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Starting Now You Can Live Happily Ever After If You Do These Things

Starting Now You Can Live Happily Ever After If You Do These Things

Everyone talks about happiness like it’s something elusive, but in reality it’s quite easy to achieve. Jump ahead of the crowd and start now to live happily ever after by following these 15 tips.

1. Be thankful.

Be thankful for all that you have; don’t waste time wishing for things you can’t have. There’s a time for everything.

2. Define happiness.

Happiness means different things to different people. Start a list, or write in a journal to define what happiness means for you. This way you know exactly what to work for.

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3. Be realistic.

Do you think being a millionaire and living in a mansion will make you happy? Sure it will, but is it realistic? Maybe you should focus on setting achievable goals first. After you reach a certain level of achievement, you can reassess and set your sights higher.

4. Be open to happiness.

People often complain that they work hard for happiness, but still seem to be unhappy. More than likely, these people aren’t actually open to happiness. You have to let go of the past and anything negative in your life before you can really be ready to be happy.

5. Love yourself.

You are who you are. Own it and accept it. Love yourself when you look cute and have a great day at work. Or you might be having a bad day, which means you need to love yourself more than ever. Love yourself every day, in the past, present, and future.

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6. Live for yourself.

You’re an adult, and you don’t need the approval of anyone else. Don’t take a job just because the status would impress your friends. Don’t date someone because you think your parents would like him or her. Make your own choices for your own life, and happiness will come to you. Believe it or not, your friends and family will be happy right along with you!

7. Don’t depend on others.

Don’t think that you need your partner to take care of things around the house, or a co-worker to help you with a certain project to get it done. You have the power to do it all yourself. Trust yourself, give yourself that responsibility, and you’ll be happier because you’re self-sufficient. This also means you won’t depend on other people to make you happy – you’ll have that power in the palm of your hands.

8. Keep working for it.

Never let yourself get content in your life. Once you think you’ve got it all, you’ll slack off and might lose what you have. Keep working, keep pushing yourself to achieve more and do better in life. If your life seems perfect, then look around you and help others. This will affect your personal happiness more than you realize.

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9. Stop doing things that don’t make you happy.

If you hate going to work every morning, start looking for a new job. If one friend’s negativity brings you down every time you hang out, talk to them about it, or gradually stop spending time with them. Life is short, and you deserve to be happy; don’t waste time being unhappy just because you might feel obligated to do so.

10. Let go of jealousy and insecurity.

Let go of all negativity! Don’t be jealous of people who you might think look more attractive than you, or have better lives than you. Everyone has problems, you just don’t know what they’re going through. Being jealous over what you can’t have or be will only make you insecure in your own life.

11. Don’t dwell in the past.

Stop letting that time you flubbed a public speech haunt you. Don’t think about what you could have done differently to make that boyfriend or girlfriend stay. The past is the past, and you can’t change it by thinking about it all the time. In fact, dwelling about it will only prolong the negative effect it has on your emotional well-being.

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12. Don’t worry about the future.

You can’t change the past and you can’t worry about the future! You never know what the future holds, but there’s no use in worrying about it. Do your best in the present – be emotionally happy, physically healthy, and work hard to make the best future you can.

13. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

You only live once. Make life fun! Work hard to get what you need, but make sure you balance it out with fun time as well.

14. Always find the bright side.

It might seem hard sometimes, but always look for the bright side of any situation. With practice, you’ll be able to find happiness on even the bleakest of days. Before long, you’ll be doing it without trying!

15. Write your own happy ending.

It’s your life – make it turn out how you want! How hard you work and how much fun you have is going to affect how you feel as you get older. Don’t worry about hitting certain levels of achievement – focus on being as happy as you can along the way!

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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