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7 Reasons People With Childlike Hearts Are More Likely To Be Successful

7 Reasons People With Childlike Hearts Are More Likely To Be Successful

If Holden Caulfield was right about one thing, it’s that children are the most pure and true humans on the planet. As we grow older, we lose the features that made us so innocent and virtuous, but it’s incredibly important that we don’t let these characteristics stray too far from ourselves. It should be noted that childlike does not mean childish. While it’s important to maintain purity as you grow into an adult, it’s also important to not only mature physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. Those that can maintain such a balance are often most successful, because:

1. They exhibit humility

Children are completely awe-inspired by the world around them. As we grow old, we tend to lose this sense of wonder. Some of us, unfortunately, see ourselves as the center of the universe, and think the world exists only for us. Keeping that sense of humility you had as a child is incredibly important, because it will allow you to be inspired by the actions of others, and will keep you striving toward growing as a person. If you’re not humble about your own being, chances are you will cease to grow any further.

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2. They have faith

Children have faith in their friends, family, and teachers. They also have faith in themselves. Many children have faith in a higher power, whatever it may be (even if it’s Santa Claus!). Adults sometimes lose this faith, and this causes them to drift aimlessly through life. Becoming lost in a sea of seven billion other people is hard to fight against. It’s important to surround yourself with people who share the faith you have in the world around you. In doing so, you ensure that you and others around you will constantly be moving toward a higher plane.

3. They remember the feeling of innocence

In a world in which we’re constantly bombarded with stories of unspeakable violence and hatred, it’s becoming increasingly important for the innocent among us to rise up and spread the word of peace. It may be hard to believe, since the media is constantly telling you otherwise, but there are people in this world who act with no ulterior motive, and honestly do want to see humanity progress. While it may seem like these people are few and far between, that simply is not true. The people who don’t make the evening news are the ones keeping the world running, despite all the atrocities you may hear of on a nightly basis.

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4. They embrace revelation

Children are incredibly curious about the world around them. They love to learn, and want to know everything there is to know about life. Those that think they know everything are doomed to a life of ignorance. There is always more to know, and always room to grow. Rather than doling out answers, we should always be asking questions and trying to understand more about the world. By accepting that it’s impossible to know everything, we open the door to the possibility that we can know as much as we can in our lifetime.

5. They transform themselves

Children come into the world with no preconceived notion of how to act. They learn from the adults around them how to live, and it is up to us to teach them how to live life to its fullest. Unfortunately, many adults get to a point where they feel stuck in their ways, regardless if they want to change or not. There’s always time to improve yourself, whether physically, mentally, or spiritually. It often takes some type of catalyst to make people change, but don’t wait. There may always be time to improve, but there’s no better time than now.

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6. They yearn

Anyone who has children knows that kids spend most of their time yearning for something (sometimes it can be a pain, no doubt!). All kidding aside, children constantly yearn for new experiences, yearn to grow up (they’re crazy, aren’t they?), and yearn for knowledge. Again, many times adults reach a point where they become complacent, and no longer yearn for more. While it’s important not to be greedy, it’s also important to always want more out of life. By keeping the hunger for a better life alive, you will continue to grow on a daily basis.

7. They feel victorious

It doesn’t take much for a kid to feel like a winner. On the other hand, many adults feel so beat down by the world that they end up giving up, and, again, become complacent. When the going gets tough, look for the small victories. Even something as simple as hitting every green light on the way home can erase the feeling that “everyone’s against you,” if you look at it the right way. Though life may not be going your way at the moment, try to find the silver lining to the bad situation you’re in and work from there. Finding a win in every forward step you take will help push you toward your goals.

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Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm3.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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