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11 Things Every Parent Can Do To Make Their Kids Much Happier

11 Things Every Parent Can Do To Make Their Kids Much Happier

Are you a caring parent who is willing to go the extra mile for the welfare of your child? Have you ever wondered whether your busy lifestyle is affecting their normal upbringing? Pause for a moment and think how children feel and what kind of mental state they are suffering from. Children are very innocent at heart and so if they want to play or want to know something related to their education you shouldn’t ignore them or show your displeasure even though you may be tired, because such behavior hurts them. As a parent you must know how important it is for you to get involved in your children’s education as it increases their chances of success considerably.

As per a survey done by researchers from the Institute for Social and Economic Research, the affect of being a full-time working mother or dad on a kid’s education is the same as growing up in a single-parent family. Research shows that a child’s potential to do well at exams come down by 20% in cases where the mother returns to work. Such children (age 5-10) whose mothers are busy with their work do worse at school and suffer from mental stress compared to those youngsters whose mothers stay at home to bring them up and help them in their studies.

The study showed that during the 1970s and early 1980s, average mothers worked full-time for 18 months before the child was five. Almost two third of their kids i.e. approximately 64% of them achieved at least one A-level or equal qualification. It was seen that for mothers who worked for 30 months and over before their kid was five, only 52% of the children achieved one A-level pass.

However, compared to the earlier periods the working parents of today are more affected by feelings of guilt. A new study says that around 42% of parents that participated in the study were unhappy that they couldn’t fulfill their role as ideal parents during the week days. The research also shows that it is the quality of your involvement and not the quantity that counts. For example you may spend hours with your child but it will serve no useful purpose if you remain aloof to its desires and needs for emotional connect. So don’t be with the child just for the heck of it while you play away at your mobile phone or whatsoever. Make your child the center of your focus.

Research says that children of parents who are more involved in their kid’s education and other extracurricular activities tend to be more intelligent and active. So, it’s very essential to support and guide your children whether it’s for education, games or teaching them good and bad habits. No matter how busy you are with your daily work schedule, there are plenty of things that you can do for your children during your free time.

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Here are some ideas for busy parents to get their children a little more outdoor time without causing your head and busy schedule to burst out!

Put on a happy face

happy face

    By the time you reach home after a tiring day at the office, your entire body may be hurting but still when your kids come running to you and share all his/her activities that he/she did in school, you should put on a smile and meet their expectations so that they feel you are their best friend. But, if you put them away and ask them to come later then their joy in having you around might disappear.

    Don’t brush off your child’s concerns

    Make your children understand that you are always available to talk with them and share whatever is disturbing them. If you brush aside the feeling of your kid or try to ignore it, the child will keep his feelings inside and never express it to you. So, be a good listener as it can be very helpful in dealing with children.

    Plan family time

    Though, you might be having a busy life during the week days, try to take out some time from your busy schedule and plan unique activities to enjoy with your kids like games, bike ride, or do some creative activities. You may also take your child to shopping malls or water parks, where they can spend time with you.

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    Hold family meetings weekly

    Family Meetings

      Kids feel very special if they are taken seriously and their ideas are praised. Your children may help you to make morning and bedtime routines and come up with creative ways to manage chores. It’s very exciting to see how children are more willing to follow the plans and rules created by them. Such meetings can also help children learn how to solve problems and be cooperative. They get the chance to put forward their problems in family meetings so that the parent can solve it and make them understand in a proper way.

      Lead family discussions with children

      Dinnertime is the perfect time for your family to have discussions about the latest news, topics, and new stories. Parents may also discuss about science education so that children can gain some knowledge and interact more with parents. In this way, busy parents can guide their children and be their idol.

      Instead of sidelining your children, ask them whether they can help you

      Kids are very innocent creatures who always hanker after their parents’ love and attention. So, it makes them feel special when parents ask for their help instead of lecturing and scolding them. Ask for their help in a polite manner instead of asking for it rudely or harshly, as they feel they are being scolded and brought down. Like, if you find your child’s room dirty or things are kept here and there then ask him/her to help you in making it clean instead of scolding him or her for making it dirty.

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      Get new clothes for your kid and make them glad

      Get new clothes for your kid

        Are you too busy with your office work and responsibilities? Does your child ask to go out for shopping? No worry, you no more have to say your child ‘NO’ as if you can’t go shopping with them, search online and get the colorful clothes for them. Why to roam here and there around the streets when you can easily get a huge variety from the comfort of your home? All you need to do is to steal some time from your busy schedule and do online shopping for kid’s clothing. There are plenty of online shopping store for children where you may get huge collection in vibrant designs and colors. In this way you can shop the perfect clothes for your child by saving your time and money as well. So, buy trendy clothes for your kids online and make them realize how special they are for you.

        Outings on weekends

        Weekends are generally busy as you have lots of things to do at home but you can finish it off quickly and plan an outdoor adventure for the joy of your child as it could add fun and rejuvenate you and your child’s mind. You can also take the family to nearby Local Park for a picnic and meals together. After all, it’s always good to have family get together to talk and relish various outdoor activities.

        Be a good companion for your kid

        No matter how busy you are, the most important thing is to build a strong relationship with your kid. Though, you can’t spare sufficient time for them, but whenever you are free like at night, during breakfast time, etc., show your interest and talk to your child as if you are his/her good friend. Never show them anger if they talk any wrong things, and try to teach them about moral values or ‘what is wrong’ and ‘what is right’, so that they can know the difference between right and wrong. In this way, they will never try to hide anything and as a good companion they will share each and every thing with you. After all, a fruitful relationship between parents and children is very necessary to make a healthy family life.

        Green time co-ops

        If you know some impossibly-busy parents who may like to unite with you for making sure that your kids play or engage in outdoor activities, you may form a green time co-op in which each parent can take turns to take an hour off from their work in a week to look after the child while they play.

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        Make them learn from you

        Parents do feel guilty when they cannot give time to their children due to their busy schedule. But looking at it the other way, it can be helpful for parents like you as you can set an example for your children with your hard work. As children see their parents working hard at a job and handling plenty of responsibility, they can also learn about the responsibility and work for an aim. Discussing the same with your child may improve their learning ability.

        So, it is advisable for every busy parent to try the above suggestions for their child’s unhindered growth and also to become their idol.

        Featured photo credit: Spotonlists via spotonlists.com

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        Last Updated on July 10, 2020

        How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

        How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

        We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

        We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

        So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

        Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

        What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

        Boundaries are limits

        —they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

        Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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        Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

        Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

        Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

        How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

        Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

        1. Self-Awareness Comes First

        Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

        You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

        To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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        You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

        • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
        • When do you feel disrespected?
        • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
        • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
        • When do you want to be alone?
        • How much space do you need?

        You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

        2. Clear Communication Is Essential

        Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

        Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

        3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

        Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

        That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

        Sample language:

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        • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
        • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
        • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
        • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
        • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
        • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
        • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

        Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

        4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

        Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

        Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

        Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

        We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

        It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

        It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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        Final Thoughts

        Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

        Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

        Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

        The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

        Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

        Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

        They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

        Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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