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5 Cognitive Biases That Have Kept You From Achieving Full Potential

5 Cognitive Biases That Have Kept You From Achieving Full Potential

We like to think of ourselves as smart, rational, logical people who make good decisions. But in reality, we sometimes have poor judgment and make really bad choices. Every day, we have cognitive biases that influence our thinking. Why should we care? These biases have a major influence on the decision making process.

We have hundreds of cognitive biases, and some keep us from achieving our full potential. Psychologists have been researching them for decades. Here are some of the biases that could be holding you back:

1. The Current Moment Bias

This bias feeds the immediate gratification effect. We would much rather have pleasure now and save pain for later. If you have ever indulged in unhealthy food choices while trying hard to lose weight, or tend to overspend money instead of saving for the future, you have been victim of the current moment bias.

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What to do:

  • When you want to make a big purchase, wait for a predetermined amount of time before you purchase the item. This will help you avoid splurging on things you don’t love. For example, plan to wait one week for purchases that amount to $100 and one month for purchases $1000 or more.
  • Plan healthy meals ahead of time so you are less likely to chow down on junk food when you walk in the door from work. Decide in advance what you’ll order at restaurants to avoid making unhealthy spur-of-the-moment dinner choices.

2. The Confirmation Bias

The confirmation bias, according to Science Daily, is a tendency to search for or interpret information in a way that confirms your preconceptions. This can hold you back from achieving full potential, because being closed-minded can limit your ability to learn, grow, and improve yourself and your life.

What to do:

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  • Be open to other points of view and new possibilities. Be aware that you have certain beliefs, and be willing to evaluate your belief systems objectively.

3. The Framing Effect

Framing information, either positively or negatively, can have a huge impact on how it is received.

Here’s an example of the framing effect in an article by Sam McRoberts:

  • Doctor A: “With proper treatment, you have an 80 percent chance of a full recovery.”
  • Doctor B: “There’s a 20 percent chance that you’ll die after being treated for this illness.”

Although Doctors A and B are providing the same information, they are presenting it differently, which can greatly affect patients’ perceptions. An 80 percent change of recovery sounds much better than a 20 percent chance of dying.

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How does this hold you back? When information is presented to you either positively or negatively, it can cause you to make poor decisions.

What to do:

  • Be aware of how information is presented to you in order to persuade you to take a certain action.
  • Look at both sides of statistics. For example, if you are told “this meat is 90% lean,” be aware that it is the same as hearing “this beef is 10% fat.”
  • Consider how you present information to others.

4. The Bandwagon Effect

The bandwagon effect is when we follow the actions or beliefs of a large group of people. According to Dr. Mohammed Ali N M, we do this either because we desire to conform, or because we receive our information from others. The bandwagon effect can hold us back at times when we follow trends and fads without doing our research.

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What to do:

  • Put careful thought into your decisions, and don’t jump into something just because “everyone else” tells you to.

5. The Projection Bias

The projection bias describes our assumption that other people think like we do. We tend to overestimate how common our thoughts and beliefs are. We assume that our way of thinking about things is common among the majority. This can hold us back significantly in life because it causes us to believe we know exactly what people want. We tend to assume we know the priorities, motivations, attitudes, and beliefs of others, when in reality we don’t. This can affect us negatively in relationships in our personal lives and in our careers.

What to do:

  • Make a point of asking people questions instead of assuming they think like you do.

Simply being aware of these biases can help you live a better life. Each day, we make thousands of decisions, and realizing the biases that affect your judgment can help you make better informed, well-thought decisions.

Featured photo credit: The Thinker / Dan McKay via flickr.com

More by this author

Dr. Kerry Petsinger

Entrepreneur, Mindset & Performance Coach, & Doctor of Physical Therapy

Feeling Stuck? How to Never Get Stuck in Life Again How to Find the Purpose of Life (A Case Study of a High-Powered Woman) Don’t like your job? Here are some solutions. How People Make Decisions That Are Bad For Them How to Have a Successful Career and a Fulfilling Personal Life

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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