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10 Amazing Things About Dating A Musician

10 Amazing Things About Dating A Musician

I once dated a musician. Every night he used to sing for me over the phone. Whatever I asked him to, no matter how silly the songs were, he never refused. He used to turn the phone’s speaker mode on, and used to play the guitar while singing. It was amazing! And you know what happened to my musician boyfriend? I married him.

It is said that musicians have unique brains that work in a positive way. It is also said that because of their unique brain works, they tend to be quite sensitive. I don’t know if ALL the musicians in the world are sensitive or not, but I know one thing for sure, they are super talented! More over, they are charming, attractive, and have unique styles of their own. And who wouldn’t want to date such flairs? Those lucky ones like me, know how amazing these musicians are. Here’s a sneak peak of some of the amazing things about dating musicians.

1. They write songs for you.

They don’t always need to be emotionally unbalanced to write songs. They can be happy, they can be tired, and they can be in love. They come up with such powerful lyrics, that, if the songs are meant for you, you will be swept away from your feet. Seems exaggerated? Absolutely not. The pop musicians will write very romantic lyrics, whereas, the rockstar musicians, or the heavy metal musicians may write some twisted lyrics that won’t make much sense to you, but trust me, the words have deep meaning. Regardless of how complicated or uncomplicated the libretto are, you have a whole song dedicated to you, and is displayed by your musician partner, and their band!

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2. They provide you with endless lists of music.

Because they compose music for you doesn’t mean they do that only. They are your live jukebox. Ask them to play, or sing anything, and they will never hesitate. One thing is for sure, they love to show off their skills. Lets face it, we love to see them show off their skills as well! And the best part is, it doesn’t matter in what situation you are in, I mean, whether you are cooking, or dressing up for a party, or even taking a small break from your work at home, your partner would harmonize their instrument, and play you multiple music.

3. They provide you with free concert tickets.

Music doesn’t stop at home. Whenever, and wherever they are playing, or not playing, you have the privilege to access the backstage, and meet your other favorite music stars. You won’t even need a pass, or no bouncer will stop you. Your only pass is your partner. To put a cherry on top, you get to click photos with them, selfies or not, and take their autograph too. Another plus point: they know who you are!

4. They are coordinated.

When they are with their band, they have to coordinate with each other so that whatever music they produce must be perfect. Because of this coordination, it seems that outside of their “jamming”, they perfectly correlate, especially with their partners. Or at least, my partner does. We harmonize immaculately. And I have seen similar behavior in other musicians, and their partners. This is quite a talent in fact!

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5. They are super talented.

Since they are talented enough to coordinate perfectly, did you think of other talents that they possess? These are the people who know how to touch your soul through music. These are the people who can play musical instruments of their choice- be it a guitar, a bass, maybe both, keyboard, drums, electric guitars, acoustic guitars, harmonica, and the list goes on. And the best part? They are so talented that they write their own lyrics, and compose their own songs. Apart from music, I know many musicians who love to cook, who paints, who acts, and who poises as fashion icons. Talk about natural talents! And us, their lucky partners, are so blessed to have them in our lives!

6. They are kids at heart.

The fact that they come up with music that have deep meanings, don’t mean they are all grown ups. These geniuses sharpen their minds through playing their favorite instruments, video games, getting involved in various sports, or something similar. They believe that playing instruments is a great way to unwind their minds. They love to poke, and joke around with each other. And yes, most of them thoroughly enjoys South Park, and Family Guy. You get to enjoy all these too!

7. They will never bore you. Never.

Whenever your beloved musician is around you, take one fact for guaranteed: you are not getting bored! It’s not only because they are kids at heart, it is also because of their charming nature, their entertaining attitudes, and their knack for music. Be it at home, or at a get-together, or even at a party, they are sure to take the lime light. And the amazing thing is, how proud you are of your partner! That smile doesn’t fade, right?

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8. They have super concentration power.

Oh yes! They can concentrate on one piece of music for hours, until that segment is PERFECT. Because they are so used to this kind of concentration, it has become a natural habit for them. Their concentration flows into their private life as well, making them devote more on you. And them having concentration power has another advantage: they are hundred percent focused on pleasing you in bed.

9. With great concentration, comes great patience.

These two talents are correlated with each other. Because, they need patience to concentrate on one thing. Similarly, they need patience to listen to your nags, your complains, your conversation on specific works of yours, and the list is endless. They usually don’t complain much. This can mean two things: one, either they are super cool, and gives you enough space as not to muddle in your private affairs, unless, you ask for their help. Two, they simply daze out, pretending to listen to you throughout. Don’t take number two as a disadvantage point. Because, for example, if you want to lease out your anger for someone, who is the best person you can share it with? Your partner, the patient listener.

10. They are perfectionists.

They will make sure their music is perfect, and they will also make sure their relationship with their partner is perfect. There are certain small matters that these musician partners will focus on, and make them faultless. Also because, despite being perfect, they are so imperfect in their own manner, that it makes them perfect too!

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Dating a musician is one magnanimous experience that you don’t want to miss out! Your partner maybe one big hot-shot musician, or maybe a struggling one, regardless of what they are, they need your motivation, and love to produce more amazing music, and make you proud. Harmonize with your partner to make your life more rhythmic!

Featured photo credit: Woman with Guitar via shutterstock.com

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Sumaiya Kabir

Sumaiya is a passionate writer who shares thoughts and ideas to help people improve themselves.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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