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What I Realize As I’m Turning Thirty

What I Realize As I’m Turning Thirty

Being on the brink of thirty is an exciting and nerve-wracking situation to be in all at once. Behind you are your carefree twenties where you accumulated numerous life lessons, but ahead of you is the seriousness of your thirties, a time when frequent trial and error is often frowned upon. People say age is just a number, but when you are entering a new decade of your life it is hard to just brush it off and not be affected by societal expectations. The exciting thing about turning thirty is that you know that you will only continue to get wiser as you age and that the life lessons you accumulated in your twenties will only continue through your thirties and beyond. Here’s some realizations I have made throughout the last decade.

Obtaining mental clarity is just as important as physical fitness

There is a lot of emphasis on the importance of staying physically fit through your twenties to prevent age-related diseases later. It turns out that maintaining your mental health is just as important as physical health and that the two are deeply intertwined. Learning to meditate or going to classes for restorative yoga has not only helped me fix a bad mood, but regular practice will hopefully allow me a lifetime of mindfulness that will help combat any stressful situations that are bound to arise.

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Try not to worry what others are thinking

Being self-conscious about every single thing was something that often plagued me in my twenties. If I did something that was slightly embarrassing, I would be mortified the rest of the day. The things is people often are caught up in their own worlds and do not remember that you said something slightly awkward or tripped down the stairs in front of your entire office. I realize that the sooner you are able to move on, the more time you will be able to focus on the present, instead of the past.

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Comparing yourself to others is truly the thief of joy

It is hard not to get caught up comparing yourself to your peers. I would easily get down on myself by scrolling through Facebook and realizing that someone had just landed their dream job or had an enviable social life. It was easy to throw myself a pity party, but in reality it was just a giant waste of my time. Often things are not what they seem (especially on social media) and I have slowly learned that it is detrimental to compare myself to an illusion. It is important to not take your own life for granted and strive towards what truly brings you happiness. I also realized that despite societal expectations, everyone life moves at a different pace and this is the beauty of being human.

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Being successful is a mindset

One of the most important things that I have learned in my twenties is that to be successful in any area of your life simply comes down to perseverance (along with being at the right place at the right time). I often searched for a shortcut to reach my goals, whether they were personal or professional, but I realized that this way does not exist. To achieve something takes a lot of time and most importantly a constant belief in your abilities. I have always dreamed of having a writing career, but it has only been recently after many detours throughout the last decade that I am slowly making this a reality and turning each setback into a lesson. It is also important to define what your personal idea of success is, since it is different for everyone.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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