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8 Terrible Mistakes Successful People Never Make

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8 Terrible Mistakes Successful People Never Make

Life is full of interesting challenges and difficulties that even the most talented, committed and composed of us struggle to deal with. However, there are some typical tell-tale signs that come with someone who is successful. One of the most important things to realise about these individuals is that they are successful because they don’t make mistakes on a consistent basis.

If you are trying to grow and improve as an individual, you need to know the art of being able to avoid making mistakes. Not sure how to go about doing this? Then here are eight terrible mistakes that we all may make ourselves, without realising it, that hamper our chances at success.

1. They Never Posture

For anyone who wants to be successful, it’s important to realise the big difference between success and posturing. Your successes today, if sought after purely for political gain, will leave you with a much higher chance of failure. Get used to the idea that failure comes from posturing too much and trying to gain too much from any one position. A successful person will never try to steal the spotlight.

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2. They Never Fear Abuse

When you complete a big task, in work for example, the last thing anyone wants to deal with are the snide remarks and the sarcastic abuse that you can take from colleagues. When this happens, you need to be able to brush it off – the most successful people literally just look straight beyond this. When you get flustered and upset by these comments, the person you are dealing with will feel confident that they have struck a blow against you and it can be undermining to your confidence.

This is something you never see successful people do – instead, they just blow these remarks off.

3. They Never Give Up

Whilst finishing as number one is a good thing, it can pay to be last sometimes too. For example, the last person to give up or the last person to stop trying to find a solution is likely to be the successful one – the first to give up usually has to watch from the sides while the other person is given all sorts of recognition for their hard work and determination.

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One thing you need to get used to right way is the idea that giving up is ridiculous. Never give up and never give yourself the kind of trouble later on in life that you could so easily have avoided.

4. They Never Focus on Possessions 

When you make a big purchase, you can feel like you have achieved something in life – however, this is not the case. You want to avoid this kind of problem as much as you possibly can because getting used to the idea that success = possessions is a very dangerous way to live your life. To avoid this problem, we need to look at the successful people out there. They look at their success through hard-earned achievements and legacies, not what they were able to buy!

5. They Never Look For The Big Fix

One thing many of us do, and fall into a trap doing, is chasing a big idea. Instead, a successful person builds up an incremental list of ideas that, over time, will give them the keys to the success they were looking for in the first place instead of trying to find a miracle.

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6. They Never Feel Ashamed To Ask For Help

The most important of the list, arguably, is that they aren’t afraid to ask for help. Someone who is successful got there because they took the time to learn and grow as an expert. Nobody is a genius from day one, so working with a mentor will help you become a more astute person. Successful people never make the mistake of not asking for help when needed.

7. They Never Work For Acclaim, But For Success

Many people want to go and work with x company or y business because it looks great on their CV – this is the wrong attitude to have. Instead, successful people will work for success and leave a legacy instead of ego and acclaim.

8. They Never Procrastinate

Leaving for tomorrow things that could finished today adds to inaction and not solving the issues. It is also a psychological burden that prevents people from further developing their creativity and taking on new tasks. Unnecessary stress is also something successful people avoid at any price.

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Featured photo credit: http://cdn-media-4.lifehack.org via cdn-media-4.lifehack.org

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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