Confidence is belief. It is the ability to rely on something or someone. Self-confidence is your ability to rely on yourself – to rest in the assurance that when it comes right down to it, win or lose, you can count on you. You just need to be more confident than the other person.
If you lack self-confidence, it may feel like a lost cause. But confidence is not an intrinsic quality. Confidence can be learned. Read on to see how.
30 confidence-building habits you can incorporate into your daily life to allow you to become more confident:
- Be clear. Unless you’re The Riddler, it’s time to put away babbling. Be clear. Be direct. Speak without ambiguity.
- Speak more slowly. People who talk fast often lack confidence in what they are saying and are usually saying too much.
- Make eye contact. In Western culture, the easiest way to truly connect with someone is to give them the respect of looking them in the eyes.
- Say hello. Make it a habit to offer a greeting when you pass people on the street, especially if your eyes meet for a moment as you walk by.
- Stand up straight. A study by Richard Petty, of Ohio State University, and Pablo Brinol, of the Universidad Automonma de Madrid, found people who sat up straight had more positive thoughts about their own abilities.
- Take up more space. Executive coach and author Olivia Fox Cabane talks about the importance of power poses in her book, The Charisma Myth. Power poses take up more space and make you feel more dominant.
- Walk in the center of the sidewalk. Conduct a social experiment where you test out your confidence. Focus on exuding dominance. Walk in the center of the sidewalk. Do not veer when another person heads in your direction. See if you can get that person to move off the sidewalk just by the way you carry yourself.
- Smile more. Smiling makes you feel good and it puts the people around you at ease.
- Giggle less. Laughing at inappropriate times is a sign of insecurity. Now that you are aware, you can slowly begin to break the habit.
- Do what you’re good at. Find your strengths and focus your attention on building your strengths, rather than hiding or building your weaknesses.
- Listen to compliments. When someone compliments you, graciously accept it. If you find multiple people compliment you on the same thing, internalize it. It may be true.
- Exercise. Regular exercise improves your self-confidence, self-awareness and overall health.
- Do something that scares you. It was Eleanor Roosevelt who said, “Every day do something that scares you.” The more fears you conquer, the fewer fears you will have, and the more confident you will become.
- Do the worst thing on the list first. As a matter of habit, prioritize every task by doing the most important things on your To Do list first.
- Start and finish something challenging. It’s difficult to start something new and it takes effort to see it through. Start and finish something that challenges you. Conquering challenges always boosts confidence.
- Create goals that are difficult to reach. We are happiest when we set and strive to attain goals that require some effort on our part. Goal-setting is a great confidence-building habit.
- Stop hiding. Be transparent. Show people who you really are and be proud.
- Display your hidden talents. Put on display the talents you have that may be judged most harshly or that make you feel insecure. Get it out in the open.
- Write things down. Organize your thoughts and time by writing down important information.
- Use “I am.” Quite possibly the two most powerful words in the English language, “I am” are your life-sculpting words and it takes courage to say out loud what is really in your heart.
- Speak well of yourself. If you say something often enough, you will begin to believe it. Your words are containers for power. The most important opinion in the world is the one you have of yourself.
- Get good at something. Master something you always wanted to learn. Get really good at it and do it often.
- Learn to tell one great joke really, really well. We can’t all be Jimmy Fallon, but we can all get good at telling one joke. Get the words, the voices and the timing down until it’s flawless. Then take the opportunity to entertain people with that joke once in a while.
- Become an active listener. We live in a culture where the ability to multi-task is a desirable trait, but you can’t listen and do something else. It’s one or the other. Learn to listen to people. Give them your full, undivided attention. It will make you a much better conversationalist.
- Dress well. Image is important. When you look good, you feel good, and with both of those you become more confident.
- Put away the measuring stick. Break the habit of comparing yourself to other people. It is counter-productive.
- Celebrate little victories. Resist the temptation to say, “It was nothing.” Every victory counts. Every single one. Celebrate them.
- Believe in yourself. Make it a point that whenever you begin to doubt your ability, you stop the “stinkin’ thinkin’” and replace doubt with belief.
- Mind your own business. Focus on self-development and doing your best. That’s all you can do and it’s all anyone can require of you.
- Help out. There’s nothing like helping someone reach their goals. The late Jim Rohn used to say, “You can get what you want if you help enough other people get what they want.”
If you follow these 30 tips you will—yes you will!—become more confident!
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