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10 Things To Remember If You Are In Love With An Only Child

10 Things To Remember If You Are In Love With An Only Child

Being an only child myself, and having been in love, I know that we can be quite difficult to be in a relationship in. But there’s a good reason for this, when we were growing up, we spent a lot of time by ourselves and so we’ve had lesser interactions than those who have had siblings. It is probably one of the main reasons why we developed our social skills much later on in life.

But saying that, we do have some unique characteristic traits which can only be found in those who have no siblings. And to help you unravel these gems so you can see our true selves, here are 10 things that you need to remember if you are in love with an only child.

1. We want to be appreciated and adored

When we were growing up, our parents made us the centre of their attention. So we were well loved and admired during our childhood years and we carried this weight of expectation in our  relationships. This can be burden to many people who are in a relationship with an only child. But you should not let this put you off. Sometimes, we just need to be reminded that the world doesn’t revolved around us. It will take a while for us to get used to this notion, but we’ll get the hang of it.

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2. We want to be part of a big family

As you’d expect, when we were growing up, it was just me, mum and my dad. We envied our friends who had brothers and sisters and we always imagined what our lives would have been liked if we did have brothers and sisters. So when we do seek a relationship, we would like to be with someone who is part of a big family. It’s our own natural way of making up for growing up in a tight knit family and having less interaction.

3. We see our parents as our best friends

We don’t see our parents as just a parent. We see them as our friends and we also have very strong bond with them. There are no barriers or restrictions to what we can talk about and we always frequently keep in touch with them. My parents know all about my previous girlfriends and what happened during my day. Although, I won’t say absolutely everything (if you know what I mean).

We do tend to be quite attached to our parents, because we know we can trust them. And by keeping in touch with them, it is our way of saying thank you for giving us all the love they gave us when we were growing up. But take this as a good sign, because if we can look after our folks, we can look after your folks.

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4. We don’t usually ask for help

I may not speak for every only child, but I certainly knew that when I was growing up, I certainly had a hard time asking people for help. Just recently, I was trying to clean the gutter and my friendly neighbour asked me if I needed help. I said no, but the extra help would have been nice.

Since we never had any siblings, we didn’t have anyone to ask for help. We’ve never had a bigger brother to stand by our sides, never had someone to talk to at home who was from my generation, so we just had ourselves to rely on. But the plus side to this is that we became very self-reliant, so we don’t usually need to ask people for help.

5. We crave closeness

This probably stems back to being centre of attention. Since we’ve never had many opportunities to share experiences with someone other than our parents, we do crave intimacy and creating a strong bond with different people. And here’s another thing, we tend to be quite touchy and feely too. So if you are sleeping in the same bed with an only child, be prepared to be the little spoon.

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6. We don’t like being called spoilt

A lot of people assume that an only child is spoilt. On behalf of every only child this is a yes and no. Yes we were the centre of attention to our parents and they did fully support us in whatever we wanted to do in our lives. But we were really grateful of their support. We never take our parents support for granted and we always made sure that we can make them happy for what we do. So when someone calls us a spoilt brat, we do tend to take it to heart. We never take anything for granted.

7. We spend a lot of time with our thoughts.

Since we spent quite a lot of time by ourselves, we spend a lot of time inside our head. This can be a good and bad thing. It is good because we come up with loads of crazy and wacky ideas, but it can be bad because some of these thoughts can lead on to some unnecessary worries. But in time, we learn to spend less time in our head and more on what is happening in the present moment.

8. We don’t want to have just one kid

After going through motions as an only child, we definitely don’t want to be a parent to just one child. We will know what they will go through based on our personal experiences. We want to give them the things we never had.

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9. We are extremely loyal

We value our best friends. They are like the brothers or sisters that we’ve never had (literally). And because we are extremely loyal, our friendships tend to be long lasting. At the age of 28, I am still in contact with my best friends from school and university.

10. We need time to ourselves

Like most people who are an only child, we tend to be introverts. We like to read and like to spend some alone time. We are so used to spending time with ourselves that we are hardwired to use our alone time to recharge our batteries. We don’t need that long, but it will benefit us in the long term by keeping our energy levels in check.

Featured photo credit: Pascal via flickr.com

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Last Updated on June 3, 2020

19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

What is success?

Is it wealth? Is it happiness? Is it fame?

The late Zig Ziglar was one of the most respected modern day experts on success, motivation, and leading a balanced life. In his book Born to Win!, he argues that success cannot be defined in one sentence, but instead it is comprised of many things. One could argue that the definition depends on the individual and that one size does not fit all[1].

Here are 19 different definitions of success. Not all of these will resonate with you, but chances are at least a few of them will. Use these or find inspiration here to create your own definition of success that can be applied to your unique life.

1. Success is always doing your best.

Success can be achieved when you try your best in all aspects of everything you do, even if that doesn’t lead to big results. If you’ve done your best, you should feel proud of your efforts.

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2. Success is properly setting concrete goals.

Be realistic and concrete when setting goals. Success does not come from setting abstract goals. If you know where you’re heading, that is a success in itself, even if you don’t ultimately arrive to the planned destination.

3. Success is having a place to call home.

Home is where your heart soars. You are always successful when you can call a place home. Home doesn’t have to be a specific structure. It can be a country, a city, or even a person. If you have a place you feel comfortable and safe, you’re already achieving something great.

4. Success is understanding the difference between need and want.

If you can meet your monthly obligations and fulfill your basic needs, you are successful. Being able to identify when you absolutely need something and when you can do without it often leads to financial stability and is a great way to succeed.

5. Success is believing you can.

If you believe you can, you will succeed. Self-belief doesn’t come naturally to everyone, so if you’re able to tell yourself that you can achieve the goals in your plans, you’re doing great.

6. Success is remembering to balance work with passion.

Work without passion creates undue stress and empty achievements. Focus on what excites you. If you’re happy at your job, that’s great. However, even if you aren’t, you can balance your formal job with hobbies or volunteer work you’re passionate about.

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7. Success is taking care of your needs.

Remember to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Self-care is essential if you want to have any meaningful impact on the world around you.

8. Success is learning that you sometimes have to say no.

Success only comes with a balanced life. Part of balance is learning to say no. Saying no doesn’t mean you are selfish; it simply means you have priorities and know what you need to give your attention to at any given time.

9. Success is knowing your life is filled with abundance.

Love, health, friends, family…life is filled with abundance. Recognizing this is an important step to feeling grateful for all life has given you. If you can feel this, you are already experiencing success.

10. Success is understanding you cannot keep what you don’t give away.

You will only succeed if you help others succeed. Learning to give instead of always take is part of creating a world we all want to live in. When you help others, you will also create an environment where others want to help you.

11. Success is overcoming fear.

Conquering a fear makes you feel invincible. Even if it’s confronting just one small fear each week, that is certainly something to feel proud of. The bigger fears will take more time, but any work you do to overcome fear will lead to success.

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12. Success is learning something new each day.

Successful people understand that learning never stops. Take time each day to converse with someone with opposing views, read an interesting article on a topic you know little about, or watch a TED talk on new research. It doesn’t take long to learn, so get started now.

13. Success is learning that losing a few battles can help you win a war.

Successful people choose their battles wisely. When you know which battles will ultimately help you achieve your goals, you will be successful.

14. Success is loving and being loved back.

Opening your heart to others is difficult and can produce fear. Having the courage to love and accept love from others is a step toward a fulfilling life and great success.

15. Success is standing your ground when you believe in something.

Successful people never give up on things they believe with all their heart. You may hold views that many people disagree with, but if you’ve done your research and know that it’s the right belief for you, you shouldn’t let it go without a fight.

16. Success is not giving up.

Perseverance creates grit, and grit achieves success. Even if it takes years to achieve a goal, persisting is key if you want success.

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17. Success is celebrating small victories.

Anytime a goal is reached or an obstacle is overcome, take time to celebrate, even if it’s something small. All goals require smaller objectives to be achieved first, so each time you complete one, take time to appreciate the work you put into it.

18. Success is never letting a disability hold you back.

Disabilities do not define a person’s success. The body and mind will compensate. Just because you can’t do absolutely everything doesn’t mean you can’t do something. Do what your body and mind allow and always push yourself. That is true success.

19. Success is understanding that you control your destiny.

Your destiny is controlled by you and you alone. Take responsibility for your actions and their consequences and you’ll find that you naturally become more successful.

The Bottom Line

Success can be defined in many ways. If you are experiencing happiness, love, or adventure in this moment, you’ve already found success. Keep it up.

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Featured photo credit: Dino Reichmuth via unsplash.com

Reference

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