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4 Thoughts You Have that May Be Holding You Back

4 Thoughts You Have that May Be Holding You Back
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Why are most of us struggling to obtain success? You likely experience a pattern of thoughts that hold you back so you can create the success you need. From thinking your lack of success is the fault of others to negative past experiences, you may be holding yourself back. Here are a few main ways you are holding yourself back:

Blaming Others

This is a very common thought process that results in many people not taking action on their goals. They get held back in the thought that it’s the fault of their parents, teachers, government or somebody else. But when we get adulthood we struggle to switch from being reliant on others to get by, to being responsible for ourselves.

So, we blame others for not handing us success. We say things like “How dare the government cut my benefits, how am I supposed to live?” or “I would have decent education if I just had a good teacher at school”.

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What we should be doing is looking at ourselves and wondering why we aren’t getting the pay rise or promotion or getting that job in the first place. We must put in the work to reap the rewards and not blame others for our own misfortune. Nobody is going to give you more than you are worth and just hand you success on the plate because you think that is what you are due. We need to take responsibility for our own lives and create our own success.

A Lack Of Resources

“I can’t start on online business, I just don’t have to time, money or skills to do it.” “I can’t go to the gym because it is just too far away and too expensive.” “I can’t find my perfect partner because I just don’t have the time to go out and meet people.” Sound familiar?

We commonly use these excuses to get out of working hard on even the things that we want to do and makes us happy. We spend hours a day in front of the television and then say we don’t have time to go to the gym or take a class. We waste our money on things we don’t need, then say we don’t have the money to start a business. We need to turn this on the head and instead of making excuses, we need to get up out of our comfort zone and do the things we have to do to create the success and happiness we deserve and want.

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Fear Of Failure

A lot of people don’t aim for that high because they automatically think they will fail and be a laughingstock of their friends, family and colleagues. When what they should be thinking is that failure is part of learning and creating success. It is legend that Thomas Edison failed 10,000 times before inventing the light bulb.

And he invented other things along the way. How many times did you mumble your words when you learnt to speak, how many times did you fall of your bike when you learnt to ride it, how many times to did you fall ever when you learnt to walk? Failure is a prerequisite to success, embrace it.

A Negative Past

A common struggle with people and their thoughts is maybe there was a past struggle or affliction that can hold us back. Growing up with illness and at a result we struggle with school and learning. Maybe not having the support structure that is seen as the norm can hold us back.

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This is understandable to a certain extent, but how many times have we heard stories of people, like rapper 50 Cent, who lived a life of crime and even nearly died after being shot, then went on to being a successful musician.

And there are many others who are brought up in broken homes with very little and can’t see a way out. You just got to find the right key to the right door. And that key is hard work on the right things and the door is your dream lifestyle. Take action now, become an inspiration.

We all have negative thoughts, it is how we use them that either holds us back or creates the success we crave.

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How do you handle you negative thoughts?  Do they hold you back?

Featured photo credit: Clement/Luigi Morante via imcreator.com

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Last Updated on July 21, 2021

The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)

The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)
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No matter how well you set up your todo list and calendar, you aren’t going to get things done unless you have a reliable way of reminding yourself to actually do them.

Anyone who’s spent an hour writing up the perfect grocery list only to realize at the store that they forgot to bring the list understands the importance of reminders.

Reminders of some sort or another are what turn a collection of paper goods or web services into what David Allen calls a “trusted system.”[1]

A lot of people resist getting better organized. No matter what kind of chaotic mess, their lives are on a day-to-day basis because they know themselves well enough to know that there’s after all that work they’ll probably forget to take their lists with them when it matters most.

Fortunately, there are ways to make sure we remember to check our lists — and to remember to do the things we need to do, whether they’re on a list or not.

In most cases, we need a lot of pushing at first, for example by making a reminder, but eventually we build up enough momentum that doing what needs doing becomes a habit — not an exception.

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From Creating Reminders to Building Habits

A habit is any act we engage in automatically without thinking about it.

For example, when you brush your teeth, you don’t have to think about every single step from start to finish; once you stagger up to the sink, habit takes over (and, really, habit got you to the sink in the first place) and you find yourself putting toothpaste on your toothbrush, putting the toothbrush in your mouth (and never your ear!), spitting, rinsing, and so on without any conscious effort at all.

This is a good thing because if you’re anything like me, you’re not even capable of conscious thought when you’re brushing your teeth.

The good news is you already have a whole set of productivity habits you’ve built up over the course of your life. The bad news is, a lot of them aren’t very good habits.

That quick game Frogger to “loosen you up” before you get working, that always ends up being 6 hours of Frogger –– that’s a habit. And as you know, habits like that can be hard to break — which is one of the reasons why habits are so important in the first place.

Once you’ve replaced an unproductive habit with a more productive one, the new habit will be just as hard to break as the old one was. Getting there, though, can be a chore!

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The old saw about anything you do for 21 days becoming a habit has been pretty much discredited, but there is a kernel of truth there — anything you do long enough becomes an ingrained behavior, a habit. Some people pick up habits quickly, others over a longer time span, but eventually, the behaviors become automatic.

Building productive habits, then, is a matter of repeating a desired behavior over a long enough period of time that you start doing it without thinking.

But how do you remember to do that? And what about the things that don’t need to be habits — the one-off events, like taking your paycheck stubs to your mortgage banker or making a particular phone call?

The trick to reminding yourself often enough for something to become a habit, or just that one time that you need to do something, is to interrupt yourself in some way in a way that triggers the desired behavior.

The Wonderful Thing About Triggers — Reminders

A trigger is anything that you put “in your way” to remind you to do something. The best triggers are related in some way to the behavior you want to produce.

For instance, if you want to remember to take something to work that you wouldn’t normally take, you might place it in front of the door so you have to pick it up to get out of your house.

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But anything that catches your attention and reminds you to do something can be a trigger. An alarm clock or kitchen timer is a perfect example — when the bell rings, you know to wake up or take the quiche out of the oven. (Hopefully you remember which trigger goes with which behavior!)

If you want to instill a habit, the thing to do is to place a trigger in your path to remind you to do whatever it is you’re trying to make into a habit — and keep it there until you realize that you’ve already done the thing it’s supposed to remind you of.

For instance, a post-it saying “count your calories” placed on the refrigerator door (or maybe on your favorite sugary snack itself)  can help you remember that you’re supposed to be cutting back — until one day you realize that you don’t need to be reminded anymore.

These triggers all require a lot of forethought, though — you have to remember that you need to remember something in the first place.

For a lot of tasks, the best reminder is one that’s completely automated — you set it up and then forget about it, trusting the trigger to pop up when you need it.

How to Make a Reminder Works for You

Computers and ubiquity of mobile Internet-connected devices make it possible to set up automatic triggers for just about anything.

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Desktop software like Outlook will pop up reminders on your desktop screen, and most online services go an extra step and send reminders via email or SMS text message — just the thing to keep you on track. Sandy, for example, just does automatic reminders.

Automated reminders can help you build habits — but it can also help you remember things that are too important to be trusted even to habit. Diabetics who need to take their insulin, HIV patients whose medication must be taken at an exact time in a precise order, phone calls that have to be made exactly on time, and other crucial events require triggers even when the habit is already in place.

My advice is to set reminders for just about everything — have them sent to your mobile phone in some way (either through a built-in calendar or an online service that sends updates) so you never have to think about it — and never have to worry about forgetting.

Your weekly review is a good time to enter new reminders for the coming weeks or months. I simply don’t want to think about what I’m supposed to be doing; I want to be reminded so I can think just about actually doing it.

I tend to use my calendar for reminders, mostly, though I do like Sandy quite a bit.

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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Reference

[1] Getting Things Done: Trusted System

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