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15 Things To Remember If You Love A Person With Asthma

15 Things To Remember If You Love A Person With Asthma

Loving a person isn’t easy. Love is a choice: committing your time, dedication and care to that certain person in your life, understanding and accepting them for who they are and staying by their side as they go through the tides of life. When loving a person with asthma, the situation is more delicate and calls for greater sensitivity towards their feelings and emotional needs.

With severe asthma, your daily life is muddled with incidents of breathlessness; you’re constantly troubled by the possible threat of an asthma attack, coupled with recurring hospital admissions despite heeding medical advice and medication. Every asthmatic episode further increases a person’s psychological suffering, with common feelings including: fear and anxiety, denial and feeling a loss of control.

As someone loving a person with asthma, you can do things to ease their struggle with asthma and to be that pillar of support they can rely on in their time of need. Here are 15 things to remember if you love a person with asthma:

1. They want you to know how to help them during an asthma attack

Defined by the World Health Organization, asthma is a respiratory condition that is present in all age groups, but typically starts in childhood. This condition has the distinctive quality of frequent and repeated attacks of breathlessness and wheezing, which again is specific to every individual. As each asthma case is unique, it’s important to identify the best way to assist your loved one when they are faced with an impending asthma attack, or ongoing series of asthma attacks.

Check their sitting position. Get your loved one into a comfortable sitting position as it is easier to breathe sitting up rather than lying down. This will aid your loved one in having increased and regular air flow into their lungs, assisting them to recover faster.

Be clear about their personalized response to asthma attacks. Be conscious of whether they use an inhaler and if so, where to locate it in the event of an attack. If your loved one has severe asthma, in most situations their medical consultant would have provided a card with instructions.
Where they don’t use an inhaler, record down their emergency contact somewhere convenient for your reference.

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2. They want you to be sensitive

One of the consequences of having asthma is being limited to activities that are not strenuous (this can vary depending on the severity of asthma). Not all people are aware from a young age that they have asthma. For those who are only conscious of it at an older age, this can suddenly create hiccups in their everyday life, especially for those people who are involved in highly strenuous sports or an active lifestyle.

In cases like these, people require some time to adjust and accept their new lifestyle. Be sensitive with them during this road to acceptance, encourage them, and help them to realize that their asthma will not define their life. It is up to them to decide how their life pans out, and with your sensitivity and guidance, it can be a brighter and better future.

3. They want you to be understanding

Be understanding to your loved one. There are limitations to what they can do with their condition and because of their asthma, they might choose to do things in a different way than others would. Remember that your loved one is a different person from you. You cannot expect them to do things that you want to do, or to live their life in the way you would want them to. The beauty of love is that you accept them for the decisions they make. You accept them because you love them and it is no different with someone who has asthma. Make a greater effort to appreciate their style of thinking and accept the range of activities that they can do. Get them what they need, for example an air purifier for asthma. Where possible, don’t pressure them to over-exert themselves as ultimately this will be detrimental for both their health and your relationship.

4. They want you to be aware

Be aware about the frequency and pattern of your loved one’s asthma attacks. Also, learn how to read their warning signs. Ask your loved one about their previous experiences and take note of their usual triggers and the regularity of their attacks so that you will be able to support them and anticipate potential problems.

5. They find it easier to feel comfortable when you are knowledgeable about their condition

Do research and learn more about your loved one’s respiratory condition. By educating yourself about asthma, not only are you more knowledgeable about the illness but you become better equipped at dealing with the illness as well. Go online and read up about natural asthma remedies such as herbs and natural dietary supplements, read about your loved one’s medication and the possible side-effects that may occur. Read up widely on people who are asthmatics and how they have struggled and conquered their battle with asthma so you can learn to offer great support to your loved one. Famous people who have experienced asthma include: Elizabeth Taylor, Jason Alexander, Diane Keaton, and Martin Scorsese.

6. They want you to think about how your illness could impact them

Having asthma means that a person is more susceptible to respiratory illnesses and when they do contract the illness, it can create significant health problems for them. As such, if you are ill with a cold or the flu, even though these appear to be non-serious conditions to the everyday person, they can actually be a life-threatening illness for asthmatics. If your illness could threaten their health, keep away.

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7. They want you to be positive and encouraging

One of the psychological effects of asthma is its detrimental impact on self-esteem. Especially in cases of more severe asthma, these people tend to have negative body image which leads to alienation from close friends. Even where they do have an asthma action plan or their asthma isn’t obvious, it’s not something that they include in their self-introduction or reveal to the people that they have known for a short period of time. The decision to tell their friends about their asthma often requires deep contemplation and they usually wait for a period of time until they are convinced that they can trust that person with their secret.

Most people with asthma are even more doubtful about dating. They’re hesitant because of their fear of being a burden to their significant other, their fear of not being accepted, and their fear of not being good enough for the other person because of their asthmatic condition. If you are in a romantic relationship with a person with asthma, encourage them. Assure them that you accept and love them fully. Show them that you love them and will always be their rock in times of need. Inspire them to look to the future with hope and love. Remember to express yourself not just through words, but your actions too.

8. They want to be kept away from smoke

Smoke is hazardous to everybody, but even more so for asthmatics. Avoid smoking or putting your loved one in situations where they are exposed to second hand smoke. Research has suggested that passive smoking may actually be more harmful than the act of smoking itself. The smoke that is produced at the end of the cigarette is created from far more harmful substances than the chemicals in the smoke inhaled at the front of the cigarette. For asthmatics, second hand smoke can trigger symptoms like wheezing, coughing and shortness of breath which are incredibly painful experiences.

9. They benefit from dust-free surroundings

Where possible, strive to rid your home of asthma triggers. Dust mites, mould, pets, cockroaches and daily household irritants are the main sources of asthmatic triggers. By removing these triggers, you can help to decrease the rate of asthma attacks your loved one experiences, lowering stress levels, pain and suffering.

If you wish to remove dust mites from your house, you have to keep your house clean. Some suggestions include: swapping your pillow and mattress covers to allergen-proof and zippered covers, washing your bedding in hot water at least once a week to kill germs, and to make sure that you keep your house neat and tidy, free from clutter.

To prevent mold and mildew from appearing in your house, some suggestions include: removing any indoor plants, layering your walls with a mold inhibitor when painting, and frequently airing the areas of your house which are usually damp and humid.

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To prevent insects from entering your home, make sure that you close all windows and open garbage shoots, giving them no entrance into your home. Another option is to purchase thin netting that you can layer over your windows so that flies and cockroaches are not be able to enter your home, whilst ensuring you still have ventilation in your home.

You can also buy cockroach traps or baits and put them near the garbage shoots, doors or anywhere else they are likely to enter from. Try to avoid insect sprays as these contain strong chemical products that could be highly detrimental to your loved one’s health. If you do use these sprays, ensure that you use them whilst your loved one is not at home and to air out your home for a few hours before their return.

10. They probably want you to wear less perfume/cologne

To most of us, wearing perfume or cologne is a daily ritual and we don’t really take the time to stop and think of what these strong chemical fragrances can do to our loved ones with asthma. Perfumes and colognes are one of the more common triggers for asthmatics. Perfume and perfumed cosmetic items can contain many toxins, with some medical professionals believing that these chemicals can have disastrous effects on reproduction and the risk of acquiring cancer.

For people with asthma, perfume or fragrance products will irritate their lungs. They may also have an allergic reaction which can lead to dangerous asthma attacks. Thus, when with your loved one, refrain from wearing perfume or using fragrance products as well as visiting locations like beauty or perfume retail shops.

11. They can experience health problems caused by stress

Typically, some stress is beneficial for a person since it encourages greater productivity and pushes a person to develop character. However when coping with asthma, unrestrained or extreme anxiety can exacerbate the respiratory condition. For people with asthma, stress can result in a myriad of problems such as insomnia, irritability, anti-social behavior and depression. Increased stress is also directly proportionate to the level of asthma symptoms like wheezing, coughing and panic attacks. This in turn creates further stress; such a vicious cycle can have devastating effects on your loved one’s health.

To prevent these catastrophic effects, you can help your loved one to combat stress through encouraging them to eat a healthy diet, practice breathing exercises, engage in exercise, get better rest and focus on positive thinking. Motivate your loved one to live a stress-free life.

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12. They can benefit from light exercise

Light exercise benefits people with asthma. Through exercise, their lungs and bronchial tubes will be stretched and expanded, creating larger, clearer airways and reducing the resistance in breathing. Light amounts of running (even barefoot running) can be helpful.

13. They can benefit from a healthy diet

A healthy diet is essential for managing an asthmatic condition. Try to incorporate foods containing higher amounts of vitamins C and E, beta-carotene and omega-3 fatty acids, for example, as these foods contain antioxidants which prevent cell-damage. Take care to avoid high-calorie diets, figure out your loved one’s food allergies, and take note if your loved one is allergic to preservatives in order to prevent and reduce the frequency of asthma attacks.

14. They don’t want you to make assumptions

Haven’t you heard of the saying, “when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me”? Assumptions about asthma or even about your loved one’s journey with asthma can be risky, inaccurate and hurtful. Don’t make assumptions about how your loved one thinks, how they feel and how they are coping with their situation. Although there are times where our assumptions are right, most of the time, they are incorrect and negative. Show your loved one some courtesy by asking them what they really feel instead of assuming or interpreting their actions or words through blurred vision. Negativity will hurt your relationship and we must strive to eliminate these potential obstacles wherever possible.

15. They want your love

Show love to your loved one. Find out what your loved one’s love language is and how they would prefer you to extend a helping hand or offer support. Make them their favorite foods when they return home from a long hard day, sort out the household chores for them so that they can rest and relax when they return from work, or even introduce them to your friends and important figures in your life so your loved one truly knows that they mean something to you. True, genuine acts of caring are the most important methods for demonstrating your love.

Scientific studies have long proven that loving relationships are beneficial for a person’s health. When in a relationship with someone, the both of you take care of each other and you are each other’s inspiration for living a better life and becoming a better person. Remember these 15 things, but don’t get too caught up in the specifics. As long as you love and are committed to them and your relationship, that’s more than enough.

Featured photo credit: TapGenes via 1yaj3q2k9muz1rlxii3mp8wz.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

How to Control Your Thoughts and Be the Master of Your Mind

How to Control Your Thoughts and Be the Master of Your Mind

Your mind is the most powerful tool you have for the creation of good in your life, but if not used correctly, can also be the most destructive force in your life. To control your thoughts means to influence the way you live your life.

Your mind, more specifically, your thoughts, affects your perception and therefore, your interpretation of reality. (And here’s Why Your Perception Is Your Reality)

I have heard that the average person thinks around 70,000 thoughts a day. That’s a lot, especially if they are unproductive, self-abusive, and just a general waste of energy.

You can let your thoughts run amok, but why would you? It is your mind, your thoughts; isn’t it time to take your power back? Isn’t it time to take control?

Choose to be the person who is actively, consciously thinking your thoughts. Be someone who can control your thoughts—become the master of your mind.

When you change your thoughts, you will change your feelings as well, and you will also eliminate the triggers that set off those feelings. Both of these outcomes provide you with a greater level of peace in your mind.

I currently have a few thoughts that are not of my choosing or a response from my reprogramming. I am the master of my mind, so now my mind is quite peaceful. Yours can be too!

Who Is Thinking My Thoughts?

Before you can become the master of your mind, you must recognize that you are currently at the mercy of several unwanted “squatters” living in your mind, and they are in control of your thoughts.

If you want to be the boss of them, you must know who they are and what their motivation is, and then you can take charge and evict them.

Here are four of the “squatters” in your head that create unhealthy and unproductive thoughts.

1. The Inner Critic

This is your constant abuser who is often a conglomeration of:

  • Other people’s words—many times your parents
  • Thoughts you have created based on your own or other peoples’ expectations
  • Comparing yourself to other people, including those in the media
  • The things you told yourself as a result of painful experiences such as betrayal and rejection. Your interpretation creates your self-doubt and self-blame, which are most likely undeserved in cases of rejection and betrayal.

The Inner Critic is motivated by pain, low self-esteem, lack of self-acceptance, and lack of self-love.

Why else would this person abuse you? And since this person is youwhy else would you abuse yourself? Why would you let anyone treat you this badly?

2. The Worrier

This person lives in the future—in the world of “what ifs.”

The Worrier is motivated by fear, which is often irrational and has no basis. Occasionally, this person is motivated by fear that what happened in the past will happen again.

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3. The Reactor or Troublemaker

This is the one that triggers anger, frustration, and pain. These triggers stem from unhealed wounds of the past. Any experience that is even closely related to a past wound will set him off.

This person can be set off by words or feelings and can even be set off by sounds and smells.

The Reactor has no real motivation and has poor impulse control. He is run by past programming that no longer serves you—if it ever did.

4. The Sleep Depriver

This can be a combination of any number of different squatters including the inner planner, the rehasher, and the ruminator, along with the inner critic and the worrier.

The Sleep Depriver’s motivation can be:

  • As a reaction to silence, which he fights against
  • Taking care of the business you neglected during the day
  • Self-doubt, low self-esteem, insecurity, and generalized anxiety
  • As listed above for the inner critic and worrier

How can you control these squatters?

How to Master Your Mind

You are the thinker and the observer of your thoughts. You can control your thoughts, but you must pay attention to them so you can identify “who” is running the show—this will determine which technique you will want to use.

Begin each day with the intention of paying attention to your thoughts and catching yourself when you are thinking undesirable thoughts.

There are two ways to control your thoughts:

  • Technique A – Interrupt and replace them
  • Technique B – Eliminate them altogether

This second option is what is known as peace of mind.

The technique of interrupting and replacing is a means of reprogramming your subconscious mind. Eventually, the replacement thoughts will become the “go-to” thoughts in applicable situations.

Use Technique A with the Inner Critic and Worrier and Technique B with the Reactor and Sleep Depriver.

1. For the Inner Critic

When you catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself (calling yourself names, disrespecting yourself, or berating yourself), interrupt it.

You can yell (in your mind), “Stop! No!” or, “Enough! I’m in control now.” Then, whatever your negative thought was about yourself, replace it with an opposite or counter thought or an affirmation that begins with “I am.”

For example, if your thought is, “I’m such a loser,” you can replace it with, “I am a Divine Creation of the Universal Spirit. I am a perfect spiritual being learning to master the human experience. I am a being of energy, light, and matter. I am magnificent, brilliant, and beautiful. I love and approve of myself just as I am.”

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You can also have a dialogue with yourself to discredit the ‘voice’ that created the thought—if you know whose voice it is:

“Just because so-and-so said I was a loser doesn’t make it true. It was his or her opinion, not a statement of fact. Or maybe they were joking and I took it seriously because I’m insecure.”

If you recognize that you have recurring self-critical thoughts, you can write out or pre-plan your counter thoughts or affirmation so you can be ready.

This is the first squatter you should evict, forcefully, if necessary:

  • They rile up the Worrier.
  • The names you call yourself become triggers when called those names by others, so he also maintains the presence of the Reactor.
  • They are often present when you try to fall asleep so he perpetuates the Sleep Depriver.
  • They are a bully and is verbally and emotionally abusive.
  • They are the destroyer of self-esteem. They convince you that you’re not worthy. They’re a liar! In the interest of your self-worth, get them out!

Eliminate your worst critic and you will also diminish the presence of the other three squatters.

Replace them with your new best friends who support, encourage, and enhance your life. This is a presence you want in your mind.

2. For the Worrier

Prolonged anxiety is mentally, emotionally, and physically unhealthy. It can have long-term health implications.

Fear initiates the fight or flight response, creates worry in the mind, and creates anxiety in the body. This may make it more difficult for you to control your thoughts effectively.

You should be able to recognize a “worry thought” immediately by how you feel. The physiological signs that the fight or flight response of fear has kicked in are:

  • Increased heart rate, blood pressure, or surge of adrenaline
  • Shallow breathing or breathlessness
  • Muscles tense

Use the above-stated method to interrupt any thought of worry and then replace it. But this time, you will replace your thoughts of worry with thoughts of gratitude for the outcome you wish for.

If you believe in a higher power, this is the time to engage with it. Here is an example:

Instead of worrying about my loved ones traveling in bad weather, I say the following (I call it a prayer):

“Thank you great spirit for watching over _______. Thank you for watching over his/her car and keeping it safe, road-worthy, and free of maintenance issues without warning. Thank you for surrounding him/her with only safe, conscientious, and alert drivers. And thank you for keeping him/her safe, conscientious, and alert.”

Smile when you think about it or say it aloud, and phrase it in the present tense. Both of these will help you feel it and possibly even start to believe it.

If you can visualize what you are praying for, the visualization will enhance the feeling so you will increase the impact in your vibrational field.

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Now, take a calming breath, slowly in through your nose, and slowly out through the mouth. Take as many as you like! Do it until you feel that you’re close to being in control of your thoughts.

Replacing fearful thoughts with gratitude will decrease reactionary behavior, taking the steam out of the Reactor.

For example: If your child gets lost in the mall, the typical parental reaction that follows the fearful thoughts when finding them is to yell at them.

“I told you never to leave my sight.” This reaction just adds to the child’s fear level from being lost in the first place.

Plus, it also teaches them that mom and/or dad will get mad when he or she makes a mistake, which may make them lie to you or not tell you things in the future.

Change those fearful thoughts when they happen:

“Thank You (your choice of Higher Power) for watching over my child and keeping him safe. Thank you for helping me find him soon.”

Then, when you see your child after this thought process, your only reaction will be gratitude, and that seems like a better alternative for all people involved.

3. For the Troublemaker, Reactor or Over-Reactor

Permanently eliminating this squatter will take a bit more attention and reflection after the fact to identify and heal the causes of the triggers. But until then, you can prevent the Reactor from getting out of control by initiating conscious breathing as soon as you recognize his presence.

The Reactor’s thoughts or feelings activate the fight or flight response just like with the Worrier. The physiological signs of his presence will be the same. With a little attention, you should be able to tell the difference between anxiety, anger, frustration, or pain.

I’m sure you’ve heard the suggestion to count to ten when you get angry—well, you can make those ten seconds much more productive if you are breathing consciously during that time.

Conscious breathing is as simple as it sounds—just be conscious of your breathing. Pay attention to the air going in and coming out.

Breathe in through your nose:

  • Feel the air entering your nostrils.
  • Feel your lungs filling and expanding.
  • Focus on your belly rising.

Breathe out through your nose:

  • Feel your lungs emptying.
  • Focus on your belly falling.
  • Feel the air exiting your nostrils.

Do this for as long as you like. Leave the situation if you want. This gives the adrenaline time to normalize. Now, you can address the situation with a calmer, more rational perspective and avoid damaging behavior, and you’ll be more in control of your thoughts.

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One of the troubles this squatter causes is that it adds to the sleep depriver’s issues. By evicting or at least controlling the Reactor, you will decrease reactionary behavior, which will decrease the need for the rehashing and ruminating that may keep you from falling asleep.

Master your mind and stop the Reactor from bringing stress to you and your relationships!

4. For the Sleep Depriver

(They’re made up of the Inner Planner, the Rehasher, and the Ruminator, along with the Inner Critic and the Worrier.)

I was plagued with a very common problem: not being able to turn off my mind at bedtime. This inability prevented me from falling asleep and thus, getting a restful and restorative night’s sleep.

Here’s how I mastered my mind and evicted the Sleep Depriver and all his cronies.

  1. I started by focusing on my breathing—paying attention to the rise and fall of my belly—but that didn’t keep the thoughts out for long. (Actually, I now start with checking my at-rest mouth position to keep me from clenching.)
  2. Then I came up with a replacement strategy that eliminated uncontrolled thinking—imagining the word in while breathing in and thinking the word out when breathing out. I would (and do) elongate the word to match the length of my breath.

When I catch myself thinking, I shift back to in, out. With this technique, I am still thinking, sort of, but the wheels are no longer spinning out of control. I am in control of my mind and thoughts, and I choose quiet.

From the first time I tried this method, I started to yawn after only a few cycles and am usually asleep within ten minutes.

For really difficult nights, I add an increase of attention by holding my eyes in a looking-up position (closed, of course). Sometimes I try to look toward my third eye but that really hurts my eyes.

If you have trouble falling asleep because you can’t shut off your mind, I strongly recommend you try this technique. I still use it every night. You can start sleeping better tonight!

You can also use this technique any time you want to:

  • Fall back to sleep if you wake up too soon
  • Shut down your thinking
  • Calm your feelings
  • Simply focus on the present moment

The Bottom Line

Your mind is a tool, and like any other tool, it can be used for constructive purposes or destructive purposes.

You can allow your mind to be occupied by unwanted, undesirable, and destructive tenants, or you can choose desirable tenants like peace, gratitude, compassion, love, and joy.

Your mind can become your best friend, your biggest supporter, and someone you can count on to be there and encourage you. You can be in control of your thoughts. The choice is yours!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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