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3 Reasons Why Work-Life Balance Is A Stupid Ideal

3 Reasons Why Work-Life Balance Is A Stupid Ideal

I teach Leadership Communications to MBAs and corporate leaders. I have had over 20,000 people participate in my courses over the last 12 years.  At the beginning of my course, I often ask people to make a short list of their current challenges. “Work-life balance” comes up for more than half of the people.

Balance is an ideal. It doesn’t exist. When we are walking, we aren’t in balance. We fall to the left, we fall to the right.  When we are running, we aren’t in balance.  We fall to the left, we fall to the right.  When we are cycling, we aren’t in balance… I think I’ve labored the point.

All natural forward progress by humans comes from imbalance.

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3 Reasons Why Work-Life Balance is a Stupid Idea

  1. It doesn’t exist – Humans have 2 legs, not 3.  Triangles are naturally in balance, humans are not.
  2. You wouldn’t want it if you actually got it – It is the journey that is meaningful, not the seat at the end.  We are journey creatures, not “sitting-on-a-sofa-at-the-end” creatures.
  3. It causes endless frustration.  The search for balance is asking for frustration. It is strong foundations that allow for tall buildings to stay up, not balance.

Instead of seeking balance, work on your foundations and work on your wings.

Build Strong Foundations and Trust your Wings

There is an old story that tells of 3 men.  The first, he built his house on the sand.  When the storms came, he lost his house.  The second, he build his house on the dirt.  When the storms came, he lost his house.  The third, he built his house on the rock.  When the storms came, his house stood firm.

Success is built on strong foundations.  Are you building your house on the rock?  Jim Rohn often said “work harder on yourself than you do on your job.”  You should be learning and training for the job you wish to have, not the job that you have now.  If you don’t know anything deeply, learn something deeply.  If you know one thing deeply, learn another skill.

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Trust Your Wings

I remember my father taking me to the park to learn to ride a bicycle.  I was 8 years old.  I sat on the bike and he held the seat from behind.  He said “I’m holding you up, you can pedal”.  I started to pedal.  He was walking and then running to stay with me.  I said “don’t let go!”.  He said “I am not holding you”.  He had let me go.  I was on my own.  I made it another 10 meters and then fell off (on the soft grass).  I was angry that he had let me go, he was so excited that I had cycled by myself.  His joy won.

I’d have liked my father to keep his hand on the bike seat for longer.  I would not have asked him to let go.  He trusted me.  Now, I need to learn to trust me.  I am a preparation freak.  I like to over-plan.  It is a big challenge for me to put myself into a situation where I don’t feel that I am fully ready yet.  However, life has taught me that it is only there, outside my comfort zone, that the magic happens.

This is not a call to throw yourself recklessly into dangerous situations.  My granny would say “look before you leap”.  She was right.  Only a fool would jump between 2 cliffs that were 20 meters apart with a 200 meter drop.  If there is a 1 meter gap, and the other side looks interesting – make the leap.  My granny’s saying says “look before” but it implies that you should be taking the leap.  Trust your wings, make the leaps.

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Let’s Stop the Search for Balance

If we were supposed to be balanced, humans would have 3 legs.  We don’t.  We have 2.  We are constantly falling, but constantly finding our wings to regain our balance, only to lose it again.

Now, if you don’t know where you are going, or are walking round in circles then maybe you do have a bigger problem…  but that is not the aim of this post.

Keep on falling, keep on recovering.

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Featured photo credit: Eric.Parker via flickr.com

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Conor Neill

Professor of Leadership, President Vistage Spain

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Last Updated on May 28, 2020

9 Things Successful People Do To Always Get What They Want

9 Things Successful People Do To Always Get What They Want

One of the best decisions I’ve ever made was to take on the job of hosting my own weekly radio show. My radio show is about finding some of the most successful people in the world and bringing them on my show to ask them about what they did to become so successful in life and business.

In this article, I’m going to share with you some of the key takeaways I’ve picked up from talking to – and reading about – thought leaders from various fields about the things successful people do. Here, you can get some insights on how to get what you want.

Ready to dive in? Let’s go.

1. They Know What They Want

The first and most important thing that successful people do to always get what they want is so simple that most people forget about it: they figure out what they actually want.

When you know what you want, you will also know how to get what you want. If you’re unsure about what you want in life and business, I’d suggest picking up some career and self-improvement books to help you gain some clarity and focus.

2. They Are Assertive

Successful people know that they need to be both bold and sincere. Balancing these two characteristics is the essence of assertiveness.

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Oh, and by the way – being assertive is not a natural talent someone is born with. Assertiveness is a learned skill and anyone can do it, including you!

3. They Learn

You may have heard of the old saying, “great leaders are readers”. For the most part, I’d say this is true.

Let me give you an example. On my radio show, I regularly ask successful people about their habits that lead to success. Do you want to know something really neat? Every single one of them reads books.

Successful people read and learn as much as they can about what they want so that they can get what they want. If you’re curious about how to get what you want, then start reading a book. If you’re low on time, subscribe to a book summary site to get the core concepts of the books in your industry quickly.

4. They Make Things Meaningful

One of the most powerful things successful people do to always get what they want is that they make things meaningful. That is, they ensure that whatever endeavor they decide to embark upon is meaningful to them (and not necessarily to anyone else). They know and understand that it’s only worth it if it matters.

5. They Ask

One big thing that successful people always do to get what they want is this: they ask.

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Most people are too shy to ask for what they really want. If you are too shy to ask, you may never know how to get what you want. So, don’t be like most people.

Here’s an exercise you can do to get over it: next time you’re buying something, regardless of what it is, ask for a discount. Just do it. The worst-case scenario is that you’ll get a chuckle from the Barrista at Starbucks. The best-case scenario is that you’ll get comfortable with negotiating when it’s time to buy your next car.

6. They Take Action

Insight without action is useless. Successful people know that to always get what they want, they’ve got to take massive action.

One of the most powerful exercises I’ve ever discovered is this: never leave the sight of a goal without taking some kind of action towards its achievement. In other words, as soon as you decide you want something or as soon as you set a goal of some kind, do something – anything – that shifts you closer towards getting it.

7. They Use Their Time Wisely

Have you ever heard of NET time? It stands for “No Extra Time”.

For example: when you’re driving and sitting in traffic, are you listening to Mylie Cyrus? Or are you listening to an audiobook?

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Successful people take NET time seriously. Get yourself some audiobook so you can start listening to the best business and self-improvement books available – all while you’re on your way to work in the morning.

8. They Choose to Lead

You don’t need to have formal authority to become a leader. You just need to choose yourself. All successful people know this, and so should you. Knowing how to get what you want requires knowing how to lead the way for others and yourself.

Don’t wait for anyone else to do it, because the truth is that most people want to be led anyway. So, just step up and claim authority. Be the leader you wish you always had.

9. They Contribute

Successful people know that to get what they want, they have to be willing to help other people get what they want.

What happens when you stop doing your job? What happens when you stop caring about your schoolwork? What happens when you become emotionally disconnected from a relationship?

You suffer – that’s what happens. Successful people know and understand that in order to succeed, they need to contribute. They need to add value to the lives of others. They need to do their best so that they can become the best.

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So, Now What?

I hope this article has re-ignited the fire that you already had within you to be successful at any endeavor. The reason why I’m stressing the fact that you’ve already got everything you need to succeed and get what you want is that you wouldn’t be reading this if you weren’t already motivated to be successful.

At the end of the day, however, all the insights in the world are worth nothing unless you combine them with action. When it’s all said and done, it’s your decision what you do with this list and how you apply it to your life and career.

But if I may, here’s what I would suggest you consider as you get started doing the things to help you succeed:

Review this list of the 9 things successful people do to always get what they want and then compare it with where you currently are at each one of these 9 things. Rate yourself in each one of the 9 things. Next, pick just ONE of them to work on every week.

For example, if you find that you’d like to learn more about the business side of the company you work for, then go read the best business books to help you do that.

Never stop learning. Always feed your mind with the knowledge you need to become as successful as possible within your area or industry. It doesn’t matter how busy you are. We’re all busy. Make the time to expand your knowledge.

And remember: every key learning should be immediately followed with action.

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Featured photo credit: Austin Distel via unsplash.com

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