Most people appear confident when in reality, they want things that they can’t have, and feel badly about it. Everywhere I go, I see them talking about ignorance without realizing their projections and insecurities are manifested in what they say and how they act. They are clones, automatons, and they do just the opposite of what I am going to tell you to do below, wading through life without ever knowing how to be yourself.
1. Find your passion.
My little brother has no passion, but he’s got likes. He likes food, girls, and alcohol. Unfortunately, he doesn’t want to get a job in these fields. Perhaps most of all, he likes to brood. I’m pushing him to become a philosopher, hoping that his preference for deep thought will help him make money. In the meantime, he’s going to finish college.
2. Be fearless.
Fears are weaknesses. To be yourself, get rid of all fear in your life by facing it head on. Even if you fail, you should learn how to succeed next time.
3. Be kind to yourself.
Judge less and appreciate more what you do and what you have done. Everyone has different talents and can help to leave the planet a better place than it was when they found it, which is really the goal of life. Even if your way of enhancing the world is to smile at strangers, that’s still worth a lot more than what some people offer.
4. Accept failure.
Fail faster to find success. It may take five years instead of ten, but as long as you stick with your failures and appreciate them, learning from your suffering, you will find that the core of who you are is stronger than ever.
Dreams and goals are very similar. If you dream of achieving something, you can set goals to reach it. If you don’t dream, you will live an average life, indistinguishable from the crowd.
Some people think that reading isn’t as important as keeping up with their Neflix queue. They fail to realize that the brightest and best minds and most interesting experiences central to human experience have been put into writing for the past five thousand years. To learn more about yourself, spend some time alone with a book and tap into the richness of literature.
7. Surround yourself with good people.
Too many people I know are satisfied to stoop low and pick up dirt when it comes to those who they believe are “friends.” True friends are loyal and share your interests. They are willing to do more than gossip and talk about things. Perhaps most important, good people are willing to make you feel better about yourself, without talking about how great they are. They will enjoy you not for being like them, but rather for knowing how to be yourself.
8. Go against the grain.
Most people seek the comfort of a group. Usually, however, this does not teach you how to be yourself, but how to conform. Instead, think about what matters to you and do it—don’t care if everyone else disagrees.
9. Think about your clan.
What would your family think? By being close genetically to you, those who raised you or were there with you during tough times are good to turn to when in trouble. The values your family supports can translate to your own, especially on big issues you don’t know how to answer.
Seeing how other people in the world live can help you appreciate what you have and what sets you apart. Plus, on any trip, you will come across challenges, such as communicating and getting to where you need to go on time. Traveling alone can force you to learn things about yourself you never knew existed.