Advertising
Advertising

What You Should Really Do When You’re Feeling Upset

What You Should Really Do When You’re Feeling Upset

I bet you know at least one person who somehow always has everything under control – you never see them sad, anxious, or furious. So, how do they do it? Having everything handled at all times practically implies having a superpower to us mortals, doesn’t it?

Well, considering the fact that calm people are only human, we can come to the conclusion that this is something we need to work on and develop step by step.

You probably aren’t even aware of how damaging anger is for you. Recently, I came to realize that I spend way too much time trying to deal with anger issues and that my methods are simply wrong. It’s not about never getting upset – it’s about learning how to cope with things and not letting your anger take over.

Advertising

Don’t Keep It In

Most people are too polite to react to a certain situation that causes them to feel upset, or on the other hand, they overreact. It’s very important not to keep your frustrations bottled in, no matter which area of your life they are related to. By staying silent and doing nothing about it, you’ll only allow stress to build up and eat you up from the inside. Besides, your problems aren’t going to solve themselves, are they?

Write, Paint, and Play

02 Write, Paint & Play

    If you’re artistic, this should be the first thing to turn to. Having a talent isn’t something that should be ignored, especially if it can help you deal with your issues. On the other hand, signing up for an art class of any sort will allow you to focus that negative energy into something creative. This is a great way to change the way you deal with your emotions. The third, and equally creative, option is to start a DIY project — if you want to change something about yourself, this decision should reflect in your surroundings as well.

    Advertising

    Music, Books, and Movies

    When you’re stressed out, visiting your comfort zone isn’t a bad idea. There’s nothing more effective when it comes to dealing with your blue emotions than watching your favorite movie, spending an afternoon with your favorite book, or playing your favorite album and letting the memories it triggers wash over you. Spending a couple of days like this is absolutely acceptable, but try not to get dragged into it for too long.

    Take a Break

    04 Take a Break

      Maybe all you need is a small break. Every now and then you need to give yourself the privilege to do nothing for an entire day. This should be the time to allow others to take care of you, not the other way around. Having a spa day is something that always works for me — it’s extremely beneficial for both your mind and body. Besides, everyone deserves some pampering from time to time.

      Advertising

      Talk It Out

      Once you’re a bit calmer, and that initial emotional flood has subsided, it’s much easier to figure out the right course of action, but you need to verbalize your thoughts. Having a friend over, talking to a family member, or making an appointment with your therapist will be more than helpful when it comes to figuring things out. A healthy decision requires at least a couple of different points of view, and you shouldn’t hesitate from asking for help.

      Make Yourself Useful

      06 Useful

        When something hits you right on the nerve, you need to allow your mind to work it out. Trying to calm yourself by force won’t get you anywhere. So, you need to give enough space for your brain to cool off and you need to keep your hands busy. Therefore, after a few deep slow breaths, you need to roll up your sleeves and start cleaning or organizing — anything that will make you feel useful and productive. This isn’t a random suggestion — actions like this help your brain work out various issues much faster.

        Advertising

        Don’t Repeat Your Mistakes

        As I already mentioned, you can’t expect that repeating one thing can possibly result differently. There’s nothing wrong in making a mistake, but repeating that same mistake over and over again can only make you feel more and more upset. There’s a clear path here — when you make a mistake, you should determine what went wrong, remember it, and try really hard not to repeat it. You should look at this procedure as if it were an investment into your mental health and your future happiness.

        Finally, deciding that you want to become a calm person, who manages all tasks and issues by searching for a reasonable solution, is a healthy resolution, but you can’t expect all of this to happen overnight. Give your mind enough time to take it all in, apply one method at a time and you’ll be more than just fine — you’ll be happy.

        Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

        More by this author

        Being Asked a Tricky Interview Question? Give These Skillful Responses to Earn Extra Time 6 Useful Gadgets Every Proud Workaholic Should Own How Not to Get Ripped Off When Buying Your First Car How to Show Affection without Looking Needy or Being Clingy When Things Get Serious: How to Go from “Single” to “In a Relationship”

        Trending in Communication

        1 What Is Life About? 9 Ways to Find Your Meaning in Life 2 7 Things To Remember When You Feel Broken Inside 3 Focus On Yourself, Because Most Of The Time No One Really Cares 4 10 Principles for Success to Live Your Dream Life 5 10 Powerful Ways to Be More Confident

        Read Next

        Advertising
        Advertising
        Advertising

        Last Updated on August 10, 2020

        10 Principles for Success to Live Your Dream Life

        10 Principles for Success to Live Your Dream Life

        Are you stressed out and overwhelmed, wishing you had more time to do the things that really matter? Are you ready to do something better, something special in your life or your career?

        If you’re ready to do what you want in life, then the 10 principles of success are what you need to follow.

        You were born with a gift that no one else in the world can express like you. When you dance to your own music, you naturally develop your innate abilities and excel in work and life. You are a total rock star. But when you live someone else’s idea of who you should be, it throws off your groove.

        Many people—maybe you—stopped following their dreams way too early in life because their talents were ignored, minimized, or shamed. They didn’t have the chops to win an American Idol competition or nab an Olympic gold medal, so they stopped expressing their inborn gifts altogether.

        You don’t need to be an award winner to rock your life. Living your dream life is about discovering your superpowers and feeling vibrant and joyful when you use them. It’s about owning what makes you unique and finding like-minded people to support you.

        Here are 10 success principles to help you live a rich and rewarding life on your terms that have worked with thousands of people in my workshops and will work for you, too.

        1. Get a Hobby to Move Closer to Your Dreams

        If you never became a professional dancer or a world-renowned author, it does NOT mean you should stop dancing or writing! These activities make you come alive, even if you “only” do them as favorite pastimes.

        Engaging in a hobby is one of the most important success principles you can follow to move closer to your dreams.

        When you try something creative for the first time or in a long while, you begin to see opportunities at work and in life that you were unaware of before. You also feel happier and more energized, according to a recent study from New Zealand.[1]

        Some of my most burned-out executive clients reinvigorated their careers by discovering a creative outlet that refueled them after the workday ended. Research at San Francisco State University shows that having a hobby lowers stress and helps you succeed at work.[2]

        So, give yourself permission to try new things and revisit old passions you gave up long ago. Setting aside just one hour a week for personal exploration can significantly change your life.

        Who knows? Your creative outlet could transform into a thriving business or lead to a new profession down the road.

        Advertising

        2. Focus on Your Strengths, Not Your Weaknesses

        Did you know that you are more likely to succeed when you develop your natural strengths rather than work on your weaknesses? The problem is that you probably don’t know where your true talents lie.

        Here are a few options to help you discover your unique strengths. You can:

        • Take the VIA Character Strengths Survey[3]
        • Try Gallup’s CliftonStrengths Assessment[4]
        • Answer a few Superpower Questions

        Once you understand what makes you tick, you can use these skills at work and your personal life to get more done in less time. If you boost your unique abilities through practice and study, you can accelerate your career and become a leader in a field that matters to you. It’s worth investing in yourself this way.

        3. Jumping off a Cliff is NOT Required

        Here’s the deal: most people are too afraid to change. When participants first come to my workshops, they tell me they have mouths to feed, bills to pay, and fear that if they follow their dreams, someone will get hurt.

        The old saying “leap and the net shall appear” does not comfort them. Because they are hesitant to plunge into the unknown, they believe their only option is to stay put where they are in life. Can you relate?

        You do not have to sacrifice the life you have now to start a new one. I was a psychology professor by day and singer by night for years before I transitioned into a full-time music career.

        Just take a little time out each week to do what enlivens you through a hobby, volunteer work, etc. Get a feel for it.

        Is it what you really want? If so, increase the time you spend doing it and make the transition when the time feels right.

        4. Give Your Inner Critic Some Love

        The main culprit that keeps you from stepping outside your comfort zone and getting the life of your dreams is KCRP or K-CRAP – the radio station that plays 24/7 in your head. The moment you try to do something interesting with your life it slaps you down with such chart-topping killer hooks as “Who do you think you are?” and “You’ll never be good enough!”.

        Have you ever noticed that KCRP’s mean-spirited DJ sounds like your parents, teachers, bosses, and other authority figures who shut you down creatively? These folks don’t need to stifle you any longer (although they often still do) because your inner critic does it for them. That keeps you stuck in a rut.

        To break free, try thinking of this DJ as a gruff old grandfather who gives you crap to keep you safe. Remember, this grumpy grandpa is woefully out of touch with the times. So, his stern opinions don’t really matter much, do they? Give him a pat on the back for his good intentions, and put your focus back on what makes you come alive.

        This success principle will give you the courage to venture into the unknown where you can dance to the beat of your own drummer.

        Advertising

        5. Embrace Your Inner Self

        Many of us don’t go after our dreams because we’re afraid folks will find out how odd or strange we are. But our little eccentricities often turn out to be our greatest strengths. Yes, it’s good to be quirky.

        Odds are, you lost track of your true passions and talents before you were even old enough to know you were getting off-track. You became slowly “adulterated” by learning to:

        • Take on family roles that don’t match who you really are.
        • Spit back what teachers taught you in school rather than risk getting bad grades for being original.
        • Hide parts of yourself that don’t seem acceptable to certain social groups.

        The price for fitting in is that you may wind up leading a life that doesn’t fit you all that well. Your true calling becomes clear when you embrace what makes you different from others and allow yourself to stand out from the crowd, even if it feels awkward. Often, the very qualities you view as your flaws are your greatest gifts.

        Here’s How to Listen to Your Inner Voice for Greater Fulfillment.

        6. See the Bigger Picture to Find Your True Calling

        I cannot stress the importance of this success principle enough. Your true calling is right in front of you. But you may miss it because you’re looking for it in the wrong place.

        To “see” it clearly, try widening your point of view.

        Case in point: Maria felt she needed to retire early from being a police detective, so she could travel abroad. I encouraged Maria to think of ways that she could continue to serve as a law enforcer (a career she loved) and travel overseas at the same time.

        A few months later, Maria landed a job with the United Nations in Bosnia training the local police force to understand and embrace human rights procedures.

        Like Maria, you are an everyday rock star capable of accomplishing greater things than you can imagine. Is what you’re looking for right in front of you, too? Do you have an inkling of what it may be?

        Look beyond your day-to-day activities, your current job, and even the town you live in. View your life from an eagle’s perspective and be open to new possibilities.

        7. Try a Little Wish-List Magic

        Pretend I’m your fairy godmother and I give you permission right now to be your most magnificent self. What kind of life would be music to your ears? It doesn’t matter whether it seems unattainable or even downright crazy. Write it down on a wish list.

        Get quiet. Be honest. Think big.

        Advertising

        What would you like your career, your relationships, your health, your finances, and your spiritual life to be like? Jot down enough details so that your wishes seem tangible to you. Then, look at this list every morning before you start your day and every night before you go to sleep.

        Sounds silly? It’s not. It works! Permitting yourself to daydream about a rich and fulfilling life is the first step to manifesting it.

        8. Take Breaks to Get Clues About Your Ideal Future

        Did you know that working straight through to a deadline leads to diminishing returns? Research shows that taking a break for 15 minutes every 75 to 90 minutes can help you recharge, refresh your focus, and get more done in less time.[5]

        Wait, it gets better! A Stanford study shows that walking increases your creative output increases by 60 percent. Doing repetitive activities such as walking, running, riding your bike, swimming, and sweeping allow solutions to problems to pop into your mind out of nowhere.[6]

        What does this success principle have to do with creating your dream life?

        These mini-breaks allow you to get vital clues for what to do next to attain your ideal future. Plus, you won’t waste precious time and energy getting lost in other people’s agendas.

        9. Take Action on Your Inspired Ideas

        Once an inspired thought pops into your mind, take action.

        This is one of the most powerful success principles for turning your dreams into reality; the sooner the better. Whatever it is—from calling an old friend to taking a new route home—be sure to do it!

        Pay attention to your oddball hunches. You need to go after what you want, not just dream about it. As comedian Jim Carrey warns,

        “You can’t just visualize and go eat a sandwich.”

        10. Count Your Rockstar Moments

        Still not sure you have what it takes to get your dream life? This final success principle is guaranteed to help.

        Make a list of everything you’ve ever accomplished. As you read back through it, put a star next to each item, and let it sink in.

        Advertising

        You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how good you’ll feel about yourself afterward. You’ll also see how effective you’ve been in the past at getting what you want. You’ve succeeded before, you can succeed again.

        You already rock. You just need to own it. Trust me, you’ve got this!

        Final Thoughts

        Eleanor Roosevelt said,

        “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

        Following these success principles will help you find the time and energy to do the things that really matter and live with clear intention.

        By spending just one hour a week doing something you love, focusing on your strengths and achievements, embracing what makes you different, and acting on inspired ideas, you can create a life that is a perfect fit for you, step-by-step.

        If you don’t have a clue about what your dream life could look like yet, don’t worry. Your heart knows. It has been “talking” to you for a long time. It’s just being muffled by KCRP, buried under a lot of “shoulds” and fear.

        This article can also help you figure out the life you truly want to live: How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up.

        Stand still, get quiet, and listen. It’s constantly telling you what you need to do to realize your own rockstar potential. It may be just a whisper now, but the more you pay attention to it, the louder it will get, and the easier it will be to follow.

        More About Success in Life

        Featured photo credit: Rahul Dey via unsplash.com

        Reference

        Read Next