Advertising
Advertising

8 Terrible Mistakes Successful People Never Make

8 Terrible Mistakes Successful People Never Make

Life is full of interesting challenges and difficulties that even the most talented, committed and composed of us struggle to deal with. However, there are some typical tell-tale signs that come with someone who is successful. One of the most important things to realise about these individuals is that they are successful because they don’t make mistakes on a consistent basis.

If you are trying to grow and improve as an individual, you need to know the art of being able to avoid making mistakes. Not sure how to go about doing this? Then here are eight terrible mistakes that we all may make ourselves, without realising it, that hamper our chances at success.

1. They Never Posture

For anyone who wants to be successful, it’s important to realise the big difference between success and posturing. Your successes today, if sought after purely for political gain, will leave you with a much higher chance of failure. Get used to the idea that failure comes from posturing too much and trying to gain too much from any one position. A successful person will never try to steal the spotlight.

Advertising

2. They Never Fear Abuse

When you complete a big task, in work for example, the last thing anyone wants to deal with are the snide remarks and the sarcastic abuse that you can take from colleagues. When this happens, you need to be able to brush it off – the most successful people literally just look straight beyond this. When you get flustered and upset by these comments, the person you are dealing with will feel confident that they have struck a blow against you and it can be undermining to your confidence.

This is something you never see successful people do – instead, they just blow these remarks off.

3. They Never Give Up

Whilst finishing as number one is a good thing, it can pay to be last sometimes too. For example, the last person to give up or the last person to stop trying to find a solution is likely to be the successful one – the first to give up usually has to watch from the sides while the other person is given all sorts of recognition for their hard work and determination.

Advertising

One thing you need to get used to right way is the idea that giving up is ridiculous. Never give up and never give yourself the kind of trouble later on in life that you could so easily have avoided.

4. They Never Focus on Possessions 

When you make a big purchase, you can feel like you have achieved something in life – however, this is not the case. You want to avoid this kind of problem as much as you possibly can because getting used to the idea that success = possessions is a very dangerous way to live your life. To avoid this problem, we need to look at the successful people out there. They look at their success through hard-earned achievements and legacies, not what they were able to buy!

5. They Never Look For The Big Fix

One thing many of us do, and fall into a trap doing, is chasing a big idea. Instead, a successful person builds up an incremental list of ideas that, over time, will give them the keys to the success they were looking for in the first place instead of trying to find a miracle.

Advertising

6. They Never Feel Ashamed To Ask For Help

The most important of the list, arguably, is that they aren’t afraid to ask for help. Someone who is successful got there because they took the time to learn and grow as an expert. Nobody is a genius from day one, so working with a mentor will help you become a more astute person. Successful people never make the mistake of not asking for help when needed.

7. They Never Work For Acclaim, But For Success

Many people want to go and work with x company or y business because it looks great on their CV – this is the wrong attitude to have. Instead, successful people will work for success and leave a legacy instead of ego and acclaim.

8. They Never Procrastinate

Leaving for tomorrow things that could finished today adds to inaction and not solving the issues. It is also a psychological burden that prevents people from further developing their creativity and taking on new tasks. Unnecessary stress is also something successful people avoid at any price.

Advertising

Featured photo credit: http://cdn-media-4.lifehack.org via cdn-media-4.lifehack.org

More by this author

likable people 7 Habits of Exceptionally Likeable People positive mindset 5 Lifehacks for a 24/7 Positive Mindset wandering mind 5 Reasons Why Your Wandering Mind Is Harming Your Productivity excel at work 50 Effective Ways To Excel At Work Every Single Week 15 Books Highly Recommended By CEOs

Trending in Communication

1 What Are Interpersonal Skills? Master Them for Better Relationships 2 How To Stop Negative Thoughts from Killing Your Confidence 3 This 4-Year Old Girl’s Explanation On the Problem with New Year’s Resolutions Is Everything You Need 4 What You Really Need to Feel Secure in a Relationship 5 7 Signs You’re Ready to Change Your Life (And What to Do Next)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 15, 2019

What Are Interpersonal Skills? Master Them for Better Relationships

What Are Interpersonal Skills? Master Them for Better Relationships

When I wrote my book Extraordinary PR, Ordinary Budget: A Strategy Guide, I was surprised at the various layers of review and editing necessary to get the book to publication. Before I ever submitted the manuscript, I enlisted a former colleague to read and copy edit my work. Then, I submitted my work to an editor at the publisher’s house, and once she approved it, she sent it to her colleagues and then her company’s editorial board.

Upon editorial board approval of my book, my editor sent my work to reviewers in my field, then a developmental editor, then a designer and layout team and, finally, another copy editor. There were a host of personalities with whom I needed to interact along the way.

It turns out that getting a publishing contract was just the beginning – a lot happens between developing a concept, writing the book, finding an agent and publisher, and getting the book on bookshelves or on Audible or Kindle. Through every milestone of the publishing process, my ability to interact with others was crucial. This underscored for me that no matter what or how much a person accomplishes, you never do it alone – everyone needs assistance from others.

While I conceived of the book and wrote the manuscript, there is no way my book could have hit booksellers’ shelves without the dozens of people who were involved in the publishing process. Further, interpersonal skills can propel or stonewall success.

Even as someone who has written hundreds of essays, press releases, pitch notes and other correspondence, writing itself is not a solitary endeavor. Sure, I may write in solitude, but the moment I am finished writing, there are always clients, colleagues, partners, peers and others who review my content.

What is more, even as a published author and contributor for this platform, I try to never submit final copy (content) that has not been copy edited. I send everything to my copy editor, whom I pay out of my own pocket, for her review, edits and approval. Once she has reviewed my work, caught unbeknownst-to-me errors, I am much more confident putting my work out in the world.

How Interpersonal Skills Affect Relationships

It is clearer to me now more than ever before that interpersonal skills are needed in every profession and every trade.

Advertising

People don’t elect leaders because the leaders are smart. Individuals are motivated to vote when they have a hero and when they feel they have something to lose. If they seriously dislike the other candidate, they are much more likely vote according to a 2000 Ohio State University study:

“A disliked candidate is seen as a threat, and that will be motivation to go to the polls. But a threat alone isn’t enough – people need to have a hero to vote for, too, in order to inspire them to turn out on Election Day.”

In a work setting, interpersonal skills impact every facet of your development and success. Trainers must collaborate with a design team or the company hiring them to facilitate the training. During the training itself, the facilitators must connect with the audience and establish a rapport that supports vulnerability and openness. If the trainers interact poorly with the trainees, they are unlikely to be invited back. If they are invited back, they may be unlikely to inspire cooperation or growth in their trainees.

Solopreneurs interactions with clients and subcontractors, and those interactions will, in part, support or adversely impact their business. If you enjoy a career as an acclaimed surgeon or respected lawyer, your interactions with patients, clients, health insurance agencies and a team of other practitioners – many of whom are shielded from public view – will improve or decimate your practice.

As a hiring manager, one of the things I consider when interviewing candidates is their interpersonal skills. I assess the interpersonal skills they display in their content and face-to-face presentation. I ask probing questions to learn how they interact with others, manage conflict and contribute to a team atmosphere.

When candidates say things like, “I prefer to work alone” or “I can hit the ground running without assistance,” I bristle. When candidates appear to know everything and everyone, I wonder if they will be receptive to learning or open to feedback. Could these statements be indications that these individuals lack interpersonal skills?

It stands to reason, then, that interpersonal skills are among the most valuable and the bedrock of all talents and skills.

Advertising

What are Interpersonal Skills?

Interpersonal skills range from emotional intelligence, empathy, oral and written communication to leadership to collaboration and teamwork.

In sum, interpersonal skills are skills that enable you to interact well with others. They include teachability and receptiveness to feedback, active or mindful listening, self-confidence and conflict resolution.

From a communications standpoint, interpersonal skills are about understanding how colleagues prefer to communicate and then using the appropriate mediums to meet respective needs. It is about understanding how to communicate in a way to get the most out of different people.

For instance, in my career as a public relations practitioner, part of what I am constantly evaluating is which colleagues, clients and members of the media prefer email, text or phone calls. I am assessing how much frill to use with each person depending on what has worked in the past and depending on what I know about the person with whom I am interacting.

Making these decisions and being disciplined enough to follow each person’s known preferences helps me better connect with the various individuals in my orbit. Is this tiring at times? Yes. Is it necessary? Absolutely.

How to Improve Interpersonal Skills

There are tons of resources to teach interpersonal skills. I love books such as Leadership Presence by Belle Linda Halpern and Kathy Lubar, and The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

There are also a host of books and articles on emotional intelligence, which is the ability to manage one’s emotions and perceive and adapt to others’ emotions. Emotional intelligence is likewise a critical component of positive interpersonal relations. You can learn more about it in this article: What Is Emotional Intelligence and Why It Is Important

Advertising

Active and mindful listening also support improved interpersonal skills. I recommend you take a look at this piece: Active Listening – A Skill That Everyone Should Master

I have further found that humility helps a ton with interpersonal skills. It takes humility to admit you have more to learn and that you can learn from the people around you. In fact, everyone with whom you interact has a lesson to teach you. And employers are increasingly looking for team members who are lifelong learners, meaning they believe there is always room for growth and professional and personal development.

Forbes contributor Kevin H. Johnson noted in a July 2018 article,

“That’s why, when anyone asks what the next ‘hot’ skill will be, I say it’s the same skill that will serve people today, tomorrow, and far into the future—the ability to learn.”

Don’t overlook introspection.

While interpersonal skills may seem simple enough, introspection is critical to learning where and in what ways you need to grow.

Through introspection and observation, I have learned that my interpersonal skills suffer when I am sleep deprived, because then I am short-tempered and irritable. I’ve observed this connection over a significant period in my life. Unsurprisingly, it is also true of others. Fellow LifeHack contributor, health coach and personal trainer Jamie Logie noted:

Advertising

When you are chronically sleep deprived, it really does a number on you. A lack of sleep can keep your body in a constant state of stress and over time this can get pretty ugly. Elevated stress hormones can be involved in creating a bunch of pretty nasty conditions including anxiety, headaches and dizziness, weight gain, depression, stroke, hypertension, digestive disorders, immune system dysfunction, irritability.

Additionally, the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development reported,

“Sleep deprivation can noticeably affect people’s performance, including their ability to think clearly, react quickly, and form memories. Sleep deprivation also affects mood, leading to irritability; problems with relationships, especially for children and teenagers; and depression. Sleep deprivation can also increase anxiety.”

The point is, even as you are identifying ways to improve interpersonal skills, think about what is getting in the way. While sleep deprivation is a trigger for me, your stumbling block may be different.

The Bottom Line

You cannot fix what you do not know is broken. Even as you work to understand and apply interpersonal skills, spend some time in mindful meditation to get clear on what is holding you back from developing solid relationships.

Featured photo credit: Austin Distel via unsplash.com

Read Next