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How to Never Stop Growing and Learning

How to Never Stop Growing and Learning

It was Gandhi who said, “Learn as if you were to live forever.” Why do you think he recommended this? It’s because human beings are not meant to stop growing and learning, even though our time on earth is limited. Part of finding and sustaining happiness in your life is opening yourself up to new things as you get older, though it’s not always easy to do this.

Life happens. Stress abounds and our responsibilities, typically financial, lead us to de-prioritize our own intellectual growth. Steps to change, however, are quite possible. These steps will help point you in the right direction of having a lifestyle that helps you unlock your unlimited potential.

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1. Surround Yourself with Achievers

We become who we hang around, so why not use this truth to your advantage? As you get older, find individuals who are growing and learning, and share your life with them. As they experience and accomplish new things, you’ll be inspired to do the same.

2. Turn Off the TV

Yikes. This can be a hard one, but TV pretty much numbs our minds and prevents us from producing like we can when our minds are at their peak. A way to ease into a television-free lifestyle is to ban TV from your weekdays and save it for the weekend. You can use the freed-up time to read and learn something completely new while still keeping up with your favorite shows at the end of the week.

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3. Find a Mentor

This can be a bit tricky since we sometimes like to rely on our friends to fill this role. A good mentor, however, is someone who is on a different level than you, though there are exceptions. You want a mentor who knows you well enough to call you out when they see you slipping into mediocrity, and you also want a mentor who isn’t afraid to push you to achieve more.

I had a mentor just like this in college. I knew he wasn’t just another friend because whenever we would hang out, he would spend the entire time evaluating and motivating me. Parents, older siblings and teachers are usually the best mentors, and they’re usually the most willing to accept your help if you ask for it.

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4. Be a Mentor

Nothing beats learning by teaching. When I was in school, I often tutored other students in order to help them and learn the material even better myself. Seek out opportunities to be a mentor for someone younger and hungry to learn. They’ll often inspire you to achieve more yourself, and taking on a tangible responsibility like this keeps you from decelerating your growth.

5. Focus on One Thing at a Time

Being “okay” at a lot of things isn’t as impressive as being the master of one. Let’s say you want to learn a language. It would be catastrophic (unless you’re that good) if you tried to learn two or three at the same time! Instead, focus on mastering each subject before you try something new.

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6. Stick to Subjects You Already Know

Let’s say you’ve managed to master the Spanish language. Awesome! But instead of trying to learn a topic that is completely unrelated, consider learning about Spanish history. You now know the language, so this the next natural step to gaining an even deeper understanding of the subject. It’s also a lot easier to learn more about a subject you already have an interest in.

7. Meet Interesting People

This is pretty easy in your 20’s, before you’ve really settled down. Once you have a spouse and kids, you won’t have as much free time to spend conversing with new people. Still, it’s worth the effort, and you don’t have to go to a bar to talk to strangers. Put yourself out there by talking to the myriad of people you run into, and maintaining this habit of curiosity will keep your mind open and receptive to the perspectives of others.

8. Create Something

One of my lifelong mottos has always been, “When in doubt, create something.” Sometimes our minds are just burnt out on taking in new information, and we need to express everything we’ve learned through our own “works of art.” For you, that can be a multitude of things like a novel, painting or skyscraper.

Whatever it is that’s begging to come out of that head of yours, know that pacing yourself in life is key to always staying interested in learning. Once you’ve exhausted your mental creativity, your inner self will be begging for you to learn something new.

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Jon Negroni

An author and blogger who shares about lifestyle advice

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

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