“One of the greatest titles in the world is parent, and one of the biggest blessings in the world is to have parents to call mom and dad.” – Jim DeMint
It is only when you become a parent yourself that you realize what an enormous sacrifice and how much hard work it is to raise a kid. Then you start feeling guilty that you never really appreciated what your parents did for you. If you get a chance before they leave forever, tell them what you feel and how much you will miss them. Here are 8 things I wish I could tell my parents.
1. I am grateful for the role models you provided
Strong ethics and hard work marked you as special. They were your hallmarks. You gave me the role models to follow and I will never forget that, and will teach my kids the same. You taught me that there were no short cuts and you encouraged me to study hard. You did not get too upset when the report cards read, “He should try harder.”Advertising
2. I love the way you helped others
You went out of your way to help neighbors and friends who were experiencing difficult times and you demonstrated your values by taking action. If our neighbour lost her keys, Dad was there to tell her to retrace her steps. It worked every time!
3. I now know your standards were never too high
When you taught me that there was only one way to do anything – the right way – I thought you were far too strict. But there was never any question about shaming us in public, which is so popular nowadays. Now I know what is always right and that shoddy shortcuts and manipulative tactics will never pay off in the long term.
4. I love the way you encouraged us to work and earn money
You demonstrated a hard work ethic. I was allowed to work at the age of 17 in a laundry for two months, which was difficult, but taught me many life lessons I will never forget. Then I had an astonishing range of summer jobs such as bar person, lab assistant, door to door salesman, and fruit picker. This taught me the value of money and how to save for emergencies.Advertising
5. I am grateful you never intervened at school
I had problems at school, but you never intervened because you taught us to fend for ourselves. There were cases of bullying, sporting failures and disappointing exam results but you were never going to intervene on our behalf. We knew that we had to stand on our own two feet. You allowed us to fail and learn some tough life lessons. We were astonished when parents of delinquents and bullies were constantly ringing up the Principal to protest about the suspension of their little pets.
6. I am grateful for the chores we had to do
I complained at the time, but now I know the true value of helping out around the house. My mother worked, so we all had to muscle in and get things on the table by a certain time. We learned great skills and my ironing, cooking and gardening skills are still admired. Thank goodness you never spoiled us.
7. I thank you for the gift of reading
We were encouraged to read from early on. I still have my first Ladybird book, “Dick Whittington Goes to London.” Other kids never read anything and they grew up to be bigoted and badly behaved. Reading was an eye opener to the real world and I will never forget that wonderful gift you gave us.Advertising
“From your parents you learn love and laughter and how to put one foot before the other. But when books are opened you discover that you have wings.” – Helen Hayes
8. I thank you for teaching me about gratitude
“Count your blessings,” was my mother’s refrain. Every day, she reminded us to be grateful and that is the most important lesson my parents ever taught me. She just knew instinctively that was the secret to happiness and success. She would laugh now at the research which shows that adolescents who are taught to be grateful do better at school and suffer from less depression and envy. Everybody knows that, but she actually practised it and I am so grateful for that. Thanks Mom!
“Children are grateful when Santa Claus puts in their stockings gifts of toys or sweets. Could I not be grateful to Santa Claus when he puts in my stockings the gift of two miraculous legs? We thank people for birthday presents of cigars and slippers. Can I thank no one for the birthday present of birth?”- G.K. Chesterton
Featured photo credit: rioBapt 013/ marco antonio torres via flickr.com
Last Updated on January 18, 2019
7 Ways To Deal With Negative People
Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.
But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.
1. Limit the time you spend with them.
First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.
In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.
Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.
2. Speak up for yourself.
Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.
3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”
This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.
But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.
4. Don’t make their problems your problems.
Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.
This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.
Why else would they be sharing this with you?
5. Change the subject.
When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.
Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.
6. Talk about solutions, not problems.
Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.
I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.
You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”
Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.
7. Leave them behind.
Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.
If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.
That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.
You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.