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20 Things Only People Who Are Truly In Love Understand

20 Things Only People Who Are Truly In Love Understand

Love doesn’t pop out of a movie screen. It develops and starts from a sudden sparkle and could turn into an inferno. Here are some things you will understand if you are in love.

1. You have someone who you can spend quality time with

Time spent together is what builds a relationship and draws lovers together. You may have distractions in work and other commitments but someone who truly loves you will always be there for you.

2. You have someone who admires you regardless of your flaws

You can’t be perfect. But your lover cares and understands your limitations. And he is willing to stand by and offer you all the love you need.

3. You have someone who calls you all the time

You have someone who cares so much to call you and asks you about even something as insignificant as what you ate in the morning or what outfit you will be wearing out.

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4. You have someone you miss when they are gone

Somehow you are connected to him/her so much you want to have the person at your side all the time. You don’t want them to ever leave, and when they do it is like a part of you is gone.

5. Every kiss triggers something special

Kisses and holds are a display of affection. The thing about it is that you feel special and important when the other person does such things to you.

6. You daydream and fantasize a lot

It is not perfect and sometimes it is an illusion. But such fantasies however take you to some place exciting and marvelous as you think of how perfect things will be with your lover.

7. You have butterflies within when he/she is with you

You blush, you are nervous, you light up, you sparkle, and you are different and satisfied when he/she is with you. You have something that is mysterious and appealing takeover you when he comes around.

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8. You have someone to support you

Whether physically or emotionally you have someone to support you and make you not feel alone in this world. You can have his support even without asking for it.

9. You are included in their decisions

If your lover is traveling or making an important career decision, he/she has to find how you can fit in and be a part of it.

10. You have someone who respects your views

Your opinions or views are not belittled or thrown aside but respected by your lover. He/she truly cares about you and wants your decisions or beliefs to count.

11. He/she gives you that long romantic look

He/she can stare at you and give you that romantic look that makes you feel special and connected to them.

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12. You can have an idea of what the future will look like

You can imagine and know what could happen to you both if you stayed together. If you are going to have a baby together you can have a glimpse of what your kid will be like.

13. You have someone who can laugh at your jokes

It doesn’t matter whether your jokes are funny or not. But you have someone who will laugh with you at your jokes.

14. You find yourself jealous at times

You can’t help but try to know what is going on in his life. You will check and double check that there is no one else in his life but you.

15. You can’t imagine being in love with another person

It seems you are stuck with this person. You have found happiness and satisfaction. It will be difficult to have another person replace him/her or even try to come and take over his/her place in your heart.

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16. You now have special days

February 14th or his/her birthday cannot just be forgotten or put aside. You have special days that should be celebrated with him/her.

17. You want to know how they feel about you

You are not selfish but you really want to know if he/she feels the same way about you the same way you feel about them.

18. You are a believer in love

You are an optimist and you now believe that love exists. You experience and can even offer others your honest opinion on the subject of love.

19. You now love romantic movies…

You want to be connected to other scenarios of love and happy moments shared between couples.

20. …And books too

You can now go to the book store and buy a book by Nicholas Sparks

Featured photo credit: htttp://www.stokpic.com via stokpic.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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