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8 Terrible Mistakes Successful People Never Make

8 Terrible Mistakes Successful People Never Make

Life is full of interesting challenges and difficulties that even the most talented, committed and composed of us struggle to deal with. However, there are some typical tell-tale signs that come with someone who is successful. One of the most important things to realise about these individuals is that they are successful because they don’t make mistakes on a consistent basis.

If you are trying to grow and improve as an individual, you need to know the art of being able to avoid making mistakes. Not sure how to go about doing this? Then here are eight terrible mistakes that we all may make ourselves, without realising it, that hamper our chances at success.

1. They Never Posture

For anyone who wants to be successful, it’s important to realise the big difference between success and posturing. Your successes today, if sought after purely for political gain, will leave you with a much higher chance of failure. Get used to the idea that failure comes from posturing too much and trying to gain too much from any one position. A successful person will never try to steal the spotlight.

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2. They Never Fear Abuse

When you complete a big task, in work for example, the last thing anyone wants to deal with are the snide remarks and the sarcastic abuse that you can take from colleagues. When this happens, you need to be able to brush it off – the most successful people literally just look straight beyond this. When you get flustered and upset by these comments, the person you are dealing with will feel confident that they have struck a blow against you and it can be undermining to your confidence.

This is something you never see successful people do – instead, they just blow these remarks off.

3. They Never Give Up

Whilst finishing as number one is a good thing, it can pay to be last sometimes too. For example, the last person to give up or the last person to stop trying to find a solution is likely to be the successful one – the first to give up usually has to watch from the sides while the other person is given all sorts of recognition for their hard work and determination.

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One thing you need to get used to right way is the idea that giving up is ridiculous. Never give up and never give yourself the kind of trouble later on in life that you could so easily have avoided.

4. They Never Focus on Possessions 

When you make a big purchase, you can feel like you have achieved something in life – however, this is not the case. You want to avoid this kind of problem as much as you possibly can because getting used to the idea that success = possessions is a very dangerous way to live your life. To avoid this problem, we need to look at the successful people out there. They look at their success through hard-earned achievements and legacies, not what they were able to buy!

5. They Never Look For The Big Fix

One thing many of us do, and fall into a trap doing, is chasing a big idea. Instead, a successful person builds up an incremental list of ideas that, over time, will give them the keys to the success they were looking for in the first place instead of trying to find a miracle.

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6. They Never Feel Ashamed To Ask For Help

The most important of the list, arguably, is that they aren’t afraid to ask for help. Someone who is successful got there because they took the time to learn and grow as an expert. Nobody is a genius from day one, so working with a mentor will help you become a more astute person. Successful people never make the mistake of not asking for help when needed.

7. They Never Work For Acclaim, But For Success

Many people want to go and work with x company or y business because it looks great on their CV – this is the wrong attitude to have. Instead, successful people will work for success and leave a legacy instead of ego and acclaim.

8. They Never Procrastinate

Leaving for tomorrow things that could finished today adds to inaction and not solving the issues. It is also a psychological burden that prevents people from further developing their creativity and taking on new tasks. Unnecessary stress is also something successful people avoid at any price.

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Featured photo credit: http://cdn-media-4.lifehack.org via cdn-media-4.lifehack.org

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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