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3 Important Thoughts To Keep You Motivated Throughout Your Life

3 Important Thoughts To Keep You Motivated Throughout Your Life

A motivated mindset is the key to success in any endeavor. Show me two people competing over anything and I will show you the one who is motivated and fueled by their thoughts will often be the winner. If you want to win and be successful at anything in life, you must recognize the importance of positive internal dialogue and motivation. Many people are not able to do this and as a result, they often feel lost in life. Staying hungry for success on a consistent basis can be a challenge.

I have found myself in a similar situation many times and motivation is what enabled me to push through. Here are 3 important thoughts that will help motivate you throughout your life:

1. “I can do this.”

What is “this”? It can be a goal. It can be a task. The point is “this” is anything you are trying to succeed at. Why is it important to have this thought? It is important because you need positive internal dialogue every step along the way toward reaching your goal.

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You must think to yourself “I can do this” before you even start. This is what gives you confidence in the first place. You are telling yourself that success is possible and you can make it happen. You must tell yourself “I can do this” during the process. This is important because we often experience mental and physical fatigue. We might have nothing left. However, telling ourselves that we “can do this” pushes us to keep going. Eventually, the goal is accomplished and we no longer think “I can do this”. Instead, we think “I did it.”

This thought applies to any goal, especially losing weight. The way you succeed is by telling yourself, “I can do this”. You say this to yourself before you go to the gym early in the morning to do your cardio. During the process, you might be tempted to eat junk food and give up. However, thinking “I can do this” pushes you forward and keeps you on task. Eventually, you lose enough weight to meet your goal. You no longer think “I can do this.” Instead, you think “I did it.”

It is very easy to adopt this line of thought. All you have to do is give yourself permission to believe that you can do it. Once you do that, you don’t stop having this internal dialogue with yourself until your goal is accomplished.

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2. “No one will outwork me.”

Work ethic is what often separates the winners from the losers. Having pride in your work ethic is an incredible source of lifelong motivation. When you think “no one will outwork me”, you are making a special promise to yourself. You are promising yourself that you will give it your all in order to accomplish your goal. You will have no choice but to stay motivated. This thought is applicable whether you have competitors or not.

This applies to any arena when are competing against others because you are telling yourself that you are going to beat them during the training process. When it comes time for actual competition, you will have all the confidence in the world because you know you have outworked them.

This thought also applies when you have no competition. The “no one will outwork me” promise forces you to follow it long-term. Maybe you have competition out there that you do not know about? Maybe there is someone out there working just as hard as you? How do you deal with that? You deal with it by not leaving anything to chance. You repeatedly think to yourself “no one will outwork me” and you put in the work.

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“No one will outwork me” is important because it is promise that you make to yourself. Once you make it, you can apply it to any goal you have in life. You express it by putting your heart and soul in to your work.

3. “Have faith in the future.”

Life is not a simply a matter of having goals, fueling yourself with motivating thoughts, and accomplishing them. You are tested. There are obstacles along the way. There are times when you will doubt yourself because things don’t look too good. What do you do then?

You think to yourself “have faith in the future.” “Have faith in the future” is the ultimate motivating thought. It is important because there are times when we experience serious self-doubt. We lose all confidence and just want to give up.

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Having faith in the future is important because it is a way of telling yourself that although the situation looks grim, it will get better. You just have to have faith and work through it. Ultimately, “have faith in the future” is a thought that keeps you on task and reminds you of what’s really important, which is to accomplish your goal. Adversity and distractions are inevitable. However, in the end, the only thing that truly matters is accomplishing your goal.

For instance, medical school is a time when many students could use this thought. Do students experience adversity and self-doubt during medical school? Absolutely. The process of learning difficult material and supporting yourself financially can be a daunting task. Many students contemplate giving up. The ones that push through are the ones who are constantly reminding themselves that times will get better and that they must “have faith in the future.”

This thought comes in handy when times are tough. You can remind yourself to “have faith in the future” throughout the entire process. However, it is most useful when you are experiencing self-doubt. At that point, it is crucial to constantly remind yourself of this so that you don’t give up. As long as you have that faith, there is always a chance.

Featured photo credit: Eric Austria via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 15, 2020

How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life

How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life

“Entitlement is an expression of conditional love. Nobody is ever entitled to your love. You always have a right to protect your mental, emotional, and physical well-being by removing yourself from toxic people and circumstances.” -Dr. Janice Anderson & Kiersten Anderson

It’s not always obvious if you have someone toxic in your life. A toxic relationship is one that is harmful to you. A toxic person can create distress to the degree you feel inadequate and isolated. So, what makes a toxic person?

A toxic person has toxic behavior, meaning it’s not that the whole person is toxic[1]. It’s what they do that counts. Most toxic people run from accountability and misrepresent reality to you. They misrepresent your worth and your ability to heal from them can be stifled the longer you keep them in your life. You have a role to play with it as well; if your values are dismissed by them and you don’t act on it, you have allowed room for toxicity to grow.

When you are in a toxic relationship, you feel less than. You feel as though you are not worth anyone’s time or effort. You feel unheard, and sometimes you feel unsafe. You don’t feel good about yourself in a toxic relationship, whether it be with a partner, friend, or family member.

You may stay in a toxic relationship for a number of reasons. You may believe yourself to be a burden, have a lack of boundaries, resist change, fear conflict, try to be a people pleaser, find yourself codependent, or are partially stuck in a pattern or unhealthy cycle of abuse.

Letting go of toxic people may not be easy. In order to do so, you have to know why or how they are toxic to you and read between the lines that they do not have your best interests in mind.

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Letting go of toxic people is hard because you are good and want to see the good in others. You think their apologies are authentic. You have trouble believing they are being dishonest. You don’t spend time healing from it. You get pulled back into the pain because you don’t want it to end. However, if you feel like something isn’t right, it probably isn’t right.

You should walk away from a toxic person because you need to preserve your peace. You need to feel like yourself again. And you need better support.

Letting go of toxic people can involve four major steps.

1. Recognize the Red Flags

Red flags are signs a person is being toxic. It’s when someone shows characteristics that you should feel caution about. It’s when you feel any level of dissatisfaction and distrust. Trust your gut. When you recognize red flags, you can evaluate whether a person is trying to manipulate you or not. This gives you some level of control over what you allow in your life. The earlier you detect these behaviors, the better off you will be.

Red flags can include:

  • They always put themselves first.
  • They point out imperfections and sabotage your self-esteem.
  • You may feel drained or used when you’re around them.
  • What you give isn’t reciprocated. They don’t return the goodness you provide as a friend.
  • They ignore your boundaries and get angry when you tell them “no.”
  • You catch them in half truths or outright lies when you confront them about anything.
  • You are the villain; they are the victim.
  • Second chances always lead to repeated patterns of behavior.
  • They may engage in abuse.

2. Set Boundaries

There are emotional boundaries that one can set, but there are also physical ones[2]. You can leave any time. Setting boundaries is also an important part of self-care.

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You shouldn’t walk on eggshells. Tell them how you feel. Are they respecting you, fulfilling your needs, and listening to you? If not, it’s time to set up a healthy emotional distance and start letting go of toxic people around you.

There are levels to this. You have your inner circle, which could include family, and then you have acquaintances and strangers. If a toxic person is in your inner circle, it’s time to pull back and put up some boundaries for them to follow. If they can’t hear you out, you can cut off the connection completely.

You can give second chances, but you have to be careful. If someone knows they can get away with something, they will do it again. If there’s any chance for the relationship, they have to know not to cross certain lines.

3. Invest in Yourself

You deserve to know you are worthwhile. Try to remember that things will get better and that anything is possible. How do you do so? Invest in yourself.

This means self care, goal setting, surrounding yourself with positive support, and feeling a sense of peace. Your greatest ambition should be to love yourself. Without self-love, letting go of toxic people will be difficult.

Every relationship is a risk, but if you know yourself and what you will allow, toxic people will have less of a hold over you. If you are a giver or people pleaser, you are most at risk to being in a one-sided relationship. You shouldn’t be punished for caring, but sometimes trust needs to be earned. If you have self-love, you are treating yourself the best way possible. You know that others need to meet your standards; otherwise, they don’t get to be a part of your life.

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It’s possible that you can love yourself and still not see the signs. It can be difficult for some to be aware that toxic people exist. However,, if you know how much you mean to others in your life and what you are worth, you will be less likely to take on a relationship that is harmful to you or repeat negative patterns. Self-love is how we get out of toxic relationships, but it’s also how they never begin.

4. Know When Forgiveness Is Possible

There are times a person will prove their worth to you. They may make a mistake that makes them seem like a horrible person. They may forget to be good to you because of their own issues. They may just have no example of what a healthy relationship looks like. They may have an inflated ego that really comes from insecurity. The list goes on.

If they apologize, that’s a start. Look at their actions. Are they changing for the better because they really want to change or just seeming to in order to manipulate you? A person may control others with their image or perceived personality, but if you see through them, you may be able to discern the degree to which they are willing to be there for you.

If they start to do the right thing, you may begin to trust them again. Don’t start forgiving them until time has passed and you are sure there is growth, even if they show vulnerability or remorse. You can give a second chance if they truly have an awakening. Otherwise, it’s best to get out. Don’t let them walk all over you; let them walk out the door.

If you do give a second change and they still refuse to change, you have every right to remove them and continue the process of letting go of toxic people. The moment you even want to leave may also be a good time to get out. You don’t have to compromise yourself in order to care for them.

Forgiveness is the release of resentment or anger[3]. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. You have to go back to the same relationship or accept the same harmful behaviors from someone. You don’t have to let them back in. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

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Remember, forgiveness is ultimately for you, not them. You don’t need that person in your life in order to forgive them, and if you give them a second chance, proceed with caution.

Final Thoughts

Recognize the red flags, set boundaries, invest in yourself, and know when forgiveness is possible. This is how you cope with a toxic person impacting your life. You have power in the direction of your life and the people who accompany you as you move forward. Use it.

If a person is worthwhile, they will prove themselves through their actions, not their words. If they cross certain lines that really harm you, you owe them nothing. You have every right to feel what you feel and to be upset. Honor your feelings and communicate them because it’ll only continue to keep happening if you don’t.

If this is happening to you, it’s time to put a stop to it. It’s time to take control. It’s time to live for yourself, not for what others say about you. It’s time to set your standards higher than they’ve ever been before. And most of all, it’s time to let go.

Resource reminder: A physically abusive relationship is ALWAYS toxic. There are resources for you. Always speak up.

If you are in such a cycle or domestic violence or abuse reach out for help. For example, there is The National Domestic Violence Hotline (https://www.thehotline.org/) which can be reached at 1−800−799−7233. There are other ways to get help if you simply ask for it. 

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Featured photo credit: Hannah Busing via unsplash.com

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