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8 Reasons Why It’s Alright To Feel Lost In A Relationship

8 Reasons Why It’s Alright To Feel Lost In A Relationship

Being in a relationship can be a full-time job. Sometimes, it can become so overwhelming and consuming that you lose your own voice and sense of ownership. You want freedom and you think your partner is not making you happy enough. You question why you are in the relationship at all.

Yes, we all need that moment to feel uneasy and track our direction in whatever relationship we’re in. These breaks can be beneficial to becoming the person you want to be. Here are some of the positive things that can come out of those moments of indecision.

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1. You gain a different perspective on who your partner is

You are not so absorbed about them. You see them for their flaws and perfections. Since you can rely on your instincts and find other pleasures, rather than just within the relationship itself, you understand your partner better. This knowledge will prove beneficial in the way you treat them.

2. You begin to acknowledge other worthy activities

Now that you want to hang out with other people, you actually appreciate your partner more and try fun new things with them. You can come up with fun things to do on your own and get your partner involved along the way.

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3. Your life switches from many fantasies to many realities

Yes, your relationship becomes real to you. It is not guess work or something that is to be planned ahead on paper. No fantasies, no fiction, but realities that will push you make the strong decision of pushing ahead or letting go.

4. You understand the missing holes

Every relationship has some missing holes that need to be filled. It could be in terms of spirituality, finance, emotions, or mentality. When you are lost, you can understand these missing holes and find ways to fill them. It’s not just about the missing holes in the relationship, but the ones you find in yourself. What are your weaknesses? How can you be more purposeful and happier?

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5. You develop your own voice

You are not just around to fulfill another person’s desires. What matters is how you feel and your independence. Your emotions and joys belong to you — these are not external things. You can reflect, plan, and execute. Along the way, you will find your own voice and identity.

6. You are no longer jealous

Such negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, and envy seem to disappear. They become replaced with courage, purpose, and will. Being lost offers you clarity. You are no longer consumed by what your significant other should be doing or should not be doing.

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7. You are more independent

Being lost can offer you freedom. You identify your core values, desires, and tastes. You are open with yourself and you can try new things. You understand that you do not have to always rely on your partner. Perhaps there is a movie coming out this weekend, you can buy a ticket and go to the cinemas yourself — something that may have been unheard of for you in the past. Being forced to find this independence can make you a stronger person.

8. You get back to the basics

You can disconnect. You are no longer driven by the interests of your partner, but by your own desires. This means getting back to the basics, like reading books by your favorite author, exercising, eating your favorite meals. When you return to these ideals, you are strengthened and become a better you.

People think that being lost in a relationship signals doom for that relationship — it doesn’t. It all depends on how you manage this necessary stage and work towards making the most of it.

Featured photo credit: http://www.flickr.com via flickr.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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