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7 Reasons People With Childlike Hearts Are More Likely To Be Successful

7 Reasons People With Childlike Hearts Are More Likely To Be Successful

If Holden Caulfield was right about one thing, it’s that children are the most pure and true humans on the planet. As we grow older, we lose the features that made us so innocent and virtuous, but it’s incredibly important that we don’t let these characteristics stray too far from ourselves. It should be noted that childlike does not mean childish. While it’s important to maintain purity as you grow into an adult, it’s also important to not only mature physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. Those that can maintain such a balance are often most successful, because:

1. They exhibit humility

Children are completely awe-inspired by the world around them. As we grow old, we tend to lose this sense of wonder. Some of us, unfortunately, see ourselves as the center of the universe, and think the world exists only for us. Keeping that sense of humility you had as a child is incredibly important, because it will allow you to be inspired by the actions of others, and will keep you striving toward growing as a person. If you’re not humble about your own being, chances are you will cease to grow any further.

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2. They have faith

Children have faith in their friends, family, and teachers. They also have faith in themselves. Many children have faith in a higher power, whatever it may be (even if it’s Santa Claus!). Adults sometimes lose this faith, and this causes them to drift aimlessly through life. Becoming lost in a sea of seven billion other people is hard to fight against. It’s important to surround yourself with people who share the faith you have in the world around you. In doing so, you ensure that you and others around you will constantly be moving toward a higher plane.

3. They remember the feeling of innocence

In a world in which we’re constantly bombarded with stories of unspeakable violence and hatred, it’s becoming increasingly important for the innocent among us to rise up and spread the word of peace. It may be hard to believe, since the media is constantly telling you otherwise, but there are people in this world who act with no ulterior motive, and honestly do want to see humanity progress. While it may seem like these people are few and far between, that simply is not true. The people who don’t make the evening news are the ones keeping the world running, despite all the atrocities you may hear of on a nightly basis.

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4. They embrace revelation

Children are incredibly curious about the world around them. They love to learn, and want to know everything there is to know about life. Those that think they know everything are doomed to a life of ignorance. There is always more to know, and always room to grow. Rather than doling out answers, we should always be asking questions and trying to understand more about the world. By accepting that it’s impossible to know everything, we open the door to the possibility that we can know as much as we can in our lifetime.

5. They transform themselves

Children come into the world with no preconceived notion of how to act. They learn from the adults around them how to live, and it is up to us to teach them how to live life to its fullest. Unfortunately, many adults get to a point where they feel stuck in their ways, regardless if they want to change or not. There’s always time to improve yourself, whether physically, mentally, or spiritually. It often takes some type of catalyst to make people change, but don’t wait. There may always be time to improve, but there’s no better time than now.

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6. They yearn

Anyone who has children knows that kids spend most of their time yearning for something (sometimes it can be a pain, no doubt!). All kidding aside, children constantly yearn for new experiences, yearn to grow up (they’re crazy, aren’t they?), and yearn for knowledge. Again, many times adults reach a point where they become complacent, and no longer yearn for more. While it’s important not to be greedy, it’s also important to always want more out of life. By keeping the hunger for a better life alive, you will continue to grow on a daily basis.

7. They feel victorious

It doesn’t take much for a kid to feel like a winner. On the other hand, many adults feel so beat down by the world that they end up giving up, and, again, become complacent. When the going gets tough, look for the small victories. Even something as simple as hitting every green light on the way home can erase the feeling that “everyone’s against you,” if you look at it the right way. Though life may not be going your way at the moment, try to find the silver lining to the bad situation you’re in and work from there. Finding a win in every forward step you take will help push you toward your goals.

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Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm3.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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