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How Your Relationship Influences Your Career

How Your Relationship Influences Your Career

It’s natural to want a romantic partner who shares your ambitions, goals, and dreams—your relationship influences your career in major ways. If your partner believes in your goals and pushes you to accomplish everything in your professional life, you are actually more likely to succeed in your career. Not only because your partner will push you to get out of your comfort zone (in other words, tell you to get a raise), but also because you will receive constant praise and admiration from your partner, which will motivate you even more. With the right support, you can advance in your career smoothly and reach your goal more quickly. Research from Washington University in St. Louis even found that “a spouse’s personality influences many daily factors that sum up and accumulate across time to afford one the many actions necessary to receive a promotion or a raise.” Meaning that if you and your partner are on the same wavelength when it comes to professional paths, you will both succeed.

Since your partner’s personality can have an imprint on your personality and your career, discussing each other’s priorities is always a necessity. There is a lot that you may know up front about them but there will always be some hidden truths that can only be found with careful questions.

Some good questions to ask your prospective partner:

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What are your long-term professional goals?

Understanding your prospect’s long-term goals will shine a light on where they want to be in their career. You’ll know whether or not they have the same professional goals as you, and whether they put a lot of importance on career advancement itself, money, or something other than their career.

What are your short-term professional goals?

Short-term goals will tell you how motivated your prospect is about their career. If they don’t have any short-term goals for their professional life, they might be in a stage of life where they’d rather focus on something else, like family. It’s very different from the long-term professional goals question because it covers the changes your prospect wants to make in the near future, rather than the dreams for 10-15 years down the line.

What’s your one, five, and ten-year plan?

If your prospect makes a yearly plan for their life, they’re organized. Period. They know what they want from life and they are working on accomplishing it. Some people might answer the question with a simple, “I don’t know.” This either means that they are confused about their life or haven’t really thought about the future so far. Either way, you can decide on whether you want to be with an individual who takes each day as it is, without planning it, or if you want to move on to the next one. Remember, your partner’s lifestyle and personality will rub off on you.

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How do you plan to accomplish these professional goals?

It’s all great if they have a plan set out for the next few years, but do they have a plan of attack? Are they going to do something to accomplish their goals? If not, they’re just dreams written on a piece of paper. Chances are that you’ll have to push him/her to make those dreams a reality. Are you ready to invest that much time and energy?

This is what I want to do, what are your thoughts?

This question will tell you a lot about their personality. Are they jealous? Envious? Pessimistic? Opportunistic? Are they going to get excited about the idea and in turn make you even more excited? Depending on the answer your prospect gives you, you’ll have an idea of how they will be in a relationship—whether they’ll push you toward your dreams or pull you back by being negative or “realistic.”

What have you accomplished in the last five years? Is it what you wanted to accomplish?

Five years is a lot of time for someone to change their life around. Heck, people change their life around in a matter of months sometimes, so imagine what they can do in five years! This is a great question to follow-up on the yearly plan question, since it will tell you whether or not they work on making their goals a reality. If they’ve accomplished what they wanted to accomplished in the last five years, chances are that they’ll do the same thing for the next five years. Being in a relationship with someone who’s motivated and determined to make their dreams a reality will most definitely have a good impact on your life and career.

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What’s your morning routine like?

Someone’s morning routine says a lot about the type of person they are, since mornings determine how someone’s day will go about. If you get into a fight in the morning, your whole day will be ruined, but if you get into a fight in the evening, you get over it more quickly because you have less time to think about it. On the same note, if someone is very productive in the morning, it means that the person has a purpose and will work hard in accomplishing his/her goals as fast as possible.

Have you been in a long-term relationship with someone who was high in the corporate ladder? Why didn’t it work out?

Better to have a few glasses of wine before asking this question, since you want the real reason it didn’t work out. You want to find a way to get the truth out of him/her. By getting to the truth, you’ll know whether your prospect can handle a person who has ambitions and who has to deal with a lot of responsibilities at work. You’ll know whether he/she is the type of person to be envious or the type who will push you towards accomplishing your goals. Of course, I was kidding about the glasses of wine… or was I?

These questions will shine a light on the type of person you’re dealing with, and if they will influence your career positively or negatively. Not only will you get to know the person’s personality and ambitions on a deeper level, but you’ll also see if their personality and ambitions match yours.

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Sarah Anton

Editor and founder of The Fitrepreneur, aspires to improve people's living style.

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Last Updated on March 29, 2021

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

When I left university I took a job immediately, I had been lucky as I had spent a year earning almost nothing as an intern so I was offered a role. On my first day I found that I had not been allocated a desk, there was no one to greet me so I was left for some hours ignored. I happened to snipe about this to another employee at the coffee machine two things happened. The first was that the person I had complained to was my new manager’s wife, and the second was, in his own words, ‘that he would come down on me like a ton of bricks if I crossed him…’

What a great start to a job! I had moved to a new city, and had been at work for less than a morning when I had my first run in with the first style of bad manager. I didn’t stay long enough to find out what Mr Agressive would do next. Bad managers are a major issue. Research from Approved Index shows that more than four in ten employees (42%) state that they have previously quit a job because of a bad manager.

The Dream Type Of Manager

My best manager was a total opposite. A man who had been the head of the UK tax system and was working his retirement running a company I was a very junior and green employee for. I made a stupid mistake, one which cost a lot of time and money and I felt I was going to be sacked without doubt.

I was nervous, beating myself up about what I had done, what would happen. At the end of the day I was called to his office, he had made me wait and I had spent that day talking to other employees, trying to understand where I had gone wrong. It had been a simple mistyped line of code which sent a massive print job out totally wrong. I learn how I should have done it and I fretted.

My boss asked me to step into his office, he asked me to sit down. “Do you know what you did?” I babbled, yes, I had been stupid, I had not double-checked or asked for advice when I was doing something I had not really understood. It was totally my fault. He paused. “Will you do that again?” Of course I told him I would not, I would always double check, ask for help and not try to be so clever when I was not!

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“Okay…”

That was it. I paused and asked, should I clear my desk. He smiled. “You have learnt a valuable lesson, I can be sure that you will never make a mistake like that again. Why would I want to get rid of an employee who knows that?”

I stayed with that company for many years, the way I was treated was a real object lesson in good management. Sadly, far too many poor managers exist out there.

The Complete Catalogue of Bad Managers

The Bully

My first boss fitted into the classic bully class. This is so often the ‘old school’ management by power style. I encountered this style again in the retail sector where one manager felt the only way to get the best from staff was to bawl and yell.

However, like so many bullies you will often find that this can be someone who either knows no better or is under stress and they are themselves running scared of the situation they have found themselves in.

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The Invisible Boss

This can either present itself as management from afar (usually the golf course or ‘important meetings) or just a boss who is too busy being important to deal with their staff.

It can feel refreshing as you will often have almost total freedom with your manager taking little or no interest in your activities, however you will soon find that you also lack the support that a good manager will provide. Without direction you may feel you are doing well just to find that you are not delivering against expectations you were not told about and suddenly it is all your fault.

The Micro Manager

The frustration of having a manager who feels the need to be involved in everything you do. The polar opposite to the Invisible Boss you will feel that there is no trust in your work as they will want to meddle in everything you do.

Dealing with the micro-manager can be difficult. Often their management style comes from their own insecurity. You can try confronting them, tell them that you can do your job however in many cases this will not succeed and can in fact make things worse.

The Over Promoted Boss

The Over promoted boss categorises someone who has no idea. They have found themselves in a management position through service, family or some corporate mystery. They are people who are not only highly unqualified to be managers they will generally be unable to do even your job.

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You can find yourself persistently frustrated by the situation you are in, however it can seem impossible to get out without handing over your resignation.

The Credit Stealer

The credit stealer is the boss who will never publically acknowledge the work you do. You will put in the extra hours working on a project and you know that, in the ‘big meeting’ it will be your credit stealing boss who will take all of the credit!

Again it is demoralising, you see all of the credit for your labour being stolen and this can often lead to good employees looking for new careers.

3 Essential Ways to Work (Cope) with Bad Managers

Whatever type of bad boss you have there are certain things that you can do to ensure that you get the recognition and protection you require to not only remain sane but to also build your career.

1. Keep evidence

Whether it is incidents with the bully or examples of projects you have completed with the credit stealer you will always be well served to keep notes and supporting evidence for projects you are working on.

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Buy your own notebook and ensure that you are always making notes, it becomes a habit and a very useful one as you have a constant reminder as well as somewhere to explore ideas.

Importantly, if you do have to go to HR or stand-up for yourself you will have clear records! Also, don’t always trust that corporate servers or emails will always be available or not tampered with. Keep your own content.

2. Hold regular meetings

Ensure that you make time for regular meetings with your boss. This is especially useful for the over-promoted or the invisible boss to allow you to ‘manage upwards’. Take charge where you can to set your objectives and use these meetings to set clear objectives and document the status of your work.

3. Stand your ground, but be ready to jump…

Remember that you don’t have to put up with poor management. If you have issues you should face them with your boss, maybe they do not know that they are coming across in a bad way.

However, be ready to recognise if the situation is not going to change. If that is the case, keep your head down and get working on polishing your CV! If it isn’t working, there will be something better out there for you!

Good luck!

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