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5 Good Reasons To Date A Single Mom (Even If It Isn’t Easy)

5 Good Reasons To Date A Single Mom (Even If It Isn’t Easy)

As we all know, dating can be a challenge. Whether you’re looking for casual flings or a serious relationship, aligning your personality, goals, and priorities with another human’s is extremely difficult. In fact, it’s so rare that many people choose to simply give up.

So, why not expand your options? For example, if you’re a guy, have you ever considered single mothers?

Single mothers represent a group that’s often discounted in the dating pool, but certainly shouldn’t be. It’s not easy to win the love of a single mom. But if you do, you’ll be lucky enough to enjoy some of the following things she brings to the table.

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1. She’s Independent and Mature

Unlike most single women, single moms have to look out for more than themselves. They have children to put first. And most importantly of all – they don’t have much help. Even if the father is still in the picture, he probably only relieves her of the responsibility less than half of the time. That says a lot about single women and reinforces the idea that they won’t rely on anyone else to be happy, successful, and sufficient. They’re used to relying on themselves to find their happiness and their success, so they won’t be clingy or immature.

“Remember she is doing the best she can – working, parenting, taking care of the home and trying to have a social life and date,” Janice Hoffman tells men dating single mothers. That independence builds strength and character.

2. She Knows How to Overcome Challenges

Whether it’s an unplanned pregnancy, failed marriage, or something worse, single mothers have confronted some difficult circumstances. This shows you that, regardless of what happens in your relationship, she’ll be able to overcome bigger challenges than other women. The result may not always be what you both have in mind, but you can rest assured she’ll find a way through it.

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“I am a single mom and I’m the breadwinner and I have to work and I have to do these things and that’s just the way it is,” actress Charisma Carpenter once said, verbalizing what most single mothers feel.

3. She Appreciates the Small Things

Whether it’s working, carpooling, shopping, cooking, cleaning, playing, or helping with homework, single moms do it all. Unfortunately, they rarely get thanked for what they do. It’s not that their children don’t appreciate them, but that they’re often incapable of reciprocation. As a dating partner, this means anything you do – even something as simple as ordering flowers and sending them to her office – will show her you care. “Above all else, dating single moms appreciate honesty,” says Alaina Sheer of SingleParentMeet.com.

Extravagance is unnecessary – just be you!

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4. She Understands Your Busy Schedule

As mentioned, single moms have busy schedules. That means they understand when you’re busy, too.

As Rachel Wolchin writes, “My entire life can be described in one sentence: it didn’t go as planned, and that’s ok.” While you should always clearly communicate your schedule and plans, single moms are more likely to let you off the hook when something comes up last minute (just as you should when the shoe’s on the other foot). They value what you bring to the table and appreciate your time.

5. She Knows Exactly What She Wants

Soul searching comes standard for single moms. Single mothers have had time to consider and understand what went wrong in previous relationships and are aware of what they want and need the second time around. This no-nonsense approach can be a breath of fresh air when you’re used to dating women with experimental attitudes.

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As one single mother once said, “A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn’t want for her daughter, nor allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for.”

So, what are you waiting for? Discover what millions of men already have: Dating a single mother is a rich and rewarding experience.

Featured photo credit: PublicDomainPictures via pixabay.com

More by this author

Anna Johansson

Anna is a freelance writer, researcher, and business consultant.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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