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10 Things You Start Realizing From Your College Life

10 Things You Start Realizing From Your College Life

College. Think about that word and what that means to you. The odds are, everyone has a different image of what college is or what the typical college experience may be. Images of long study nights, dorm or frat parties, new friends, classes, club activities, etc. are probably some of those in mind. However, there are valuable lessons we learn in college or as recent graduates that aren’t always tangible things or memories.

College is most certainly a time for learning and cementing who we are as people. This is my list of 10 lessons I learned from college life.

1. You don’t know everything

Okay, to be fair, you probably already knew this, or just really didn’t give it too much thought. The next thing you know, you’re walking into your first college classroom and realizing you know no one, you know nothing about what you want to do for the rest of your life, how to navigate the campus, or even what major you want, and those are just the beginning of your thoughts. This is likely the first time most of us learn about debt and financial responsibility, mostly paying the price the hard way.

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2. Learning is forever

Being forced to go to school can be really frustrating and can lead to rebellion and angst during growing pain periods where we all want nothing more than to hang out with our friends, play or write music, or do other things we consider fun. We finish high school thinking it is all over, but it is really the beginning. Sure, we will all go to college. Eventually, that, too will end, but we will never stop learning about relationships, each other, and we regularly rediscover ourselves. We start realizing that in college through our group work, the awkwardness that is trying to make new friends, and learning how to move on.

3. Worrying about what people think about you is a waste of time

You could be the best person in the world, and someone still won’t like you and will find plenty to criticize. Sometimes, someone will just find looking at you annoying. Yes, there are people out there who will simply look at you, think “I don’t like that person”, and from that point on, you’ll be on their bad side. The fact of the matter is, are those people really trying to impress or waste your time over? Do you really want to worry over people who are devoted to misunderstanding and undervaluing you? If someone doesn’t have an honest critique of you or is talking about you to everyone else except you, don’t worry about it. What they do says more about you than it does about them. You start realizing these things in college, as going gives you exposure to all kinds of people you perhaps wouldn’t normally meet or associate with. College is a definitely a time where you learn to develop a thicker skin.

4. You can’t have everything

And that’s okay. You don’t need everything. Living in a dorm or at home with Mom and Dad while pursuing your education is evidence of that. Long study nights on the laptop you still use from 2008 and endless ramen noodle cups will likely become a staple in your dorm, if you aren’t living at home. If you are living home, expect no rules to change on the account you’re slightly older and in college. This is an important lesson, though, because life is all about making choices and priorities. You will learn about what is important to you and your values based on the choices that you make.

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5. Relationships can be complicated

Entering college can sometimes mean losing all of your former friends from high school, etc. Earning new friends can be difficult, and romantic relationships are no different. Dating is complex. Sometimes you’ll know you’re dating someone, but you won’t talk about it. You won’t use the title of boyfriend or girlfriend. There may not be many conversations about the relationship. Don’t expect your college relationships to make much sense or be concrete. Everyone is trying to figure themselves out, and that involves learning how to communicate, express desire, and figure out what and who they exactly want for the future. I don’t encourage anyone in college to take dating seriously, but although we leave college, relationships never end up less complicated. They may become simpler, better defined, less insecure, but will take work and dedication.

6. College is a big bubble

You’ll learn a lot in college, but it isn’t exactly the real world. Unless you’re a working student while going to school, something I recommend every student becomes and does, you’re going to live in a big, college bubble. If you have loans, you won’t have to worry about them, until you graduate. Much like how you had to exert yourself to make new friends in college, you’ll have to learn how to live without many of those friends upon graduation. The cycle starts all over again, and before you know it, you’ll have a 9 to 5 every day. You may get married and have a family, or go travel the world. I, for instance, teach English in South Korea now, and it is amazing! I am slowly learning a new language, new customs, how to live on my own and support myself, etc. Sometimes I stumble and fall, and  other times, I surprise even myself with the resolve I see myself have sometimes. There is a whole world outside of college. Explore it.

7. Things don’t always work out the way we hope for them to

We could all always use just a little bit more money, a little bit more time, or a little bit more of something else. We’ll make plans that will fall through, we’ll change majors 3 or 4 times, we’ll learn to live without that person we thought we could never live without. It happens that on occasion things seem to not go our way, but that feeling isn’t permanent. There is always something else to discover and to strive for.

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8. People change and so will you

Your dress style, who your attracted to, your values, and what ideas you support and activities you deem important will change in your new environment. This is where you start becoming and realizing who you are. You have to sculpt that person, and that begins in college. No one is there to hold your hand and walk you through doing your essay. No one is there reminding you to check your daily agenda for anything you may have missed.

9. Trying to figure out what you want to do for the rest of your life isn’t so simple

My honest opinion is choosing one path in life for a permanent career is extremely limiting and dangerous to the human mind and spirit. We need to be stimulated, creative, excited, and always dreaming, so don’t limit yourself. Yes, trying to figure out what you want to do for the rest of your life isn’t so simple, and maybe it’s something you shouldn’t be doing. Like I said before, desires change and people change, they grow and they evolve. Limiting yourself in terms of friendships, relationships, and career paths doesn’t benefit you. In college, there will be a lot of pressure to pick that one major and do something in that field. I say study what you like, and use all the tools you learned to promote yourself the way you want to in the industry you want to. You can have a chemical engineering degree and be a brilliant writer. You can have an English degree, and be an incredible inventor.

10. Always have a back-up plan

College is not for everyone, despite the push for everyone to go to college. Some students go in and excel, others have a hard time affording it or aren’t having their unique gifts catered to. Other students don’t find the material they are learning applicable to the lives they think they want to lead, and therefore, they drop out. It is important to always have a back-up plan. Maybe you know college isn’t for you, but how about a paralegal certificate from a community college or through online learning? How about vocational school? In college, you will be told about the reality of your degrees and your employment prospects. You will have the resources to build an impressive resume, consult a career center, and other valuable options. You will learn that despite having your degree, you will need additional experiences and ideas moving forward. Whether you’re dealing with an unpleasant roommate, soaring tuition costs, or other ideas, having a backup plan is invaluable.

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That’s it for the top 10 list. I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know if you agree or disagree with the points I mentioned here. For those of you needing a back-up plan or have questions about your degree path, don’t hesitate to reach out.  Happy learning!

Featured photo credit: Diego Grez-Cañete via commons.wikimedia.org

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Emina Dedic

TEFL Instructor, Traveler, Professional Writer, Model

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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