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What I Realize As I’m Turning Thirty

What I Realize As I’m Turning Thirty

Being on the brink of thirty is an exciting and nerve-wracking situation to be in all at once. Behind you are your carefree twenties where you accumulated numerous life lessons, but ahead of you is the seriousness of your thirties, a time when frequent trial and error is often frowned upon. People say age is just a number, but when you are entering a new decade of your life it is hard to just brush it off and not be affected by societal expectations. The exciting thing about turning thirty is that you know that you will only continue to get wiser as you age and that the life lessons you accumulated in your twenties will only continue through your thirties and beyond. Here’s some realizations I have made throughout the last decade.

Obtaining mental clarity is just as important as physical fitness

There is a lot of emphasis on the importance of staying physically fit through your twenties to prevent age-related diseases later. It turns out that maintaining your mental health is just as important as physical health and that the two are deeply intertwined. Learning to meditate or going to classes for restorative yoga has not only helped me fix a bad mood, but regular practice will hopefully allow me a lifetime of mindfulness that will help combat any stressful situations that are bound to arise.

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Try not to worry what others are thinking

Being self-conscious about every single thing was something that often plagued me in my twenties. If I did something that was slightly embarrassing, I would be mortified the rest of the day. The things is people often are caught up in their own worlds and do not remember that you said something slightly awkward or tripped down the stairs in front of your entire office. I realize that the sooner you are able to move on, the more time you will be able to focus on the present, instead of the past.

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Comparing yourself to others is truly the thief of joy

It is hard not to get caught up comparing yourself to your peers. I would easily get down on myself by scrolling through Facebook and realizing that someone had just landed their dream job or had an enviable social life. It was easy to throw myself a pity party, but in reality it was just a giant waste of my time. Often things are not what they seem (especially on social media) and I have slowly learned that it is detrimental to compare myself to an illusion. It is important to not take your own life for granted and strive towards what truly brings you happiness. I also realized that despite societal expectations, everyone life moves at a different pace and this is the beauty of being human.

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Being successful is a mindset

One of the most important things that I have learned in my twenties is that to be successful in any area of your life simply comes down to perseverance (along with being at the right place at the right time). I often searched for a shortcut to reach my goals, whether they were personal or professional, but I realized that this way does not exist. To achieve something takes a lot of time and most importantly a constant belief in your abilities. I have always dreamed of having a writing career, but it has only been recently after many detours throughout the last decade that I am slowly making this a reality and turning each setback into a lesson. It is also important to define what your personal idea of success is, since it is different for everyone.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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