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10 Amazing Things About Dating A Musician

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10 Amazing Things About Dating A Musician

I once dated a musician. Every night he used to sing for me over the phone. Whatever I asked him to, no matter how silly the songs were, he never refused. He used to turn the phone’s speaker mode on, and used to play the guitar while singing. It was amazing! And you know what happened to my musician boyfriend? I married him.

It is said that musicians have unique brains that work in a positive way. It is also said that because of their unique brain works, they tend to be quite sensitive. I don’t know if ALL the musicians in the world are sensitive or not, but I know one thing for sure, they are super talented! More over, they are charming, attractive, and have unique styles of their own. And who wouldn’t want to date such flairs? Those lucky ones like me, know how amazing these musicians are. Here’s a sneak peak of some of the amazing things about dating musicians.

1. They write songs for you.

They don’t always need to be emotionally unbalanced to write songs. They can be happy, they can be tired, and they can be in love. They come up with such powerful lyrics, that, if the songs are meant for you, you will be swept away from your feet. Seems exaggerated? Absolutely not. The pop musicians will write very romantic lyrics, whereas, the rockstar musicians, or the heavy metal musicians may write some twisted lyrics that won’t make much sense to you, but trust me, the words have deep meaning. Regardless of how complicated or uncomplicated the libretto are, you have a whole song dedicated to you, and is displayed by your musician partner, and their band!

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2. They provide you with endless lists of music.

Because they compose music for you doesn’t mean they do that only. They are your live jukebox. Ask them to play, or sing anything, and they will never hesitate. One thing is for sure, they love to show off their skills. Lets face it, we love to see them show off their skills as well! And the best part is, it doesn’t matter in what situation you are in, I mean, whether you are cooking, or dressing up for a party, or even taking a small break from your work at home, your partner would harmonize their instrument, and play you multiple music.

3. They provide you with free concert tickets.

Music doesn’t stop at home. Whenever, and wherever they are playing, or not playing, you have the privilege to access the backstage, and meet your other favorite music stars. You won’t even need a pass, or no bouncer will stop you. Your only pass is your partner. To put a cherry on top, you get to click photos with them, selfies or not, and take their autograph too. Another plus point: they know who you are!

4. They are coordinated.

When they are with their band, they have to coordinate with each other so that whatever music they produce must be perfect. Because of this coordination, it seems that outside of their “jamming”, they perfectly correlate, especially with their partners. Or at least, my partner does. We harmonize immaculately. And I have seen similar behavior in other musicians, and their partners. This is quite a talent in fact!

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5. They are super talented.

Since they are talented enough to coordinate perfectly, did you think of other talents that they possess? These are the people who know how to touch your soul through music. These are the people who can play musical instruments of their choice- be it a guitar, a bass, maybe both, keyboard, drums, electric guitars, acoustic guitars, harmonica, and the list goes on. And the best part? They are so talented that they write their own lyrics, and compose their own songs. Apart from music, I know many musicians who love to cook, who paints, who acts, and who poises as fashion icons. Talk about natural talents! And us, their lucky partners, are so blessed to have them in our lives!

6. They are kids at heart.

The fact that they come up with music that have deep meanings, don’t mean they are all grown ups. These geniuses sharpen their minds through playing their favorite instruments, video games, getting involved in various sports, or something similar. They believe that playing instruments is a great way to unwind their minds. They love to poke, and joke around with each other. And yes, most of them thoroughly enjoys South Park, and Family Guy. You get to enjoy all these too!

7. They will never bore you. Never.

Whenever your beloved musician is around you, take one fact for guaranteed: you are not getting bored! It’s not only because they are kids at heart, it is also because of their charming nature, their entertaining attitudes, and their knack for music. Be it at home, or at a get-together, or even at a party, they are sure to take the lime light. And the amazing thing is, how proud you are of your partner! That smile doesn’t fade, right?

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8. They have super concentration power.

Oh yes! They can concentrate on one piece of music for hours, until that segment is PERFECT. Because they are so used to this kind of concentration, it has become a natural habit for them. Their concentration flows into their private life as well, making them devote more on you. And them having concentration power has another advantage: they are hundred percent focused on pleasing you in bed.

9. With great concentration, comes great patience.

These two talents are correlated with each other. Because, they need patience to concentrate on one thing. Similarly, they need patience to listen to your nags, your complains, your conversation on specific works of yours, and the list is endless. They usually don’t complain much. This can mean two things: one, either they are super cool, and gives you enough space as not to muddle in your private affairs, unless, you ask for their help. Two, they simply daze out, pretending to listen to you throughout. Don’t take number two as a disadvantage point. Because, for example, if you want to lease out your anger for someone, who is the best person you can share it with? Your partner, the patient listener.

10. They are perfectionists.

They will make sure their music is perfect, and they will also make sure their relationship with their partner is perfect. There are certain small matters that these musician partners will focus on, and make them faultless. Also because, despite being perfect, they are so imperfect in their own manner, that it makes them perfect too!

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Dating a musician is one magnanimous experience that you don’t want to miss out! Your partner maybe one big hot-shot musician, or maybe a struggling one, regardless of what they are, they need your motivation, and love to produce more amazing music, and make you proud. Harmonize with your partner to make your life more rhythmic!

Featured photo credit: Woman with Guitar via shutterstock.com

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Sumaiya Kabir

Sumaiya is a passionate writer who shares thoughts and ideas to help people improve themselves.

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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