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7 Things That Stress You Out That You Should Ignore

7 Things That Stress You Out That You Should Ignore

Life is hard enough without letting things – especially things that other people do or say – stress you out even more. Some stress in life is good, I think. I mean, without feeling a little stress to perform, would you always do as well as you could at your job? Without a little competitive stress, you might not try to win, or at least do well, in a race. A little stress about your mother-in-law coming over gets you off the couch and cleaning a bit before she shows up.

On the other hand, too much stress can have negative health benefits, increase your anxiety and make you feel bad about yourself. While a little stress is good, take the opportunity to eliminate – or just plain, old ignore, other stressful things in your life, like these:

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Ignore Blatant Negativity

Whether it’s from someone else, or you are creating it yourself, blatant negativity should be avoided at all costs. People who always have something bad to say can really bring you down and stress you out. I recently started a farmers’ market in my little town. It’s been going really well, even though the weather hasn’t always been ideal. Living near the ocean, it gets windy, rainy and just plain ugly some days. There is a woman who is a vendor at the market that always makes a point of complaining to me about the weather and indicating that she thinks I should be able to do something about it. As the newbie in town, this really bothered me for the first few markets, until I realized that this particularly negative person would complain about any weather — or anything else — no matter what. Now, I just smile and nod and walk away before she can get to any negative comments that I can’t do anything about.

Ignore People Who Try to Blame You

Just like my farmers’ market lady from the above scenario, there will always be people who either try to blame you for everything — or who bring all of their problems to you. And if you’re like me, you want to help people. You want them to come to you when they have issues and you want to help them sort them out. But have you ever noticed that there are a few people who have drama in every aspect of their lives? And they need you to get in the middle and sort it out? Don’t. This sort of negative energy can start to permeate your life as well and you simply don’t need it. Once you let the negative lives of others seep into yours, you start to feel stressed out — over stuff that isn’t your problem! Sometimes, you have to say “no,” or “I’m sorry, I can’t help with this right now.”

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Ignore Other People’s Opinions

Other people’s opinions of what you do and how you do it can bring a lot of stress into your life. For a long time, I avoided moving to Alaska and pursuing my own dreams because of the opinions of my family. They thought I would be irresponsible and crazy if I took my kids so far north. Now I know that they were really just afraid for me, but for a long time I let that stress control my life. Whether the other people’s opinions are good or bad, you must ignore them to keep that stress out of your life and move forward.

Ignore the Idea of “Perfect.”

Too often, we want things to be “just perfect.” The house, the yard, our car, our job — all of it should be and act just according to our plan. When the house doesn’t look nice for company or we don’t get the promotion in a timely manner, we start to feel stressed. Unfortunately, life doesn’t happen on a perfectly planned time table. Let the notion of “perfect” go and you will find the stress you feel reduce immensely. Sometimes, when the book club is coming, “good enough,” is “good enough.” Sometimes, when the day is beautiful, it’s more important to spend it at the beach with the kids than to worry about the lawn getting mowed or the weeds in the flower bed.

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Ignore the Desire for Stuff

The desire to get more stuff can create more stress than we really need. Yes, a new car would be nice, but for how long? If you are fortunate enough to have a car that works well, then don’t worry about getting another. Do you really need a huge TV or the latest washer and dryer? The desire for new and better can create stress among family and friends that you really don’t need, especially if you feel like you are the one being left behind. Practicing gratitude for what we have — and wanting what we have can reduce stress and make our lives much more pleasant overall.

Ignore “Easy.”

Life isn’t easy. Ever. In fact, if something is too easy, it’s probably not worth your trouble. Things that are satisfying are often hard. Trying to make things too easy can be stressful. Assuming that things that are important are going to require effort will actually reduce the amount of stress you feel.

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Change

Be flexible. Change as it is needed. Make changes. Adapt. When you accept that things have to change, you can reduce the amount of stress you feel. Go with the flow and you’ll find life, work and relationships a lot less stressful overall.

More by this author

Michelle Kennedy Hogan

Michelle is an explorer, editor, author of 15 books, and mom of eight.

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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