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Why Some Couples Fall Out Of Love

Why Some Couples Fall Out Of Love

Finding the love of your life is no small feat. Discovering a person who has similar beliefs, compatible qualities, and enough intrigue about them to keep the union interesting can be likened to winning powerball. It’s a long shot.

When you do find your person, it’s nothing short of fantastic. You guys like the same things, you finish each other’s sentences, and neither of you can imagine life without the other. These are good times indeed, but as any couple who has been together for a number of years, it’s inevitable that these blissful moments fade. But, it doesn’t have to fade to black.

Here are eight reasons why couples fall out of love, and thoughtful ways to avoid the predicament!

1. Couples forget what they love about the other person, so remind yourself!

Take a few minutes each day, or when you remember, to think on what you admire about your mate. Remember how those favorable qualities make you feel. Perhaps his kindness to others makes you proud to be with him, or her generosity makes you feel special.

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Choose to dwell on their good traits and discover how your view of them becomes more pleasant. When you see your lover as a good, kind, and generous person the more you believe you struck the relationship lottery. (No one wants to give-up a winning ticket!)

2. They don’t remember the good times, so keep it in plain sight!

Have pictures of when you first met around your home to remind you of the history you share. Store pictures of your partner, including your family, on your phone to prompt you to be thankful for your blessings. Also, if it’s not too far-fetched for you to believe and think of these pictures as possessing the “happy” energy of those times when they were taken, and to let it continue to positively affect your mood today.

3. Some take their partners for granted, so be thoughtful.

Do unexpected and kind things for your loved one. No matter how long you’ve been with a person, it is still the little things that blows them away. Show up with soup when she’s sick. Give him a back rub without being asked and watch their eyes light up. These small gestures of kindness convey how much they are cherished.

4. Couples forget the importance of romance, so instead put it in focus!

You may see each other daily, but that is not the same as seeing your lover in a romantic setting. The setting doesn’t need to be elaborate, but a few things need to be present for it to count as romantic.

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Lest you forget, this is not a post on how to stay friends – it’s about how to avoid falling out of love! (The grass ain’t gonna water itself!)

First, the energy you send out during these specific times has to be one of romance. You have to have the ‘I want you’ and ‘I desire you’ vibes flowing. Next, there has to be touching. Whether it’s holding hands, kissing, or more. Lastly, there has to be reciprocal acts of adoration and appreciation. If you want to stay in love, you got to act in-love.

5. People get caught up in the chaos of life, so find a way to laugh together.

Couples who laugh together are having a better time. (It’s not rocket science.)

When the person you’re with is who you share more happy and funny times with – that isn’t easily forgettable or replaceable. Tough times affect all couples, but when a couple can find a way to laugh at the craziness of life, you have something special – it’s called resilience.

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6. Couples fail to remember they’re on a team, so show unity.

One thing we hope for when committing to a relationship is the feeling that we don’t have to face life’s challenges alone anymore. The proverb of ‘”shared sorrow is half the sorrow and shared joy is twice the joy’” is the promise we expect fulfilled when pledging ourselves to another human being.

As we exchange our love, we in effect are saying, “I got you.” So keep your love strong by showing your partner how they are not alone. Be steadfast. Never stop demonstrating how you will be there to care, support, and protect each other.

7. Some always want to be right, so once in a while give in.

Sometimes the best resolution to an argument is to let it go and let the other person have their way. Being magnanimous supports your loving relationship more than being right. It’s not the answer to all disagreements, but on occasion it’s the right move.

Think about this, if the person you love the most is hurting – who really wins from being right?

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8. People forget, so keep love on the brain.

We need to hear the words “I love you” and see the loving actions that go along with it to be healthy and happy human beings. Many things happen throughout our day that can cause us to forget how lucky we are and so we need to be reminded that love is all around us. If we can show each other more love by saying it and doing it, then why would we ever leave each other?

One sure-fire way to avoid falling out of love is to keep love in the forefront. Let it be your mindset — filling your daily thoughts and actions. The more that love is on your mind, the more you will see it in your partner and coincidentally, in the world around you.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Hawk via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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