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8 Reasons Why It’s Alright To Feel Lost In A Relationship

8 Reasons Why It’s Alright To Feel Lost In A Relationship

Being in a relationship can be a full-time job. Sometimes, it can become so overwhelming and consuming that you lose your own voice and sense of ownership. You want freedom and you think your partner is not making you happy enough. You question why you are in the relationship at all.

Yes, we all need that moment to feel uneasy and track our direction in whatever relationship we’re in. These breaks can be beneficial to becoming the person you want to be. Here are some of the positive things that can come out of those moments of indecision.

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1. You gain a different perspective on who your partner is

You are not so absorbed about them. You see them for their flaws and perfections. Since you can rely on your instincts and find other pleasures, rather than just within the relationship itself, you understand your partner better. This knowledge will prove beneficial in the way you treat them.

2. You begin to acknowledge other worthy activities

Now that you want to hang out with other people, you actually appreciate your partner more and try fun new things with them. You can come up with fun things to do on your own and get your partner involved along the way.

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3. Your life switches from many fantasies to many realities

Yes, your relationship becomes real to you. It is not guess work or something that is to be planned ahead on paper. No fantasies, no fiction, but realities that will push you make the strong decision of pushing ahead or letting go.

4. You understand the missing holes

Every relationship has some missing holes that need to be filled. It could be in terms of spirituality, finance, emotions, or mentality. When you are lost, you can understand these missing holes and find ways to fill them. It’s not just about the missing holes in the relationship, but the ones you find in yourself. What are your weaknesses? How can you be more purposeful and happier?

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5. You develop your own voice

You are not just around to fulfill another person’s desires. What matters is how you feel and your independence. Your emotions and joys belong to you — these are not external things. You can reflect, plan, and execute. Along the way, you will find your own voice and identity.

6. You are no longer jealous

Such negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, and envy seem to disappear. They become replaced with courage, purpose, and will. Being lost offers you clarity. You are no longer consumed by what your significant other should be doing or should not be doing.

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7. You are more independent

Being lost can offer you freedom. You identify your core values, desires, and tastes. You are open with yourself and you can try new things. You understand that you do not have to always rely on your partner. Perhaps there is a movie coming out this weekend, you can buy a ticket and go to the cinemas yourself — something that may have been unheard of for you in the past. Being forced to find this independence can make you a stronger person.

8. You get back to the basics

You can disconnect. You are no longer driven by the interests of your partner, but by your own desires. This means getting back to the basics, like reading books by your favorite author, exercising, eating your favorite meals. When you return to these ideals, you are strengthened and become a better you.

People think that being lost in a relationship signals doom for that relationship — it doesn’t. It all depends on how you manage this necessary stage and work towards making the most of it.

Featured photo credit: http://www.flickr.com via flickr.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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