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20 Things Only People Who Are Truly In Love Understand

20 Things Only People Who Are Truly In Love Understand

Love doesn’t pop out of a movie screen. It develops and starts from a sudden sparkle and could turn into an inferno. Here are some things you will understand if you are in love.

1. You have someone who you can spend quality time with

Time spent together is what builds a relationship and draws lovers together. You may have distractions in work and other commitments but someone who truly loves you will always be there for you.

2. You have someone who admires you regardless of your flaws

You can’t be perfect. But your lover cares and understands your limitations. And he is willing to stand by and offer you all the love you need.

3. You have someone who calls you all the time

You have someone who cares so much to call you and asks you about even something as insignificant as what you ate in the morning or what outfit you will be wearing out.

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4. You have someone you miss when they are gone

Somehow you are connected to him/her so much you want to have the person at your side all the time. You don’t want them to ever leave, and when they do it is like a part of you is gone.

5. Every kiss triggers something special

Kisses and holds are a display of affection. The thing about it is that you feel special and important when the other person does such things to you.

6. You daydream and fantasize a lot

It is not perfect and sometimes it is an illusion. But such fantasies however take you to some place exciting and marvelous as you think of how perfect things will be with your lover.

7. You have butterflies within when he/she is with you

You blush, you are nervous, you light up, you sparkle, and you are different and satisfied when he/she is with you. You have something that is mysterious and appealing takeover you when he comes around.

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8. You have someone to support you

Whether physically or emotionally you have someone to support you and make you not feel alone in this world. You can have his support even without asking for it.

9. You are included in their decisions

If your lover is traveling or making an important career decision, he/she has to find how you can fit in and be a part of it.

10. You have someone who respects your views

Your opinions or views are not belittled or thrown aside but respected by your lover. He/she truly cares about you and wants your decisions or beliefs to count.

11. He/she gives you that long romantic look

He/she can stare at you and give you that romantic look that makes you feel special and connected to them.

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12. You can have an idea of what the future will look like

You can imagine and know what could happen to you both if you stayed together. If you are going to have a baby together you can have a glimpse of what your kid will be like.

13. You have someone who can laugh at your jokes

It doesn’t matter whether your jokes are funny or not. But you have someone who will laugh with you at your jokes.

14. You find yourself jealous at times

You can’t help but try to know what is going on in his life. You will check and double check that there is no one else in his life but you.

15. You can’t imagine being in love with another person

It seems you are stuck with this person. You have found happiness and satisfaction. It will be difficult to have another person replace him/her or even try to come and take over his/her place in your heart.

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16. You now have special days

February 14th or his/her birthday cannot just be forgotten or put aside. You have special days that should be celebrated with him/her.

17. You want to know how they feel about you

You are not selfish but you really want to know if he/she feels the same way about you the same way you feel about them.

18. You are a believer in love

You are an optimist and you now believe that love exists. You experience and can even offer others your honest opinion on the subject of love.

19. You now love romantic movies…

You want to be connected to other scenarios of love and happy moments shared between couples.

20. …And books too

You can now go to the book store and buy a book by Nicholas Sparks

Featured photo credit: htttp://www.stokpic.com via stokpic.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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