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These Simple Gestures You Do Will Make Your Relationship Happier, Even Though You Don’t Feel So

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These Simple Gestures You Do Will Make Your Relationship Happier, Even Though You Don’t Feel So

Being thoughtful is the easiest way to build and keep a stronger, happier relationship. Everyone’s life gets busy, but taking the time to do something nice for your honey will not go unnoticed. When one person in a couple is thoughtful, usually the other half feels inspired to be so as well. And when both partners are finding simple ways to remind each other they care, it makes for a really sweet, loving relationship where the focus is positivity and happiness. In a world where there are so many things to worry about, wouldn’t it be nice to have a relationship that fills you with joy?

Finding ways to be thoughtful will not only make your significant other feel great, they will leave you with a smile too! Doing nice acts is contagious and fuels a pleasant environment. Don’t underestimate the value of the little things in life!

1. Mail a Letter

Romance is not dead! Just because we have the internet and texting, don’t underestimate the sentimentality of mailing your love a letter. Long or short, the effort of sending a piece of mail (even if you live together) is very sweet and thoughtful. You can express how your partner makes you feel, or you can just wish him or her a good day. This small gesture will be a great surprise when he or she opens their mail and it’s not all bills!

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2. Plan a Picnic

Alone time is always special, but taking that little extra moment to plan a meal that isn’t made at home, or even at a restaurant, shows you went above and beyond. Whether you pack caviar or just PB and J, the good deed won’t go unnoticed.

3. Hide a Note

Whether it’s in your babe’s pants pocket, luggage or lunch — the surprise of finding a little love letter is always wonderful. The fact that you took the time to wish your love well, or to have a good day really will brighten his or her mood. This one never gets old!

4. Show Up at Work

Work can be stressful and/or boring. A visit to your partner’s office is a simple way to brighten his or her day. You don’t need flowers or lunch, sometimes just a great hug from the one you love can really heighten a dull day.

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5. Arrange for a Surprise Visit From a Friend

A good surprise can take a lot of time, thought and effort, but when it’s pulled off everyone involved feels elated and excited. Take a moment to call your love’s friends or family and arrange for a get together. Whether near or far, coming home or showing up at a restaurant where a long-lost pal is waiting is a wonderful shock. This idea will be talked about for weeks thereafter!

6. Fill the Fridge With Favorites

Do you know what your honey loves to snack on? Why not go out and buy those goodies and put them in the fridge or cupboard. No notes necessary, when he or she realizes you took the time to think of his or her favorites, the consideration will be greatly treasured.

7. Clean the Car

Having a messy car can be stressful to some, and who wants to put in the effort to get it cleaned? Offering to clean the car or surprising your beloved with this act is sure to bring smiles all around.

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8. Give a Massage

Light a few candles, get out some good lotion or massage oil and get ready to lather your loved one down. You don’t have to be the best masseuse to try and help your hun relax. If a whole body massage is intimidating, perhaps just try a foot rub while watching TV together. The idea that you want to make him or her feel good will certainly set the tone for a great night.

9. Buy a Gift for No Reason

When you are out and about, if you see something that makes you think of your significant other, buy it! Gifts don’t have to be just for birthdays, Christmas or Valentine’s Day. They are so much sweeter and more thoughtful when they are bought as a “just because.” Your loved one is sure to have a big reaction to this, and you will be feeling good as well!

10. Give Up the Remote

It’s very common to have different tastes and interests as far as what you like to relax in front of. But every once in a while, give up the remote! Cuddling and snuggling actually releases endorphins that make you both feel satisfied. Your show can wait, the idea that you just wanted to be next to your dearest will not be overlooked.

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We tend to put forth our best selves in the beginning of a relationship, and then as time passes we forget the little things that made our union so special and exciting. Bring it back with these thoughtful gestures. No act is too small to say, “Hey, I’m thinking about you.” Sometimes, the smallest acts are really what mean the most. Challenge yourself to do something thoughtful every day. Not only will you see a change in your partner, but you will see a change in yourself. As the energy in the relationship elevates, your entire life will brighten. Doesn’t a world where people are happy and nice to each other sound great? Make it happen, it’s not that hard!

Featured photo credit: The Kiss Pedro Ribeiro Simões via flickr.com

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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