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These 10 Excuses You Make Are Really Fears In Disguise

These 10 Excuses You Make Are Really Fears In Disguise

When we’re scared to do something, we find ways to make sure we cannot do it. We beat around the bush, hide behind false sentiments and come up with reasons that it simply cannot be done.

In the real world, excuses only achieve one thing – nothing.

Your business wont grow, your relationships wont flourish and you’ll never get anything done. It’s time to face your excuses, confront the belief’s behind them – and take back your life.

Here’s 10 excuses and what to do about them:

1. “I don’t have time”

Making this excuse shows you’re scared to leave your comfort zone. It’s easy to hide behind the concept of time, because there is always something you can do with your time to look and feel busy.

The truth?

You do. You always have time. The time you spend watching TV, checking Facebook, Twitter and Instagram posts could be spent doing something far more productive. My grandmother raised 6 children whilst working 4 jobs and never once missed making dinner – if she can do it, so can you.

The only way you’re ever going to achieve something is if you make time.

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2. “I’m not smart enough”

Making this excuse shows you’re scared you’re not good enough to do it. That, you’re going to fail. Or that you’ll get caught out because you don’t know enough.

Hiding behind your intelligence does more harm than good. It’s a sure-fire way to ruin your self confidence and self esteem.

In order to learn, you need to fail, make mistakes and screw it all up from time to time. It’s going to happen at some point, so you should embrace it as part of the process.

You’re good enough to do whatever you set your mind to.

3. “I’ll do it, but I really need to do this first”

If you’re making this excuse you’re scared to death of taking the first step. You’re aware it’s a priority but you don’t want to take the first plunge in to the unknown yet.

Inaction is the sure-fire way to mediocrity and unhappiness. You’ll never regret a first step you took, but you’ll always regret the ones you didn’t.

Don’t do this to yourself. Make a to-do list, put it at the top – and don’t give up until it’s done. Even if it means closing your eyes and taking a run at it.

4. “I’m just waiting for the right time”

Is your success so based in science, that it needs to be done at 11:22am on a Tuesday Morning in the middle of July? I doubt it.

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There is no such thing as a right time. It’s a myth, a legend and a bedtime story.

You were not born at the right time in your parents life, and your child will not be born at the most opportune moment in yours. But still, however many years later – you’re doing OK.

So, why should what you want be any different?

Don’t wait for the right time. The right time is now.

5. “There’s too much going on right now”

Has there ever been a time in your life where you haven’t had something going on? Where everything was chilled out, relaxed and you just coasted through the day? That hasn’t happened since you were in Elementary School.

This excuse shows you’re scared to prioritize your needs over the needs of others. That the expectations of others have become more important than your health, success and happiness.

You’ll find that in your day, there is a lot of time wasted on menial tasks and general busywork for other people, that could be spent doing what you need to do. Put yourself first for a moment, and take a hold of your life.

6.“But, I need to pay the bills”

You’re scared to be independent. To be in total control of your finances and completely self reliant.

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Your bills will still be paid if you take the plunge. When starting though, what may suffer, is the money you have to spend on luxuries and treating yourself. And for most people making this excuse that is what you don’t want to suffer.

The question you have to ask yourself is, “Do I wan’t to spend on myself, more than I want to be successful?”.

In the words of Nassim Taleb, “The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary”. Don’t get addicted.

7. “I would do it, but I don’t think my partner (or kids) will be okay with it”

This excuse is a clear fear of putting yourself first. That you’re compelled to put the needs of your family before your own, in case they look poorly upon your decisions.

Be aelfish. Your family are there to support you, as much as you are to support them. And if what you wan’t doesn’t come at a detriment to their well-being, be selfish and put yourself first. They’ll be more accepting of what you’re doing than you’d think.

8. “I haven’t had the right opportunity yet”

This excuse is akin to not having enough time. Opportunities are like buses – there’s one every twenty minutes.

If an opportunity comes your way, take it. It will never be perfect or come in a beacon of light, sealed by the gods. It’ll present itself in an awkward fashion and show up at the worst possible time.

And, when you can’t find any opportunities at all – make one. You can’t let your future lie purely on elements you have no control over.

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9. “I don’t know the right people.”

When people say, ‘It’s not what you know, it’s who you know’ – they’re usually scared of their abilities to get things done. Your network is a valuable resource that takes you to places far beyond your reach. But don’t use it as an excuse to not do anything.

Take the initiative to find the right people, and get to knew them. There are no shortage of networking books out there (Personal Recommendation: Never Eat Alone, Keith Ferazzi’) – so go out and find the right people.

Forge a network that will benefit you. Go out and talk to them, because they won’t come looking for you.

10. “I’m not ready yet”

You will never be ready. All the preparation and planning in the world goes out the window as soon as you put everything in motion.

Not being ready is an excuse shrouded in the fear of taking action.

The best way to defeat your fears? Take action.

Stop trying to be ready to do things, and start doing them anyway.

Featured photo credit: William Marlow via flickr.com

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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