If you desire long-lasting relationship success, don’t forget to tell your partner these 10 essential things every day.
1. “I miss you.”
“If conversation was the lyrics, laughter was the music, making time spent together a melody that could be replayed over and over without getting stale.” – Nicholas Sparks
Telling your partner you miss them through a simple text or email will make them feel needed, wanted, and appreciated. If you’re home with the kids while your partner is at work, send them a group family photo with a message like, “We can’t wait for you to get home!”
2. “How was your day?”
“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” – J.K. Rowling
Resist the temptation to go on a tirade about how terrible your day was as soon as you walk in the door. This isn’t to say you can’t rant and rave about a bad day, but doing so without consideration of your partner’s life is self-centered.
3. “Do you remember that time we ______?”
“Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things.” – Keanu Reeves
Relationships have a way of losing that magical “spark” as the months and years go by. Reminding your partner of your most cherished memories together—like your first vacation together, or that one time you got busted making out in a mall elevator—will help you remember why your relationship is so special in the first place.
4. “How can I help?”
“I want to be in a relationship where you telling me you love me is just a ceremonious validation of what you already show me.” – Steve Maraboli
If you’ve ever panicked in the morning because you’re running late to work and can’t find your keys, you know there are few things more stressful than losing something at an inopportune time. Lighten your partner’s load by asking them how you can help when they appear stressed out or overburdened.
5. “What do you think?”
“When you don’t talk, there’s a lot of stuff that ends up not getting said.” – Catherine Gilbert Murdock
Your relationship shouldn’t be a dictatorship, but rather a democracy. Ask your partner how they feel about all decisions big and small, from where to visit for summer vacation, to your children’s education.
6. “You’re so gorgeous/handsome/hot.”
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” – Leo Buscaglia
If you don’t compliment your partner, how can you expect them to feel wanted or appreciated? Tell them all about their strong-suits by saying things like:
- Physical – “I love it when you smile, because you have the cutest dimples.”
- Attitude – “I love how patient/thoughtful/kind/confident you are, because that makes me feel ____________..”
- Attire – “I can’t stop checking out your butt in those jeans” or “Hello, tiger… you look quite GQ in that suit today!”
7. “Let’s meet in the middle.”
“Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
It’s easy to become convinced that you’re 100% right during a nasty fight, but please resist the urge to be stubborn. Thinking your partner is wrong about something isn’t an excuse to discount how they feel. Let go of your need to be right and work together as a team.
8. “I’m sorry. You’re right.”
“Every couple has ups and downs, every couple argues, and that’s the thing—you’re a couple, and couples can’t function without trust.” – Nicholas Sparks
Making a mistake is okay (within reason) as long as you’re humble enough to say you’re sorry and accept personal responsibility. Refusing to admit your mistakes, however, could turn what would have been a small squabble into an eternal dispute that destroys trust.
9. “Please” and “Thank you”
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough” – Oprah Winfrey
Tell me which one you’d rather hear from your partner:
- Take the dog outside.
- Hey honey, could you please take the dog outside? I’m tied up with the laundry right now, so I’d really appreciate it. Thanks!
Big difference, am I right?
10. “I love you.”
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu
No matter how long you’ve known a person, I can promise that those 3 words will never lose meaning.