how modest. They celebrate every achievement towards their goals.

10. They know that their reserves are unlimited

Resilient people are always capable of doing what is required, even when they should not be. No matter what, they consistently discover that extra strength within them. It is just who they are.

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11. They know their boundaries

Resilient people understand that there is a separation of who they are at their core and the cause of their momentary misfortune. The stress or trauma that is playing a part in their immediate life, will not overtake their permanent identity. They know that the clouds will eventually lift and the sun will come out.

Featured photo credit: shutterstock_221702965 via media.lifehack.org

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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