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10 Photos That Will Recall Those Precious Moments Between Mother and Daughter

10 Photos That Will Recall Those Precious Moments Between Mother and Daughter

“A daughter is a mother’s gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self. And mothers are their daughters’ role model, their biological and emotional road map, the arbiter of all their relationships.”
–Victoria Secunda

The relationship between mother and daughter is one of the most complex and emotionally intense of them all. From my own experience, I know this relationship can be exhausting and challenging, yet filled with very loving moments. My relationship with my daughter often confuses my husband and my son — and I must admit, at times I too am confused by it.

I look at some mothers who are best friends with their daughters and I wonder how they manage to have that type of relationship. I look at my daughter at 20 years of age and I see me. Then, I remember my relationship with my own mother. We didn’t become best friends until I grew up. In my late 20s, I finally realised that my mother was the only person who truly understood me. She knew what I was thinking and feeling just by hearing my voice or by looking at me. Although my mother died 10 years ago, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her.

The 10 photos below (accompanied by some fantastic quotes) describe the sadness, anger, pain, unconditional love, as well as the fun and happy moments present in one of the most complex and loving relationships in existence — that between mother and daughter.

1.  Naomi Wolf

“A mother who radiates self-love and self acceptance actually vaccinates her daughter against low self-esteem.”

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    2. Julie Walters

    “I keep seeing myself in my daughter, and I see my mother in me and her. Bloody hell.”

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      3.Catherine Pulsifer

      “Who has the tenderness of a mother?
      Who has the wisdom of a schoolteacher?
      Who has the tricks of the magician?
      Who has the ability to see the world through a child’s eye?
      Who has the stories about Mum and Dad?
      Who has always loved me no matter what I do?
      Who has the songs to sing to me when I am blue?
      Of course, it is my Grandma,
      And I love you and you blessed my life!”

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        4.  UNKNOWN

        “On your wedding day I pray that every ounce of joy that you have given me to me as your mother is returned to you a hundredfold. Only then will you have a glimpse of the love I have for you.”

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          5. Paula Poundstone

          “When Mom said she learned how to swim, someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That’s how she learned to swim. I said, “Mum, they weren’t teaching you how to swim.”

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            6.TERRY APTER

            “When a mother quarrels with a daughter, she has a double dose of unhappiness, hers from the conflict, and empathy with her daughter’s from the conflict with her. Throughout her life a mother retains this special need to maintain a good relationship with her daughter.”

            Mother and teen daughter back to back, fighting

              7.Agatha Christie

              “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”

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                8.   Hope Edelman

                “There is an emptiness inside of me — a void that will never be filled. No one in your life will ever love you as your mother does. There is no love as pure, unconditional and strong as a mother’s love. And I will never be loved that way again.”

                girl green eyes beauty crying rawstory.com rape at BJU thinkstock shutterstock_100219142_crop

                  9.     Maya Angelou

                  “I will look after you and I will look after anybody you say needs to be looked after, any way you say. I am here. I brought my whole self to you. I am your mother.”

                  Depression daughter hugging her mother with sad face. Closeup portrait black and white

                    10.  Anita Diamant

                    “If you want to understand any woman, you must ask about her mother and then listen carefully. Stories about food show strong connections. Wistful silences demonstrate unfinished business. The more a daughter knows about the details of her mother’s life — without flinching or whining — the stronger the daughter.”

                    .                

                    mother-daughter-quotes

                      More by this author

                      Kathryn Sandford

                      Career Resilience Coach passionate about supporting others to grow and thrive in a complex world.

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                      Last Updated on July 15, 2020

                      How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life

                      How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life

                      “Entitlement is an expression of conditional love. Nobody is ever entitled to your love. You always have a right to protect your mental, emotional, and physical well-being by removing yourself from toxic people and circumstances.” -Dr. Janice Anderson & Kiersten Anderson

                      It’s not always obvious if you have someone toxic in your life. A toxic relationship is one that is harmful to you. A toxic person can create distress to the degree you feel inadequate and isolated. So, what makes a toxic person?

                      A toxic person has toxic behavior, meaning it’s not that the whole person is toxic[1]. It’s what they do that counts. Most toxic people run from accountability and misrepresent reality to you. They misrepresent your worth and your ability to heal from them can be stifled the longer you keep them in your life. You have a role to play with it as well; if your values are dismissed by them and you don’t act on it, you have allowed room for toxicity to grow.

                      When you are in a toxic relationship, you feel less than. You feel as though you are not worth anyone’s time or effort. You feel unheard, and sometimes you feel unsafe. You don’t feel good about yourself in a toxic relationship, whether it be with a partner, friend, or family member.

                      You may stay in a toxic relationship for a number of reasons. You may believe yourself to be a burden, have a lack of boundaries, resist change, fear conflict, try to be a people pleaser, find yourself codependent, or are partially stuck in a pattern or unhealthy cycle of abuse.

                      Letting go of toxic people may not be easy. In order to do so, you have to know why or how they are toxic to you and read between the lines that they do not have your best interests in mind.

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                      Letting go of toxic people is hard because you are good and want to see the good in others. You think their apologies are authentic. You have trouble believing they are being dishonest. You don’t spend time healing from it. You get pulled back into the pain because you don’t want it to end. However, if you feel like something isn’t right, it probably isn’t right.

                      You should walk away from a toxic person because you need to preserve your peace. You need to feel like yourself again. And you need better support.

                      Letting go of toxic people can involve four major steps.

                      1. Recognize the Red Flags

                      Red flags are signs a person is being toxic. It’s when someone shows characteristics that you should feel caution about. It’s when you feel any level of dissatisfaction and distrust. Trust your gut. When you recognize red flags, you can evaluate whether a person is trying to manipulate you or not. This gives you some level of control over what you allow in your life. The earlier you detect these behaviors, the better off you will be.

                      Red flags can include:

                      • They always put themselves first.
                      • They point out imperfections and sabotage your self-esteem.
                      • You may feel drained or used when you’re around them.
                      • What you give isn’t reciprocated. They don’t return the goodness you provide as a friend.
                      • They ignore your boundaries and get angry when you tell them “no.”
                      • You catch them in half truths or outright lies when you confront them about anything.
                      • You are the villain; they are the victim.
                      • Second chances always lead to repeated patterns of behavior.
                      • They may engage in abuse.

                      2. Set Boundaries

                      There are emotional boundaries that one can set, but there are also physical ones[2]. You can leave any time. Setting boundaries is also an important part of self-care.

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                      You shouldn’t walk on eggshells. Tell them how you feel. Are they respecting you, fulfilling your needs, and listening to you? If not, it’s time to set up a healthy emotional distance and start letting go of toxic people around you.

                      There are levels to this. You have your inner circle, which could include family, and then you have acquaintances and strangers. If a toxic person is in your inner circle, it’s time to pull back and put up some boundaries for them to follow. If they can’t hear you out, you can cut off the connection completely.

                      You can give second chances, but you have to be careful. If someone knows they can get away with something, they will do it again. If there’s any chance for the relationship, they have to know not to cross certain lines.

                      3. Invest in Yourself

                      You deserve to know you are worthwhile. Try to remember that things will get better and that anything is possible. How do you do so? Invest in yourself.

                      This means self care, goal setting, surrounding yourself with positive support, and feeling a sense of peace. Your greatest ambition should be to love yourself. Without self-love, letting go of toxic people will be difficult.

                      Every relationship is a risk, but if you know yourself and what you will allow, toxic people will have less of a hold over you. If you are a giver or people pleaser, you are most at risk to being in a one-sided relationship. You shouldn’t be punished for caring, but sometimes trust needs to be earned. If you have self-love, you are treating yourself the best way possible. You know that others need to meet your standards; otherwise, they don’t get to be a part of your life.

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                      It’s possible that you can love yourself and still not see the signs. It can be difficult for some to be aware that toxic people exist. However,, if you know how much you mean to others in your life and what you are worth, you will be less likely to take on a relationship that is harmful to you or repeat negative patterns. Self-love is how we get out of toxic relationships, but it’s also how they never begin.

                      4. Know When Forgiveness Is Possible

                      There are times a person will prove their worth to you. They may make a mistake that makes them seem like a horrible person. They may forget to be good to you because of their own issues. They may just have no example of what a healthy relationship looks like. They may have an inflated ego that really comes from insecurity. The list goes on.

                      If they apologize, that’s a start. Look at their actions. Are they changing for the better because they really want to change or just seeming to in order to manipulate you? A person may control others with their image or perceived personality, but if you see through them, you may be able to discern the degree to which they are willing to be there for you.

                      If they start to do the right thing, you may begin to trust them again. Don’t start forgiving them until time has passed and you are sure there is growth, even if they show vulnerability or remorse. You can give a second chance if they truly have an awakening. Otherwise, it’s best to get out. Don’t let them walk all over you; let them walk out the door.

                      If you do give a second change and they still refuse to change, you have every right to remove them and continue the process of letting go of toxic people. The moment you even want to leave may also be a good time to get out. You don’t have to compromise yourself in order to care for them.

                      Forgiveness is the release of resentment or anger[3]. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. You have to go back to the same relationship or accept the same harmful behaviors from someone. You don’t have to let them back in. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

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                      Remember, forgiveness is ultimately for you, not them. You don’t need that person in your life in order to forgive them, and if you give them a second chance, proceed with caution.

                      Final Thoughts

                      Recognize the red flags, set boundaries, invest in yourself, and know when forgiveness is possible. This is how you cope with a toxic person impacting your life. You have power in the direction of your life and the people who accompany you as you move forward. Use it.

                      If a person is worthwhile, they will prove themselves through their actions, not their words. If they cross certain lines that really harm you, you owe them nothing. You have every right to feel what you feel and to be upset. Honor your feelings and communicate them because it’ll only continue to keep happening if you don’t.

                      If this is happening to you, it’s time to put a stop to it. It’s time to take control. It’s time to live for yourself, not for what others say about you. It’s time to set your standards higher than they’ve ever been before. And most of all, it’s time to let go.

                      Resource reminder: A physically abusive relationship is ALWAYS toxic. There are resources for you. Always speak up.

                      If you are in such a cycle or domestic violence or abuse reach out for help. For example, there is The National Domestic Violence Hotline (https://www.thehotline.org/) which can be reached at 1−800−799−7233. There are other ways to get help if you simply ask for it. 

                      More Tips on Letting Go of Toxic People

                      Featured photo credit: Hannah Busing via unsplash.com

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