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Ways To Overcome Both Fears and Phobias

Ways To Overcome Both Fears and Phobias

It can be a true struggle to face long hidden fears and phobias. These fears and phobias get the best of us and sometimes keep us from doing activities that we may actually enjoy doing. I know I have struggled with fears and phobias for my entire life. However, I am learning to let go and believe that I can take a step at a time to forget them and move on to live a life that I am proud of. I know I can teach you a few things that will let you overcome your own fears and phobias. Here is how:

1. Face them head on

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t face these fears, as it is completely okay to face them even head on. When saying “head on” I mean placing yourself directly viewing the fear, even though you may hesitate and be fearful. The brilliant part is that the fear may not even be scary. The saying is completely true: “Mind Over Matter.” So next time, even though you may be hesitant, fearful and nerve-wrecked, you have to stand up and do something about these fears. Otherwise they will consume you through life, not letting you live the kind of quality life you want.

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    2. Create a length of time after which you will face them

    If it isn’t in your blood to strike while the iron is hot, you can choose another option. You can give yourself time to think and then seize the opportunity to face your fears. In it you can analyze the situation you are currently in and observe how others react to fears, while jotting down notes. You will gain much needed self-assurance, resilience, confidence, while taking care of the aspects that I have wrote down previously. You will never be able to fail if you follow through them. However, if you do, know there is always a second chance. Never ever forget it. It will take you a very long way in life as life’s ups and downs are boggling, but they don’t get to us if we don’t let them. Have confidence and stay strong.

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      3. Know that you are not the only one

      Knowing that you are not the only one with fear makes you realize that you are just like everybody else. There is nothing shameful in having fears or phobias- they are emotions like sadness, happiness, anger and joy. Fear happens to arrive when we feel threatened by a situation, person, or feeling itself. Know that other people have fears also; they are just as much human as you are. Make yourself feel better about the fact and never put yourself down for it. You are human and prone to feelings. Why be mad, frustrated, or angry at feeling a certain way? That friends doesn’t make sense and you shouldn’t feel this way. You have full right to feel something just as much as anybody else.

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        4. Give yourself a pep talk when needed

        If you feel as if these fears and phobias are holding you back, then a pep talk is needed. Reaffirm the belief that you are an individual with fears. You don’t need to be ashamed but you just need to talk it through with yourself. Sometimes we just forget that we have restrictions and we are not perfect. Let go of this fear because it is pointless and surely will not get you anywhere. You are fine just the way you are. All that needs to be done is that you need to take one step in the direction to eliminate this fear and phobia. You have the power in you. You can do it. And you will. I know it.

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          Ramanpreet Kaur

          Currently a student but don't know what direction to go in: Let us see if writing gets me anywhere :)

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          Last Updated on January 3, 2020

          The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

          The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

          Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

          The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

          1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

          Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

           I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

          To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

          And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

           2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

          Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

          3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

          Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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          4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

          The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

          5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

          Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

          6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

          Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

          7. Positive people smile a lot!

          When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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          8. People who are positive are great communicators.

          They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

          9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

          One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

          10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

          Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

          How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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          I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

          Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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