It is perfectly normal to get to a point where you feel stuck and feel the need to regroup. You have to arrive at that period in life where you assess the choices you’ve made/are making, the lifestyle you live and the company you keep at some point. If mankind had not at one point wondered “how can we make it better?” you’d not be reading this post.
We are all our worst critics, especially when it comes to judging how we measure up against what we initially set out to do. We don’t keep in mind that success is not the end goal, but a journey to something bigger than yourself. Even if you haven’t accomplished one thing on your bucket list this year, you’re doing better than you think you are.
Don’t write yourself off just yet. Here’s a checklist to measure how close you really are- even when you can’t see it.
1.You are more confident than you use to be
Confidence is defined as “the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something”. Confidence is not about walking tall and bold in a room or bringing more to the table, it’s an unshaken faith and trust in one’s ability to overcome challenges when experiencing uncertainty. When you choose to step out of your comfort zone and take calculated risks, whilst trusting that you can and you will, you access the kind of confidence that can only be gained through learning from experience.
2.You don’t fall for the #Hype (#FOMO)
The #HYPE is that “#IT” thing or latest thing everybody else is doing, just because that’s what everybody else is doing. Some people don’t even bother to ask themselves, “why do I want/like that?” they just know that, at this point in time, they should be into it.
When you’ve matured, you know yourself more and you’re able to discern what doesn’t speak to you. Then you can shift all your attention, focus and commitment to mastering and strengthening the best version of yourself. Being at a place or doing something you were not called to do automatically compromises you- and acting in this way means that you will always be inferior to someone who is in their natural habitat.
3.You’ve overcome your approval addiction
Approval addiction is the need to have other people validate you. Determining your life status based on the number of likes you can pull on Instagram and doing things to please people you wouldn’t like otherwise are examples of approval addiction.
We’ve all, at some point, done things only to please and get validation from others. But you are now at a stage where the only people you want to please are the ones who matter (i.e. yourself and your loved ones).
4. You are more responsive than reactive
You’ve stopped having fits, throwing tantrums, panicking and dramatizing everything that happens to you. Being reactive is a trait that means throwing in the towel, throwing a pity party, victimizing yourself, and giving up when things haven’t worked out.
People who are reactive let things happen to them.
Responsive people ask questions like: why? How? And what?
Through being responsive, you allow yourself to feel the pain, but also understand the need for analysis. You are less likely to be swayed by other people’s actions and opinions; you don’t hold things people have done against them but you know to keep your distance for safety measures.
5. You’ve stopped waiting on people
You just go ahead and do it your damn self.
6. You have a handful of friends who can describe you in three words off the top of their heads
These are people you rely on, they are a good support structure and they see you through most situations. This is not family, family is by default. We’re talking about friends that you’ve chosen, you’ve made a good enough impression on them, and you have been so worthwhile in their lives that they have decided (with no inherent obligation or responsibility to you) you are worth them investing their hearts and time into a relationship with you.
7. You know the difference between savings, retirement and investments
You are no financial expert but you’ve gotten the basics of life and work and money down, just so that you know what is absolutely necessary for your future.
8. You are sooooo over proving them wrong
You know, proving your haters wrong, revenge on the people who’ve hurt you, wanting to show the nay sayers that it can be done… What a draining, pointless and counterproductive exercise.
This kind of attitude evolves from the wrong energy and can cloud your judgement through fear that they might be right. Now you do things because:
a) you genuinely want to and you really love it and b), its the most rewarding and fulfilling thing for you and it’s all you want to do.
If they said you shouldn’t’ write because writers make no money, so your every day is committed to proving the wrong, how much creativity springs from that? Maybe a manuscript or two featuring the vilest characters and soapie drama, but other than that? Hate and resentment.
If you, however, write because that’s what you were called to do and you draw your inspiration from that gift that no one can take from you, you’ll go so much further and live in a very fruitful way.
9. You are so over arriving late, being disorganized and unprepared
You understand the principle and importance of punctuality. So you don’t waste your time and you don’t waste other people’s time. You plan ahead for all your meetings and you organize yourself accordingly. That is true “adulting” and you know that it’s a habit worth mastering
10. You can organize a report in Word, graphs in Excel and present using PowerPoint
This is because you’ve actually been involved in projects that required these skills and you have once in your life had to present your findings on research that you did, whether it was for investors in your new start up, or a job report, or thesis.
11. You’re learning a new language
This is a good thing. You are open minded and you want to expand your horizons. You know the benefits of being bilingual and you have an interest in other cultures.
12. You can say good things about your least favorite person behind their back
Ah, the true test of character. This matters most because it says more about you than it does about the other person. When you have dignity you have no business tearing others down or giving a bad report on someone who is not there to defend themselves. You respect people by respecting yourself and self-respect does not involve dragging other people’s reputations down into the mud.
13. You have good tendencies
The general vibe about you is that you are reliable, kind, harmless, fun, loving and people get along with you. This does not mean that you go out of your way to please people but you are conscious of the impression you give and you try to be accommodating enough so as to make meeting you pleasant and worthwhile.
14. You are so much more grateful
You don’t do comparisons as much, so you’re not as envious and spiteful. You realize just how blessed you are and when you lack you’re thankful whilst working towards the things you want, never neglecting what you have been blessed with. You know that there are people who don’t have what you have and you don’t take your health for granted.
15. You are the right person
Right person for the job, right person for that life partner, right person to befriend, right person for that dream house, right person to achieve those goals, right person to be at this point in time. You’ve just realized that you are not foolish for having those goals, because you don’t need what you thought you needed: a million dollar idea, more money, more education, more experience. You just need to develop and grow what’s been planted inside you to go forth and create the life you’ve dreamed about living.