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Follow These 11 Online Dating Rules to Find the Perfect Job

Follow These 11 Online Dating Rules to Find the Perfect Job

For anyone who has ever both applied for a job and online dated, you have probably noticed that the two can feel a lot alike. For instance, you want to impress and find long-lasting ‘love,’ many decisions are based on first impressions, and your emails sometimes go into a black hole and you are left wondering what happened.

Many daters have found love online through following simple guidelines, and you can use those same guidelines to find the perfect job, too!

Here are 11 rules from online dating that will make for terrific job hunting:

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1. Know what you are looking for

It’s easy to lose sight of who you are and what you want in a partner or job when you are bombarded with so many options online. You find yourself thinking, “I could make that work,” and then run the risk of ending up in something that is okay, but may not be what you really want. Before you ‘set foot’ online, know what you are looking for. What is your dream? Write it down, and keep it handy so you can remind yourself.

2. Speak to the person reading, not to yourself

An online profile or job application is about you reaching through the screen and engaging with the person who is reading it. Who are they, what do they care about, how can you ‘take care’ of them? You are building a relationship with that person, but you might forget that because you can’t see them. But it really is just like meeting someone at a party: you (hopefully) wouldn’t start the conversation by bragging about yourself and astounding yourself with just how awesomely well-traveled you are. You would build a conversation. The same is true of online job applications or dating profiles.

3. Understand your own brilliance—and let it shine

Dating or job searching with low self-esteem is like hunting with a broken arrow: you can get yourself in front of the ‘right’ target, but you won’t be able to hit it. If you are going to convince someone to hire or date you, you have to be convinced that you are a catch. I don’t mean that you should brag about yourself, but know your own worth and approach your conversations from the position of ‘I have a lot to contribute.’

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4. Get a little personal

Let’s face it, us online daters are sick of reading the standard, “I like to travel, cook, and listen to good music.” The same is true of hiring agents. They want to get to know the person behind the resume, to see if they will be a fit for the culture (not just the job requirements) of the organization. Make sure that your authentic voice comes through in your job application, with your own unique pizazz.

5. Make sure your reality matches your pitch

It’s hard to convince someone that you ‘love urban events’ when you live on a farm in the middle of nowhere in North Dakota. The same is true of your resume and job pitch. Make sure that your resume tells a story of who you are that matches up with the pitch. If you are pitching yourself as a thought leader, your resume should regale the reader with your past brilliant ideas, not the times when you were a great workhorse (although you may choose to incorporate those into your pitch, too).

6. Share only the most valuable parts of you

If you are anything like me, you read the first paragraph of a profile, and if it doesn’t grab you, you move on. I can’t tell you how many online dating profiles start with a paragraph saying, “I didn’t really want to do online dating, but my buddies convinced me to give it a try, so here I am.” This a waste of prime real estate! Focus on what is most important to say and convey about yourself, and save the rest for a rainy Saturday.

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7. Ask a friend, mentor, or coach to read it over

I can’t remember how many times I wrote something that I thought was genius, only to have a friend point out that it sent the wrong message about me, or didn’t do me justice. Once, I wrote a profile that emphasized how much I liked to explore the world around me and try new things, and my friend observed that it made me sound like someone who wanted an open relationship and didn’t want to settle down, which was the opposite of the truth! Have a second pair of eyes look at your application from a fresh perspective, and you will be amazed how much you overlooked.

8. Remember that deception doesn’t win people over

Yes, we have all been on that date where the person looks 10 years older than their profile picture. Not only does this feel like a letdown, but it also erodes your trust in them and makes you wonder what else they are hiding. Another family in Georgia you don’t know about, perhaps? The same is true of how you present yourself in a job application. While it may be tempting to embellish yourself, the benefits aren’t worth the price. Be proud and confident of who you are, and know that the right ‘one’ will love you for who you are.

9. Know your deal breakers

You’ve learned from past experience what does and does not work for you. For example, I know that my partner can’t smoke and must want kids, and my job must be a meritocracy that values innovation. It can be tempting to compromise on these when a ‘hot’ date or job comes along, but this will ultimately lead to dissatisfaction. So make sure you know where you absolutely draw the line.

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10. Spend ‘sacred’ time each day on the hunt

Dating or finding a job is a process. Make a commitment to yourself that you will spend at least 30 minutes (or more) each day searching, writing, meeting, exploring. Make it your goal to become a master searcher, which you do by practice, practice, practice. And remember…

11. Have fun

Sure, finding a job or the love of your life is serious business. But it should also be fun. No one likes drudgery, and if you feel like online dating or job searching is drudgery, that will come across in how you talk, write, and act. So have fun with it! The people on the other end will enjoy working with you, and you will be more likely to have a successful outcome.

Which ones of these eleven points would make all of the difference in your job hunt? Which ones are you going to implement today? Write a note in the comments to share.

Featured photo credit: Businessmen Shaking Hands/ReynerMedia via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 14, 2019

The Key to Finding Job Satisfaction and Having a Successful Career

The Key to Finding Job Satisfaction and Having a Successful Career

Regardless of whether you hold an entry-level administration role or regularly travel to the ends of the Earth as a hot-shot senior executive, you can still find yourself harboring an emptiness… a feeling that something is missing. A popular assumption that experiencing job satisfaction and a successful career should be underpinned by a well-rounded suite of tangible benefits, no longer holds true for many of us.

We’d never deny health care benefits, appropriate and fair remuneration, bonuses and travel perks in a job package. However, even if served to us on a silver platter, those features can only satiate us to a certain point.

You might wonder what governs entrepreneurs and start-up business owners to quit their lucrative jobs, essentially look the gift horse in the mouth and kiss such benefits goodbye! There can be an irresistible pull to mastermind a business with products and/or services that serve the greater good of community wider than that constituting their daily existence.

Even with research showing entrepreneurship to pose greater threats to their mental and physical health, this unique breed of individuals choose to go against the grain in chasing their dreams of being their own boss. Why? Why would anyone risk this type of career suicide?

Whether you’re an employee, have recently taken the leap to being a business owner or been in business for a while, the commonality is a congenital condition we all share as human beings; to feel a sense of purpose, value and contribution to our community. Despite it being harder to find this for ourselves in today’s world, these approaches will help you achieve ultimate satisfaction through the twists, turns and joyrides that are essential features of shaping a successful career.

1. Search for Opportunities That Feed Your Passion, Not Temporary Excitement

Even though well-intended, the ‘feel good now’ compass that career coaches and consultants often recommend you use to create career satisfaction can actually do you more harm than good. Excitement is transient. It doesn’t last. Passion is the compass you need.

Passion and excitement are two different things. The resounding career legacy that still draws you to turn up on the job regardless of the sunshine or storm that awaits you…that’s passion. It’s like a mental and/or emotional itch you can’t shrug off. Staying attuned to that calling will breed success for you sooner or later. Patience is key.

You’re also likely to have more than one key passion. Beware of getting caught in the notion you have to find your one true purpose. In fact, run immediately from any coach who tells you there is only one. There isn’t.

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Your passion is a journey that can take multiple forms so forget thinking there is the single dream job out there that will give you satisfaction in every way you can imagine. It simply doesn’t exist.

Consider embracing different roles and projects to help you fuel your passion or fuel your pursuits in finding it. Job satisfaction and your career success will be all the more sweeter from a wider range of enriching experiences.

2. Don’t Position Job and Career Satisfaction Assessments as Pivotal Guides to Your Success

Despite their popular use for vocational guidance, assessment tools such as Gallup’s Clifton Strengths and the Myers Briggs Type Indicator have come under fire[1] as being limited to the amount of true value and direction they can offer partakers.[2] These and many other guidance assessment tools (e.g. VIA Character Strengths , DISC ) are self-report questionnaires that don’t have normative population data against which to compare your results.

Simply remember these tools help you develop a stronger sense of what you identify as strengths and weaknesses within yourself, not in comparison with other people. They will still add insight around what sorts of career opportunities, tasks and projects are going to light your fire, what ones are going to extinguish it and what will prod and keep the coals steadily smoldering.

3. Be Clear on Your Personal Values, Ethics and Principles and Choose Relationships That Support You Honoring Them

Teamwork, collaboration, open communication and trust are commonplace for any flourishing work environment. However, whether or not your personal values can be honored in your work can make or break your job satisfaction.

How committed do you want to be to an organization that expects an average of 10 unpaid overtime hours every week under the guise of ‘reasonable overtime’? Are you willing to accept their construing this expectation as ‘strong commitment’ at the expense of your partner and children waiting at home for you? What are your boundaries concerning when you clock on to their time and when you clock off to yours?

Being very in tune with what your personal values, principles and ethics are will bid you well in the job satisfaction stakes. Spending time to reflect on experiences and working relationships you’ve had – the good, the bad and the ugly – will help you make well-informed searches and grounded decisions that will propel your career success.

Finding and nurturing relationships with associates and colleagues who share similar values doesn’t just make your day-to-day pursuits more enjoyable. You become fortunate to work with like-minded people who will support, understand and appreciate you like a second family.

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Being able to honor your personal values in your work means you will still be able to sleep at night when you have to tread where others fear to, and make extremely difficult decisions others would never ever dream of having to make as you forge success in your career.

4. Be Clear on Your Own Definition of What Having a Successful Career Means for You

It’s tempting to get caught up in the ideals and projections of success expressed by those we love, admire and respect. Underneath, we all want on some level to belong to a successful club of some sort.

With research reporting how much money we feel we need to be truly happy,[3] many of us try to subscribe to the notion that having the car of our dreams or taking a European holiday annually will not bring us happiness. The truth, however, for many of us is these tangible rewards are congratulatory reminders of our persistent efforts to chase our career pursuits.

If those are things you aspire to, don’t let anyone steal your desire and want to feel deserving of these things, that those are some parameters by which you define your career success.

Despite consistently being the top revenue earner for two years running, you may not wish to become the sales manager. You may not wish to step out into running your own business even though you consistently excel as an employee, delighting clients and repeatedly receiving glowing testimonials.

Your definition of career success might be enjoying the predictability of a regular workplace routine. You get to leave – without feeling guilty – at the same time each day, love the people you work with and get to spend a good, uninterrupted amount of work-stress free quality time with your family. That picture is also blissful job satisfaction and complete career success.

5. Identify the Sorts of Challenges and Problems You Want to Learn to Overcome

Standard advice you might receive from a career coach might be to look for opportunities where you get to capitalize on exercising your strengths and career-related activities you enjoy.

However, to become a success at anything involves improvement. To excel at anything often involves stepping outside boundaries and comfort zones where others wouldn’t. This means dedicating focus and attention to things you’re not so good at and things you don’t like.

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Here’s where working with a coach can be particularly helpful. Map out the experiences that were unsavory in your working history. Were there challenges you opted out of, projects you failed at or toxic relationships that blasted your sense of purpose and self-worth into oblivion? It’s within these experiences that you might just find the most valuable lessons and guiding lights for your trajectory to achieve greater job satisfaction.

If your natural leadership style is to be a collaborator, finding opportunities that require you to apply a more dictatorial style might be needed. Discussing a secondment or short-term project where you get to develop and test your skills can be a step further in earning contention to lead a larger project down the track.

With several of the company’s boldest personality types penciled to roll out the operation, you’ll not only develop skills that earn your right to throw your hat in the ring; those key players have an opportunity to see your competence. You can then work on building relationships with those stakeholders before you need to hit the ground running should you win the lead.

Greater job satisfaction comes with planning and choosing the lessons and opportunities you want to learn, not desperately flailing, floundering and hoping for the best.

6. Keep Reviewing Your Goal Posts and Be Amenable to Change

The word ‘career’ is indicative of a longer-term pathway of change, growth and development. The journey is dynamic.

You will accumulate new skills and let those you no longer need, become rusty. Your intrigue will be stimulated by new experiences, knowledge and people you meet. Your thinking will continue to expand, not shrink. As a result, your goalposts are likely to change.

A major part of enjoying a successful career is not just setting goals effectively, but regularly reviewing and readjusting them where necessary. However, moving the posts or the target still needs to take place by applying the same processes by which you originally created them. The strength of your emotional connection to those revised goals needs to be the same, if not stronger.

By asking yourself the following questions, you can assure your developmental and growth trajectory is still on course:

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  • Would working toward these goals still allow me to honor my personal values, principles and ethics at the same capacity if not greater?
  • Do the activities I need to undertake to meet these goals honor my highest priorities?
  • Does this feel right for me and those who are nearest and dearest to me?
  • Is this aligned with my passion?
  • Is chasing this goal a right step for me to take now or is this a detour or distraction which could delay my greater plan?

Each of your career goals should have different review periods. Whatever you do, stick to the review schedule you set. It will not only keep you focused but help you see your progress (or lack thereof) and allow you to timely re-chart your course before you get too far down the track. You don’t want to waste time haphazardly heading in the wrong direction.

7. Be Prepared to Let Go

It can be unfathomable to us as to why others risk leaping into the unknown when everything truly appears fine and dandy in the career realm. The company provided stability, recognition, financial success, interesting projects and the promise of a promotion…what was wrong? Why now jump sideways to run a café or train in another field altogether?

Nothing may have been wrong at all. It was all going right. It was just the end of a chapter. Perhaps the yearning for the next step is actually taking a different trajectory entirely. You may want to simply experience a different rhythm. Perhaps it’s time to pursue a different passion.

If you have leaped from employee-land to freelancing or have made the reverse-jump (or you know someone who has), you will have quickly grown a different appreciation for pros and cons each work lifestyle brings. Working for yourself can bring the greater realization of your creativity, whether or not it can be monetized to earn you a living.

When your customers are buying you or a product you designed and fashioned, there is a direct level of appreciation and gratitude that can elevate your confidence in the way you have never experienced as an employee, regardless of your rank.

Similarly, there are times where we need to recognize our business ventures were adventures, not long-term life-changing empires. There are times we need to recognize that time is what provides the clearest limitation of how long we persist for in such pursuits.

We have to recognize the absence of enough financial, mental, emotional and physical breadcrumbs that tells us we’re no longer meant to push in that direction. At least, not for the present time.

The Bottom Line

Above all, keep the momentum. As long as you remain committed to pursuing work opportunities that allow you to honor your highest priorities, the truth of who you are and what you stand for, achieving ultimate job satisfaction and a successful career will never be too far away.

More Resources to Help Advance Your Career

Featured photo credit: Csaba Balazs via unsplash.com

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