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Want To Be Successful? Follow These 13 Things Truly Confident People Do

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Want To Be Successful?  Follow These 13 Things Truly Confident People Do

“If you put yourself in a position where you have to stretch outside your comfort zone, then you are forced to expand your consciousness.” Les Brown

Confidence is something that a person has that once you see them you can tell they’ve got it. It can range from being arrogant like some of our sports heroes or very quiet persona of a Bill Gates or Oprah Winfrey.

Have you ever noticed that some people are just able to get what they want from anyone at any time? These are the confident people. Confident people are always at the forefront of everything great. They make things happen compared to the others who are afraid and skittish. Confident people do things that can and is changing the world. Their names are the names we all remember, they think outside the box.

On the other hand, there are the others who either fake confidence or have none at all. The ones who try to get the attention of everyone in the room by being loud, boisterous and always ready for a fight. The ones without, are always hiding in a corner hoping that no one will notice they are there or draw attention to them.

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Confident people are more likely to be great inventors, make impressions on the world at large and they think much larger than people who aren’t. They are the ones who are being promoted and earning more money. Confident people are the ones who get the girl or guy while everyone else sits around and wonder how they did it.

You too can learn to become more confident and self-assured. Your life doesn’t have to be perfect for you to be confident. You only have to imitate what the truly confident people do. Learn from them and your confidence will grow as well.

1. They do not need external forces to be happy

People who are confident are happy with who they are. They know that to be happy with what you are doing you must also be happy with who you are. They may not be the brightest, best looking, etc. but one thing for sure they do not need anyone telling them otherwise because they are happy in their skin.

Confident people get their strength and confidence in the things they accomplish and not what others perception of them are. They couldn’t care less about what insecure critiques have to say about them. Confident people know that detractors will never achieve their greatness because they lack one of the main ingredients to success.

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2. They are not judgmental

People who are confident do not have the time to be trying to tear others down. They see people as people and know that everyone is very special and have something special to offer. They are so confident that they do not need to tear people down to feel good about themselves. Insecure people who lack confidence does that to others. Confident people do not get any gratification in making other people unhappy or insecure.

3. They make their “yes” means “yes” 

Confident people only say “yes” when they are sure they mean “yes”. They love to challenge themselves and will never back down from a challenge. They want to be pushed so they can grow. They are eager to say yes to self-development and self-improvement initiative. They know that their confidence only increases with every challenge they overcome and every test they have passed. If they are not convinced in their ability to get the job done right, they will easily say no with conviction. There is no room for second guessing what their answers are.

4. They listen attentively

Confident people listen very attentively and speak less than others. Since they have nothing to prove, they do not need to convince anyone that they know what they are talking about. They let their work speak for them. They are that confident. They are also fully aware that listening is a great way to learn, and confident people make an effort to learn something new constantly.

5. They are not uncertain when they speak

Confident people seldom leave room for misunderstanding. There isn’t any second guessing them. There isn’t any half-heartedness when they communicate with others. They are fully aware that it is difficult to get people to listen to you, so they know their message has to be forthcoming and very clear.

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6. They take care of themselves

Confident people take very good care of themselves both mentally and physically. They not only want to succeed in their business life but also in their personal life and more so in their physical appearance. They know that when you look good you also feel much better about yourself. Confident people know you cannot be representing a business to people and expect them to put their trust in you when you are not confident.

7. They are not attention seekers

Individuals who are comfortable with who they are don’t crave being the center of attention. They realize early that there is no need to draw attention to themselves, especially attention that isn’t productive. Confident people always bring the right attitude to the table. They are better at leading, closing deals and making deals. They are more inclined to do things to uplift and progression of the human race as a whole.

8. They are givers rather than takers

People who are confident are more inclined to be givers than takers. They are always eager to help others who are in a lesser position. They want others to feel good about themselves as well and so tend to be more motivating and are great at writing great motivational and inspiring books and quotes. The live to inspire and motivate people to be the best they can be.

9. They aren’t afraid to say they were wrong

Individuals who are very confident are not afraid to accept that they can be incorrect at times. They put their thoughts out there so they can be challenged and for others to prove them wrong. This is how they learn and grow. They see it as a two-way learning method. They do not get insulted or feel badly because someone prove their theories wrong. Confident people see correction as an opportunity to become better.

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10. They celebrate other people’s success

When you are confident, you will rejoice when others succeed. You see it as an amazing feat. They are not jealous or envious of others and so can honestly be as happy for others as they are for themselves. People who are insecure tend to doubt themselves and try to criticize and downplay others success. Confident people know that their strengths come from within them and have no time for feeling insecure.

11. They aren’t afraid to take risks

Confident people are never afraid to take risks. They are eager to take on a challenge and are eager to go after an opportunity when it arises. They do not see things like “can’t”. Everything is always a possibility and a test they enjoy undertaking. They do not allow their fear to keep them back. They know that if they do not take a chance they will never know if they would be successful.

12. They enjoy team work

When you are confident in yourself, you want to share your knowledge with others and learn from them and what better way to do so than to work with other people. Confident people are fully aware of their strengths and weaknesses and so want to be around people who will complement them and challenge them at the same time. They do not see it as a weakness to ask for help from others who are more knowledgeable than they are.

13. They take time to be happy

Confident people love to have fun and choose the things that truly give them a fun time. Most confident people would rather be surrounded by friends and families than others. Their type of fun is more about the things that truly matter. They are not trying to prove anything to anyone, but they will make sure that their families are their number one priority.

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Confidence is something that we all can develop and build. Although building one’s confidence takes time it is imperative that we all spend time improving our self-confidence so we can become better individuals. Practice makes improvement and so will your confidence if you work on it regularly.

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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