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A Letter To My 20-something Daughter

A Letter To My 20-something Daughter

Recently I was reading an article written by Whitney Fleming. It was a letter to her daughter before she heads into her teens. This got me thinking about what will happen when I have a daughter that is going through her 20s just like I am now. What will I want her to know?

To my daughter,

I write this letter to you as I am working through my 20-something years. There are some lessons I’ve learned and I hope that I can pass on my knowledge to you.

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1. Choose a career that matters to you

Sometimes it isn’t until you hit your 20-somethings that you really start to understand what matters to you. Take your passion and make it into a career. When you choose something you’re passionate about, you’ll never really feel like you’re working.

2. Don’t be afraid to open your heart

You will with no doubt have been burned by a love, if not more than one, by this point in your life. And while it won’t be easy to open up completely again to another person, just try. Don’t ever sell your love short because you’re afraid of getting hurt. You will get hurt over and over until you find the right one. And when you find the right one, it’ll all be worth it.

3. It’s ok to let go of friends

Friends, unfortunately, come and go. Sometimes they fade away, sometimes a fight will damage the best of friendships. But remember, you don’t need to hold on to everyone. Some people are meant to stay in your life, some are meant to teach you things, and some are meant to leave you with amazing memories. Take each situation as its own, so that you can learn and grow.

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4. Smile at your memories

Wether it’s losing friends or boyfriends, you’ve once had amazing times with these people. Don’t ever let anger or sadness of a situation ruin your memories. Let yourself smile when you remember these times because at one point, they were exactly what you wanted out of your life. And the good times can’t ever be erased.

5. Be indepepdent

Learn how to be on your own. Learn how to navigate directions, hang pictures, find studs in the wall, and cook. Become your own independent woman. No matter if you’re still living with me or a roommate or a boyfriend. Learn how to stand on your own two feet and know that when the cake burns, the picture rips out of the wall, or your get lost, you’ll be proud because you will be able to manage it all by yourself.

6. Don’t worry about money

There’s a secret to money. You’ll always need more and you will never have enough. So let what you have be enough. As long as you can pay your bills, eat, and keep yourself safe, you have enough. Don’t worry if others are going on vacation or have better cars than you. Your day will come for those things, too. Appreciate what you can afford.

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7. There’s no time limit for finding “the one”

I found the man I married at only 19 years old. But that doesn’t mean that if you’ve hit mid-way through your 20’s and you haven’t met him all hope is lost. Mr. Right will come for you when the time is right. Don’t rush it and don’t worry yourself looking high and low for him. You WILL find each other.

8. Embarrass yourself

I was always someone who was too timid to make a mistake. So afraid of making a fool of myself. You WILL make mistakes. You might over sleep and miss your class, or drink too much and dance on the bar. I’m not saying go wild, but I’m saying let yourself go. Embarrassing yourself is unfortunately life. And your 20s are usually the time when you’re exploring so much that you will make these embarrassing mistakes. So laugh it off and remember that it’s turning your face red now, but will make for some pretty funny stories one day.

9. Enjoy the present

Today is today. Tomorrow is tomorrow. I tell you this incase you forget to live for today not for tomorrow. You don’t know what life will hold for you in the future. It’s always smart to plan, but don’t stress over what will be. What will be will be, so embrace your present and live it to its fullest.

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10. I have been there, done that, and will help you through it

I was a 20-something myself years ago. I made mistakes, worried about the future, embarrassed myself, lost friends, had heartbreaks, and many other obstacles which you will no doubt go through as well. Talk to me. Even though you think I’m old and out of touch with life, I’ve been where you are. Never forget I’m your mother. I will love you unconditionally no matter what mistakes you make. I will give you advice when you seek it and I will listen when you want to cry. I will help you through.

I wanted to share something I’ve learned while I worked through my 20s but there are many more lessons about life that you will learn on your own. But remember your 20s have to be embraced. Explore life and enjoy every second. Just know there will always be a light on for you to come back home.

Love you always,
Mom

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Last Updated on June 23, 2019

20 Things People Regret the Most Before They Die

20 Things People Regret the Most Before They Die

Close your eyes and imagine that you’re at your own funeral—a bit morbid I know, but there’s a reason for it. Now think about what you’d like people to say about you. What kind of a life do you want to lead? People die with all kinds of regrets. Don’t be one of them.

1. I wish I’d cared less about what other people think.

It’s only when you realise how little other people are really thinking of you (in a negative sense) that you realise how much time you spent caring and wasting energy worrying about this.

2. I wish I had accomplished more.

You don’t have to have won an Oscar, built up a business or run a marathon, but having small personal accomplishments is important.

3. I wish I had told __ how I truly felt.

Even if the “one” doesn’t exist, telling someone how you truly feel will always save you from that gut wrenching”but what if…” feeling that could linger for life if you stay quiet.

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4. I wish I had stood up for myself more.

Sometimes, it’s too easy to think that if you go all out to please everyone you’ll be liked more or your partner won’t run off with anyone else. I think age probably teaches us to be nice but not at the expense of our own happiness.

5. I wish I had followed my passion in life.

It’s so easy to be seduced by a stable salary, a solid routine and a comfortable life, but at what expense?

6. I wish our last conversation hadn’t been an argument.

Life is short, and you never really know when the last time you speak to someone you love will be. It’s these moments that really stay clear in peoples’ minds.

7. I wish I had let my children grow up to be who they wanted to be.

The realisation that love, compassion and empathy are so much more important than clashes in values or belief systems can hit home hard.

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8. I wish I had lived more in the moment.

Watching children grow up makes you realise how short-lived and precious time really is, and as we age, many of us live less and less in the present.

9. I wish I had worked less.

There’s always a desire to have loosened up a bit more with this one and the realisation that financial success or career accomplishment doesn’t necessarily equal a fulfilled life.

10. I wish I had traveled more.

It can be done at any age, with kids or not but many talk themselves out of it for all kinds of reasons such as lack of money, mortgage, children, etc. When there’s a regret, you know it could have been possible at some stage.

11. I wish I had trusted my gut rather than listening to everyone else.

Making your own decisions and feeling confident in the decisions you make gives us fulfilment and joy from life. Going against your gut only breeds resentment and bitterness.

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12. I wish I’d taken better care of myself.

Premature health problems or ageing always makes you wonder if you’d eaten healthier, exercised more and been less stressed, would you be where you are today?

13. I wish I’d taken more risks.

Everyone has their own idea of what’s risky, but you know when you’re living too much in your comfort zone. In hindsight, some people feel they missed out on a lot of adventure life has to offer.

14. I wish I’d had more time.

Many people say time speeds up as we age. The six weeks of summer holidays we had as kids certainly seemed to last a lifetime. If time speeds up, then it’s even more important to make the most of every moment.

15. I wish I hadn’t worried so much.

If you’ve ever kept a diary and looked back, you’ll probably wonder why you ever got so worked up over X.

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16. I wish I’d appreciated ___ more.

The consequences of taking people for granted are always hard to deal with.

17. I wish I’d spent more time with my family.

Some people get caught up with work, move to other parts of the world, grow old with grudges against family members only to realise their priorities were in the wrong place.

18. I wish I hadn’t taken myself so seriously.

Life is just more fun when you can laugh at yourself.

19. I wish I’d done more for other people.

Doing things for others just makes life more meaningful.

20. I wish I could have felt happier.

The realisation that happiness is a state of mind that you can control sometimes doesn’t occur to people until it’s too late.

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