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15 Amazing Things Only Single People Can Enjoy

15 Amazing Things Only Single People Can Enjoy

Look how our society has changed in 70 years. Bette Davis played the spinster aunt in Now, Voyager in 1942. She bewails the fact that she will “never have a home of my own, nor a child of my own.” Marriage now is no longer the only gateway to happiness. Being single is no obstacle for a woman to have a home or even a child, if she wants to. The single status for both men and women has some pretty amazing things going for it. Here are 15 just to start with!

1. We are fitter and happier

Look at the figures – married people tend to put on weight as marital commitments ruin their fitness programs. Married men seem to be more at risk as one study shows that they are 25% more likely to pack on the pounds than their single counterparts. Being fitter also means that singles get a bigger slice of happiness.

2. We know it is a lottery

You know the scenario You thought for a long time that there was something wrong with you because you were not in a stable relationship? The fact is that it is mostly down to chance and has got nothing to do with our character. We can relax and stop worrying about all the so called mistakes we made. It is just a lottery, really.

3. We enjoy sleep a lot more

If you had to go through all the trauma of getting used to your partner’s weird sleeping habits or the thought of a future sleeping partnership, relax and enjoy the freedom of sleeping in your own bed. You can toss and turn, read, get up and sleep in as much as you want and you will disturb nobody. Except your cat, perhaps!

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 4. We have stopped agonizing about missed chances

How many times have you thought about whether this is Ms. or Mr. Right as you pondered a permanent relationship? Now that you are single, you can save all that angst and worry and concentrate on doing all the things you love doing without ever having to ask for permission.

5. We don’t need to tell anyone where we are

The constant phone calls with “Where are you?” is not only a threat to our mental health but it was also damned expensive. Being single means we can save money on our phone bill and forget all the worry.

6. We love our own company

We have learned that loneliness is no longer the awful threat it once was. We like being alone and we enjoy our own company. We have not forgotten the value of friendship and we can dedicate so much more time to friends who really matter, without ever worrying whether our spouse will like them.

7. We enjoy all the extra time

Singles just have so much time to dedicate to their careers and hobbies. There are no schools events to attend, no relatives to look after and there are no domestic issues which get in the way.

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8. We enjoy financial independence

Having a joint bank account is not nearly as much fun as having your own. No worries about spending that extra bit on a great meal, new motorbike or an extravagant holiday. Being your own personal accountant is just so much more fun. The 2010 Consumer Expenditure Survey found that singles were spending a lot more ($34,471) than married couples with no kids ($28,017). Who says we are not helping the economy?

9. We never have to worry about compromising

How many times have you thought that compromising ruins everything? It is like having your foot on the brake pedal all the time. You have to be so careful of those tricky bends and those steep slopes and hills. These are just metaphors for making concessions and sharing chores. Being single removes all that hassle.

10. We volunteer more often

If you read Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone by Eric Klinenberg, you will discover that one in two adults in Manhattan are single. They are also more active socially and also volunteer much more often.

11. We have a lot more political clout

Politicians are finally waking up to the fact that we are emerging as a voting block and that we can actually sway election results. How many times in the past have politicians failed to address single issue such as taxation, housing, gender issues and abortion? They now dare not forget there are 35 million single Americans and they are going to vote in the next elections.

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12. We can disregard the wider family

You know how you get sucked into the spouse’s or partner’s family when you are in a stable relationship? That means sharing their food, outings, celebrations and even their pets! Being single removes all the obligations here and you can get on with being a better you all round.

13. We prefer not to gamble

We know the statistics and they are pretty scary! Only about 50% of marriages actually work. Now, that is a pretty risky undertaking so we just prefer to stay single.

“I didn’t really want a man that I could have. The dream or the neighborhood? I wanted the dream.” – Diane Keaton

14. We do not worry about our wardrobe

What we wear as singles is not going to be scrutinized by close friends and family. We do not have to worry about being judged. Single men never have to worry about their dorky wardrobe and women are more relaxed about what is or is not the latest in fashion.

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15. We enjoy the mess

Being a singleton is wonderful when it comes to not having to clean up and or tidy our mess every time! Just wallowing in a little dirt or untidiness never hurt anyone and there is no risk that we will get told off, criticized or locked up!

Featured photo credit: us with Diane Keaton/Kim Snellink via flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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