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7 Things Mentally Strong People Refuse to Do

7 Things Mentally Strong People Refuse to Do

Being mentally strong can have profound effects on your entire life. When you are mentally strong, you are able to persevere during tough times, and continue to press ahead when you are succeeding.

Here are 7 things mentally strong people refuse to do. When you work on getting rid of these destructive, self-sabotaging habits, you’ll be amazed at the positive effects in your life.

1. They don’t always say that everything’s fine.

The mentally strong admit to themselves when they’re not fine. They realize this is the first step to making changes.

If you haven’t seen Mel Robbins’ TED talk “How to stop screwing yourself over”, check it out here. In her talk, Mel describes the big issue she has with people saying they are “fine.” The problem, she says, is that you say it to yourself. She says “That thing that you want, I guarantee you, you’ve convinced yourself that you’re fine not having it. That’s why you’re not pushing yourself. It’s the areas in your life where you’ve given up.”

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When you feel dissatisfied and stuck in your life, be strong enough to admit to yourself you’re not fine and take action to change your situation.

2. They don’t stay stuck in their comfort zone.

The mentally strong know that growth occurs outside of their comfort zone. Even though it’s intimidating to get out and try new and different things, they understand the Neale Donald Walsch quote that says: “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

The mentally strong make a point to regularly stretch themselves, embrace new challenges, and force themselves to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

3. They don’t expect immediate success.

The mentally strong realize that progress takes time. When they set out to make changes in their lives, they prepare for the long haul. They don’t expect drastic results immediately.

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4. They don’t give up easily.

The mentally strong persevere in many areas of life.

Perseverance is defined by Merriam-Webster as the quality that allows someone to continue trying to do something even though it is difficult. Steve Jobs mentioned the importance of persevering as an entrepreneur when he said, “I’m convinced that about half of what separates the successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance.”

Whether it’s in their business ventures or during difficult times in their personal lives, the mentally strong press on through their trials.

5. They don’t say yes to everything.

The mentally strong practice saying no at times. They say no to toxic friendships. They refuse to let others “guilt trip” them into doing things. They say no to being involved in committees or events they really can’t stand. They have the strength to stay true to their priorities and values.

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6. They don’t avoid being vulnerable.

The mentally strong allow themselves to be vulnerable; in fact, they embrace it.

Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, gave a powerful speech on the power of vulnerability. She describes the importance of letting ourselves be deeply seen and loving with our whole hearts — even though there’s no guarantee.

The mentally strong let themselves love wholeheartedly and be vulnerable.

7. They don’t spend their time being envious.

The mentally strong don’t waste their time being envious of people they feel are doing ‘better’ in life than they are. They realize being envious will get them nowhere.

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Instead, they choose to focus their time and energy on studying the habits of people they want to emulate. They routinely learn from others who are doing what they want to do. They understand the value in learning from the experts. Instead of sitting back and feeding their jealousy, they take actions to improve their lives.

Featured photo credit: Dark muscle woman/Rikard Elofsson via flickr.com

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Dr. Kerry Petsinger

Entrepreneur, Mindset & Performance Coach, & Doctor of Physical Therapy

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Last Updated on June 19, 2019

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

2. Trust the Muse

Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

“The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

3. Remember to Be Authentic

Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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