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7 Reasons Generous People Are More Likely To Be Successful

7 Reasons Generous People Are More Likely To Be Successful

Who doesn’t love a generous person?  Many of us have been blessed by a person who has help us in a time of need, given us advice when we were confused of was just kind when kindness was needed.  Where being generous is great for those who are around such people, the habit of generosity does a great deal for the person who practices it as well.

Truly generous people are often successful in life.  Not just at work or in the community, but in their personal lives as well.  The wonderful thing about generosity is that anyone can become a generous person no matter what station you are in life, how much you have or what you hope to have.  Here are seven reasons why success often fills the lives of generous people.

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1. Generous People are Happy People

You will be hard pressed to find a generous person who is grumpy and unhappy.  People who are willing to share of their time, possessions, and talents are often some of the happiest people there are.  They have a great sense of contributing to the world they live in.  All of us seek to have meaning in life and to feel that we matter to the world.  For generous people, happiness comes from giving more than from taking.

2. Generous People are More Relaxed

There is no greater stress than feeling that you are in need or that you have to get more in life.  Greed as well as a sense of poverty drive people to constantly worry about what they do not have and at times will cause then to make bad choices to try and remedy the problem.  Generosity is a state of mind.  It is not based on how much money or possessions you have.  Generous people can in fact have very little, however, what they do have they are willing to share and are not in bondage to their possessions.  There is a great calm and peace that comes when we always sense that we can give of whatever we have.

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3. Generous People are willing to Work Hard

A common trait of generous people is that they are willing and happy to work hard for what they have.  Success comes through hard work.  There is not short cuts or easy paths to take.  Generous people realize this and will do what it takes to achieve their goals and dreams in life.  Since they tend to be others-focused rather than self-focused they see their own success as a benefit for all, not just for them.

4. Generous People are Kind People

Just as you will not find a generous person who is unhappy, you will not find one who is not kind.  Generosity is all about kindness.  It is giving of yourself to others to help them in a time of need or to advance them on their journey to success.  When you are kind to others you will find that others will be kind to you.  A key to achieving success is knowing that what you give you will receive back.  Zig Ziglar had it right when he said, “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

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5. Generous People are Free People

The strongest prisons in the universe are those built on greed, want and selfishness.  They are chains that hold you down from achieving real success in life and limit all you hope to do.  The only thing that breaks these chains is generosity.  Generous people are free to do what they wish, and have what they want because their happiness and success is not dependent on what they keep, but more on what they give away.  Have you ever noticed that generous people seem to have more than they need of all of life’s treasures?  That is because you will always receive in the same proportion as what you give.

6. Generous People Have Better Relationships

It is just a fact, happy, kind and generous people have more friends, better friends and stronger personal relationships.  It is not because others know they can get something from these people, in fact, what they have or do not have has nothing to do with it.  Generous people are faithful and loyal and these qualities strengthen all the relationships they have.

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7. Generous People are Confident People

When you are not the center of your universe, you will find that you not only feel better about others, you feel better about yourself.  Generous people do not get their self-worth from what they give, but by their freedom to give it.  The insecurity that comes with greed, want and selfishness is not there to hinder them.  They know they can be and do whatever their heart desires.

Featured photo credit: Feeding Birds/ Diego Cambiaso via flickr.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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