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Want To Be Successful? Follow These 13 Things Truly Confident People Do

Want To Be Successful?  Follow These 13 Things Truly Confident People Do

“If you put yourself in a position where you have to stretch outside your comfort zone, then you are forced to expand your consciousness.” Les Brown

Confidence is something that a person has that once you see them you can tell they’ve got it. It can range from being arrogant like some of our sports heroes or very quiet persona of a Bill Gates or Oprah Winfrey.

Have you ever noticed that some people are just able to get what they want from anyone at any time? These are the confident people. Confident people are always at the forefront of everything great. They make things happen compared to the others who are afraid and skittish. Confident people do things that can and is changing the world. Their names are the names we all remember, they think outside the box.

On the other hand, there are the others who either fake confidence or have none at all. The ones who try to get the attention of everyone in the room by being loud, boisterous and always ready for a fight. The ones without, are always hiding in a corner hoping that no one will notice they are there or draw attention to them.

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Confident people are more likely to be great inventors, make impressions on the world at large and they think much larger than people who aren’t. They are the ones who are being promoted and earning more money. Confident people are the ones who get the girl or guy while everyone else sits around and wonder how they did it.

You too can learn to become more confident and self-assured. Your life doesn’t have to be perfect for you to be confident. You only have to imitate what the truly confident people do. Learn from them and your confidence will grow as well.

1. They do not need external forces to be happy

People who are confident are happy with who they are. They know that to be happy with what you are doing you must also be happy with who you are. They may not be the brightest, best looking, etc. but one thing for sure they do not need anyone telling them otherwise because they are happy in their skin.

Confident people get their strength and confidence in the things they accomplish and not what others perception of them are. They couldn’t care less about what insecure critiques have to say about them. Confident people know that detractors will never achieve their greatness because they lack one of the main ingredients to success.

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2. They are not judgmental

People who are confident do not have the time to be trying to tear others down. They see people as people and know that everyone is very special and have something special to offer. They are so confident that they do not need to tear people down to feel good about themselves. Insecure people who lack confidence does that to others. Confident people do not get any gratification in making other people unhappy or insecure.

3. They make their “yes” means “yes” 

Confident people only say “yes” when they are sure they mean “yes”. They love to challenge themselves and will never back down from a challenge. They want to be pushed so they can grow. They are eager to say yes to self-development and self-improvement initiative. They know that their confidence only increases with every challenge they overcome and every test they have passed. If they are not convinced in their ability to get the job done right, they will easily say no with conviction. There is no room for second guessing what their answers are.

4. They listen attentively

Confident people listen very attentively and speak less than others. Since they have nothing to prove, they do not need to convince anyone that they know what they are talking about. They let their work speak for them. They are that confident. They are also fully aware that listening is a great way to learn, and confident people make an effort to learn something new constantly.

5. They are not uncertain when they speak

Confident people seldom leave room for misunderstanding. There isn’t any second guessing them. There isn’t any half-heartedness when they communicate with others. They are fully aware that it is difficult to get people to listen to you, so they know their message has to be forthcoming and very clear.

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6. They take care of themselves

Confident people take very good care of themselves both mentally and physically. They not only want to succeed in their business life but also in their personal life and more so in their physical appearance. They know that when you look good you also feel much better about yourself. Confident people know you cannot be representing a business to people and expect them to put their trust in you when you are not confident.

7. They are not attention seekers

Individuals who are comfortable with who they are don’t crave being the center of attention. They realize early that there is no need to draw attention to themselves, especially attention that isn’t productive. Confident people always bring the right attitude to the table. They are better at leading, closing deals and making deals. They are more inclined to do things to uplift and progression of the human race as a whole.

8. They are givers rather than takers

People who are confident are more inclined to be givers than takers. They are always eager to help others who are in a lesser position. They want others to feel good about themselves as well and so tend to be more motivating and are great at writing great motivational and inspiring books and quotes. The live to inspire and motivate people to be the best they can be.

9. They aren’t afraid to say they were wrong

Individuals who are very confident are not afraid to accept that they can be incorrect at times. They put their thoughts out there so they can be challenged and for others to prove them wrong. This is how they learn and grow. They see it as a two-way learning method. They do not get insulted or feel badly because someone prove their theories wrong. Confident people see correction as an opportunity to become better.

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10. They celebrate other people’s success

When you are confident, you will rejoice when others succeed. You see it as an amazing feat. They are not jealous or envious of others and so can honestly be as happy for others as they are for themselves. People who are insecure tend to doubt themselves and try to criticize and downplay others success. Confident people know that their strengths come from within them and have no time for feeling insecure.

11. They aren’t afraid to take risks

Confident people are never afraid to take risks. They are eager to take on a challenge and are eager to go after an opportunity when it arises. They do not see things like “can’t”. Everything is always a possibility and a test they enjoy undertaking. They do not allow their fear to keep them back. They know that if they do not take a chance they will never know if they would be successful.

12. They enjoy team work

When you are confident in yourself, you want to share your knowledge with others and learn from them and what better way to do so than to work with other people. Confident people are fully aware of their strengths and weaknesses and so want to be around people who will complement them and challenge them at the same time. They do not see it as a weakness to ask for help from others who are more knowledgeable than they are.

13. They take time to be happy

Confident people love to have fun and choose the things that truly give them a fun time. Most confident people would rather be surrounded by friends and families than others. Their type of fun is more about the things that truly matter. They are not trying to prove anything to anyone, but they will make sure that their families are their number one priority.

Confidence is something that we all can develop and build. Although building one’s confidence takes time it is imperative that we all spend time improving our self-confidence so we can become better individuals. Practice makes improvement and so will your confidence if you work on it regularly.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2019

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

Many of us feel awkward talking to strangers. I’m a very outgoing person, even though I sometimes feel uncomfortable walking up to someone and asking a question or starting a conversation. I consider myself pretty high up on the extrovert meter. So what is it that makes us pause and become worried or anxious about talking to people we don’t know?

In this article, we will discuss why we feel this way as well as some tips on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Step right up, don’t be shy!

Why We Feel Awkward Talking to Strangers

The next time you feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger, tell yourself that’s completely normal. There are numerous reasons why it’s actually natural to feel awkward talking to strangers:

Our Stress Levels Rise Around Strangers

Numerous studies have show that our levels of cortisol go up when we are around strangers.[1] Cortisol is the hormone inside of us which produces stress responses.[2]
So there you go, right off the bat you can see part of your standard response to strangers is due to a chemical reaction!

A very interesting by product of increased cortisol is that it makes us less empathetic. More than likely this can be traced to our evolution. The increase in the cortisol and the corresponding decrease in empathy makes us want to stay away from strangers. We are biologically wired to feel concern around strangers.

Evolution Taught Us to Be Wary

Evolution has also taught us to be wary of strangers in general. Humans as a whole have spent a large chunk of their history banded together in small protective groups. We did this in order to help protect each other and maximize resources.

When you think about it in this context, outsiders to our small groups or strangers are considered potential threats. Fear of strangers is common across almost all human cultures.

Culturally Conditioned

We can also thank our society for helping us feel uncomfortable and sometimes afraid of strangers. The term “stranger danger” is something most of us can relate to either growing up or raising kids. Or both.

I remember hearing this from my parents, mostly about not getting in someone’s car I didn’t know. And as the father of 2 teenage girls, you can be sure I’ve talked to them about this very concept more times that they want to hear.

The thought that strangers can be dangerous is built into us as it is. Toss in the amplification of the media on strangers doing things such as kidnapping kids and it takes it to an even higher level.

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Now that we’ve reviewed some of the reasons why we are nervous, let’s look at why you should talk to strangers more.

Benefits of Getting over the Awkwardness

Let’s take a quick look at some of the advantages of how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward. These are some high level benefits of talking to strangers.

1. Broadens Your Network

After you talk to someone, you didn’t know previously they become someone you know at least a little bit. This alone helps broaden your network of people you know. This is helpful in many ways whether it is work related or socially related.

2. Improves Your Communication Skills

I am a huge proponent of the value of solid communication skills and have written about it often. The more you talk to people, especially people you don’t know, the better your communication skills become.

Interacting with a wider variety of people will bring the added benefit of improving your communication skills.

3. Continually Learning

So many of us don’t actively seek to learn new things. This is one of the primary keys to staying engaged in life and our own personal self fulfillment.

Almost every time I speak to someone I didn’t know previously, I’ve learned something new. When we speak to strangers, it pushes us out of our comfort zones and we tend to learn new things.

4. Increases Self Confidence

Every time we learn to do something we were previously anxious about, we feel better about ourselves.

Forcing ourselves to talk to strangers will lead to increased self confidence. As we get more and more comfortable doing something that previously made us feel awkward, our self confidence will go up and up.

So, how to talk to strangers to reap these benefits?

How to Talk to Strangers

Here are some tips to on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

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1. Say Hello

Putting “say hello” first may seem a bit obvious but let’s take a deeper look. Much of the social awkwardness when speaking to strangers is simply breaking the ice. The first words that will engage someone.

Most people will respond when someone says hello or hi to them. And those that don’t, you probably don’t want to talk to anyway.

Practice being the person that opens the door to a conversation. Say hello.

2. Ask About Them

Something that I have noticed over the years is that people love to talk about themselves. Even fairly private people tend to open up when asked about events in their lives.

You can ask leading questions that get people to talk about themselves and recent events. Things like recent movies watched or the summer vacation are great to get someone talking.

As a father, I also know that people love to talk about their kids. Asking about kids is a fairly easy topic to bring up and in general, most people will expound upon all the great things their kids do or are involved with.

3. Just Do It

One of the biggest reasons we don’t do things we want to or know we should is because we overthink it. Quit thinking about it so much and just do it.

When you give yourself the time to analyze every little angle about a situation, you also give plenty of time to talk yourself out of it. You’ll wind up thinking what if this happens or what if that happens.

Try to force yourself to jump right in without thinking about it too much. Whenever I have done this, I always feel great about it afterwards, no matter how it turned out.

4. Don’t Take It Personal

One of the greatest lessons in life I ever learned was don’t take anything personally. We all go through life with our own sets of experiences and see things through our own lens. The way people react to different situations has almost nothing to do with us. It has to do with previous experiences and the way people feel about things other than us.

When someone’s reaction isn’t what you’d hoped or expected, chances are it has nothing to do with you. Remember that and keep it in context.

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5. Get a Chuckle If Possible

I used the word chuckle purposely because it makes me laugh. In my opinion, it’s one of those funny words. We all like to laugh because it makes us feel good. And when someone makes us laugh, we typically remember those people in a positive light.

One of the best ways to make a conversation easy and free flowing is to get some laughter going. It doesn’t mean you have to be the master joke teller or anything. See if you can work in a way to make the person you are talking to get a smile or some laughter in. In fact, laughing at yourself maybe a nice try.

6. Detach

A great feeling is when you don’t mind which way something turns out, that you will be fine no matter what happens. Kind of like when I watch my two favorite football teams play against each other. I don’t really care who wins, I just want a fun game.

Treat talking to strangers the same way. You don’t really care how the conversation goes because you are detaching from the outcome. Make it a fun time with yourself and if the conversation goes well, awesome! If not then no big deal, move on.

7. Share Your Stories

Well, all like to feel connected to other people. And many times we wind up hanging out with people that we have things in common with. No surprise here.

To help with how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward, tell stories that have commonalities with the person you are talking to. Kids are an easy one. I have a daughter who was a competitive cheerleader and now plays club volleyball. I have instant connection and stories with strangers I speak with who have kids that play sports. It’s easy to relate to.

So when you are speaking to a stranger and you have a story or mutual connection point, bring it up.

8. Give a Compliment

Almost everyone likes hearing a compliment, whether they admit to it or not. As a general rule, we don’t give out enough compliments. It’s amazing how one small remark someone tosses your way about how good you look can literally make your entire day.

When you are speaking with someone you don’t know, see if you can work a compliment in. Nothing creepy here. Not a good idea to tell someone you just met that they are the prettiest or handsomest person you ever met. However, if you can share how you like their tattoo or shoes or something like that, it will help put the conversation into an easy going, smiling place.

9. Relax Your Body Language

If you go into a situation all worried and nervous, it shows on your body. Your shoulders are tensed up, there’s a look of consternation on your face, things like that.

When you engage a stranger in conversation, make it a point to relax your body language. Take a deep breath before you engage the person, let your body relax, and put a smile on your face. This will help relax you and it has the added benefit of putting the other person more at ease.

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If they see that you are relaxed, it helps them relax. Plus having open, engaging body language is very conducive to inviting someone to open up into a conversation with you.

10. Practice, Practice, Practice

Like everything else in life, talking to strangers gets easier with practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Make it a point to talk to several strangers each week and it will definitely help you relax as you do it more and more.

After a while, it will become something you don’t even think about, you just do it. And that takes all of the awkwardness out of being in these type situations.

The Bottom Line

As we have seen, it is perfectly natural to feel awkward talking to strangers. We are biologically built that way and we have our own society constantly warning us how dangerous it is. It’s no wonder we feel awkward talking to strangers!

There are numerous benefits to learning to be more comfortable talking to strangers. See if you can employ some of the techniques mentioned to learn how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Once you start practicing speaking with strangers more often and utilizing some of the tips, you will become more comfortable doing so. This in turn will lead to a learned new skill and increased self confidence.

Remember, everyone you know was a stranger at one time. Now get out there and make some new friends.

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

Reference

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