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How Your Relationship Influences Your Career

How Your Relationship Influences Your Career

It’s natural to want a romantic partner who shares your ambitions, goals, and dreams—your relationship influences your career in major ways. If your partner believes in your goals and pushes you to accomplish everything in your professional life, you are actually more likely to succeed in your career. Not only because your partner will push you to get out of your comfort zone (in other words, tell you to get a raise), but also because you will receive constant praise and admiration from your partner, which will motivate you even more. With the right support, you can advance in your career smoothly and reach your goal more quickly. Research from Washington University in St. Louis even found that “a spouse’s personality influences many daily factors that sum up and accumulate across time to afford one the many actions necessary to receive a promotion or a raise.” Meaning that if you and your partner are on the same wavelength when it comes to professional paths, you will both succeed.

Since your partner’s personality can have an imprint on your personality and your career, discussing each other’s priorities is always a necessity. There is a lot that you may know up front about them but there will always be some hidden truths that can only be found with careful questions.

Some good questions to ask your prospective partner:

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What are your long-term professional goals?

Understanding your prospect’s long-term goals will shine a light on where they want to be in their career. You’ll know whether or not they have the same professional goals as you, and whether they put a lot of importance on career advancement itself, money, or something other than their career.

What are your short-term professional goals?

Short-term goals will tell you how motivated your prospect is about their career. If they don’t have any short-term goals for their professional life, they might be in a stage of life where they’d rather focus on something else, like family. It’s very different from the long-term professional goals question because it covers the changes your prospect wants to make in the near future, rather than the dreams for 10-15 years down the line.

What’s your one, five, and ten-year plan?

If your prospect makes a yearly plan for their life, they’re organized. Period. They know what they want from life and they are working on accomplishing it. Some people might answer the question with a simple, “I don’t know.” This either means that they are confused about their life or haven’t really thought about the future so far. Either way, you can decide on whether you want to be with an individual who takes each day as it is, without planning it, or if you want to move on to the next one. Remember, your partner’s lifestyle and personality will rub off on you.

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How do you plan to accomplish these professional goals?

It’s all great if they have a plan set out for the next few years, but do they have a plan of attack? Are they going to do something to accomplish their goals? If not, they’re just dreams written on a piece of paper. Chances are that you’ll have to push him/her to make those dreams a reality. Are you ready to invest that much time and energy?

This is what I want to do, what are your thoughts?

This question will tell you a lot about their personality. Are they jealous? Envious? Pessimistic? Opportunistic? Are they going to get excited about the idea and in turn make you even more excited? Depending on the answer your prospect gives you, you’ll have an idea of how they will be in a relationship—whether they’ll push you toward your dreams or pull you back by being negative or “realistic.”

What have you accomplished in the last five years? Is it what you wanted to accomplish?

Five years is a lot of time for someone to change their life around. Heck, people change their life around in a matter of months sometimes, so imagine what they can do in five years! This is a great question to follow-up on the yearly plan question, since it will tell you whether or not they work on making their goals a reality. If they’ve accomplished what they wanted to accomplished in the last five years, chances are that they’ll do the same thing for the next five years. Being in a relationship with someone who’s motivated and determined to make their dreams a reality will most definitely have a good impact on your life and career.

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What’s your morning routine like?

Someone’s morning routine says a lot about the type of person they are, since mornings determine how someone’s day will go about. If you get into a fight in the morning, your whole day will be ruined, but if you get into a fight in the evening, you get over it more quickly because you have less time to think about it. On the same note, if someone is very productive in the morning, it means that the person has a purpose and will work hard in accomplishing his/her goals as fast as possible.

Have you been in a long-term relationship with someone who was high in the corporate ladder? Why didn’t it work out?

Better to have a few glasses of wine before asking this question, since you want the real reason it didn’t work out. You want to find a way to get the truth out of him/her. By getting to the truth, you’ll know whether your prospect can handle a person who has ambitions and who has to deal with a lot of responsibilities at work. You’ll know whether he/she is the type of person to be envious or the type who will push you towards accomplishing your goals. Of course, I was kidding about the glasses of wine… or was I?

These questions will shine a light on the type of person you’re dealing with, and if they will influence your career positively or negatively. Not only will you get to know the person’s personality and ambitions on a deeper level, but you’ll also see if their personality and ambitions match yours.

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Sarah Anton

Editor and founder of The Fitrepreneur, aspires to improve people's living style.

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Last Updated on October 13, 2020

How to Get Promoted When You Feel Stuck in Your Current Position

How to Get Promoted When You Feel Stuck in Your Current Position

Have you been stuck in the same position for too long and don’t really know how to get promoted and advance your career?

Feeling stuck could be caused by a variety of things:

  • Taking a job for the money
  • Staying with an employer that no longer aligns with your values
  • Realizing that you landed yourself in the wrong career
  • Not feeling valued or feeling underutilized
  • Taking a position without a full understanding of the role

There are many other reasons why you may be feeling this way, but let’s focus instead on learning what to do now in order to get unstuck and get promoted

One of the best ways to get promoted is by showing how you add value to your organization. Did you make money, save money, improve a process, or do some other amazing thing? How else might you demonstrate added value?

Let’s dive right in to how to get promoted when you feel stuck in your current position.

1. Be a Mentor

When I supervised students, I used to warm them — tongue in cheek, of course — about getting really good at their job.

“Be careful not to get too good at this, or you’ll never get to do anything else.”

This was my way of pestering them to take on additional challenges or think outside the box, but there is definitely some truth in doing something so well that your manager doesn’t trust anyone else to do it.

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This can get you stuck.

Jo Miller of Be Leaderly shares this insight on when your boss thinks you’re too valuable in your current job:

“Think back to a time when you really enjoyed your current role…You became known for doing your job so well that you built up some strong ‘personal brand’ equity, and people know you as the go-to-person for this particular job. That’s what we call ‘a good problem to have’: you did a really good job of building a positive perception about your suitability for the role, but you may have done ‘too’ good of a job!”[1]

With this in mind, how do you prove to your employer that you can add value by being promoted?

From Miller’s insight, she talks about building your personal brand and becoming known for doing a particular job well. So how can you link that work with a position or project that will earn you a promotion?

Consider leveraging your strengths and skills.

Let’s say that the project you do so well is hiring and training new entry-level employees. You have to post the job listing, read and review resumes, schedule interviews, make hiring decisions, and create the training schedules. These tasks require skills such as employee relations, onboarding, human resources software, performance management, teamwork, collaboration, customer service, and project management. That’s a serious amount of skills!

Are there any team members who can perform these skills? Try delegating and training some of your staff or colleagues to learn your job. There are a number of reasons why this is a good idea:

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  1. Cross-training helps in any situation in the event that there’s an extended illness and the main performer of a certain task is out for a while.
  2. As a mentor to a supervisee or colleague, you empower them to increase their job skills.
  3. You are already beginning to demonstrate that added value to your employer by encouraging your team or peers to learn your job and creating team players.

Now that you’ve trained others to do that work for which you have been so valued, you can see about re-requesting that promotion. Explain how you have saved the company money, encouraged employees to increase their skills, or reinvented that project of yours.

2. Work on Your Mindset

Another reason you may feel stuck in a position is explained through this quote:

“If you feel stuck at a job you used to love, it’s normally you—not the job—who needs to change. The position you got hired for is probably the exact same one you have now. But if you start to dread the work routine, you’re going to focus on the negatives.”[2]

In this situation, you should pursue a conversation with your supervisor and share your thoughts and feelings to help you learn how to get promoted. You can probably get some advice on how to rediscover the aspects of that job you enjoyed, and negotiate either some additional duties or a chance to move up.

Don’t express frustration. Express a desire for more.

Present your case and show your boss or supervisor that you want to be challenged, and you want to move up. You want more responsibility in order to continue moving the company forward. Focus on how you can do that with the skills you have and the positive mindset you’ve cultivated.

3. Improve Your Soft Skills

When was the last time you put focus and effort into upping your game with those soft skills? I’m talking about those seemingly intangible things that make you the experienced professional in your specific job skills[3].

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Use soft skills when learning how to get promoted.

    According to research, improving soft skills can boost productivity and retention 12 percent and deliver a 250 percent return on investment based on higher productivity and retention[4]. Those are only some of the benefits for both you and your employer when you want to learn how to get promoted.

    You can hone these skills and increase your chances of promotion into a leadership role by taking courses or seminars.

    Furthermore, you don’t necessarily need to request funding from your supervisor. There are dozens of online courses being presented by entrepreneurs and authors about these very subjects. Udemy and Creative Live both feature online courses at very reasonable prices. And some come with completion certificates for your portfolio!

    Another way to improve your soft skills is by connecting with an employee at your organization who has a position similar to the one you want.

    Express your desire to move up in the organization, and ask to shadow that person or see if you can sit in on some of their meetings. Offer to take that individual out for coffee and ask what their secret is! Take copious notes, and then immerse yourself in the learning.

    The key here is not to copy your new mentor. Rather, you want to observe, learn, and then adapt according to your strengths.

    4. Develop Your Strategy

    Do you even know specifically why you want to learn how to get promoted? Do you see a future at this company? Do you have a one-year, five-year, or ten-year plan for your career path? How often do you consider your “why” and insure that it aligns with your “what”?

    Sit down and make an old-fashioned pro and con list.

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    Write down every positive aspect of your current job and then every negative one. Which list is longer? Are there any themes present?

    Look at your lists and choose the most exciting pros and the most frustrating cons. Do those two pros make the cons worth it? If you can’t answer that question with a “yes,” then getting promoted at your current organization may not be what you really want[5].

    The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. —Mark Twain

    Here are some questions to ask yourself:

    • Why do you do what you do?
    • What thrills you about your current job role or career?
    • What does a great day look like?
    • What does success look and feel like beyond the paycheck?
    • How do you want to feel about your impact on the world when you retire?

    Define success to get promoted

      These questions would be great to reflect on in a journal or with your supervisor in your next one-on-one meeting. Or, bring it up with one of your work friends over coffee.

      Final Thoughts

      After considering all of these points and doing your best to learn how to get promoted, what you might find is that being stuck is your choice. Then, you can set yourself on the path of moving up where you are, or moving on to something different.

      Because sometimes the real promotion is finding your life’s purpose.

      More Tips on How to Get Promoted

      Featured photo credit: Razvan Chisu via unsplash.com

      Reference

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