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15 Signs You’re Doing Better You Think You Are

15 Signs You’re Doing Better You Think You Are

It is perfectly normal to get to a point where you feel stuck and feel the need to regroup. You have to arrive at that period in life where you assess the choices you’ve made/are making, the lifestyle you live and the company you keep at some point. If mankind had not at one point wondered “how can we make it better?” you’d not be reading this post.

We are all our worst critics, especially when it comes to judging how we measure up against what we initially set out to do. We don’t keep in mind that success is not the end goal, but a journey to something bigger than yourself. Even if you haven’t accomplished one thing on your bucket list this year, you’re doing better than you think you are.

Don’t write yourself off just yet. Here’s a checklist to measure how close you really are- even when you can’t see it.

1.You are more confident than you use to be

Confidence is defined as “the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something”. Confidence is not about walking tall and bold in a room or bringing more to the table, it’s an unshaken faith and trust in one’s ability to overcome challenges when experiencing uncertainty. When you choose to step out of your comfort zone and take calculated risks, whilst trusting that you can and you will, you access the kind of confidence that can only be gained through learning from experience.

2.You don’t fall for the #Hype (#FOMO)

The #HYPE is that “#IT” thing or latest thing everybody else is doing, just because that’s what everybody else is doing. Some people don’t even bother to ask themselves, “why do I want/like that?” they just know that, at this point in time, they should be into it.

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When you’ve matured, you know yourself more and you’re able to discern what doesn’t speak to you. Then you can shift all your attention, focus and commitment to mastering and strengthening the best version of yourself. Being at a place or doing something you were not called to do automatically compromises you- and acting in this way means that you will always be inferior to someone who is in their natural habitat.

3.You’ve overcome your approval addiction

Approval addiction is the need to have other people validate you. Determining your life status based on the number of likes you can pull on Instagram and doing things to please people you wouldn’t like otherwise are examples of approval addiction.

We’ve all, at some point, done things only to please and get validation from others. But you are now at a stage where the only people you want to please are the ones who matter (i.e. yourself and your loved ones).

4. You are more responsive than reactive

You’ve stopped having fits, throwing tantrums, panicking and dramatizing everything that happens to you. Being reactive is a trait that means throwing in the towel, throwing a pity party, victimizing yourself, and giving up when things haven’t worked out.

People who are reactive let things happen to them.

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Responsive people ask questions like: why? How? And what?

Through being responsive, you allow yourself to feel the pain, but also understand the need for analysis. You are less likely to be swayed by other people’s actions and opinions; you don’t hold things people have done against them but you know to keep your distance for safety measures.

5. You’ve stopped waiting on people

You just go ahead and do it your damn self.

6. You have a handful of friends who can describe you in three words off the top of their heads

These are people you rely on, they are a good support structure and they see you through most situations. This is not family, family is by default. We’re talking about friends that you’ve chosen, you’ve made a good enough impression on them, and you have been so worthwhile in their lives that they have decided (with no inherent obligation or responsibility to you) you are worth them investing their hearts and time into a relationship with you.

7. You know the difference between savings, retirement and investments

You are no financial expert but you’ve gotten the basics of life and work and money down, just so that you know what is absolutely necessary for your future.

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8. You are sooooo over proving them wrong

You know, proving your haters wrong, revenge on the people who’ve hurt you, wanting to show the nay sayers that it can be done… What a draining, pointless and counterproductive exercise.

This kind of attitude evolves from the wrong energy and can cloud your judgement through fear that they might be right. Now you do things because:

a) you genuinely want to and you really love it and b), its the most rewarding and fulfilling thing for you and it’s all you want to do.

If they said you shouldn’t’ write because writers make no money, so your every day is committed to proving the wrong, how much creativity springs from that? Maybe a manuscript or two featuring the vilest characters and soapie drama, but other than that? Hate and resentment.

If you, however, write because that’s what you were called to do and you draw your inspiration from that gift that no one can take from you, you’ll go so much further and live in a very fruitful way.

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9. You are so over arriving late, being disorganized and unprepared

You understand the principle and importance of punctuality. So you don’t waste your time and you don’t waste other people’s time. You plan ahead for all your meetings and you organize yourself accordingly. That is true “adulting” and you know that it’s a habit worth mastering

10. You can organize a report in Word, graphs in Excel and present using PowerPoint

This is because you’ve actually been involved in projects that required these skills and you have once in your life had to present your findings on research that you did, whether it was for investors in your new start up, or a job report, or thesis.

11. You’re learning a new language

This is a good thing. You are open minded and you want to expand your horizons. You know the benefits of being bilingual and you have an interest in other cultures.

12. You can say good things about your least favorite person behind their back

Ah, the true test of character. This matters most because it says more about you than it does about the other person. When you have dignity you have no business tearing others down or giving a bad report on someone who is not there to defend themselves. You respect people by respecting yourself and self-respect does not involve dragging other people’s reputations down into the mud.

13. You have good tendencies

The general vibe about you is that you are reliable, kind, harmless, fun, loving and people get along with you. This does not mean that you go out of your way to please people but you are conscious of the impression you give and you try to be accommodating enough so as to make meeting you pleasant and worthwhile.

14. You are so much more grateful

You don’t do comparisons as much, so you’re not as envious and spiteful. You realize just how blessed you are and when you lack you’re thankful whilst working towards the things you want, never neglecting what you have been blessed with. You know that there are people who don’t have what you have and you don’t take your health for granted.

15. You are the right person

Right person for the job, right person for that life partner, right person to befriend, right person for that dream house, right person to achieve those goals, right person to be at this point in time. You’ve just realized that you are not foolish for having those goals, because you don’t need what you thought you needed: a million dollar idea, more money, more education, more experience. You just need to develop and grow what’s been planted inside you to go forth and create the life you’ve dreamed about living.

More by this author

Kayiba Mpoyi

Writer by birth

Don’t Wait for People’s Validation, Do It Yourself, Every Single Day 10 Reasons Why Some People Will Never Succeed Successful Businesses Use This Tool to Predict the Future and Get Ahead of Their Competitors 15 Signs You’re Doing Better You Think You Are The Key To Reaching Your Goals: Willpower And Planning

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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