Advertising
Advertising

11 Things To Remember If Your Loved Ones Suffer From Anxiety

11 Things To Remember If Your Loved Ones Suffer From Anxiety

We have all suffered from anxiety at some point in our life.  Each of us have had to work out how to deal with this internal experience, generally without a guidebook telling us how.  We can be of great help to our loved ones if we can show a patient, compassionate approach, when they suffer from anxiety. This isn’t always easy, but well worthwhile in the long-run.

Here are 11 things to remember if our loved ones suffer from anxiety:

1) They are not an anxious person

When anxiety is present in our mind, this doesn’t mean we are an anxious person. We become an anxious person when we start to identify with this state of mind. It’s often difficult to separate our self from the emotions within our mind.  However, with a little mental clarity we can differentiate between the anxiety in our mind and our self.

Advertising

2) They don’t have to identify with being anxious and you can help this

If we can see beyond the anxiety in our loved ones mind then we can help them change. Often, when we negatively project onto those around us, it limits their capacity for growth. How we think about others, even when we are not with them, has an effect on our relationship and governs our experience when we are next with them. This is why it can help others if we try to identify with their positive characteristics.

3) They have the potential to reduce the anxiety in their mind

Anxiety can be a crippling emotion when it’s strong. Taking over both our body and mind. However, we always have the potential to be free from anxiety if we can think in a creative, skillful way. As a friend, you can try to help move their mind in a positive direction.

4) They can overcome anxiety, but at their pace

We are all completely different. Sometimes, if we can show patience and openness to our loved ones then this is enough to help them, so they know that they can progress in their time. Not in the schedule that you feel they should follow.

Advertising

5) They still can be happy with the right support

Anxiety can be isolating and debilitating, with the right compassionate support even if our loved ones are anxious they can have happy times in their life. If we take the time to be a friend to our loved one then sometimes this is enough. Spending time with their friends and family can help them to think about other elements of their life and maybe even to not think too much at all, just enjoy whatever activity it is they are engaged in.

6) They share an experience that we all have had

We have all had some level of anxiety, a heightened level of stress.  There are many people silently suffering from this mindset, right now as you read this post. We are not alone with our stress. Reaching out and acknowledging this can help to lighten the experience of anxiety within the mind. We can start to have a more expansive view of our life which allows for anxiety to dissolve.

7) They have the potential to be free from anxiety

In the future, our loved one can be free from this mind and have a more liberated experience of their life. If we can see this, then they can start to begin to see it.  If we see anxiety like a physical symptom then we can be more pragmatic and less emotionally involved with it’s process.  Ask yourself — What is it? Where does it come from? And what can we do to reduce it?

Advertising

8) They don’t necessarily need or want our advice

There can be a tendency if our loved one is suffering from anxiety to try, even with the best will in the world, to offer our advice to try, and help them. Sometimes this can be helpful, other-times it can not really be of any benefit and is just like hot air, that is neither helping them or you.

If we can have a compassionate approach then we are more likely to know what to say, how to say it, and when to say it.

9) They do need our presence

Our presence is often all that is needed and sometimes the most difficult thing to offer to our loved-ones. This doesn’t necessarily need to be for long periods of time. Just make sure you are truly present when you hang out with your anxiety-ridden loved one.

Advertising

10) They can take regular exercise and have a healthy diet, which starts to help reduce anxiety

Anxiety is located in our head. Thinking a lot doesn’t always help us to move on. Taking regular exercise can naturally help us to burn off the negativity and stress in our body and mind. Combining this with a healthy diet can help us to feel good about ourselves and the world around us.

11) They have the power to live in the moment to be free from anxiety, step-by-step

Anxiety arises when our mind is in the future, running ahead of itself and distracted by what could or may happen. Learning to live in the moment is a natural way to help us let go and reduce the anxiety in our mind naturally. Engaging in activities like Mindful Walking and Mindful Eating can help to draw us into the moment.

If we can learn to live fully in the moment through training in Mindfulness then we can offer an openness and compassion to our self and loved ones, helping us all move forward into a positive future.

More by this author

5 Confucius Quotes To Guide Your Life 11 Things To Remember If Your Loved Ones Suffer From Anxiety How to Gain an Immediate Experience of Mindfulness


Trending in Communication

1 10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively 2 How To Be Happy Alone and Enjoy Life 3 What Is Self-Worth and How to Recognize Yours 4 How to Build Self Esteem (A Guide to Realize Your Hidden Power) 5 Why an Attitude of Gratitude Is Essential (And How to Develop It)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on April 6, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

Advertising

2. Listen

Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

3. Become an Expert

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

4. Lead with Story

From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

Advertising

If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

5. Lead by Example

It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

6. Catch People Doing Good

A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

7. Be Effusive with Praise

It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

Advertising

Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

Advertising

10. Understand Your Lane

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

More Tips About Making Influence

Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

Read Next