Advertising
Advertising

8 Terrible Mistakes Successful People Never Make

8 Terrible Mistakes Successful People Never Make

Life is full of interesting challenges and difficulties that even the most talented, committed and composed of us struggle to deal with. However, there are some typical tell-tale signs that come with someone who is successful. One of the most important things to realise about these individuals is that they are successful because they don’t make mistakes on a consistent basis.

If you are trying to grow and improve as an individual, you need to know the art of being able to avoid making mistakes. Not sure how to go about doing this? Then here are eight terrible mistakes that we all may make ourselves, without realising it, that hamper our chances at success.

1. They Never Posture

For anyone who wants to be successful, it’s important to realise the big difference between success and posturing. Your successes today, if sought after purely for political gain, will leave you with a much higher chance of failure. Get used to the idea that failure comes from posturing too much and trying to gain too much from any one position. A successful person will never try to steal the spotlight.

Advertising

2. They Never Fear Abuse

When you complete a big task, in work for example, the last thing anyone wants to deal with are the snide remarks and the sarcastic abuse that you can take from colleagues. When this happens, you need to be able to brush it off – the most successful people literally just look straight beyond this. When you get flustered and upset by these comments, the person you are dealing with will feel confident that they have struck a blow against you and it can be undermining to your confidence.

This is something you never see successful people do – instead, they just blow these remarks off.

3. They Never Give Up

Whilst finishing as number one is a good thing, it can pay to be last sometimes too. For example, the last person to give up or the last person to stop trying to find a solution is likely to be the successful one – the first to give up usually has to watch from the sides while the other person is given all sorts of recognition for their hard work and determination.

Advertising

One thing you need to get used to right way is the idea that giving up is ridiculous. Never give up and never give yourself the kind of trouble later on in life that you could so easily have avoided.

4. They Never Focus on Possessions 

When you make a big purchase, you can feel like you have achieved something in life – however, this is not the case. You want to avoid this kind of problem as much as you possibly can because getting used to the idea that success = possessions is a very dangerous way to live your life. To avoid this problem, we need to look at the successful people out there. They look at their success through hard-earned achievements and legacies, not what they were able to buy!

5. They Never Look For The Big Fix

One thing many of us do, and fall into a trap doing, is chasing a big idea. Instead, a successful person builds up an incremental list of ideas that, over time, will give them the keys to the success they were looking for in the first place instead of trying to find a miracle.

Advertising

6. They Never Feel Ashamed To Ask For Help

The most important of the list, arguably, is that they aren’t afraid to ask for help. Someone who is successful got there because they took the time to learn and grow as an expert. Nobody is a genius from day one, so working with a mentor will help you become a more astute person. Successful people never make the mistake of not asking for help when needed.

7. They Never Work For Acclaim, But For Success

Many people want to go and work with x company or y business because it looks great on their CV – this is the wrong attitude to have. Instead, successful people will work for success and leave a legacy instead of ego and acclaim.

8. They Never Procrastinate

Leaving for tomorrow things that could finished today adds to inaction and not solving the issues. It is also a psychological burden that prevents people from further developing their creativity and taking on new tasks. Unnecessary stress is also something successful people avoid at any price.

Advertising

Featured photo credit: http://cdn-media-4.lifehack.org via cdn-media-4.lifehack.org

More by this author

likable people 7 Habits of Exceptionally Likeable People positive mindset 5 Lifehacks for a 24/7 Positive Mindset wandering mind 5 Reasons Why Your Wandering Mind Is Harming Your Productivity excel at work 50 Effective Ways To Excel At Work Every Single Week 15 Books Highly Recommended By CEOs

Trending in Communication

1 How to Overcome Trust Issues in a Relationship (And Learn to Love Again) 2 How to Use the Law of Attraction to Make Your Dreams Happen 3 10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively 4 How To Be Happy Alone and Enjoy Life 5 What Is Self-Worth and How to Recognize Yours

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on April 6, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

Advertising

2. Listen

Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

3. Become an Expert

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

4. Lead with Story

From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

Advertising

If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

5. Lead by Example

It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

6. Catch People Doing Good

A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

7. Be Effusive with Praise

It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

Advertising

Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

Advertising

10. Understand Your Lane

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

More Tips About Making Influence

Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

Read Next