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What You Should Really Do When You’re Feeling Upset

What You Should Really Do When You’re Feeling Upset

I bet you know at least one person who somehow always has everything under control – you never see them sad, anxious, or furious. So, how do they do it? Having everything handled at all times practically implies having a superpower to us mortals, doesn’t it?

Well, considering the fact that calm people are only human, we can come to the conclusion that this is something we need to work on and develop step by step.

You probably aren’t even aware of how damaging anger is for you. Recently, I came to realize that I spend way too much time trying to deal with anger issues and that my methods are simply wrong. It’s not about never getting upset – it’s about learning how to cope with things and not letting your anger take over.

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Don’t Keep It In

Most people are too polite to react to a certain situation that causes them to feel upset, or on the other hand, they overreact. It’s very important not to keep your frustrations bottled in, no matter which area of your life they are related to. By staying silent and doing nothing about it, you’ll only allow stress to build up and eat you up from the inside. Besides, your problems aren’t going to solve themselves, are they?

Write, Paint, and Play

02 Write, Paint & Play

    If you’re artistic, this should be the first thing to turn to. Having a talent isn’t something that should be ignored, especially if it can help you deal with your issues. On the other hand, signing up for an art class of any sort will allow you to focus that negative energy into something creative. This is a great way to change the way you deal with your emotions. The third, and equally creative, option is to start a DIY project — if you want to change something about yourself, this decision should reflect in your surroundings as well.

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    Music, Books, and Movies

    When you’re stressed out, visiting your comfort zone isn’t a bad idea. There’s nothing more effective when it comes to dealing with your blue emotions than watching your favorite movie, spending an afternoon with your favorite book, or playing your favorite album and letting the memories it triggers wash over you. Spending a couple of days like this is absolutely acceptable, but try not to get dragged into it for too long.

    Take a Break

    04 Take a Break

      Maybe all you need is a small break. Every now and then you need to give yourself the privilege to do nothing for an entire day. This should be the time to allow others to take care of you, not the other way around. Having a spa day is something that always works for me — it’s extremely beneficial for both your mind and body. Besides, everyone deserves some pampering from time to time.

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      Talk It Out

      Once you’re a bit calmer, and that initial emotional flood has subsided, it’s much easier to figure out the right course of action, but you need to verbalize your thoughts. Having a friend over, talking to a family member, or making an appointment with your therapist will be more than helpful when it comes to figuring things out. A healthy decision requires at least a couple of different points of view, and you shouldn’t hesitate from asking for help.

      Make Yourself Useful

      06 Useful

        When something hits you right on the nerve, you need to allow your mind to work it out. Trying to calm yourself by force won’t get you anywhere. So, you need to give enough space for your brain to cool off and you need to keep your hands busy. Therefore, after a few deep slow breaths, you need to roll up your sleeves and start cleaning or organizing — anything that will make you feel useful and productive. This isn’t a random suggestion — actions like this help your brain work out various issues much faster.

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        Don’t Repeat Your Mistakes

        As I already mentioned, you can’t expect that repeating one thing can possibly result differently. There’s nothing wrong in making a mistake, but repeating that same mistake over and over again can only make you feel more and more upset. There’s a clear path here — when you make a mistake, you should determine what went wrong, remember it, and try really hard not to repeat it. You should look at this procedure as if it were an investment into your mental health and your future happiness.

        Finally, deciding that you want to become a calm person, who manages all tasks and issues by searching for a reasonable solution, is a healthy resolution, but you can’t expect all of this to happen overnight. Give your mind enough time to take it all in, apply one method at a time and you’ll be more than just fine — you’ll be happy.

        Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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        Last Updated on September 17, 2018

        7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

        7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

        Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

        Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

        When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

        Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

        1. You’re depressed about your home life.

        No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

        However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

        If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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        When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

        You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

        2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

        Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

        If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

        You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

        If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

        3. You can’t stop snooping.

        Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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        I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

        Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

        So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

        It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

        If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

        4. You’re afraid of commitment.

        If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

        Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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        No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

        If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

        Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

        5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

        If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

        Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

        Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

        Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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        If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

        6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

        When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

        When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

        If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

        7. You chase past feelings.

        It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

        You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

        When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

        Final thoughts

        If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

        Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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