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15 Amazing Things Only Single People Can Enjoy

15 Amazing Things Only Single People Can Enjoy

Look how our society has changed in 70 years. Bette Davis played the spinster aunt in Now, Voyager in 1942. She bewails the fact that she will “never have a home of my own, nor a child of my own.” Marriage now is no longer the only gateway to happiness. Being single is no obstacle for a woman to have a home or even a child, if she wants to. The single status for both men and women has some pretty amazing things going for it. Here are 15 just to start with!

1. We are fitter and happier

Look at the figures – married people tend to put on weight as marital commitments ruin their fitness programs. Married men seem to be more at risk as one study shows that they are 25% more likely to pack on the pounds than their single counterparts. Being fitter also means that singles get a bigger slice of happiness.

2. We know it is a lottery

You know the scenario You thought for a long time that there was something wrong with you because you were not in a stable relationship? The fact is that it is mostly down to chance and has got nothing to do with our character. We can relax and stop worrying about all the so called mistakes we made. It is just a lottery, really.

3. We enjoy sleep a lot more

If you had to go through all the trauma of getting used to your partner’s weird sleeping habits or the thought of a future sleeping partnership, relax and enjoy the freedom of sleeping in your own bed. You can toss and turn, read, get up and sleep in as much as you want and you will disturb nobody. Except your cat, perhaps!

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 4. We have stopped agonizing about missed chances

How many times have you thought about whether this is Ms. or Mr. Right as you pondered a permanent relationship? Now that you are single, you can save all that angst and worry and concentrate on doing all the things you love doing without ever having to ask for permission.

5. We don’t need to tell anyone where we are

The constant phone calls with “Where are you?” is not only a threat to our mental health but it was also damned expensive. Being single means we can save money on our phone bill and forget all the worry.

6. We love our own company

We have learned that loneliness is no longer the awful threat it once was. We like being alone and we enjoy our own company. We have not forgotten the value of friendship and we can dedicate so much more time to friends who really matter, without ever worrying whether our spouse will like them.

7. We enjoy all the extra time

Singles just have so much time to dedicate to their careers and hobbies. There are no schools events to attend, no relatives to look after and there are no domestic issues which get in the way.

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8. We enjoy financial independence

Having a joint bank account is not nearly as much fun as having your own. No worries about spending that extra bit on a great meal, new motorbike or an extravagant holiday. Being your own personal accountant is just so much more fun. The 2010 Consumer Expenditure Survey found that singles were spending a lot more ($34,471) than married couples with no kids ($28,017). Who says we are not helping the economy?

9. We never have to worry about compromising

How many times have you thought that compromising ruins everything? It is like having your foot on the brake pedal all the time. You have to be so careful of those tricky bends and those steep slopes and hills. These are just metaphors for making concessions and sharing chores. Being single removes all that hassle.

10. We volunteer more often

If you read Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone by Eric Klinenberg, you will discover that one in two adults in Manhattan are single. They are also more active socially and also volunteer much more often.

11. We have a lot more political clout

Politicians are finally waking up to the fact that we are emerging as a voting block and that we can actually sway election results. How many times in the past have politicians failed to address single issue such as taxation, housing, gender issues and abortion? They now dare not forget there are 35 million single Americans and they are going to vote in the next elections.

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12. We can disregard the wider family

You know how you get sucked into the spouse’s or partner’s family when you are in a stable relationship? That means sharing their food, outings, celebrations and even their pets! Being single removes all the obligations here and you can get on with being a better you all round.

13. We prefer not to gamble

We know the statistics and they are pretty scary! Only about 50% of marriages actually work. Now, that is a pretty risky undertaking so we just prefer to stay single.

“I didn’t really want a man that I could have. The dream or the neighborhood? I wanted the dream.” – Diane Keaton

14. We do not worry about our wardrobe

What we wear as singles is not going to be scrutinized by close friends and family. We do not have to worry about being judged. Single men never have to worry about their dorky wardrobe and women are more relaxed about what is or is not the latest in fashion.

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15. We enjoy the mess

Being a singleton is wonderful when it comes to not having to clean up and or tidy our mess every time! Just wallowing in a little dirt or untidiness never hurt anyone and there is no risk that we will get told off, criticized or locked up!

Featured photo credit: us with Diane Keaton/Kim Snellink via flickr.com

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Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

Reference

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