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These 10 Excuses You Make Are Really Fears In Disguise

These 10 Excuses You Make Are Really Fears In Disguise

When we’re scared to do something, we find ways to make sure we cannot do it. We beat around the bush, hide behind false sentiments and come up with reasons that it simply cannot be done.

In the real world, excuses only achieve one thing – nothing.

Your business wont grow, your relationships wont flourish and you’ll never get anything done. It’s time to face your excuses, confront the belief’s behind them – and take back your life.

Here’s 10 excuses and what to do about them:

1. “I don’t have time”

Making this excuse shows you’re scared to leave your comfort zone. It’s easy to hide behind the concept of time, because there is always something you can do with your time to look and feel busy.

The truth?

You do. You always have time. The time you spend watching TV, checking Facebook, Twitter and Instagram posts could be spent doing something far more productive. My grandmother raised 6 children whilst working 4 jobs and never once missed making dinner – if she can do it, so can you.

The only way you’re ever going to achieve something is if you make time.

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2. “I’m not smart enough”

Making this excuse shows you’re scared you’re not good enough to do it. That, you’re going to fail. Or that you’ll get caught out because you don’t know enough.

Hiding behind your intelligence does more harm than good. It’s a sure-fire way to ruin your self confidence and self esteem.

In order to learn, you need to fail, make mistakes and screw it all up from time to time. It’s going to happen at some point, so you should embrace it as part of the process.

You’re good enough to do whatever you set your mind to.

3. “I’ll do it, but I really need to do this first”

If you’re making this excuse you’re scared to death of taking the first step. You’re aware it’s a priority but you don’t want to take the first plunge in to the unknown yet.

Inaction is the sure-fire way to mediocrity and unhappiness. You’ll never regret a first step you took, but you’ll always regret the ones you didn’t.

Don’t do this to yourself. Make a to-do list, put it at the top – and don’t give up until it’s done. Even if it means closing your eyes and taking a run at it.

4. “I’m just waiting for the right time”

Is your success so based in science, that it needs to be done at 11:22am on a Tuesday Morning in the middle of July? I doubt it.

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There is no such thing as a right time. It’s a myth, a legend and a bedtime story.

You were not born at the right time in your parents life, and your child will not be born at the most opportune moment in yours. But still, however many years later – you’re doing OK.

So, why should what you want be any different?

Don’t wait for the right time. The right time is now.

5. “There’s too much going on right now”

Has there ever been a time in your life where you haven’t had something going on? Where everything was chilled out, relaxed and you just coasted through the day? That hasn’t happened since you were in Elementary School.

This excuse shows you’re scared to prioritize your needs over the needs of others. That the expectations of others have become more important than your health, success and happiness.

You’ll find that in your day, there is a lot of time wasted on menial tasks and general busywork for other people, that could be spent doing what you need to do. Put yourself first for a moment, and take a hold of your life.

6.“But, I need to pay the bills”

You’re scared to be independent. To be in total control of your finances and completely self reliant.

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Your bills will still be paid if you take the plunge. When starting though, what may suffer, is the money you have to spend on luxuries and treating yourself. And for most people making this excuse that is what you don’t want to suffer.

The question you have to ask yourself is, “Do I wan’t to spend on myself, more than I want to be successful?”.

In the words of Nassim Taleb, “The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary”. Don’t get addicted.

7. “I would do it, but I don’t think my partner (or kids) will be okay with it”

This excuse is a clear fear of putting yourself first. That you’re compelled to put the needs of your family before your own, in case they look poorly upon your decisions.

Be aelfish. Your family are there to support you, as much as you are to support them. And if what you wan’t doesn’t come at a detriment to their well-being, be selfish and put yourself first. They’ll be more accepting of what you’re doing than you’d think.

8. “I haven’t had the right opportunity yet”

This excuse is akin to not having enough time. Opportunities are like buses – there’s one every twenty minutes.

If an opportunity comes your way, take it. It will never be perfect or come in a beacon of light, sealed by the gods. It’ll present itself in an awkward fashion and show up at the worst possible time.

And, when you can’t find any opportunities at all – make one. You can’t let your future lie purely on elements you have no control over.

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9. “I don’t know the right people.”

When people say, ‘It’s not what you know, it’s who you know’ – they’re usually scared of their abilities to get things done. Your network is a valuable resource that takes you to places far beyond your reach. But don’t use it as an excuse to not do anything.

Take the initiative to find the right people, and get to knew them. There are no shortage of networking books out there (Personal Recommendation: Never Eat Alone, Keith Ferazzi’) – so go out and find the right people.

Forge a network that will benefit you. Go out and talk to them, because they won’t come looking for you.

10. “I’m not ready yet”

You will never be ready. All the preparation and planning in the world goes out the window as soon as you put everything in motion.

Not being ready is an excuse shrouded in the fear of taking action.

The best way to defeat your fears? Take action.

Stop trying to be ready to do things, and start doing them anyway.

Featured photo credit: William Marlow via flickr.com

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Last Updated on August 15, 2018

When You Start to Enjoy Being Single, These 12 Things Will Happen

When You Start to Enjoy Being Single, These 12 Things Will Happen

Being single can make you weary, especially if you didn't initiate a breakup, it could be easy to get carried away with reminiscing and what-if scenarios. Staying caught up in the past is toxic to your growth, however, and interferes with your ability to move forward. Single life can be self-actualizing and enjoyable, but you need to embrace it first. No matter where you are on your journey in coming to terms with being single, the following 12 fantastic things will happen when you accept it.

Video Summary

1. You will be more focused.

    Once you start to treasure your new-found freedom, you will realize that taking time for yourself will show you what is most important in your life. Enjoying your single time will make what you want clearer and reveal which areas of your life you should build upon. Additionally, studies show that experiencing something alone results in our brain forming a more clear and longer lasting memory.

    2. You will be more active.

      Studies show that unmarried people are also more fit than their hitched counterparts. Let yourself welcome being single, and use this time to your benefit. You'll be more confident and in control when you do meet someone special.

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      3. You will be more likely to have high goals.

        Being single means you can't settle. In case someone who captures your heart comes along, you need to be at the top of your game. By embracing your time being single, you will be more able to pursue your goals and work towards a more complete, fulfilling future.

        4. You will be more creative.

          Spending time alone is also linked to an increase in creative thinking. Spending more time alone will force you to be a deeper thinker, and could lead you to solutions and projects you wouldn't have thought of otherwise.

          5. Your schedule will be your own.

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            Once you get past feeling lonely and realize how wonderful being single is, you will become aware of one of the best perks – your schedule is now completely your own. No longer do you need to have nights out approved, nor will long days at work get interrupted. Relax into loving your single life because nothing is quite as liberating as deciding every moment of your weekly schedule.

            6. You will likely save money.

              Dating is a great way to wave goodbye to all your hard earned cash. When you're with someone, there's nothing more important than impressing them, including your income. However, when the relationship fizzles, you realize how this tactic doesn't pay off. Not only are we more prone to spending when dating, married couples are more likely to have credit card debt than unmarried singles. So don't get depressed when you're eating cheap meals alone – it's really a form of investing in your future!

              7. You won't need to compromise on entertainment.

                Particularly if your significant other tends to have different tastes than you, being single can be a blessing. As soon as you can appreciate being single, you will realize how freeing it is to always watch exactly what you want. There is no longer any need to skimp on your favorite movies, plays, or TV shows that others don't appreciate.

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                8. You will have more time for your family.

                  Another thing you will realize once you learn to relish being single is you now have much more time for family. Especially when it comes to older relatives, time spent with them truly is precious. Make the most of your single time by reconnecting with family members in your life you may have been neglecting.

                  9. You have more time for your friends.

                    Once you start basking in your single glory, you will also find that you have more time for your friends. Not only will increased free time let you reconnect with friends you may have neglected while being half of a couple, studies also show that married people have much weaker social lives than those who are unmarried.

                    10. You will find new haunts in your city.

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                      Once you start to enjoy your single life again you will also find that you have plenty of time to rediscover your city. Where relationships see us fall into the same habit of favorite spots to drink, eat, or dance, when you're on your own you will naturally start to explore fresh venues again.

                      11. You'll find more interests.

                        Similarly, enjoying your time being single will give you more time to consider new hobbies and interests. Instead of repeating the same go-to dates, you can now freely explore activities that really make you passionate.

                        12. You will be more aware of what you want.

                          Ultimately, taking time to ourselves is an important ingredient in discovering what type of person is our ideal match, or what career we can happily commit to. By delighting in your uninhibited life, you are more able to experiment and thereby find out what works for you and what doesn't. Don't look at being single as a drawback, since learning more about yourself and finding out what makes you tick are crucial in forming balanced, healthy relationships in the future.

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