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11 Things To Remember If Your Loved Ones Suffer From Anxiety

11 Things To Remember If Your Loved Ones Suffer From Anxiety

We have all suffered from anxiety at some point in our life.  Each of us have had to work out how to deal with this internal experience, generally without a guidebook telling us how.  We can be of great help to our loved ones if we can show a patient, compassionate approach, when they suffer from anxiety. This isn’t always easy, but well worthwhile in the long-run.

Here are 11 things to remember if our loved ones suffer from anxiety:

1) They are not an anxious person

When anxiety is present in our mind, this doesn’t mean we are an anxious person. We become an anxious person when we start to identify with this state of mind. It’s often difficult to separate our self from the emotions within our mind.  However, with a little mental clarity we can differentiate between the anxiety in our mind and our self.

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2) They don’t have to identify with being anxious and you can help this

If we can see beyond the anxiety in our loved ones mind then we can help them change. Often, when we negatively project onto those around us, it limits their capacity for growth. How we think about others, even when we are not with them, has an effect on our relationship and governs our experience when we are next with them. This is why it can help others if we try to identify with their positive characteristics.

3) They have the potential to reduce the anxiety in their mind

Anxiety can be a crippling emotion when it’s strong. Taking over both our body and mind. However, we always have the potential to be free from anxiety if we can think in a creative, skillful way. As a friend, you can try to help move their mind in a positive direction.

4) They can overcome anxiety, but at their pace

We are all completely different. Sometimes, if we can show patience and openness to our loved ones then this is enough to help them, so they know that they can progress in their time. Not in the schedule that you feel they should follow.

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5) They still can be happy with the right support

Anxiety can be isolating and debilitating, with the right compassionate support even if our loved ones are anxious they can have happy times in their life. If we take the time to be a friend to our loved one then sometimes this is enough. Spending time with their friends and family can help them to think about other elements of their life and maybe even to not think too much at all, just enjoy whatever activity it is they are engaged in.

6) They share an experience that we all have had

We have all had some level of anxiety, a heightened level of stress.  There are many people silently suffering from this mindset, right now as you read this post. We are not alone with our stress. Reaching out and acknowledging this can help to lighten the experience of anxiety within the mind. We can start to have a more expansive view of our life which allows for anxiety to dissolve.

7) They have the potential to be free from anxiety

In the future, our loved one can be free from this mind and have a more liberated experience of their life. If we can see this, then they can start to begin to see it.  If we see anxiety like a physical symptom then we can be more pragmatic and less emotionally involved with it’s process.  Ask yourself — What is it? Where does it come from? And what can we do to reduce it?

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8) They don’t necessarily need or want our advice

There can be a tendency if our loved one is suffering from anxiety to try, even with the best will in the world, to offer our advice to try, and help them. Sometimes this can be helpful, other-times it can not really be of any benefit and is just like hot air, that is neither helping them or you.

If we can have a compassionate approach then we are more likely to know what to say, how to say it, and when to say it.

9) They do need our presence

Our presence is often all that is needed and sometimes the most difficult thing to offer to our loved-ones. This doesn’t necessarily need to be for long periods of time. Just make sure you are truly present when you hang out with your anxiety-ridden loved one.

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10) They can take regular exercise and have a healthy diet, which starts to help reduce anxiety

Anxiety is located in our head. Thinking a lot doesn’t always help us to move on. Taking regular exercise can naturally help us to burn off the negativity and stress in our body and mind. Combining this with a healthy diet can help us to feel good about ourselves and the world around us.

11) They have the power to live in the moment to be free from anxiety, step-by-step

Anxiety arises when our mind is in the future, running ahead of itself and distracted by what could or may happen. Learning to live in the moment is a natural way to help us let go and reduce the anxiety in our mind naturally. Engaging in activities like Mindful Walking and Mindful Eating can help to draw us into the moment.

If we can learn to live fully in the moment through training in Mindfulness then we can offer an openness and compassion to our self and loved ones, helping us all move forward into a positive future.

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5 Confucius Quotes To Guide Your Life 11 Things To Remember If Your Loved Ones Suffer From Anxiety How to Gain an Immediate Experience of Mindfulness


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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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