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15 Amazing Things Only Single People Can Enjoy

15 Amazing Things Only Single People Can Enjoy

Look how our society has changed in 70 years. Bette Davis played the spinster aunt in Now, Voyager in 1942. She bewails the fact that she will “never have a home of my own, nor a child of my own.” Marriage now is no longer the only gateway to happiness. Being single is no obstacle for a woman to have a home or even a child, if she wants to. The single status for both men and women has some pretty amazing things going for it. Here are 15 just to start with!

1. We are fitter and happier

Look at the figures – married people tend to put on weight as marital commitments ruin their fitness programs. Married men seem to be more at risk as one study shows that they are 25% more likely to pack on the pounds than their single counterparts. Being fitter also means that singles get a bigger slice of happiness.

2. We know it is a lottery

You know the scenario You thought for a long time that there was something wrong with you because you were not in a stable relationship? The fact is that it is mostly down to chance and has got nothing to do with our character. We can relax and stop worrying about all the so called mistakes we made. It is just a lottery, really.

3. We enjoy sleep a lot more

If you had to go through all the trauma of getting used to your partner’s weird sleeping habits or the thought of a future sleeping partnership, relax and enjoy the freedom of sleeping in your own bed. You can toss and turn, read, get up and sleep in as much as you want and you will disturb nobody. Except your cat, perhaps!

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 4. We have stopped agonizing about missed chances

How many times have you thought about whether this is Ms. or Mr. Right as you pondered a permanent relationship? Now that you are single, you can save all that angst and worry and concentrate on doing all the things you love doing without ever having to ask for permission.

5. We don’t need to tell anyone where we are

The constant phone calls with “Where are you?” is not only a threat to our mental health but it was also damned expensive. Being single means we can save money on our phone bill and forget all the worry.

6. We love our own company

We have learned that loneliness is no longer the awful threat it once was. We like being alone and we enjoy our own company. We have not forgotten the value of friendship and we can dedicate so much more time to friends who really matter, without ever worrying whether our spouse will like them.

7. We enjoy all the extra time

Singles just have so much time to dedicate to their careers and hobbies. There are no schools events to attend, no relatives to look after and there are no domestic issues which get in the way.

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8. We enjoy financial independence

Having a joint bank account is not nearly as much fun as having your own. No worries about spending that extra bit on a great meal, new motorbike or an extravagant holiday. Being your own personal accountant is just so much more fun. The 2010 Consumer Expenditure Survey found that singles were spending a lot more ($34,471) than married couples with no kids ($28,017). Who says we are not helping the economy?

9. We never have to worry about compromising

How many times have you thought that compromising ruins everything? It is like having your foot on the brake pedal all the time. You have to be so careful of those tricky bends and those steep slopes and hills. These are just metaphors for making concessions and sharing chores. Being single removes all that hassle.

10. We volunteer more often

If you read Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone by Eric Klinenberg, you will discover that one in two adults in Manhattan are single. They are also more active socially and also volunteer much more often.

11. We have a lot more political clout

Politicians are finally waking up to the fact that we are emerging as a voting block and that we can actually sway election results. How many times in the past have politicians failed to address single issue such as taxation, housing, gender issues and abortion? They now dare not forget there are 35 million single Americans and they are going to vote in the next elections.

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12. We can disregard the wider family

You know how you get sucked into the spouse’s or partner’s family when you are in a stable relationship? That means sharing their food, outings, celebrations and even their pets! Being single removes all the obligations here and you can get on with being a better you all round.

13. We prefer not to gamble

We know the statistics and they are pretty scary! Only about 50% of marriages actually work. Now, that is a pretty risky undertaking so we just prefer to stay single.

“I didn’t really want a man that I could have. The dream or the neighborhood? I wanted the dream.” – Diane Keaton

14. We do not worry about our wardrobe

What we wear as singles is not going to be scrutinized by close friends and family. We do not have to worry about being judged. Single men never have to worry about their dorky wardrobe and women are more relaxed about what is or is not the latest in fashion.

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15. We enjoy the mess

Being a singleton is wonderful when it comes to not having to clean up and or tidy our mess every time! Just wallowing in a little dirt or untidiness never hurt anyone and there is no risk that we will get told off, criticized or locked up!

Featured photo credit: us with Diane Keaton/Kim Snellink via flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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