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26 Simple Things You Have To Stop Doing To Move Closer To Success

26 Simple Things You Have To Stop Doing To Move Closer To Success

Are you looking for success? Many people want a successful life but they believe they don’t have what it takes. Everyone has the ability to be extremely successful – check out 27 simple things that might be holding you back.

1. Making Empty Promises

Only say things you know are true, and people will trust and respect you. A big part of success is being honest and reliable.

2. Blaming Others

Your life is in your hands – accept responsibility  for your mistakes, and you will be forced to work on improving them.

3. Looking for Others’ Approval

Unless you work for them, you don’t need their approval. Do what makes you happy and don’t worry too much about other opinions.

4. Aiming Small

You have one life – aim bigger! If you try to achieve more, it is very likely you will succeed and have a successful life.

5. Living in The Past

As the saying goes: “Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.”

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Take advantage of the present, and make your time count.

6. Trying to Be Perfect

No one is perfect. Trying to be is a waste of time. Instead, learn to love your flaws and focus on overall self-improvement.

7. Trying to Do Everything Alone

For some tasks in life, you need more than one person. Don’t sell yourself short by refusing to accept help from others.

8. Waiting for Luck

Don’t wait for luck to come around – it may never arrive. Start making your own luck today.

9. Waiting in General

Try not to rely on other people or life when it comes to your own success. Take matters into your own hands whenever necessary.

10. Forgetting About Small Achievements

Small goals are important too – pat yourself on the back every time you do something you’re proud of.

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11. Being Scared of Making Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes, including you. Acceptance of that fact, and forgiving yourself, are vital pieces to achieving success.

But make sure you learn from your mistakes.

12. Being Scared of Change

Don’t fear the unknown – you can’t improve without change.

13. Not Realizing Your Potential

You are smart and motivated – embrace these traits and see what you can achieve.

14. Giving Up

Life will have ups and downs – don’t let the bad parts stop you working towards the good parts.

15. Holding Onto Grudges

If someone hurt you in the past, they can no longer change that. Let your anger go – it’s not helping anyone, including yourself.

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16. Not Having a Positive Attitude

With a negative attitude, you will see the worst parts of the world. Keep a positive attitude, and you will see all of the opportunities the world has to offer.

17. Trash Talking

If you don’t like someone, don’t talk about them and avoid associating with them. Gossiping about others is more likely to reflect badly on you than them.

18. Not Focusing on Being Happy

Happiness doesn’t just happen; it takes work, so try to do at least one thing every day that puts a smile on your face.

19. Not Having a Career Plan

Your work takes up 40 hours (or more) of your week. Make sure you find something you enjoy and feel proud of.

20. Not Having a Life Plan

Fail to plan and life will pass you by. So, make sure you think of the future as well as enjoying the present.

21. Missing Out on Opportunities to Learn

Education doesn’t finish with school – the whole world is full of life lessons that will help you to gain success and happiness.

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22. Spending Time with Negative People

Your friends should lift you up and motivate you to achieve more – if they don’t, you don’t need them in your life.

23. Not Being Happy for Others

If someone else gains success, they don’t take your success away. Remember this and be happy for anyone you know who is enjoying a successful life.

24. Not Listening

If you only talk and don’t listen, you can miss many great opportunities for success. Don’t let this happen to you – keep your ears open!

25. Not Allowing Yourself to Relax

The most successful people make sure they take breaks to relax and unwind. Without a chance to relax, you will struggle to work effectively. So, remember to put your feet up when you can.

26. Settling

You can always achieve more and gain greater success – don’t settle if you’re not 100% happy with your lot.

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2019

How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

Habits are hard to kill, and rightly so. They are a part and parcel of your personality traits and mold your character.

However, habits are not always something over-the-top and quirky enough to get noticed. Think of subtle habits like tapping fingers when you are nervous and humming songs while you drive. These are nothing but ingrained habits that you may not realize easily.

Just take a few minutes and think of something specific that you do all the time. You will notice how it has become a habit for you without any explicit realization. Everything you do on a daily basis starting with your morning routine, lunch preferences to exercise routines are all habits.

Habits mostly form from life experiences and certain observed behaviors, not all of them are healthy. Habitual smoking can be dangerous to your health. Similarly, a habit could also make you lose out on enjoying something to its best – like how some people just cannot stop swaying their bodies when delivering a speech.

Thus, there could be a few habits that you would want to change about yourself. But changing habits is not as easy as it seems, why?

What Makes It Hard To Change A Habit?

To want to change a particular habit means to change something very fundamental about your behavior.[1] Hence, it’s necessary to understand how habits actually form and why they are so difficult to actually get out of.

The Biology

Habits form in a place what we call the subconscious mind in our brain.[2]

Our brains have two modes of operation. The first one is an automatic pilot kind of system that is fast and works on reflexes often. It is what we call the subconscious part. This is the part that is associated with everything that comes naturally to you.

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The second mode is the conscious mode where every action and decision is well thought out and follows a controlled way of thinking.

A fine example to distinguish both would be to consider yourself learning to drive or play an instrument. For the first time you try learning, you think before every movement you make. But once you have got the hang of it, you might drive without applying much thought into it.

Both systems work together in our brains at all times. When a habit is formed, it moves from the conscious part to the subconscious making it difficult to control.

So, the key idea in deconstructing a habit is to go from the subconscious to the conscious.

Another thing you have to understand about habits is that they can be conscious or hidden.

Conscious habits are those that require active input from your side. For instance, if you stop setting your alarm in the morning, you will stop waking up at the same time.

Hidden habits, on the other hand, are habits that we do without realizing. These make up the majority of our habits and we wouldn’t even know them until someone pointed them out. So the first difficulty in breaking these habits is to actually identify them. As they are internalized, they need a lot of attention to detail for self-identification. That’s not all.

Habits can be physical, social, and mental, energy-based and even be particular to productivity. Understanding them is necessary to know why they are difficult to break and what can be done about them.

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The Psychology

Habits get engraved into our memories depending on the way we think, feel and act over a particular period of time. The procedural part of memory deals with habit formation and studies have observed that various types of conditioning of behavior could affect your habit formations.

Classical conditioning or pavlovian conditioning is when you start associating a memory with reality.[3] A dog that associates ringing bell to food will start salivating. The same external stimuli such as the sound of church bells can make a person want to pray.

Operant conditioning is when experience and the feelings associated with it form a habit.[4] By encouraging or discouraging an act, individuals could either make it a habit or stop doing it.

Observational learning is another way habits could take form. A child may start walking the same way their parent does.

What Can You Do To Change a Habit?

Sure, habits are hard to control but it is not impossible. With a few tips and hard-driven dedication, you can surely get over your nasty habits.

Here are some ways that make use of psychological findings to help you:

1. Identify Your Habits

As mentioned earlier, habits can be quite subtle and hidden from your view. You have to bring your subconscious habits to an aware state of mind. You could do it by self-observation or by asking your friends or family to point out the habit for your sake.

2. Find out the Impact of Your Habit

Every habit produces an effect – either physical or mental. Find out what exactly it is doing to you. Does it help you relieve stress or does it give you some pain relief?

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It could be anything simple. Sometimes biting your nails could be calming your nerves. Understanding the effect of a habit is necessary to control it.

3. Apply Logic

You don’t need to be force-fed with wisdom and advice to know what an unhealthy habit could do to you.

Late-night binge-watching just before an important presentation is not going to help you. Take a moment and apply your own wisdom and logic to control your seemingly nastily habits.

4. Choose an Alternative

As I said, every habit induces some feeling. So, it could be quite difficult to get over it unless you find something else that can replace it. It can be a simple non-harming new habit that you can cultivate to get over a bad habit.

Say you have the habit of banging your head hard when you are angry. That’s going to be bad for you. Instead, the next time you are angry, just take a deep breath and count to 10. Or maybe start imagining yourself on a luxury yacht. Just think of something that will work for you.

5. Remove Triggers

Get rid of items and situations that can trigger your bad habit.

Stay away from smoke breaks if you are trying to quit it. Remove all those candy bars from the fridge if you want to control your sweet cravings.

6. Visualize Change

Our brains can be trained to forget a habit if we start visualizing the change. Serious visualization is retained and helps as a motivator in breaking the habit loop.

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For instance, to replace your habit of waking up late, visualize yourself waking up early and enjoying the early morning jog every day. By continuing this, you would naturally feel better to wake up early and do your new hobby.

7. Avoid Negative Talks and Thinking

Just as how our brain is trained to accept a change in habit, continuous negative talk and thinking could hamper your efforts put into breaking a habit.

Believe you can get out of it and assert yourself the same.

Final Thoughts

Changing habits isn’t easy, so do not expect an overnight change!

Habits took a long time to form. It could take a while to completely break out of it. You will have to accept that sometimes you may falter in your efforts. Don’t let negativity seep in when it seems hard. Keep going at it slowly and steadily.

More About Changing Habits

Featured photo credit: Mel via unsplash.com

Reference

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