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10 Things You Should Give Up To Boost Happiness

10 Things You Should Give Up To Boost Happiness

Happiness is not a goal, but a state of being. People forget that though its true that you feel happiness when you reach your goals, DAILY happiness is an experience. Achieving your dreams does give happiness, but does not replace sadness. In fact, I would say that feeling happiness while reaching for your dreams is one of the most important keys in reaching your goals in the first place.

So if happiness begets more happiness AND success, how will someone get there if they don’t feel very happy right now? Luckily, there is a simple answer to this. All people would need to do, is give up on certain negative things that drag them down. There is a lot of baggage that people carry around and that prevents the experience of joy. Think of these things as blockages to the well of happiness that exists within everyone.

People can and have succeeded in their attempt to remove these harmful things from their lives. And everyone can do it. As long as he or she knows what baggage to give up, he will surely rediscover the happiness he always had.

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To help out, I list here 10 common things to give up to be happy:

1. Give Up Jealousy

Some people think that comparing themselves to others is good. It could be, if the purpose of is to compete. To give oneself a goal to aspire to. But it starts being harmful when the achievements of others bring about envious feelings. Give this up, and you’ll have more time focusing on what you could achieve instead of what others achieve.

2. Give up the Fear of Change

Most of the time, even if the current situation is like hell, a lot of people just refuse to budge. They know that they aren’t comfortable where they are. It’s just that they fear new things more! Shedding this feeling from their lives would open up new worlds for them to discover. Being able to decide to change and facing it head on is the most exhilarating feeling someone could experience.

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3. Giving up Control

Though many people want the power to control how their lives (and perhaps the lives of others) play out, not everything can be controlled. Sometimes, no matter how hard they try, not everything turns out the way they wanted it to. However, once people start recognizing that certain things and events are just really beyond their control, they can start to be more accepting of what life gives them.

4. Give up Overwork Time

Professional achievement drives a lot of businessmen and entrepreneurs to work long hours. I know it’s to achieve our dreams, but we need some balance in their lives in order to be happy. Achieving worthy goals is good, giving some time to other important parts of life (family, friends, hobbies) is better.

5. Give up Blaming

Sometimes, things go wrong. Whether its in the job or some other area of life, people feel the need to give blame to something or someone when this happens. It’s like a coping mechanism: people just don’t want to feel responsible for anything bad that happens. By giving this up, people can instead focus on finding solutions and getting out of a bad situation.

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6. Give up Complaining

Constantly complaining people not only ruin their own happiness, but the happiness of others too. The one thing that people could surely control is their reaction to unhappy events. One of the best things people could do is to stop their complaining and start looking at problems in a new light.

7. Give up the Need to Be Right All the Time

No one is possessed with the power to know everything there is to know. So why do some people insist that they are right all the time? Even if they were, would it have been worth it to argue with others because of it? Sometimes its just better to put the relationships you have over being right.

8. Give up Limiting Beliefs

Still some others feel that they just can’t achieve their dreams, or even some form of it. The feeling of lack, the belief that their ability is limited, is one of the BIGGEST obstacles to happiness. By giving this up, the world will start revealing unlimited possibilities.

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9. Give up Bad Friends

People are easily influenced by their peers. Humans are such social creatures that we adopt the habits and values of the people around us. Bad friends who influence people  to be less than what they could be will prevent them from experiencing the happiness they deserve. Instead, people should surround themselves with others who inspire them and drive them to live their lives to the fullest.

10. Give up the Past

Admittedly, the past is filled with experiences, good and bad. But these experiences are meant to build people up. The past should not be a recording of regrets that people look back to most of the time. The past should be a source of wisdom, to push people to become their better selves and continue to live the happy life they deserve to have.

Featured photo credit: Happiness/Farrukh via flickr.com

More by this author

Lianne Martha Maiquez Laroya

Lianne is a licensed financial advisor, Registered Financial Planner, entrepreneur and book author.

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Last Updated on September 24, 2020

17 Ways Learn New Skills Faster and Enjoy the Process

17 Ways Learn New Skills Faster and Enjoy the Process

In the movie The Matrix, everyone was intrigued with the ability that Neo and his friends possessed to learn new skills in a matter of seconds. With the incredible rise in technology today, the rapid learning in the movie is becoming much more of a reality than you realize.

The current generation has access to more knowledge and information than any before it. Through the internet, we are able to access all sorts of knowledge to answer almost every conceivable question. To become smarter, it’s more about the ability to learn faster, rather than being a natural born genius.

Here are 17 ways to kickstart your Matrix-style learning experience in a short amount of time.

1. Deconstruct and Reverse Engineer

Break down the skill that you want to learn into little pieces and learn techniques to master an isolated portion. The small pieces will come together to make up the whole skill.

For example, when you’re learning to play the guitar, learn how to press down a chord pattern with your fingers first without even trying to strum the chord. Once you are able to change between a couple of chord patterns, then add the strumming.

2. Use the Pareto Principle

Use the Pareto Principle, which is also known as the 80 20 rule. Identify the 20% of the work that will give you 80% of the results. Find out more about the 80 20 rule here: What Is the 80 20 Rule (And How to Use It to Boost Productivity)

Take learning a new language for example. It does not take long to realize that some words pop up over and over again as you’re learning. You can do a quick search for “most commonly used French words,” for example, and begin to learn them first before adding on the rest.

3. Make Stakes

Establish some sort of punishment for not learning the skill that you are seeking. There are sites available that allow you to make a donation toward a charity you absolutely hate if you do not meet your goals. Or you can place a bet with a friend to light that fire under you.

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However, keep in mind that several studies have shown that rewards tend to be more motivating than punishment[1].

4. Record Yourself

Seeing yourself on video is a great way to learn from your mistakes and identify areas that you need to improve. This is very effective for any musicians, actors, speakers, performers, and dancers.

5. Join a Group

There are huge benefits to learning in a group. Not only are you able to learn from others but you’ll be encouraged to make progress together. Whether it’s a chess club, a mastermind group, or an online meet-up group, get connected with other like-minded individuals.

6. Time Travel

Visit the library. Although everything is moving more and more online, there are still such things called libraries.

Whether it’s a municipal library or your university library, you will be amazed at some of the books available there that are not accessible online. Specifically, look for the hidden treasures and wisdom contained in the really old books.

7. Be a Chameleon

When you want to learn new skills, imitate your biggest idol. Watch a video and learn from seeing someone else do it. Participate in mimicry and copy what you see.

Studies have shown that, apart from learning,[2]

“Mimicry is an effective tool not only to create ties and social relationships, but also for maintaining them.”

Visual learning is a great way to speed up the learning process. YouTube has thousands of videos on almost every topic available.

8. Focus

Follow one course until success! It’s easy to get distracted, to throw in the towel, or to become interested in the next great thing and ditch what you initially set out to do.

Ditch the whole idea of multitasking, as it has been shown to be detrimental and unproductive Simply focus on the one new skill at hand until you get it done.

9. Visualize

The mind has great difficulty distinguishing between what is real and what is imagined. That is why athletes practice mentally seeing their success before attempting the real thing[3].

Visualize yourself achieving your new skill and each step that you need to make to see results. This is an important skill to help when you’re learning the basics or breaking a bad habit.

Take a look at this article to learn how to do so: How to Become a Person Who Can Visualize Results

10. Find a Mentor

Success leaves clues. The best short cut to become an expert is to find an expert and not have to make the mistakes that they have made.

Finding out what NOT to do from the expert will fast-track your learning when you want to learn new skills. It is a huge win to have them personally walk you through what needs to be done. Reach out and send an email to them.

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If you need help learning how to find a mentor, check out this article.

11. Sleep on It

Practice your new skill within four hours of going to sleep.

Josh Kaufman, author of The Personal MBA, is a noted rapid learning expert. He says that any practice done within this time frame causes your brain to embed the learning more rapidly into its neural pathways. Your memory and motor-mechanics are ingrained at a quicker level.

12. Use the 20-Hour Rule

Along with that tip, Kaufman also suggests 20 as the magic number of hours to dedicate to learning the new skill.

His reasoning is that everyone will hit a wall early on in the rapid learning stage and that “pre-committing” to 20 hours is a sure-fire way to push through that wall and acquire your new skill.[4]

Check out his video to find out more:

13. Learn by Doing

It’s easy to get caught up in reading and gathering information on how to learn new skills and never actually get around to doing those skills. The best way to learn is to do.

Regardless of how unprepared you feel, make sure you are physically engaged continuously. Keep alternating between research and practice.

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14. Complete Short Sprints

Rather than to force yourself into enduring hours upon hours of dedication, work in short sprints of about 20-30 minutes, then get up and stretch or take a short walk. Your brain’s attention span works best with short breaks, so be sure to give it the little rest it needs.

One study found that, between two groups of students, the students who took two short breaks when studying actually performed better than those who didn’t take breaks[5].

15. Ditch the Distractions

Make sure the environment you are in is perfect for your rapid-learning progress. That means ditching any social media, and the temptation to check any email. As the saying goes, “Out of sight, out of mind.”

Before you sit down to learn new skills, make sure that potential distractions are far from sight.

16. Use Nootropics

Otherwise known as brain enhancers, these cognitive boosters are available in natural herbal forms and in supplements.

Many students will swear by the increased focus that nootropics will provide[6], particularly as they get set for some serious cramming. Natural herbal nootropics have been used for thousands of years in Ayurvedic traditions to improve the mind and learning.

Find out more about brain supplements in this article.

17. Celebrate

For every single small win that you experience during the learning process, be sure to celebrate. Your brain will release endorphins and serotonin as you raise your hands in victory and pump your fits. Have a piece of chocolate and give yourself a pat on the back. This positive reinforcement will help you keep pushing forward as you learn new skills.

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The Bottom Line

Learning a new skill should be exciting and fun. Whether you use online courses, real world experience, YouTube videos, or free online resources, take time to learn in the long term. Keep picturing the joy of reaching the end goal and being a better version of yourself as continual motivation.

More Tips on How to Learn New Skills

Featured photo credit: Elijah M. Henderson via unsplash.com

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