I teach Leadership Communications to MBAs and corporate leaders. I have had over 20,000 people participate in my courses over the last 12 years. At the beginning of my course, I often ask people to make a short list of their current challenges. “Work-life balance” comes up for more than half of the people.
Balance is an ideal. It doesn’t exist. When we are walking, we aren’t in balance. We fall to the left, we fall to the right. When we are running, we aren’t in balance. We fall to the left, we fall to the right. When we are cycling, we aren’t in balance… I think I’ve labored the point.
All natural forward progress by humans comes from imbalance.
3 Reasons Why Work-Life Balance is a Stupid Idea
It doesn’t exist – Humans have 2 legs, not 3. Triangles are naturally in balance, humans are not.
You wouldn’t want it if you actually got it – It is the journey that is meaningful, not the seat at the end. We are journey creatures, not “sitting-on-a-sofa-at-the-end” creatures.
It causes endless frustration. The search for balance is asking for frustration. It is strong foundations that allow for tall buildings to stay up, not balance.
Instead of seeking balance, work on your foundations and work on your wings.
Build Strong Foundations and Trust your Wings
There is an old story that tells of 3 men. The first, he built his house on the sand. When the storms came, he lost his house. The second, he build his house on the dirt. When the storms came, he lost his house. The third, he built his house on the rock. When the storms came, his house stood firm.
Success is built on strong foundations. Are you building your house on the rock? Jim Rohn often said “work harder on yourself than you do on your job.” You should be learning and training for the job you wish to have, not the job that you have now. If you don’t know anything deeply, learn something deeply. If you know one thing deeply, learn another skill.
Trust Your Wings
I remember my father taking me to the park to learn to ride a bicycle. I was 8 years old. I sat on the bike and he held the seat from behind. He said “I’m holding you up, you can pedal”. I started to pedal. He was walking and then running to stay with me. I said “don’t let go!”. He said “I am not holding you”. He had let me go. I was on my own. I made it another 10 meters and then fell off (on the soft grass). I was angry that he had let me go, he was so excited that I had cycled by myself. His joy won.
I’d have liked my father to keep his hand on the bike seat for longer. I would not have asked him to let go. He trusted me. Now, I need to learn to trust me. I am a preparation freak. I like to over-plan. It is a big challenge for me to put myself into a situation where I don’t feel that I am fully ready yet. However, life has taught me that it is only there, outside my comfort zone, that the magic happens.
This is not a call to throw yourself recklessly into dangerous situations. My granny would say “look before you leap”. She was right. Only a fool would jump between 2 cliffs that were 20 meters apart with a 200 meter drop. If there is a 1 meter gap, and the other side looks interesting – make the leap. My granny’s saying says “look before” but it implies that you should be taking the leap. Trust your wings, make the leaps.
Let’s Stop the Search for Balance
If we were supposed to be balanced, humans would have 3 legs. We don’t. We have 2. We are constantly falling, but constantly finding our wings to regain our balance, only to lose it again.
Now, if you don’t know where you are going, or are walking round in circles then maybe you do have a bigger problem… but that is not the aim of this post.
Forgot a name? Misplaced your keys? Taking longer to find the right words? Don’t panic. There’s plenty you can do to improve your memory.
You’re probably expecting us to reveal 7 little known and newly discovered herbs from the forests of the Amazon, the peaks of the Himalayas and the Arctic tundra. No such luck.
Despite Americans spending hundreds of millions of dollars a year on Ginkgo Biloba, Ashwagandha, Periwinkle, Bacopa, Vitamin B’s, Omega 3’s and memory boosting supplement cocktails, there is very little scientific evidence they actually work. 
Instead, we’re going to offer you 7 completely natural memory boosters, backed up by scientific research. It may take a little more effort than a magic memory pill, but the benefits will transcend your memory and improve your overall quality of life as well, making you more fit, energetic, happy and sharp.
The first process in remembering is creating a memory.
This is where our brain sends a signal, associated with a thought, event or piece of information our mind is processing, over our brains neural pathways, called synapses.
Think of our neural pathways like roads and information like trucks. The better the roads, the more trucks can be driven.
The second step in remembering is memory consolidation.
Consolidation is when the brain takes that thought, event or piece of information and actually stores it in the brain. So now we’re talking about taking delivery of the trucks and storing its contents in the warehouse.
Consolidation helps us store information and label it properly, so its organized and easy to retrieve when needed.
The last step is memory retrieval.
That’s the step whereby we try to retrieve the information stored in our brains. You know when you have the name of someone on the tip of your tongue.
You have the information; it’s been stored, but you just can’t find it. Our memory recall is typically better the stronger the memory is and the more often we’ve used it.
Memory decline is a normal part of aging. However, new scientific research is discovering many new ways for us to improve memory creation, consolidation and retrieval–no matter our age.
7 Natural Memory Boosters
So how to work on memory and boost your brain power? Here’re 7 brain boosters backed by science that you should try:
1. Aerobic Exercise
Aerobic activity is about as close as we get to a magic pill for our memories. Exercise helps your brain create new capillaries and brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) which creates new brain cells and connections. To put it in plain english, aerobic activity changes our brains and helps it grow.
Studies have shown that exercising increases the size of the hippocampus and improves memory. In fact, even if you start exercising as an older adult, you can reverse cognitive decline by 1 to 2 years and protects against further decreases in the size of the hippocampus, which is essential for memory. 
In another study, reviewed by Dr. Ian Robertson of the University of Dublin, they looked at a group of people of 60 years and older, who engaged in “active walking” for four months.
They compared them with another group of people who only stretched over the same period of time. After testing both groups before and after the 4 month period, the walkers improved their memory and attention considerably more than the stretching group.
So which exercises are best and how much do we have to exercise?
Turns out, it doesn’t really matter whether you run, swim, row or bike. What does matter is that you push yourself beyond your current abilities, keep doing more, keep getting better. Set yourself short term goals and keep pushing the goal posts.
You need your sleep. The deeper the better. Sleep helps improve your procedural memory (how to do things, like how do I navigate my iPhone) and declarative memory (facts, like what’s my password). 
Even short naps from 6 to 45 minutes have been shown to improve your memory. In one Harvard study, college students memorized pairs of unrelated words, memorized a maze and copied a complex form. All were tested on their work. Half were then allowed to take a 45 minute nap. They were then retested. Those who took a nap, got a boost in their performance. 
Another study showed that getting REM (deep) sleep can increase your memory and mental performance by 33% to 73%. Getting a deep sleep helps the brain consolidate memories through dreams and “associative processing”. However, the study also revealed that heart rate variability in deep sleep also contributed significantly to increased memory performance. 
3. MIND Diet
Healthy eating, particularly more dark colored fruit, vegetables and oily fish has been shown to improve memory and stave off cognitive decline.
The MIND diet is proven to reduce the risk of dementia. It’s a mix of the popular Mediterranean diet and the low blood pressure DASH diet. 
The study kept track of the diets of almost 1,000 older adults. They were followed for an average of 4½ years.
The study concluded that “people whose diets were most strongly in line with the MIND diet had brains that functioned as if they were 7½ years younger than those whose diets least resembled this eating style.”
The study also showed that people who followed the MIND diet in the study reduced their chance of getting Alzheimer’s disease in half.
So what does the MIND diet consist of? Lots of vegetables, leafy greens, nuts, berries, beans, fish, poultry, olive oil, whole grains and wine.
We all know that stress is bad for our health. It can raise our blood pressure, impact our immune system and interrupt our sleep. Stress also impairs our memory.
When our body gets stressed, it releases cortisol into our blood stream, which can cause short and long term physical changes to the brain. While cortisol has sometimes been shown to cause increases in short term memory, it can actually decrease our long term recall memory.
To help reduce the stress in your life, try relaxing with meditation, yoga or breathing exercises. Unplug–even for just a few hours. Stop checking your emails, social accounts and news. Release some endorphins with some exercise.
Bottom line, the more anxious and stressed we are, the less clearly we think, the poorer our memory works.
5. Continuous Learning
The mind is like a muscle. The more you challenge it, the stronger it gets. The more you learn, the more you can learn.
Research shows that learning can actually change the physical makeup of your brain. Not too long ago, we used to think that you were born with a fixed amount of brain cells, which declined with age. New research now shows that we can actually increase the number of brain cells we have throughout our life.
Aside from staying physically active, learning new skills and studying can actually keep our brains healthier. Consider taking a continuing education class, studying a new language, learning a new instrument, playing new card games. 
Studies show that the more complex the task, the more benefits for your mind. Simply showing up to class is not enough. You need to be actively engaged. Anything that forces you to focus and learn something new and get out of a rote routine will help you sharpen your mind and boost your memory.
6. Stay Social
The more deep and meaningful social connections you maintain, the more you protect your brain. Bottom line, the more friends you have, the more people you work with, the more you’re forced to use your brain.
Social isolation and loneliness are significant risks of dementia. Without interacting with others, our brains wilt. Isolation and loneliness lead to depression, physical and mental decline. 
In a 2016 study published in Frontiers in Aging Neuroscience, seniors with a full social calendar did better on memory, reasoning, and processing speed tests. 
What to do?
Party! Seriously, get together with friends as often as possible. Have family dinners. Choose social activities or sports like tennis, golf, cards or go for walks with a friend. Bottom line have fun, build meaningful social relationships and stay connected. Not only will it make your mind sharper and your memory better, you’ll be happier, too!
7. Wakeful Rest
This one is getting harder and harder to do. In a world where we can’t sit on a bus, go up an elevator or go to the bathroom without our phones, doing absolutely nothing to distract our minds is becoming increasingly difficult.
But, the results are in. Doing nothing is great for your memory. Quietly resting for 10 minutes, after you learn something will help you remember and help you create more detailed memories. 
What we do minutes after we learn something new has a significant impact on how well we retain the new information. In another study, it didn’t matter what you did after you learned something new, as long as you weren’t distracted by outside factors. In other words, you could be thinking of your day, making a grocery list, or thinking of a story. In either case, wakeful rest for a period of 10 minutes helped the brain process and consolidate your memories so that you were better able to recall the information at a later date. 
You don’t have to spend a dime on cocktails and supplements promising a quick boost to your memory power. There is very little conclusive scientific evidence suggesting supplements will help improve the memories of healthy individuals–not for Ginkgo Biloba, Vitamin B, fish oils, Vitamin D, Folate or other supplements claiming they a secret formula.
There are far cheaper and more effective ways to boost your memory: exercise, rest, eat well, learn, love, laugh and relax. Who wouldn’t want that prescription?