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Do You Make These Mistakes When Pursuing Your Goal?

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Do You Make These Mistakes When Pursuing Your Goal?

Success is not just about hard work and perseverance. There are some factors that you need to take into account to prevent yourself from stumbling.

Following are the mistakes that I’ve made. Avoid them so you can achieve your goal soon.

1. Being Impatient For Success

“Don’t think what’s the cheapest way to do it or what’s the fastest way to do it. Think what’s the most amazing way to do it.” – Richard Branson

Everyone wants to succeed fast. This is especially true if you have quit your job to focus fully on your goal, like starting a business. You may feel stressed and impatient when you watch your savings flow out and there is no income at all during the first few months.

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At this stage, you need to stay focused on your target. Don’t sacrifice the quality of your work for the sake of saving time. Instead, make great efforts to produce an awesome product even no one notices it yet. Remember, since you’ve resigned, burn your bridges, don’t look back and go all out to make your goal a success!

2. Working Hard With No Reflection

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein

They say good things take time; so you constantly use the same methods and strategies without evaluation. Even when there’s no significant progress after a period, you persuade yourself that if you wait faithfully, your dream will come true someday. You think this is perseverance? No; you might wait forever without results.

You need to take a step back and review your actions in order to move forward. Try setting milestones with deadlines. If you fail to reach the milestone, check your tactics, adjust your plan, learn from gurus, strike out in new approaches, test again and venture again. Don’t be afraid to change.

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3. Comparing Yourself To Others

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” – Steven Furtick

Success stories are everywhere. But we neglected the enormous efforts and countless failures that they’ve encountered. If you only focus on how fast or easy they succeeded, you will end up feeling like an idiot. But no, you are not. Save yourself from the whirlpool of self-pity and hopelessness.

I was working on a project for some time. I felt bitter when I saw others could nail it easily. It was then my friend reminded me that mistakes and failures are progress, too. I haven’t gain success yet, but I gained lessons. I’m marching on, more wisely and confidently this time.

4. Banning All Playtime

“In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed.” – Sid Caeser

You may take your goal as a life or death matter, as though the world will come to an end if you don’t make it. Therefore, you add more hours to your endeavour and limit all leisure activities, entertainment and even family time. However, you’ll risk losing creativity, sparks and passion in your work.

The key is to be serious with your goal, but not to be too harsh on yourself. Allow yourself to relax, have fun or travel. You get to refuel yourself with more inspiration and power to create amazing stuffs.

5. Neglecting Self Appreciation

“You must not only make time to create a plan, you must make time to appreciate how well you followed the plan.” – Karen Salmansohn

You are grateful to those who are willing to lend you a hand. But you probably forget to thank yourself and encourage yourself to keep up the good work. The compliments you give to yourself help you go further. One of the easiest ways to do this is to write down all the things you’ve tried and learned. All these victories are great motivation for you when you have self doubt. Let them reaffirm your abilities.

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Featured photo credit: Caution by Michele M. F. via flic.kr

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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