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Follow These 11 Online Dating Rules to Find the Perfect Job

Follow These 11 Online Dating Rules to Find the Perfect Job

For anyone who has ever both applied for a job and online dated, you have probably noticed that the two can feel a lot alike. For instance, you want to impress and find long-lasting ‘love,’ many decisions are based on first impressions, and your emails sometimes go into a black hole and you are left wondering what happened.

Many daters have found love online through following simple guidelines, and you can use those same guidelines to find the perfect job, too!

Here are 11 rules from online dating that will make for terrific job hunting:

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1. Know what you are looking for

It’s easy to lose sight of who you are and what you want in a partner or job when you are bombarded with so many options online. You find yourself thinking, “I could make that work,” and then run the risk of ending up in something that is okay, but may not be what you really want. Before you ‘set foot’ online, know what you are looking for. What is your dream? Write it down, and keep it handy so you can remind yourself.

2. Speak to the person reading, not to yourself

An online profile or job application is about you reaching through the screen and engaging with the person who is reading it. Who are they, what do they care about, how can you ‘take care’ of them? You are building a relationship with that person, but you might forget that because you can’t see them. But it really is just like meeting someone at a party: you (hopefully) wouldn’t start the conversation by bragging about yourself and astounding yourself with just how awesomely well-traveled you are. You would build a conversation. The same is true of online job applications or dating profiles.

3. Understand your own brilliance—and let it shine

Dating or job searching with low self-esteem is like hunting with a broken arrow: you can get yourself in front of the ‘right’ target, but you won’t be able to hit it. If you are going to convince someone to hire or date you, you have to be convinced that you are a catch. I don’t mean that you should brag about yourself, but know your own worth and approach your conversations from the position of ‘I have a lot to contribute.’

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4. Get a little personal

Let’s face it, us online daters are sick of reading the standard, “I like to travel, cook, and listen to good music.” The same is true of hiring agents. They want to get to know the person behind the resume, to see if they will be a fit for the culture (not just the job requirements) of the organization. Make sure that your authentic voice comes through in your job application, with your own unique pizazz.

5. Make sure your reality matches your pitch

It’s hard to convince someone that you ‘love urban events’ when you live on a farm in the middle of nowhere in North Dakota. The same is true of your resume and job pitch. Make sure that your resume tells a story of who you are that matches up with the pitch. If you are pitching yourself as a thought leader, your resume should regale the reader with your past brilliant ideas, not the times when you were a great workhorse (although you may choose to incorporate those into your pitch, too).

6. Share only the most valuable parts of you

If you are anything like me, you read the first paragraph of a profile, and if it doesn’t grab you, you move on. I can’t tell you how many online dating profiles start with a paragraph saying, “I didn’t really want to do online dating, but my buddies convinced me to give it a try, so here I am.” This a waste of prime real estate! Focus on what is most important to say and convey about yourself, and save the rest for a rainy Saturday.

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7. Ask a friend, mentor, or coach to read it over

I can’t remember how many times I wrote something that I thought was genius, only to have a friend point out that it sent the wrong message about me, or didn’t do me justice. Once, I wrote a profile that emphasized how much I liked to explore the world around me and try new things, and my friend observed that it made me sound like someone who wanted an open relationship and didn’t want to settle down, which was the opposite of the truth! Have a second pair of eyes look at your application from a fresh perspective, and you will be amazed how much you overlooked.

8. Remember that deception doesn’t win people over

Yes, we have all been on that date where the person looks 10 years older than their profile picture. Not only does this feel like a letdown, but it also erodes your trust in them and makes you wonder what else they are hiding. Another family in Georgia you don’t know about, perhaps? The same is true of how you present yourself in a job application. While it may be tempting to embellish yourself, the benefits aren’t worth the price. Be proud and confident of who you are, and know that the right ‘one’ will love you for who you are.

9. Know your deal breakers

You’ve learned from past experience what does and does not work for you. For example, I know that my partner can’t smoke and must want kids, and my job must be a meritocracy that values innovation. It can be tempting to compromise on these when a ‘hot’ date or job comes along, but this will ultimately lead to dissatisfaction. So make sure you know where you absolutely draw the line.

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10. Spend ‘sacred’ time each day on the hunt

Dating or finding a job is a process. Make a commitment to yourself that you will spend at least 30 minutes (or more) each day searching, writing, meeting, exploring. Make it your goal to become a master searcher, which you do by practice, practice, practice. And remember…

11. Have fun

Sure, finding a job or the love of your life is serious business. But it should also be fun. No one likes drudgery, and if you feel like online dating or job searching is drudgery, that will come across in how you talk, write, and act. So have fun with it! The people on the other end will enjoy working with you, and you will be more likely to have a successful outcome.

Which ones of these eleven points would make all of the difference in your job hunt? Which ones are you going to implement today? Write a note in the comments to share.

Featured photo credit: Businessmen Shaking Hands/ReynerMedia via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 13, 2020

Is It Time for a Career Change? (And How to Make the Change)

Is It Time for a Career Change? (And How to Make the Change)

Are you challenged at work? Do you regret career decisions? Are you happy? If the answer to the questions leads to a negative feeling, it is time to determine next steps.

Many people settle for a career that no longer brings satisfaction. Most will respond by stating, “I am surviving” if a colleague asks them “How’s work?”

Settling for a job to pay bills and maintain a lifestyle is stagnation. You can re-direct the journey of a career with confidence by taking control of future decisions. After all, you deserve to be live a happy life that will offer a work-life balance.

Let’s look at the reasons why you need a career change and how to choose a career for a more fulfilling life.

How to Know if You Need a Career Change?

The challenges of dissatisfaction in a career can have a negative impact on our mental health. As a result, our mental health can lead to the obvious appearance of stress, aging, weight gain and internal health issues.

You deserve a career that will fulfill the inner desire of true happiness. Here are common factors that it is time for you to change your career.

Physical Signs

Are you aging since you started your job? Do you have anxiety? What about work-related injuries?

It feels amazing to receive a pay cheque, but you deserve to work in an environment that brings out the best of you. If the work environment is hazardous, speak to your boss about alternative options.

In the case that colleagues or your boss take advantage of your kindness, feeling the anxiety of fear of losing your job because of a high-stress environment may not be right for you.

Mental Signs

One out of five Americans has mental health issues, according to Mental Health America.[1] In most cases, it is related to stress.

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I remember working at a job in a work environment where harassment was acceptable. I had to walk on eggshells to avoid crossing the line with colleagues. My friends started to notice the difference in that I seemed out of character. It was then that I knew that changing a career to freelancing was the right decision.

Here is a list of mental signs of workplace unhappiness:

  • The tension in your neck
  • Difficulties with sleeping
  • Unable to concentrate
  • High anxiety
  • Depression

If you start to feel your self-esteem is diminishing, it is time to consider if working in a high-stress industry is for you. The truth is, this negative energy will be transferred to people in your life like friends and family.

Are You Sure You’re Not Changing for the Wrong Reason?

Most people that feel they need a career are frustrated with their situation at work. Do you really understand your current situation at work?

The reason it is important to think about the work situation is some people decide to change career for factors that are insignificant. Factors that can potentially change if the person works in a different department or new organization.

Here is a list of unimportant factors to think about before you decide to make the transition:

Desire for an Increase of Salary

The desire for a higher income can persuade some to believe they are in the wrong career. The issue with this is more money requires more time in the office or taking on several positions at a time.

At times, pursuing a high-income role can be the complete opposite of what one is expected. It is what happens when a colleague leaves a company to a new one and returns several years later.

Overnight Decision

Let’s face it. We make overnight decisions when stressed out or disappointed with situations at work. The problem with a quick decision is the negative and positive points is overlooked.

Rejected for a Promotion

I have heard stories of managers that applied ten times for a position throughout a 5-year period. Yes, it sounds to be a lengthy process, but at times, a promotion requires time. Avoid changing a career if you do not see the results of a promotion currently.

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Bored at Work

Think deeply about this point. If you work a job that is repetitive, it is normal to feel bored. You can spice it up by changing the appearance of your desk, socializing with new employees in a different department, joining a leadership committee at work or coming to work with enthusiasm. Sometimes, all it takes is you to change jobs into a fun situation.

A career change can take time, networking, education and the job search process can be a journey. Here is a list of things to consider before making a final decision:

  • How long have you worked in your career?
  • What is the problem at work? Do you work well with the team?
  • Do you receive recognition?
  • Can you consider working in a new department?

If after reviewing your work situation and none of the above recommendations can help, then it’s time to make a career change.

How a Career Change Will Change Your Life

I have a friend that works in the medical industry. She was once a nurse working directly with patients in one of the top hospitals in her area. After five years, she started to internalize the issues with her patients to the point where she felt depressed after work hours. It impacted her relationship with her family and she almost lost herself.

One day, she decided to wake up and take control of her destiny. She started applying for new medical jobs in the office. It meant working on medical documentation of patients which is not an ideal career based on what society expects a medical professional to perform. But she started to feel happier.

It is a classic example of a person that was negatively impacted by issues at work, stayed in the same industry but changed careers.

A career change can fulfill a lifelong dream, increase one’s self-esteem or revive the excitement for one’s work.

You know a career change can be the right decision to make if you experience one or all of these:

  • Working in a negative workplace: Don’t be discouraged. A negative workplace can be changed by working at a new organization.
  • Working with a difficult boss: The challenges of working with a difficult boss can be stressful. All it takes is communication. You can address the issue directly with a manager professionally and respectfully.
  • Feeling lost about what you do: Most people stay at their jobs and settle for mediocrity because of the fear of failure or the unknown. The rise to success often comes with working a tedious role or stepping outside of one’s comfort zone. If you fear the idea of being involved in activities that are new, remember that life is short. Mediocrity will only continue to make you feel as if life is passing you by.

How to Make a Career Change Successfully

The ultimate key to success is to go through a career transition step by step to avoid making the wrong decision.

1. Write a Career Plan

A career plan has a dead line for action steps that includes taking new courses, learning a new language, networking or improving issues at work.[2] A career plan should be kept in your wallet because it will motivate you to keep pursuing the role.

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You can learn how to set your career plan here.

2. Weigh Your Options

If you have a degree in Accounting, write down five positions in this industry of interest. The good news is diplomas and degrees can be used to a variety of roles to choose.

You don’t have to stick to what society holds a top job. In the end, choosing the right role that will make you happy is priceless.

3. Be Real About the Pros and Cons

It is time to be honest about strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats in the job market that are impacting the current situation.

A SWOT Analysis of a career can include:[3]

  • Economic factors
  • Direct competition: Is this role in high demand?
  • Location: Do you need to move? If the goal is to work in tech and living in Cincinnati is not realistic, consider moving to San Francisco.
  • Achievements: To stand out from the competition achievements like awards, committee involvement, freelance work or volunteering is a recipe for success.
  • Education: Do you need to go back to school? Education can be expensive. However, online courses, webinars or self-study is an option.

    A career blueprint is the first step to creating realistic goals. A person without goals will be disappointed without a clear direction of what to do next.

    4. Find a Mentor or Career Coach

    A mentor or a career coach that works in the desired position can share the pros and cons of working in the role. Here is a list of questions to ask a mentor:

    • What is required to be successful in the role?
    • What certification or educational development is needed?
    • What are the challenges of the role?
    • Is there potential for career advancement?

    A chat at a coffee shop with a mentor can change your mind about the desire for a career change.

    Find out how to pick a good mentor for yourself in this article: How to Find a Mentor That Will Help You Succeed

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    5. Research Salary

    Some people decide to change careers for a role that pays less or perks like benefits to make up for the difference in previous to potential salary.

    It can reveal the cities throughout the country that offer a higher salary for those that have an interest in relocating for work.

    6. Be Realistic

    If your goal is to move up into an executive position, it is time to be honest about where you are in your career.

    For example, if boardroom meetings, high-level discussions about financials or attending weekly networking events are boring, an executive role may not be right for you. If you are an introvert and working with people every day is nerve wrecking, you need to reconsider a job in sales.

    Ask yourself if you can work in this role for the next five years of your life. If other benefits that come with the role are enticing, other roles are fit that will make you happy.

    7. Volunteer First

    A person that wants to become a manager should take on volunteer opportunities to experience the reality of the position.

    Becoming a committee member to pursue a presidential opportunity can provide a perspective on leadership, maintaining a budget and public speaking.

    Volunteer in a role until you are certain that it is the right opportunity.

    8. Prepare Your Career Tools

    I recommend asking a boss, colleague or mentor for career tools. If you prefer professional assistance, you can seek out resume writing assistance. Here is a list of things to consider when preparing career tools:

    • Online search: Search your name online to see what shows up. I recommend searching images that are on Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat or other sites on a personal account. The last thing you want to realize is the job search is unsuccessful because there is unprofessional content you posted online.
    • Be LinkedIn ready: Recruiters conduct a LinkedIn search to see if the work experience is the same on a resume. Remember to change the wording on LinkedIn from the resume, or it will appear there was no effort put into creating the profile.
    • Portfolio: A portfolio of work is recommended for people that work in the arts, writing, graphic design and other fields. I recommend a portfolio online and one that is available in hand when attending job interviews or networking meetups.
    • Cover letter: A good cover writer will always impress your potential employers. Here’s how to write a killer cover letter that stands out from others.

    Bottom Line

    It takes time to move towards a new career. Pay attention to the physical and mental signs to maintain your health. You deserve to work in happiness and come home stress-free. If you avoid the common mistakes people make, you will find a job and discover the role in a career field that is the best fit with your skillsets.

    Master these action steps and changing career paths will be on your terms to make the best decision for your future.

    More About Career Change

    Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

    Reference

    [1] Mental Health America: The State of Mental Health in America
    [2] MIT Global Education & Career Development: Make a Career Plan
    [3] Creately: Personal SWOT Analysis to Assess and Improve Yourself

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